Monster and Mastermind
by LolaInSlacks88
Summary: Peace has settled within Ikebukuro after the information broker, Izaya Orihara, left town. But with news of his return - and a stay in her apartment! - Celty devises an elaborate scheme to keep the peace. It'll take all of her friends and almost all of her acquaintances to keep Shizuo and Izaya apart - or to bring them together. Plans are made, bets are placed, and a party begins!
1. Celty's Hotpot Party

**Monster and Mastermind**

 _1\. Celty's Hotpot Party_

The first chapter in the twisted love story ended. Nevertheless, as some of the kinks unraveled and new ones started to tangle, a second chapter began.

A mastermind returned. A monster became a human. A former assassin returned from her motherland. Two sisters dreamed of a normal life for their brother. A supernatural creature settled down into domestic bliss. A gang of four continued on, as thick as thieves, and a trio of three rebuilt their bond. And in the quiet of Ikebukuro, with the absence of gang wars and the firm dominion of the Awakusu-kai in place, the residents planned to keep the monster and the mastermind apart.

Yet their reunion seemed inevitable.

A hotpot party contained almost all but the monster and the mastermind: Mikado Ryuugamine, Anri Sonohara, and Masaomi Kida sat at a table and laughed – Masaomi gaily, Mikado gently, and Anri with a quiet, demure giggle. The quartet dove into their food with verve, Walker and Erika talking while they ate; Saburo and Kyohei watched, amused yet disgusted and utterly unsurprised at these ill manners. Vorona and Tom Tanaka sat together with Simon and Dennis, who had generously supplied some of the food. Occupied in the corner was Chikage Rokujo, who would sometimes sit with Kyohei and Masaomi, but often returned to his bevy of 'honeys'. Seiiji Yagiri was flanked by his girlfriend, Mika Harima, and his sister, Namie. He was annoyed by their constant clinginess as it disrupted his eating. Kasuka Heiwajima was also surrounded by women, but not distressed by it: to his left was Ruri Hijiribe, who was puzzled by the stares of the lank-haired man with the chatty manga fans, and to Kasuka's right were Mairu and Kururi Orihara, who were staring at him in lieu of eating. Mizuki Akabayashi and Akane Awakusu sat eating quietly near the trio of Masaomi, Mikado and Anri. Shingen Kishitani happily ate with his wife, Emilia, and son, Shinra. In another example of one of Ikebukuro's recent changes, Shingen had been convinced to remove his gas mask within the apartment, which made eating much easier of course.

And Celty Sturluson, the headless rider, who had retired from running errands for anyone except Shinra, watched all of it with reverie in her kitchen.

 _That's right;_ my _kitchen. This is my apartment, filled with my friends – mostly – and my lover. And this is my town. This, this is my life._

If she could have, a content sigh would've drifted out of her. Instead, a little puff of shadow slipped through her neck.

Shinra, ever attentive to her, caught this and excused himself from the table to go to her side.

"Celty, everything okay? Everyone seems to love the food you made! Listen to all of that laughter!" He embraced her warmly. "This feeling of contentedness, that's what you were feeling too, right?"

Celty leaned into him and nodded. [If only I could taste the food too. To share in it with everyone.]

Shinra pulled back and beamed at her ebulliently. "It's great, trust me!" He swept his arm out at the room dramatically. "And if you can't, trust the smiles on their faces!"

Celty looked and saw that everyone seemed as content as she felt. Inside, she smiled.

She wanted this peace to last. And for that reason, everyone had assembled at her apartment today – except for Shizuo. She felt badly, but he would be less than understanding of some of the discussions that were about to occur.

[Shinra, can you speak to everyone for me?]

He nodded, a smile on his face that further warmed her (figurative) heart. "Anything for you, Celty, my love."

[Tell them …]

"Everyone!" Shinra yelled, surprising even Celty with his clear, direct tone. "Celty wants to say a few things for you. Obviously, you can't all read that PDA from here so I'll speak for her. First of all, she thanks you for attending!"

"Thanks for the delicious grub!" Masaomi Kida called out, waving one hand.

"Thank you also for including me on my return," Vorona said with no inflection, though her expression was one of slight shyness. "I not always friend of everyone here. Is a surprise to be welcomed."

Simon patted her back with heft. "Vorona, what makes friends is forgiveness! You cease violence, everyone happy, da?"

Celty typed, and Shinra spoke for her. "Celty knows your intent in Ikebukuro is to find your place here with everyone. And she wants everyone else to find their place too. Which most of you have."

"Except for our brother!" Mairu exclaimed, perhaps a little too glibly.

"And mine," Kasuka added. Dokusonmaru kneaded on Ruri's knees contentedly, full of his, well, fill of raw fish.

Celty typed a lot, but quickly. She had more experience than most, if not any, with this.

"We heard last week from Izaya. It was a surprise, to say the least. He wants me – Shinra, that is – to help rehabilitate him. He's in a bad way from his fight with Shizuo –"

"And me," Vorona offered. No one could detect the mix of shame and satisfaction in her voice. She detested Izaya, but still regretted her contribution to his suffering. She'd had much time for reflection during her visit to Russia.

Celty waved her hands, then tapped away at her keyboard.

"The past is the past. We're trying to move forward. You can help, Vorona, and maybe that'll help fix things for you, too. As for everyone else, you know what we're scared of –"

"I'd say we not even tell him, but he'll find out soon enough," Tom Tanaka said, covering his face with his hand. "He can sniff out Orihara like a bloodhound."

"I am not clear on relation of bartender to broker," Emilia Kishitani said. "Why they not get along? Bad business?"

"You could say that," Shinra answered. "I went to high school with both of them. There's been a LOT of bad blood between then and now. But Shizuo and Izaya both went too far. Izaya knows it. He told me not to tell Shizuo he'd be here, and I feel like for the first time in his life, he told me the truth. He said, "I'm scared to die"."

Everyone was startled by this revelation. Izaya was someone who held the truth close to his heart. No one really knew him. Only OF him.

Namie managed to break away from Seiiji long enough to say, "I actually believe you. I think he's the loneliest person I know, though that Heiwajima guy seems pretty aloof too. And trust me, I know aloof."

"You're the Queen of Ice, _Sis_ ," Mika said with a too-large smile on her face. She followed that with a pert titter. Namie grimaced and clung back to Seiiji, who dropped the food from his chopsticks with a disgruntled frown.

"But you know, even if I don't say anything, it'll slip out." Shinra sighed and looked to Celty. She threw her hands up in defeat/agreement. "So Celty decided that, in order to keep the peace in Ikebukuro, it's up to us to basically con them into making amends."

Kyohei spat out a mouthful of noodles, making Walker and Erika chuckle. "Wait, what? Make the two of them, Shizuo and Izaya, mortal enemies at first sight, for over a decade, not completely hate one another's guts? We'd have better chances of pooling in and winning the lottery!"

"Or of sexy, friendly aliens deciding to visit Earth," Walker added with a leer.

Celty clutched onto Shinra out of habit; she still secretly feared that if Izaya and Shizuo didn't ruin Ikebukuro's peace, aliens would eventually come down to conquer Earth.

"I believe that peace is feasible between all people," Mikado said with a winsome smile directed towards Masaomi. "I'd like to see them make amends, and help them to, of course."

"I don't really like Orihara," Anri said meekly, "but I think he's cruel to others because it's his way of connecting to them. So maybe he'd be less cruel if we connected to him."

"Or better yet, make the other lonely dude connect to him," Chikage spoke up after a sip of beer. "Two birds, one stone."

"A vicious eagle and a crafty crow, you mean, with a mountain between them," Kyohei argued.

"Vorona is crow," Simon informed everyone. "Meaning of her name in mother tongue. Sloan, her associate, was elephant."

"Simon, man, that's not a nice thing to say about a guy," Masaomi kidded with a wink and a smile.

Everyone chortled. Even Vorona smiled. Tom looked like he'd seen a unicorn.

 _Tom likes her,_ Celty realized. _I was sort of the leader of a gang once; maybe I can play matchmaker while I try to mend things between Shizuo and Izaya._ She typed and tapped Shinra.

"Really? Well, Celty says we all have a role to play, kind of like … well, in a play. Think of her as the director, and I'm the stage manager."

"Do you think Celty can build a bridge between these two?" Shingen asked. "She's hardly an expert in humanity."

Shinra spoke before Celty could furiously type a retort: "Celty knows humans better than anyone, even Izaya. Her soul is pure and well intentioned. She's like a mother to everyone. We're more her children than Saika's were to her."

Celty nudged Shinra, who noticed Anri's shifting gaze.

"No offense, Miss Sonohara," he appended quickly.

"N-none taken." Anri smiled while Mikado squeezed her hand under the table.

Celty was pleased to see that one of them had finally made the first move. She hoped to bring similar results to Tom, whom she respected as a good friend of Shizuo's.

Celty held up a finger and hurried off to the spare room to rummage for something. The others waited for her to return, curious about the proposed plan. There was muted chatter until she returned with a whiteboard and a handful of markers and an eraser.

She drew a list of names grouped together and assigned code names.

 **Otaku:**

 **Kyohei Kadota**

 **Erika Karisawa**

 **Walker Yumasaki**

 **Van Driver Guy**

 **Sushi:**

 **Tom Tanaka**

 **Vorona**

 **Simon … (she wrote a lot of squiggles trying to make out Simon's last name)**

 **Dennis**

 **Hollywood:**

 **Ruri Hijiribe**

 **Kasuka Heiwajima**

 **Kururi Orihara**

 **Mairu Orihara**

 ***Dokusonmaru**

 **High School Gang:**

 **Mikado Ryuugamine**

 **Anri Sonohara**

 **Masaomi Kida**

 **Chikage Rochi**

 **Yakuza:**

 **Akane Awakusu**

 **Mizuki Akabayashi**

 ***And any helpful, "in the know" associates**

 **Twisted Love:**

 **Seiiji Yagiri**

 **Namie Yagiri**

 **Mika Harima**

 **HQ:**

 **Celty Sturluson**

 **Shinra Kishitani**

 **Emilia Kishitani**

 **Gas Mask Idiot**

Some of them had things to say about this arrangement.

"My name's Saburo! Saburo Togusa!"

"Celty have trouble with Russian tongue? Brezhnev. I show you to write, da?"

"Thank you for including Dokusonmaru as part of the team, Miss Celty."

"Why the hell am I counted in the "High School Gang"? Because I'm _in_ a gang? I'm flattered, but I'm sure as hell way past high school aged."

"Hey, sure, I'll bring in the big guns for this one. Well, maybe not guns … but I'll put our resources to good use."

"I won't work with her!"

"I wouldn't work with _her_ either, but I know she'll cling to Seiiji like a barnacle no matter what."

"Celty, when will you call me 'Father' instead of those horrid pet names of yours?"

Celty scrawled **NEVER** on the board in response to the last comment by Shingen.

She quickly scrawled another list, writing: **SHIZUO: SUSHI, HOLLYWOOD, HIGH SCHOOL GANG; IZAYA: TWISTED LOVE, YAKUZA, OTAKU. HQ BETWEEN BOTH.**

"Boy, this is sure complicated!" Erika muttered, taking it all in. "But I'm excited! It feels like we're in a convoluted manga plot!"

 **YOU ALL HAVE A TASK: HOLLYWOOD AND OTAKU WILL GET PERSONAL INPUT FROM THEIR SUBJECT, MEANING YOU DIG INTO THEIR PERSONAL LIFE AND FEELINGS THROUGH CONVERSATION. YAKUZA AND HIGH SCHOOL GANG, YOUR JOB IS SURVEILLANCE: MAKE SURE THEY STAY OUT OF TROUBLE INVOLVING ONE ANOTHER. AND FINALLY, SUSHI AND TWISTED LOVE, YOUR JOB IS TO CREATE SITUATIONS FOR THEM TO INTERACT IN. PARTIES, GATHERINGS, WHATEVER YOU CAN THINK OF. AND MAKE SURE THEY DON'T COME TO BLOWS. SHINRA AND I WILL MAN THE SHIP AND YOU CAN COME TO US FOR UPDATES AND ADVICE.**

Celty's writing got smaller and smaller as she struggled to fit all of this onto the whiteboard. Atop it was a space large enough for her to write: **OPERATION PIB (PEACE IN IKEBUKURO)**.

"Well, guess Sushi and Twisted Love will be holding back for a bit," Kyohei said. "Since it'll be a bit before the 'no blows' thing will happen."

"Or before the other kind of blow does," Erika snickered.

"Drugs?" Akabayashi queried, confused. "Don't think that'll help the case."

"Yaoi is her drug," Walker explained with a smile to Akabayashi.

Akane twiddled her fingers. "Oh, my … the … t-two of them?"

"Will never happen!" Vorona objected. "Shizuo hate Izaya with fiery passion!"

"Hey, passion is key," Chikage remarked. "Strong feelings of one kind can turn into strong feelings of another."

Celty typed a message into her PDA, which Shinra read aloud: "This isn't a love connection! Just trying to find some common ground so they come to understand one another."

Shinra folded his arms. "You know, I'm probably the person that knows the both of them best. Meaning I've seen them interact the most. And I'd say a love connection isn't impossible."

"My brother has wondered what his relationship with Orihara would be if he could trust the 1%, whatever that means," Kasuka admitted.

"Yeah, and our brother thinks Shizuo has a cute sleeping face," Mairu spoke up, grinning ear to ear.

Kururi added, "He thinks of doing things to Shizuo in his sleep. Like stripping him naked and putting him in the middle of the road. He says it's to see what would happen, but I think he wants to see Shizuo naked." Her tone was deadpan, and she blinked slowly as everyone took in this information.

Shinra thumbed his chin. Celty dreaded the conclusion he'd draw. "Hmm, maybe if Hollywood and Otaku feed good things about them to each other, they'll come to realize more things they don't detest about one another."

"I can buy into it," Namie admitted. "Izaya's way too obsessed with Shizuo. It's beyond just hating someone. He could've killed him long ago. He enjoys the push-pull relationship."

"Shizuo knows where Izaya's apartment is," Tom added. "Don't ask me how. He's gone there a few times to 'kill' him but obviously he never did."

Erika clapped her hands together. "A secret love affair gone bad! Instant attraction between rivals, heated hate-sex-"

Walker clapped a hand over her mouth. "That sounds like fanfic, Erika!"

Kyohei shook his head. "I think they're both still virgins. The only love letter Shizuo ever got on White Day was a prank from Izaya, and he bought his own chocolates. And Izaya claimed to get heaps of both from girls, but I think he wrote them and bought them for himself."

"Brother has had crushes on Mother figures," Kasuka volunteered. "But that was mostly when he was little. He never talks about women now. Hm." His gears seemed to tick away. Dokusonmaru meowed, craving attention.

"Our brother says lots of women love him," Kururi said with a finger to her mouth, "and of course that he loves all of them, as humans. Shizuo's the only person he doesn't love, but _I_ think it's a defense mechanism to keep Shizuo from hurting him. Well, breaking his heart."

[Enough!] Celty typed. [The more you talk about it, the more I can buy into it – and I don't want to turn into a deluded fangirl! They're oil and water!]

She pictured the two walking down the streets of Ikebukuro holding hands. Izaya turning and smiling at Shizuo, who would shut his eyes and smile with a sigh. Seeing the two sitting across from one another through the window of a café, sharing a shake. Sitting on a bench under a cherry blossom tree, kissing when they thought no one was looking.

As implausible as it seemed, the peaceful images were sort of cute. And this frightened her – especially when her thoughts drifted to the aftermath of a date.

[We're not trying to brainwash them into being lovers! Not even friends! We're not magicians!]

Shinra read her texts and smiled up at her. "It's Ikebukuro, Celty: stranger things have happened."

"Let's place bets," Chikage suggested, standing up. "Three results: they keep on hating one another's guts, they make up, or they make out."

"That's a good way to keep motivated!" Masaomi agreed with a chortle. He stood up and held up one finger. "Are we placing bets on multiple results, or one apiece?"

"Let's keep it to one." Akabayashi dug into his coat and retrieved a notepad and pen. Celty was impressed. "I'll keep track."

A flurry of excited conversation erupted. Shinra looked at Celty with a smile and shrugged before he went to place his bet.

Playing off of Celty's own codenames, Akabayashi had the whimsical idea to make codenames of his own for the three results: Death in Ikebukuro, Fruitful Friendship, and Improbable Man-Love.

 _DII:_

 _Vorona_

 _Tom_

 _Chikage_

 _Akabayashi_

 _Shingen_

 _Saburo_

 _Kyohei_

 _FF:_

 _Simon_

 _Dennis_

 _Mikado_

 _Anri_

 _Seiiji_

 _Emilia_

 _Walker_

 _IML:_

 _Masaomi_

 _Akane_

 _Mika_

 _Namie_

 _Shinra_

 _Erika_

 _Kasuka_

 _Ruri_

 _Kururi_

 _Mairu_

Celty was surprised that the whole of **HOLLYWOOD** was on board for a romantic result, especially considering that Shizuo and Izaya's own siblings supported it. The ones who knew them best.

She struggled with what she expected and hoped for. She expected old patterns to return chaos to her beloved city. She hoped for the two to find a middle ground. And she doubted there would be park kisses, shared shakes, and lover's strolls. In the end, she decided not to bet, since the project was her own idea, but inside she had decided she'd have betted on the middle ground.

At her core, Celty was an optimist.

After the dust had all settled from the excitement of gambling, everyone returned to their seats and waited expectantly for their first direction from Celty.

[YAKUZA and HIGH SCHOOL GANG, keep an eye and ear out for news about Izaya and Shizuo. Izaya will be coming back to town tomorrow. Shizuo has the day off, and Tom sent him on a trip to the beach for some time in the sun. Hopefully he'll come back refreshed. OTAKU and HOLLYWOOD, I want you to meet up with your target and inform Shizuo about Izaya's return and update Izaya on Shizuo so he won't feel compelled to do it himself. TWISTED LOVE and SUSHI, just hold on until we get some feedback from the other teams. If you interact with either your target or the other party, remain neutral and try not to influence them negatively.]

Shinra spoke for her. She typed out a final message.

[Those who bet for DII, do NOT encourage bad behavior! Other than that, thank you all for coming, and now let's finish with dessert!]

While the majority of Celty's Ikebukuro friends and acquaintances dug into Botamochi, Shizuo was indeed relaxing in the sun. He had his eyes shut and was listening to the waves while the salt scent of the sea wafted into his nose.

 _It was nice of Tom to set this up for me. Wonder why he didn't come too._

 _It's nice out here. Hell, it's even been pretty quiet back in 'Bukuro._

His eyes opened abruptly as a phantom smell entered his nose: overpowering cologne.

The peace inside him abruptly departed as memories of the infobroker flooded back. Flashes of punches and blood and the sound of broken bones. Strangely, it wasn't rage he felt instead; it was guilt. And, oddly, some regret.

 _Tcch. What do I have to feel bad about? Flea had it coming._

 _Still, I nearly killed him._

A seagull chirped above him. Out in the distance was a sailboat.

 _Wonder what he's up to. Where he left to. If he's healed and how bad I broke him._

 _Don't know why I wonder that._

A kite flew overhead and a child giggled.

 _What if he comes back? What'll I do? Things can't return to the same way they were – the line was crossed. He tried to kill me and I woulda died if not for Celty. And I might've killed him if not for Vorona and Simon._

 _One of us might have to die for real, but it sure won't be me. Still, can I beat up a guy on crutches? In a wheelchair? Even him?_

 _He won't come back. If he does, he's got a death wish._

Shizuo sighed and turned in his hammock.

 _Peace sure is nice._

But peace was not perpetual. Life, he had come to find out, was alternately peace and chaos. Peace was the ideal and sometimes chaos was the reality.

The sounds and smell of the ocean lulled Shizuo back into a nap, the sun radiating heat into his skin.

He woke up with a bad sunburn and an uneasy feeling in his gut.


	2. Izaya's Return to Ikebukuro

_2\. Izaya's Return to Ikebukuro_

When Celty heard a knock on the door, she bolted up from the couch. Shinra stood next to her, placing a calming hand on her shoulder.

"It's probably him. He's been through a lot, so don't hold a grudge. Maybe he'll surprise you."

Celty knew Shinra regarded Izaya with more fondness than anyone else the infobroker knew. Izaya, in his way, showed his own version of loyalty to Shinra. Celty decided that, for Shinra's sake, she'd try to let bygones be bygones.

[I'm not letting him rope me into any jobs! I'm retired!]

Shinra embraced her and kissed her hand. The gesture calmed her, but she was still anxious. And also curious.

When Shinra opened the door, Celty was stunned: Izaya was on crutches with a suitcase and a folded up wheelchair beside him on the ground. He looked more thin than he had been, and he'd always been slender. His fair skin lacked color, and his bright eyes had dulled.

 _Even after all of this time, he's traumatized? Did losing that fight to Shizuo teach him a lesson?_

Celty suddenly felt a guilt she shouldn't have been burdened with, for extinguishing the blaze with her shadow. But she had saved Shizuo – her friend – and it was Izaya's fault to begin with.

Still, he was a pitiable sight now.

"Thank you for agreeing to take me in, Shinra," Izaya greeted. He moved his gaze to Celty. "Celty. It's kind of you to agree. Even if it's just for Shinra's sake."

Celty folded her arms, but eventually she caved and grabbed Izaya's belongings while Shinra helped him in.

 _I'm lugging around his crap for him yet again._

"How often do you use the wheelchair?" Shinra asked, Izaya's arm around his neck. The infobroker was shorter than him by an inch or so.

Izaya grimaced in pain. "When my legs get tired. My ribs healed, but I still feel twinges in them. And my legs ache all of the time. I don't like to put weight on them if I don't have to, but the chair wouldn't exactly make it up those steps."

"You could've taken the elevator," Shinra argued, settling Izaya on the couch.

Izaya forced a smile that once came easily. "Let me have some of my pride. I'm a broken man, Shinra."

"I can see that." Shinra sat beside him, and Celty ached with sympathy for Shinra's concern for his friend.

Celty sat on the other side of Shinra and made small talk, in her way. [What brings you back to Ikebukuro? Work?]

Izaya shook his head. "I'm on a bit of a hiatus. It's hard to get things done in this condition."

Celty wasn't sure she believed him. She half-wondered if the 'broken man' was all an act. It was sad to be unable to have faith in any aspect of Izaya's being.

"That's good," Shinra declared. "To be out of the game for a bit. You need time to relax. Did you come back to visit me?"

Izaya glanced at the ceiling like it was suddenly quite interesting. "I love humanity, but my favorite humans are here. This is my home."

 _Mine too. And you'd better play nice._

"Like who?" Shinra pointed to his cheeks in a mockery of pop idols. "Pu?"

That got a chortle out of Izaya. "Don't get a big head. My sisters are here too. And Kadota."

Celty saw and felt him tense. She knew he was thinking of highschool, and Shizuo.

"I'm guessing Shizuo still stomps around like Godzilla wearing a bartender uniform."

Even the way he said his name was different now. Celty realized that Izaya _was_ broken, and Shizuo was the one who'd broken him.

He was scared of Shizuo. Shinra was right.

"Just stay out of the streets and you'll manage to avoid him," Shinra suggested. "He doesn't know you're here yet. And when he does find out, he will just want you to stay away."

"It's a bit like a car wreck," Izaya mused, touching his ribs, "in that you know it's bad for you but you feel compelled to find out what happened."

"You don't need to know _everything_ ," Shinra insisted, eyeing Izaya's caress of his ribs. "Sometimes knowing things gets you into more trouble than not knowing. For now, why don't I get you settled in and Celty can fix us some lunch. If that's okay with you, Celty."

Celty nodded. [Udon okay with you, Izaya?]

"I never thought I'd be graced with a Dullahan's cooking," Izaya said with a wan smile. "Yes. I'll take whatever you offer, as long as there's no poison in it."

Celty punched in a reply. [Give me a little credit! I'd never poison anyone!]

 _If only he knew that the whole of Ikebukuro is working to make his presence welcome!_

"My apologies, Celty. Thank you."

While Celty cooked, Shinra took Izaya's belongings into the spare room. He helped him onto the bed and knelt in front of him.

"Shinra, what will Celty say if she comes in and sees this?" Izaya teased. He was, at least, at ease with Shinra.

Shinra frowned. "I'm trying to examine your legs."

"My arms got broken too," Izaya said with a sigh. He flinched as Shinra touched him. "Just a reminder that I lost to that beast."

"A lot of it may be psychosomatic," Shinra said while squeezing Izaya's thin legs. "It'll be hard to say without X-rays."

"Oh, they're not broken anymore," Izaya said with an even deeper sigh. "As nice as it is to be touched like this, you can stop."

Shinra's hands retreated and he sat on the bed next to Izaya. "So you're just weak?"

"I lost to him, didn't I?"

Shinra knew then that Shizuo had broken Izaya's ego in addition to his body. He wondered if Shizuo had any idea of how profound a transformation Izaya had experienced because of him.

He tried to take Izaya's mind off of it with a joke: "Wanna have a threesome with me and Celty?"

Izaya laughed sharply, then clutched his ribs as though they now ached. He winced. "Somehow I don't think she'd like that."

"You would?" Shinra asked. He'd expected him to mention a distaste for the thought of being in bed with a man. Shinra himself was open-minded, but his love was all for Celty.

"It'd be interesting, a man and a Dullahan, but impractical." Izaya grimaced. "I'm in no condition to engage in anything like that, anyway."

"Are you experienced in that sort of thing?" Shinra asked, curious but also trying to get Izaya's mind off of his pain and the memories of his defeat.

"I appreciate your attempts to distract me, but don't mix this talk of sex and pain – at least not this kind." Izaya toyed with the sheets, rolling the material between his thumb and finger. "I described myself as a masochist, and maybe I met my sadist. But I wasn't sure exactly what that entailed."

Shinra was intrigued. "I didn't know you were into BDSM."

Izaya smirked, a hint of his old self glinting through. "Again, I don't mean sexually. But you were always a curious pervert."

Then he was silent. Silence was unusual for Izaya Orihara. Shinra was genuinely concerned for someone he regarded as a friend. Out of impulse, he threw his arms around Izaya and gently embraced him.

Izaya flinched but didn't break away. "What's this?"

"I just felt like you needed it."

Shinra felt Izaya relax, and his hands tentatively caressed Shinra's back.

"I just wanted to love everyone, in my way, but no one ever loved me back."

Then Izaya did something Shinra had never heard him do, or even heard OF him doing: he sobbed.

The hands on his back turned into fists gripping the material of his coat. Shinra's eyes were wide to the point of cartoonish in his glasses. If this was an act, Izaya should've won an award.

But Shinra knew it wasn't.

"Izaya," he said softly, his own fingers curling into Izaya's weathered coat. "You're home now."

Celty had walked in to let them know lunch was ready, and was stunned by what she saw and heard. She had backed away quietly after observing for a time.

 _Boy's love?_ Her mind had been polluted by the conversation from the day before. _No. Just a friend comforting another friend. It doesn't seem like an act._

 _But even if it isn't, Shizuo won't buy into it. It'll take time and a lot of work to fix what's always been broken._

 _Maybe with me and Shinra behind him, and a little help from our friends, we can make this work._

 _Ah! My udon!_ Celty hurried back to the kitchen.

Izaya had seen Celty's entrance and hasty retreat. He'd been embarrassed to be witnessed in this moment of weakness, but Shinra was his closest friend, and he'd internalized his feelings for so long he just couldn't keep the façade up any longer.

His edge had dulled. No; he'd tried to plunge a knife into Shizuo Heiwajima and the blade had snapped clean off.

 _He broke me. I lost._

The last thing Izaya wanted was for people to think of him as weak. After that, it was to be hurt deeply by those he cared for. He'd come to realize this in the three years since he'd left Ikebukuro.

 _I thought I was scared to die. To cease existence. It's still a numbing thought. But it's misery to live unloved and alone. Defeated by a monster._

 _No – someone more human than I. More loved than me._

 _If I died, not only would I cease to exist, no one would care._

And that thought had made him rethink what he was doing with his life for the first time in just over ten years. He had regressed to the introvert from middle school, observing but not interacting.

He had nightmares. But he dreaded the darkness when he shut his eyes even more. Nightmares reminded him that he was alive, that he'd survived.

Barely.

 _I underestimated him. I underestimated the fact that Celty and so many others cared for him. And no one cared for me. I made it impossible for them._

 _"For the sake of science!" this fool embracing me would say. "For the sake of humanity!" might as well have been my mantra. Hurting people for my own entertainment. No wonder they all hated me._

 _If I hadn't lost, I'd never be thinking any of this. I'd still have that enjoyable obliviousness in my life. I'd still enjoy the game._

 _But what once was sweet now tastes sour._

"Thank you for taking me in, Shinra." Izaya withdrew and managed a smile for Shinra's sake, embarrassed by his weakness. Shinra's own ebullient smile showed that Izaya's show of emotion hadn't bothered him in the slightest.

"Not a problem. You're more than welcome to stay, as long as Celty is okay with it. And as long as you stay out of trouble, I think she won't mind."

Izaya waved a hand, disregarding the threat of trouble. "My business is settled for now. I put my old apartment in Shinjuku up for sale. I thought I'd never come back here, but here I am."

Kine and Manami had tried to convince him to remain in the Kanto region, but Izaya was growing bored there. Kine had remained a liason, informing him on the goings-on in Ikebukuro – for a fee. Manami had remained for a bit, hoping to see Izaya's downfall. But she already had, and when she realized this, she had told him he was too pathetic to bother with any more and she returned to Ikebukuro. Izaya knew she'd been troubled by the pity his condition had inspired in her.

Life had gone on without him in Ikebukuro. Some would say things had even improved there. Izaya felt left out. He longed for the familiar faces of his youth. He held a special love for all of Ikebukuro's inhabitants.

Much like Celty, he thought of Ikebukuro as his town.

In truth, Izaya was simply a stagnant person. He had been unable to move on from his past. For him, the conflict with Shizuo had ended in his defeat. Therefore, in his mind, his return to Ikebukuro wouldn't be problematic, as long as he avoided the brute.

He'd once enjoyed toying with Heiwajima, but it was too dangerous a hobby. Innately, Izaya was human. Shizuo was human too, deep down inside that mass of muscle and rage. But he was still unpredictable.

"Izaya?"

Izaya realized his mind had drifted away. Shinra's voice returned him to the present.

"Let's eat. I think I saw Celty peek in."

Shinra clasped his hands together, his cheeks flushing at the mere mention of her name. Izaya found his love for her irrational, pathetic, and somehow oddly endearing because of its sheer endurance. "Ceeeeeelty! We're coming out, my love! Sorry to keep you waiting!"

He helped Izaya into the wheelchair and placed his hands on it to wheel him out.

"When's the wedding?" Izaya asked before they met with Celty in the living room.

Shinra chuckled. "As much as I love imagining my Celty in a wedding dress – and the honeymoon, ah! – I don't think it can happen legally. Given she's technically not a human and all."

"Well, maybe one day you can have your own little ceremony."

Shinra's hand slid to Izaya's shoulder and squeezed. "One day I hope you'll find your own little slice of happiness."

Izaya thought about Shinra's kind demeanor and selfless wishes, and decided Shinra's happiness was what enabled him to be so kind to others. Izaya was deeply unhappy. He'd deluded himself into thinking he enjoyed his life, and he had enjoyed aspects of it for a time, but he was of an age now where he longed for more.

 _I can't be an information broker forever. And I don't want to be alone forever. As loathe as I am to admit it, I envy Shinra. He longed for Celty for years, and now he has everything he wants._

 _What do I long for?_

Izaya wasn't pleased with this existential dilemma. He didn't enjoy turning his powers of observation inwards onto himself. He loved humans much more than he loved himself.

As Shinra helped him onto the couch and Celty handed them bowls of steaming udon with fried egg and pork, Izaya looked over at the couple. The way Shinra could read Celty, even without a head or her PDA, was remarkable, an innate sense honed over time. And the sheer perseverance that had caused the dullahan to fall in love with him impressed Izaya.

 _Even a supernatural creature like her has the capability for bonds like love and friendship. Is it possible she's become more human than me?_

He smiled at her as he thought this, which made her body tighten. She typed something for Shinra to read.

[Why is Izaya giving me that creepy smile?]

Shinra nudged her with his elbow. "He's just happy because he can see how happy you make me. Right, Izaya?"

"Sure," Izaya agreed with a false note of enthusiasm.

Celty shrugged and clicked the remote. A program about the possibility of alien life in the universe exploded into view. Celty typed something to Shinra, and Izaya sensed she was excited by this program.

Aliens bored Izaya. He was far more interested in humanity.

Shinra and Celty both leaned forward, eagerly absorbing the information the narrator droned out to them. This shared interest of theirs was something that further bonded them, Izaya realized.

It was, for lack of a more refined word, 'cute.'

Izaya sighed and tried to eat his udon, but despite the appealing taste of it, he lacked appetite.

Celty shoved her PDA over Shinra and into Izaya's face. [Is it bad? You're not eating! You're practically a stick!]

Izaya was surprised by her motherly concern for him. He knew Celty was not fond of him, and sometimes she even struggled with disdain for him. But ultimately, despite her lack of the organ, she was just good-hearted.

"Your concern is touching, Celty. In honor of you and your hard work, I will eat."

He ate a bite of noodles while she looked at him expectantly. At least her body was turned towards him.

Something in Izaya's gut fluttered. A rumble of hunger?

Perhaps he could eat it after all.

When Shizuo returned to Ikebukuro, he got a prompt and strange request from his brother via text message.

[Would you like to join me and Ruri on a double date? Wait – you're single, so maybe you'd be a third wheel. Hm. What if I invite dates for you?]

Shizuo typed a reply, agitated at Kasuka's dig at his perpetual singledom.

[I'd love to see you, of course. If Ruri's there too, it's fine. Who the hell would you be bringing as dates for me? I'm not really interested in that.]

His phone flashed as he unpacked his travel bag. [Kururi and Mairu haven't seen you in a while. They'd like to tag along.]

Shizuo hadn't known Orihara's sisters were friendly with Kasuka. He was on good terms with them, despite his loathing of their flea brother, but he didn't appreciate their silly crush on Kasuka. The thought of them clinging to Kasuka while he sat with Ruri was uncomfortable.

[What the hell kind of gathering is this? You never hang out with the Orihara sisters.]

As Shizuo read the reply, he could sense Kasuka shrug. [Forget it, then.]

Shizuo dropped his toiletries off in the bathroom and typed out a begrudged retort. [Fine. Where should I meet you?]

[We'll meet at Ikefukurou.]

[You're not bringing the cat to a place with owls, are you?]

[Dokusonmaru has a play-date with Anri.]

Shizuo didn't recall this name. [Who?]

[We'll see you for lunch. 12:00?]

[Sure.]

Shizuo was excited to see his brother, but befuddled by the addition of the Orihara sisters. Ruri was sort of a non-entity; she didn't piss him off because she seldom talked. She was really a great match for Kasuka in that regard.

The idea of eating with a bunch of owls was weird. But Shizuo was fine with it if that's what Kasuka wanted.

He applied balm to his stinging sunburn and threw on a pair of loose board shorts and a button-down top. He was trying to avoid injuring his skin, which bothered him considerably more pain-wise than the layers underneath did.

When Shizuo walked into Ikefukurou, he was a summery sight to behold. Kasuka, who was notoriously punctual, was already sitting with Ruri. He rose to shake Shizuo's hand, making a casual observation: "You have a sunburn, Brother."

Shizuo ruffled his hair self-consciously. "Yeah, I know. I'll drink plenty of water."

They settled into a little corner table with padded couches for seating. Ruri and Kasuka sat across from Shizuo, who eyed the owls perched about the place warily. They eyed him right back.

After he'd ordered a water and the others had gotten their tea, the Orihara sisters bounded in – or rather, Mairu did, dragging Kururi behind her.

"Oh, woooow! I've never been here before! There's really owls all over!"

She gazed around in wonderment while Kururi nodded. "Owls everywhere."

They sat on either side of Shizuo and wrapped their arms around him in greeting. He flinched. "Easy! Can't you see the sunburn?!"

"Shizuo is red like a lobster," Kururi observed.

Mairu poked his arm. "It hurts? I really thought you were impenetrable!"

Shizuo snatched his arm away from her. "Yes, it hurts! Not that I hate seeing you, but what the hell are you two here for?"

Mairu shut her eyes and smiled, echoing her brother. Shizuo grimaced. "We'll just use Shizuo like a tanning booth, eh, Kururi? He's so burnt it's like the sun's radiating out of him!"

"You're going to peel," Kururi helpfully added.

Seeing Shizuo's growing agitation, Mairu turned to Kasuka. "Wow, what a time! On a date with the famous Heiwajima brothers and Ruri Hijiribe! I must be dreaming!"

"An owl flew onto me," Kururi remarked nonchalantly. Shizuo cringed as he looked at the little white creature, which looked back at him with no indication of a reaction.

Ruri giggled, her first noise other than her 'hello's to all. "Shizuo is so perplexed by animals. That owl seems interested in you, though!"

"It's pissing me off," Shizuo said, trying to avoid it, but it continued to stare at him with intensity. "Mind your own business, bird!"

"Owls are the symbol for Athena, the Greek goddess. They're incredibly wise." Kasuka held out an egg noodle for the owl. It crunched into it and flew away with its prize. "There. Better now?"

Shizuo sipped his water. "Yeah. So what the hell's going on? Surely you're not all here solely for the pleasure of my company."

The four shared glances across the table. Shizuo knew they were scared to tell him something. His hand clenched around the glass.

Kasuka, the least likely to draw his ire, answered: "Izaya Orihara is in Ikebukuro."

The glass shattered into dozens of tiny shards and water and ice flooded onto the table. Kururi managed a stunned, "Wow."

"The hell'd you just say?"

"He won't bother you, honest!" Mairu insisted. "He's still really hurt from the last fight you two had."

Shizuo's mind was filled with white-hot rage and words escaped him.

"We just thought you should know." Kururi sipped on her own water, looking down at the pool of Shizuo's spilled water. "It's dripping onto my legs."

A waiter hurried over with napkins while Kasuka spoke in an effort to calm Shizuo. "He's staying with Shinra. Shinra is going to help rehabilitate him."

Shizuo managed to speak, but it came out as more of an angry exclamation. "And Celty AGREED to this?!"

Ruri and Kasuka nodded.

"He's taking a hiatus from his work," Mairu assured Shizuo. She fiddled with a braid anxiously. "Listen, as a favor to us, leave him alone, will you?"

"You think I'm gonna seek him out to start a fight I already won?" Shizuo asked her with a terrifying smile.

Kururi tugged on his sleeve, trying to divert his angry attentions from her sister. "You hurt him badly. At least let him recover before you hurt him any more."

"Yeah, he's our brother, after all! Even if he IS weird, we don't want him to get killed."

"It'd make us sad."

Shizuo looked at Kasuka, his rage mingling with understanding. "Fine. But you tell him to stay the hell away from me and not to start any shit in 'Bukuro."

 _The flea really wants me to kill him! Either that or he's got something up his sleeve. He's gotta be healed up by now; it must be an act. I knew he'd come back one day and ruin my peace._

Shizuo felt on edge just knowing Izaya was in town. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled.

Remembering his directives, Kasuka asked, "How does this make you feel?"

Shizuo's fists clenched. "How does this make me _feel_?! The hell kinda question is that? You should know!"

"He's like a dog whose tree got pissed on by another dog," Mairu whispered to Kururi behind Shizuo's back.

Kururi nodded. "Watersports."

"The hell are you talking about back there?" Shizuo had caught Kururi's retort but had no idea what it meant.

"Is your heart pounding in your chest?" Ruri asked, drawing his attention away from the sisters.

"Huh?"

"Izaya makes your heart pound," Kasuka said. Though it was imperceptible to the others, Shizuo could see his smile. "Now you feel compelled to know what he's doing. You're angry, confused, and curious."

"HUH?" Shizuo repeated. A vein throbbed in his temple.

Ruri and Kasuka shared a knowing look, and Shizuo was lost. This angered him even more.

"Now your thoughts are consumed only by him," Kasuka said as if it was fact.

"Well, yeah – BECAUSE YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT HIM!"

The waiter had been approaching to take their meal order and backed away quietly.

"That's enough for now." Kasuka clasped his hands. "We should get you more water so you can cool down."

Shizuo felt like he was having a bad dream. The situation was surreal. He fought the urge to stand up and stalk right over to Shinra's.

 _If he leaves me the hell alone, I'll leave him alone._

 _But he won't. The flea's got some kind of compulsion to fuck with me. I'll just have to be on my toes._

 _Maybe I'll have a chat with Shinra._

After Shizuo had calmed down, they had a rather pleasant lunch. The voicemail Shinra later received was much less pleasant.

"Hey, Shinra. My brother and his girlfriend told me Izaya's at your place. Oh, and his sisters, too. They asked me not to kill him. Tell him hello for me, will you? And to leave me the hell alone or I'll be breaking the promise to his sisters."

Shinra had ignored the call because he was out on a date with Celty. The only reason Celty had agreed to leave Izaya in the apartment was because Kyohei and his crew had volunteered to visit with him.

When Izaya answered the door, Kyohei was visibly startled by his physical state, and Izaya was surprised by the visit.

"Yo, Izaya." Kyohei waved and walked past him to allow the others in. Saburo, Walker and Erika squeezed past Izaya with waves and a nod from Saburo.

Izaya shut the door while Kyohei looked at him. "Man, you're still all banged up? Guess after all those years of chasing you, the frustration built up in Shizuo."

Erika giggled. Izaya glanced over at her, wondering why she found this amusing.

"So kind of you to check in on me, Kyohei. A pleasure to formally meet you …" He awaited introductions to the others as Kyohei helped him over to a recliner.

"Saburo."

"Walker Yumasaki, at your service!"

"Erika Karisawa." The girl giggled again. Izaya wondered if she had a crush on him, but noted she seemed friendly with Walker. Then again, she also seemed to glance furtively at Kyohei.

Once Izaya had settled into the recliner, he looked at the motley crew that squeezed onto the couch. Erika sat on Walker's lap since the couch only seated three.

"So Shinra told you I was in town?" Izaya asked. _Blabbermouth._ "Who else did he tell?"

Kyohei wasn't very good at hiding things. He broke eye contact and scratched his forehead. Izaya sighed.

"Pretty much everyone, then?"

The quartet shared furtive glances. It was obvious they didn't know what sort of conversation to make with Izaya. Other than Kyohei, who knew him, and despite the girl's smile, the others remained anxious.

"You can tell me. I can't do anything to you in this condition, right?"

Izaya would've once reveled in their apprehension and uncertainty. Now he was simply too tired to egg it on. He did feel a degree of amusement, however.

"Yeah. Everyone knows." Kyohei pulled his bandanna off, revealing the same shoulder-length hair smoothed away from his forehead. "Before you ask, I don't know if Shizuo does yet. We were keeping it from him until the timing was right."

Kyohei was surprisingly intuitive. Then again, it wasn't a surprise that Izaya would want to know about the status of the monster who'd broken him.

"What's changed in Ikebukuro since I left?"

"It's a lot more chill, I'll say that much," Kyohei said bluntly. "Partly due to your absence. There haven't been any slasher attacks, Celty's obviously almost back to her old self, and the Awakusu-kai keeps the gangs in check."

"Hm. That's boring." Izaya rested his chin in a white, bony hand. "Is Shizuo still destroying vending machines and road signs?"

"What? No more Shizu?" Erika wailed suddenly. Izaya wondered why she'd noticed the use of this nickname and bemoaned his failure to use it.

"He's still got the same temper, if that's what you mean. That'll never change," Kyohei answered, giving Erika a warning glance.

Izaya sighed. "Some things never do. In a way, that's a relief. I've changed enough for the both of us."

"You're certainly quiet," Kyohei agreed. The other three nodded. Clearly Kyohei was the leader of this motley crew. "Did he finally humble you?"

Izaya snickered derisively. "He crippled me. Being a cripple humbles you. I have no desire to see him. He'll be relived to hear this, I'm sure."

Kyohei arched his eyebrows. "You mean that? You always got some perverse glee out of fucking with Shizuo. Are you still doing the infobroker thing?"

Izaya shrugged. "Not currently."

The quartet didn't know what to believe. What they heard seemed to match what they saw. In fact, all of them in that instant were pitying Izaya, who'd once held so much power. He'd lost his joy, and in a weird way, Kyohei was concerned for him.

"Shit. I thought one day it'd come down to Shizuo killing you or you killing him. Not whatever this is. If this isn't a long con, Izaya, I actually feel bad for you."

Izaya realized in that instant that he was receiving something he'd wanted: feelings from others. First Shinra and Celty, and now Kyohei and his lackeys. Being strong hadn't gained him affection. Being weak did.

Izaya touched his forehead and sighed heavily. "Well, I feel bad myself. That brute broke both of my arms, several ribs, and bones in both legs. Then the Russian girl stabbed me – it's only thanks to Celty that I survived."

"You think Shizuo would've killed you if she hadn't intervened?" Kyohei asked.

Izaya had thought about that for a long time. He'd never come to a clear conclusion. "You'd have to ask him."

Erika touched her chest dramatically. "How heartbreaking! I was really hoping it was all just a lover's spat!"

Walker poked her in the ribs. Izaya locked gazes with her, challenging her to look away.

"In what world does one show love by attempting to murder someone?"

"Well, there's Saika!" Erika argued, boldly facing him. "She loved humans just like you! And I read a story a long time ago about this crazy murderer guy who was like a big hitman in New York. He had a fiancé, and he promised he'd be the one to kill her after he killed everyone else he wanted! In a weird way, it was really romantic!"

Izaya understood that, sadly. The ultimate possession of another person was to take their life. But it was a strange way of showing affection.

Izaya thought about it for a long time and wondered if he'd ever shown affection in a _normal_ way.

"Let me put it to you this way, Miss Karisawa; I didn't want to kill Shizuo because I loved him. In fact, he's the only person I _don't_ love. And he certainly didn't love me."

"But your hatred is so passionate it could easily be love!" Erika insisted. The three men were looking away and shaking their heads. "He's special to you because you hate him, right?"

Izaya was starting to feel a strange mix of amusement and irritation. "There's not a single thing I love about Shizuo Heiwajima. Truthfully, I don't even want to play with him anymore. I don't know why you're trying to convince me I've secretly been in love with him and just showed it by trying to kill him, but you can stop now."

The edge his voice had taken on was new for him. The quartet actually looked a little intimidated. Erika shrank back and swallowed while Walker patted her shoulder.

"Hey, she didn't mean anything by it. She's done now, right?" Kyohei looked at Erika intently. She nodded quickly.

"I do have to say," Kyohei ventured bravely, "that for claiming to love humans, you sure love messing with them. That's a weird way to show love too."

"Did you all just come here to attack me while I'm down?" Izaya challenged, squirming in his seat. His bones still faintly ached.

"I just wanted to check in on you, man," Kyohei insisted, raising his hands in front of him. "I feel obligated to, as one of your two sort-of friends."

Izaya knew Kyohei did, in his way, feel like he should look after Izaya. He was as much a father-type as Celty was a mother. He was what one would call a 'good guy.'

Izaya sighed. "Well, thanks for that. Now you've seen the once mighty tiger reduced to a common housecat licking its wounds. If you see Shizuo, do me a favor and tell him he has nothing to worry about. I'll do everything in my power to avoid him."

They were on the edge of believing him, and he didn't blame them for the 1% of doubt they had.

"And tell him he can believe in that 1% now."

"Huh? What's that mean?" Yumasaki asked. "Is that some sort of jargon that badasses use?"

"He'll know."

"Do you still hate him?" Kyohei asked. Izaya was puzzled by this question, because Kyohei wasn't one to dig into the nature of feelings and relationships.

"No. I fear him."

The words surprised Izaya, like they'd slipped out before he'd even thought them.

The others looked equally surprised.

Eventually Kyohei said, "Well, if you're really turning over a new leaf, it might do you some good to try to talk to some of the others you've wronged. Maybe they can help you out."

Erika nodded, her bravery rebounding. "I always thought you were cute, Iza Iza! And amusing, at least when you weren't being an ass to everyone."

"And sometimes you were amusing then, too," Yumasaki agreed.

Saburo was a silent man who seemed happy to remain in the background.

"That's kind of you to say," Izaya said quietly. "But I'm very tired. If you wouldn't mind helping me to the spare room, Kyohei, I'd like to take a nap."

Kyohei noticed that Izaya had dropped "Dotachin" as a nickname for him. Either he was pulling off an expert acting job, or Izaya had really been affected by Shizuo's attack on him.

In a strange way, it was a relief. But he also felt bad for thinking this. Izaya _was_ like an injured cat licking its wounds. Or a snake wriggling around without a head.

"Feel better, Iza Iza!" Erika said, bounding off of Walker. Walker bowed his head and followed, and Saburo gave a shallow tilt of his head.

Kyohei helped Izaya into the bed, surprised by the feeling of his bones under his sallow skin.

"Are you not eating well, Izaya?"

Izaya blew air through his lips, making a "pfft" sound. "I already heard that from Celty. Well, read it. Don't worry about it."

Kyohei pulled the blanket over Izaya. "Come to Simon's place with us one day. I'll treat you."

Izaya had never been invited to share food with anyone – at least not since he'd eaten lunch with Shinra in highschool. He looked up at Kyohei and thought, _He really is a good guy._

"Maybe I will once I feel better." He added, "Thank you."

"No prob." Kyohei walked away and tugged the door to a crack. "Should I lock up when I leave?"

"Only if you think Shizuo will rush over to kill me."

Kyohei thought about it.

"I'd better lock it. Is there a spare key?"

"Shinra said it's in his medical room with his tools."

"Okay. Get some rest."

Kyohei shut the door and Izaya waited until he heard the front door shut and the lock click in. Then he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. It had been a long first day back.


	3. Virtual Connections

_3\. Virtual Connections_

Shinra worked steadily with Izaya to get him walking again; this was physical progress at least. But Izaya wasn't progressing at all mentally; he never left the apartment, and it was starting to depress Shinra. His depression affected Celty, so together they tried to encourage Izaya to get back into the chat-room. Eventually, he caved, and Celty texted Akabayashi to see if they could monitor to make sure he wasn't contacting anyone he shouldn't be. Since Akabayashi had a handle in the chat-room, this was especially easy for him. Also, unknown to the others, was Namie's continued surveillance of the chat-room.

Chrome: Hi everyone! It's been a while! Who's around today?

Gaki: Don't think I remember you. Were you on here before?

Chrome: A long time ago! Sorry, I'm not sure I remember you either!

Saika: Hi, Chrome! Gaki came in a little while ago, so I don't blame you for not remembering him.

Bakyura: Hm, come to think of it, Kanra was gone for a while too~

Taro Tanaka: Well, that's okay! Welcome back, Chrome. Where did you go?

Chrome: I went on a little getaway. I feel refreshed now, but a little out of the loop. What's going on in Ikebukuro?

Gaki: Not much since the infobroker left town.

Bakyura: Yeah, good riddance!

Saika: Oh, but I feel bad for him … even if I don't like him. He got hurt pretty badly.

Kyo: Yeah, by Shizuo Heiwajima! He had to know it'd happen one day!

San: He was asking for it.

Izaya opened a conversation with whom he knew to be his two sisters in private mode.

Chrome: Mairu, Kururi, could you please refrain from mentioning him? You haven't even been by to see your poor injured brother yet!

Kyo: Sorry! He really messed you up, huh?

San: Poor brother.

Izaya returned to the general chat.

Chrome: Well, that's a pretty big event. What else has happened?

Taro Tanaka: Hm, well, everything's been pretty calm.

Saika: Nothing supernatural has really happened lately.

Bakyura: Hopefully it'll stay that way!

Kyo: I heard he came back though!

San: The infobroker?

Gaki: Everyone will have to be on their toes.

Bakyura: Nah. He'll have to be on his toes. Oh, wait – he can't walk, right? My bad.

Taro Tanaka: Bakyura! It's not nice to make fun of someone's injuries.

Bakyura: Yeah? Well I know he's gotten plenty of people injured, so I say it's just desserts.

Kyo: The Russian assassin came back, too!

Chrome: Really? What for?

San: To work for Tom and Shi – whoops.

Saika: ? Shi?

San: Never mind!

Gaki: Well, that sounds like trouble. Didn't she try to kill Orihara? She would've dealt the fatal blow, not Heiwajima.

Taro Tanaka: Shizuo's never killed anyone.

Chrome: He's still pretty bad. He destroys almost everything he touches. A leaf falling on his head would make him erupt like a volcano.

Bakyura: Yeah. I guess he hasn't changed too much, even with that asshole gone.

Gaki: Let's hope he doesn't get even more pissed off when he finds out the guy's back.

Kyo: Shizuo just came back from the beach!

San: He's as red as a lobster.

Kyo: He already knows Izaya's back, I heard. He told him … hmm … to say hello and stay away?

Izaya expanded the private mode window.

Chrome: What did I say? Stop talking about him!

San: Sorry. Everyone else was.

Kyo: Are you gonna leave him alone, brother?

Chrome: He has nothing to worry about. Where'd you hear all of this anyways?

Kyo: Oh, just around ^_^

Chrome: How'd you even know I was back? Shinra?

San: Word gets around quickly.

Kyo: Just desserts, eh, Brother?

Chrome: You two haven't changed. You should come visit me at Shinra's.

Kyo: You want to see us? Man, you really HAVE changed! :p

San: Maybe you should come out to lunch with us.

Kyo: Yeah, we hear you're a bigger introvert than normal.

Chrome: If you had as many bones broken as I did, sisters, you'd be introverted too~

He returned to the regular chat when he saw someone new had entered.

Taiyo: Yo Im new here. Whats up?

Chrome: Welcome! I just returned to the chat room. Who referred you here?

Taiyo: Setton.

Saika: Hello, Taiyo! Setton is a good friend of mine ^_^

Kyo: Taiyo, huh? You must really like sunbathing!

Taiyo: Yeah I like relaxing. What are you all into? This is general chat right?

Taro Tanaka: Yep! We just talk about whatever's on our minds.

Bakyura: The earlier conversation was about Izaya Orihara's return to Ikebukuro.

Taiyo: fgtrhthhhhtttt

Gaki: What was that?

San: They must be new at typing.

Saika: It's okay, Taiyo. I can only type with hiragana.

Taro Tanaka: Do you know of Orihara? Everyone's saying he's different now.

Bakyura: Yeah, that he's a cripple.

Kyo: He's really quiet now!

San: And not infobroking anymore.

Gaki: He hasn't even contacted the Yakuza.

Taiyo: Sorry. I broke a key. I know of him. Everyone does right? Hes had a hand in everything that happened in this city.

Chrome: It's really sad that he's changed, honestly. That Heiwajima guy must've really messed him up. What a monster!

Taiyo: Izaya had it coming. He said he loved humans but all he ever did was **** with them. The ****? These kind of words get censored?

Chrome: It's a public chat, after all.

Izaya thought to himself that this Taiyo person had terrible grammar. He almost wondered if it was Shizuo, but he knew Shizuo had a strong distaste for anything electronic as he often broke it and didn't understand how it worked to begin with. Which was why he broke it. A vicious cycle. He wondered which phone Shizuo was on now. The fiftieth or so?

Bakyura: It sucks, right?

Taiyo: So everyones anonymous here or anyone know the real people behind the handles?

Chrome: Well, the point of the room is anonymity. But there's private chat mode if you want to talk to anyone alone.

Taiyo: Settonll have to tell me how. Is she on here?

Saika: Not today. I think she's busy.

Izaya knew she was relaxing with Shinra, playing a fighting game with him. She was currently on a winning streak of 20+ matches, but Shinra was too in awe to be agitated at his constant losses.

Chrome: Taiyo, I can initiate a private chat if you want me to help you ^_^

Taiyo: Sure.

Izaya targeted Taiyo and clicked the option for the chat window. He was curious who this new person was and wanted a better read on them. He was still picturing Shizuo in the back of his mind, but this mental image always ended in a broken computer screen or keyboard so he couldn't take it seriously.

Taiyo: Its blinking at me. What do I click?

Chrome: Just hit 'accept' on the window. A new tab should pop open.

Taiyo: I think I hit it too much. I clicked it once and it didnt do anything so I got impatient and clicked it a bunch. Now it keeps popping open.

Kyo: Haha, you're really a chat virgin, huh?

San: That's inappropriate, Kyo ;)

Taiyo finally popped up in private mode with Izaya.

Chrome: It's just you and me now, Taiyo! You can type in both windows if you want, but make sure you don't type the wrong thing in the wrong box ;-P

Taiyo: Thanks. Those people are kinda weird. How often do you guys talk on here?

Chrome: Oh, just whenever we have time. It's a fun way to pass the hours.

Taiyo: You talk on here for HOURS?

Chrome: Sure!

Taiyo: Doesnt it get boring?

Chrome: Well, sometimes. It depends who's on.

Taiyo: What do you like to talk about on here?

Chrome: Gossip, mostly. Setton does too. What are you on here for?

Taiyo: Setton said it was a good place to make new friends. Seems alright so far. Guess its okay if youre weird online.

Chrome: Exactly! You can say whatever you want on here! If you don't like someone you can block them!

Taiyo: Block? Like karate?

Chrome: Haha! No. Hopefully you won't block me, though ;)

Taiyo: Youre okay. No offense. I just dont know you that well yet. You in high school?

Chrome: Nope! I graduated a while ago.

Taiyo: Arent you a bit old to be on here then?

Chrome: Well, what about you?

Taiyo: Im out of school, too. But I guess we shouldnt say too much about ourselves until we know one another better.

 _This really might be Shizuo … this horrid grammar and the short sentences … but no. No way Shizuo would be chatting on a computer._

Chrome: Well, that's how you GET to know one another better, silly Taiyo! :p

Taiyo: What are those face things you keep doing?

Chrome: They're emojis! Like on your phone. You have one, right?

Taiyo: Yeah but I dont use it much. Im not too social.

Chrome: Well, I'll be your friend!

Taiyo: Are you a girl?

Chrome: Why do you ask, silly? Wanna know if I'm cute? =^.^=

Taiyo: You write like one is all. Whats that face?

Chrome: I'm a kitty. Nya!

Taiyo: ? A cat cant type.

Chrome: Oh, Taiyo, you're so literal! You must be a guy!

If this was Shizuo, his virtual persona was much more patient than the real thing. But Izaya wasn't a cute girl, so he supposed everyone could be different online. Maybe Shizuo could be patient in the virtual world.

Still, SHIZUO? Wasting time typing to a screen with those powerful, indelicate fingers? Izaya laughed out loud, causing both Shinra and Celty to turn their heads to look at him. Celty hadn't heard him laugh since he'd arrived.

Taiyo: Yeah. Sorry. Im kinda shy I guess.

Chrome: No worries. I think it's cute =^_^=

Taiyo: Really? I dont know what to say to that.

Chrome: Are you embarrassed?

Taiyo: A little.

Chrome: Why? Don't like me? ;_;

Taiyo: Its not that. Im just not used to being told Im cute.

Chrome: That's a shame! Are you good-looking? I'll bet you are!

Taiyo: I dunno. Im not bad I guess.

Chrome: I'll bet you're tall and strong. You seem like a big ol' manly man.

Taiyo: Im actually kinda skinny. But I guess Im tall.

Chrome: Well, I'm slender and petite, so we'd go well together!

Taiyo: Im not …, I dont have much experience with women.

Chrome: Really? That's a shame! What's your type?

Taiyo: Uh Im not really comfortable talking about that.

Chrome: Don't be shy! I won't judge!

Taiyo: … Lets talk about something else.

Izaya decided to pretend it was Shizuo. The urge to push his buttons returned, reinvigorated by the safe distance the computer provided.

Chrome: Ooookay. Hm. Well, I like a tall, strong man, and I guess since I'm outgoing I like someone who's shy ;) I like light eyes and fine bone structure, and a nice, deep voice. Also, a man who knows how to dress well is super sexy!

Taiyo: Wow. Youre really forward.

Chrome: Guilty! :-J You don't like it?

Taiyo: Uh Im just not used to it.

Meanwhile, Gaki, who was surveilling this private chat, was privately chatting with Saika, Bakyura, and Taro Tanaka.

Gaki: So, they're getting along surprisingly well in chat.

Saika: Really? That's great!

Taro Tanaka: Celty said Mr. Tanaka, the real one, is monitoring Shizuo to make sure he doesn't type anything too revealing.

Gaki: Ah, if he does, I'll just delete it before Izaya reads it. Akane's my eyes when I'm not around. She'll just use this chat handle.

Saika: I can't picture Mr. Shizuo typing on a computer :-O He must look really funny!

Bakyura: He'll end up destroying the computer before long, or at least the keyboard! I thought we lost him when Izaya was mentioned.

Bakyura: Soooo what kinda stuff are they talking about?

Gaki: Well, Izaya's playing it off like he's a cute girl. And Shizuo's getting flustered by the directness.

Bakyura: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Saika: R-really? Wow …

Taro Tanaka: It's just like Kanra all over again …

Bakyura: He sure likes being a woman. Makes you wonder …

Saika: If he's …?

Gaki: Izaya just likes pretending. Especially now that he's so down. And Shizuo sounds just like I'd imagine the guy to sound, so it's kinda surprising Izaya hasn't caught onto it.

Taro Tanaka: Maybe he knows, deep-down, or he's just messing with Shizuo again.

Bakyura: Copy and paste that **** for us, Gaki! I'm dying to read it ahahaha!

Gaki: Well now, I'm supposed to be monitoring Izaya, right? You all figure out how to hack into Shizuo's computer and you can read it all you like ^_^

Bakyura: Pfft. You're no fun.

In the meantime, Celty and Shinra paused their gaming session to check in with Izaya. He was sitting at their computer with a headset on, completely into his conversation. He was typing furiously, his skill with a keyboard on par with Celty's on a phone keypad.

"He's really into it. Is he on private mode with Shizuo?" Shinra whispered. Celty glanced over, quite familiar with the layout of the chat app and the icons of her fellow users.

[Seems to be. I can't really make out what they're saying, but I heard Izaya laugh!]

"I always suspected they might get along if they didn't know they were talking to each other," Shinra mused with a self-satisfied smile.

Celty held her finger up to her helmet to mime "shush!"

[Careful! He might be able to hear you!]

Shinra scratched his head. "Sorry, Celty. Let's let him be and enjoy our private time, okay?" He grabbed her arms. "It's been a while since we-"

[Not while Izaya is here!]

Shinra sighed, defeated. "Then I'll work even harder to make him better both inside and out! Anything for private, naughty times with my Celty!"

Celty shook her head. [As long as you're motivated. Let's just trust our friends for now. They'll make sure this doesn't make things worse between Izaya and Shizuo.]

Shinra and Celty returned to the couch and their virtual sparring while Izaya and Shizuo continued their virtual bonding.

Chrome: You're really refreshing, Taiyo! You're so straight-forward!

Taiyo: Youre really straightforward too. I don't really know how to handle it. Actually I think you might be mistaking my shyness for straightforwardness. Is that a word?

Chrome: I'm not sure :-O But I know I haven't enjoyed talking to someone like this for a while, so keep making me smile, okay? ^_^

Taiyo: Uh…sure. I really make you smile?

Chrome: You're so sweet and cute, how could you not? I sure hope one day I'll see your face. I'll bet you have a wonderful smile and gentle eyes.

Taiyo: Huh, I dunno. But I dunno bout meeting anytime soon. I just met you and I didnt even really meet you. Lets just talk on here for a bit. I gotta go, my fingers hurt because Im not used to typing this much. But Ill be back on later and Ill make sure to talk to you if I see you okay?

Chrome: You're leaving? Aw, boo! I had a blast chatting with you! Really quick – tell me, do you like dogs or cats?

Taiyo: What kinda question is that?

Chrome: For compatibility, silly :-P

Taiyo: Uh … I like both unless they bite or scratch me. But my –

Akabyashi quickly deleted the rest of that message, which contained information about Kasuka and Dokusonmaru. Shizuo got a message that said "message undeliverable" every time he tried to send it. Eventually he got so aggravated he typed a bunch of random characters, which was what Izaya ended up seeing.

Taiyo: GTTHNY# %T%UYJ

Chrome: Huh? Problems with your fingers again?

Taiyo: STUPID THING WASN'T LETTING ME SEND MY MESSAGE!

Chrome: I think you accidentally turned caps lock on.

Taiyo: WHATS THAT?

Chrome: The button on the left of your keyboard. You really are new to this, huh? Cute!

Taiyo: IM NOT oh I found it. Anyways I like my-

Akabayashi deleted this reference too. Shizuo was so aggravated he almost punched the screen in, but Tom was nearby and had eased over to help him before he ruined the laptop (he'd refused to type in front of Tom, so Tom had relied on Akabayashi to prevent Shizuo from revealing his identity.)

"What's up, pal?"

"THIS STUPID THING WON'T LET ME SEND A MESSAGE!" Shizuo pointed at the computer like it was a child that had stolen his milk money.

 _Caps-lock really does suit his voice,_ Tom thought. He'd managed to catch that bit of the conversation.

"Well, just say good-bye to your new friend and let's restart it, okay? Maybe it's laggy." Tom started leaning in to type a reply, but Shizuo covered the screen with his hand.

"This is private mode, Tom! You can't read it!"

Tom detected a slight deepening of red in Shizuo's already sunburned cheeks. Was he really …? He was embarrassed! He was actually enjoying himself – that was why he was so mad at the error messages!

Tom chuckled inwardly. Shizuo was enjoying a conversation with Izaya Orihara and didn't even know it. He'd have to check the log history and read it for himself.

"I just dunno why every time I try to type Kasuka or Dokusonmaru's names it freezes up," Shizuo commented with a scratch to his head. "I mean, it's literally EVERY time I try to type one of those two names."

Tom fumbled for an explanation. "Maybe the computer can't handle those characters? Or those words are banned in the chat room for some reason."

"It's stupid," Shizuo fussed. "Now go away while I say good-bye to Chrome. Then you can do whatever you want to the thing."

Tom waved a hand and walked away, leaving Shizuo in the privacy of the booth at Russia Sushi. He walked up to the bar and gestured to Simon and Dennis.

"It's working!" He whispered as they leaned in, one holding a knife and the other wiping a dish. "He doesn't want to get off the computer!"

Simon flashed his teeth in a dazzling smile that would've terrified any animal other than a human. "Connection good! Make people happy! Even Shizuo!"

"I just can't believe he hasn't broken it yet," Dennis whispered, eyeing Shizuo's silhouette as he typed slowly, one key at a time, with one hand.

"Oh, he broke two keys, but it's an easy fix." Tom shrugged. "If it's a step towards fixing a relationship _that_ broken, a few keys is nothing in the long run."

"We must keep Shizuo from think Izaya fooling him on purpose when find out," Vorona added from the bar, where she sat on her break. Tom had forcibly removed her from the booth in order to let Shizuo feel confident enough to get on the computer. He hadn't wanted to embarrass himself in front of his protégé with his technical inexperience.

She swigged back her drink and added, "Of course, Izaya maybe know is Shizuo. Maybe is fooling. In which case, I break his arms again and never type such things to people again."

"Izaya humbled!" Simon insisted. "Broken man not break others." He stopped when the screen to Shizuo and Tom's booth slid open.

"Simon, did I hear you say something?" Shizuo asked, his fingers tearing through the paper screen.

Simon blinked, then started frantically waving his knife in the air. Dennis and Tom ducked back while Vorona watched with interest. "Is … a fly, uh!" He sliced at the air. "Shoo, fly! Uh! Uh!"

Shizuo's eyes swept over to Dennis. "He always make such weird noises when he's trying to kill a fly with a sushi knife?"

Dennis nodded. "It's a Russian thing. Right, Vorona?"

Vorona started to shake her head for no.

"Russians also shake their head 'no' for 'yes'," Dennis added when Shizuo was visibly puzzled by her instinctive denial.

"Sorry, Shizuo," Vorona said once she caught her desire to correct Simon and Dennis's purposeful misinformation. "In Russia, fly very bad. Cannot insure death with spatula, so slice with knife. Is Russian way."

"Wow," Shizuo muttered, releasing the sliding door. "They really take pest control seriously there."

Tom exhaled, relieved Shizuo was so gullible at times. He smiled at Vorona's humorless face. Sometimes her monotone voice served her well.

"I'm done with your computer, Tom. Go ahead and fix it so the next time I use it it doesn't keep giving me that error message."

Shizuo sat next to Vorona at the bar and Dennis got him a milk with a straw. Shizuo gazed into space thoughtfully while Tom took care of the computer. Simon gave up on the "fly" and went to tidy up the booth.

"Boss is thoughtful," Vorona observed. "What are thoughts full of, if might ask?"

"Hm?" Shizuo snapped out of his daze. "Oh. Sorry. Was I zoning out?"

Vorona grabbed her knees under the bar. "Shizuo is thinking of Russian customs still?"

Shizuo shook his head, smiling at her with the patience normally reserved for a child.

"Nah. I'm just thinking … if I'm good-looking."

Vorona's cheeks flushed. "Shizuo is very good-looking! Uh, in traditional way. As in, many women find Shizuo's looks appealing. Face is very symmetrical. Features are pleasant. Body is fit and firm. Height is good!"

"Gee, thanks, Vorona." In truth, Shizuo wasn't sure this was a compliment, but she seemed so flustered he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "You think … do women just say things like that?"

"No!" Vorona shook her head. "Why think these things? Did Shizuo talk to woman lately?"

Shizuo rested his elbows on the bar and leaned his chin into his hands. He sighed. "Someone told me things I don't hear a lot. I just didn't know what to make of them. If I should believe them or not."

Vorona wasn't sure he should believe whatever Izaya had typed. Especially if he was pretending to be a woman! But the goal of Celty's mission was to make things better between Shizuo and Izaya, and Vorona wouldn't fail her mission. There was a slight, nagging aggravation that Izaya had made such an impression on Shizuo, however, even if it WAS as a woman on a computer.

"If say nice things about Shizuo, is true. You should believe." Vorona chugged the rest of her drink. "Does Shizuo like person who say these things?"

The flush Tom had observed returned to Shizuo's cheeks. "I dunno. I guess. I mean, I'd like to talk to her more … at least, I THINK it's a girl." He shrugged. "No kinda guy would talk like that, at least."

"Would Shizuo like if guy say these things to him?" Vorona asked, curious if he was interested in this gender too. Her childlike curiosity gave her a pass many others would not have received from Shizuo.

"Well, as long as they're nice, it's cool I guess." He tilted his head in his hands. "I dunno what kinda guy describes himself as petite and slender … but I wouldn't be into a macho guy talking to me like that, anyway."

Vorona didn't have an emotional grasp on sexuality. Everything she knew about gender and sexuality had been learned from textbooks. "Shizuo … hmm … how to say? Not limit to one gender?"

"Huh?" He asked, snapping his face towards hers.

She placed a finger to her mouth. "Perhaps to phrase better … Shizuo like man as well as lady, or perhaps simply man?"

Dennis stopped what he was doing and stared at the two. Tom and Simon poked their heads out of the booth and watched as well, baffled by the subject Vorona had just dived into.

"What do you mean _I like men_?" The vein in his temple popped out as he clenched his jaw.

"Ugh … language is failing me. You would love man, or woman, or both?"

"I love anyone who loves me," Shizuo said bluntly. "I love my family and my friends. Anyone else can fuck off."

"Romantic love," Vorona clarified with a smack of her fist into her open palm. She'd finally figured out how to phrase what she wanted to know.

"I've never had that," Shizuo admitted with a deepening flush. "And I don't feel like discussing my lack of a love life in front of the staff of Russia Sushi, or anyone else for that matter."

"Does not answer question!" Vorona argued, grabbing Shizuo's shoulder. The other three held their breath, worried for Vorona (and in Simon and Dennis's case, the restaurant). "Would Shizuo romance man and woman, or only one?"

"Of course only one!" Shizuo argued. "Damn, Vorona! What's with these questions all of a sudden?"

"I'm trying to help Shizuo!" Vorona argued, not afraid of him the way the others were. "The way Shizuo help me! Help me to know you, and I help you! Is Shizuo attracted to romantic love with man and woman?"

"I don't need YOUR HELP!" Shizuo's voice crescendoed into a yell and he stood up from the bar, though he didn't break anything. Vorona didn't flinch, but she did hold her breath as he glared at her. "You're confusing me more than anything, so I'm gonna leave before I get pissed off!"

He stalked out of Russia Sushi with his shoulders up high and his fists balled. He looked somewhat like a threatened gorilla.

Tom walked over to Vorona and occupied the seat Shizuo had vacated. "Hey, you okay?"

"I not understand," Vorona said quietly, watching the door as it shuddered in Shizuo's wake. "I ask question to learn and help Shizuo, but he refuse help. Also, he's angered by questions."

Tom placed a tentative hand on her slight shoulder. "You know how he gets. He's just really shy because, at least as long as I've known him, he's never dated anyone. I think he's scared to."

"Shizuo's … scared?"

"He's scared he'll hurt them. Physically." Tom sighed. "His strength is something people both respect and fear. He needs someone who won't be frightened by him, who accepts him as he is."

"I accept Shizuo," Vorona said without hesitation. "I want Shizuo to be happy."

Tom was all too aware of the childlike fascination she had for Shizuo, and the way she admired him. It was similar to Akane's affection for him. The guy was probably more loved than he knew.

Tom was also aware that Shizuo didn't harbor romantic feelings for Vorona. He was an ethical man, and he thought of her as a professional protégé and wouldn't cross that line with her. She was almost like a little sister to him.

In fact, the only woman Shizuo ever talked about was a pretty store owner he'd had a crush on as a kid. He would only shrug and offer half-hearted agreements whenever Tom would try to comment on an attractive woman.

Shizuo had varying degrees of passion whenever certain names were mentioned. Most of the time he was indifferent, or annoyed if he didn't recognize the name of someone he'd met. The names Celty, Shinra, Vorona, Simon, Mairu, Kururi and Kyohei made him pay attention. Probably Tom's own name, too. But Kasuka and Izaya made him ready to punch in the face of the mouth that said either name.

 _Love is the fruitful harmonization of affection and passion_ , Tom had once read.

He repeated this to Vorona in the hopes she'd understand Shizuo's affections for her.

"Is Mister Tom professing love to me?" she asked, her eyes widening slightly. They were a beautiful icy blue. She was exotic to Tom, but also undeniably childlike for that voluptuous body and steely demeanor.

"N-no!" Tom scratched at the back of his neck, flustered. Vorona relaxed, though he couldn't tell why she was relieved. "I'm just saying … Shizuo has affection for you as an underling and a coworker, maybe even as a sister, but the passion's just not there for him. So don't get your hopes up."

"I not know what you imply," Vorona insisted, folding her arms. She pouted adorably. "I hope for nothing. I only say that I regard Shizuo with kind feelings, not fear, and he should know this."

"I agree. Shizuo needs to know how much his friends care about him." Tom met Vorona's icy blue gaze with warmth. "Sometimes he doesn't respond well to words. So we show him. And helping to smooth things over with Izaya will make his life so much more peaceful, right?"

Vorona's resolve melted with the effort of Tom's words. "Very well, Mister Tom. You are wise. I shall listen to your advisement."

Tom sighed. "Vorona, you've gotta drop this 'mister' stuff. It makes me feel really old. I know I'm almost thirty, but I'm not _that_ much older than you."

"Mister Tom does not desire respect?"

"Uh, well, I want you to think of me as your equal," Tom clarified. He leaned in closer to her. "Don't shy away; I'm going to whisper something into your ear."

Vorona tensed but awaited his approach.

"I get embarrassed in front of these guys, you see. Also, I'm really sorry I hit on you so awkwardly when we first met."

His attempt at an apology fell on a working ear that might as well have been deaf. "Tom not hit me. No need for apology."

 _Ah, well. I tried. At least she dropped the 'mister.'_

"Anyway, Vorona, leave the questions for Kasuka. Shizuo likes you, but that's the angriest I ever saw him get at you."

"Subject makes him sore," Vorona observed, sliding a thumb under her chin. It reminded Tom of something an erudite old man might do, but she made it charming. "I shall avoid. But perhaps I touch on something. Mister Shizuo not know whether he like girl or boy, or both, or maybe neither. Is such thing as asexual."

"Yeah, well, even if he did know, he might not tell us." Tom looked at Simon, who'd returned behind the bar with Dennis. "Simon, you really think this whole thing is a good idea?"

Simon clapped his hands with his customary enthusiasm. "Da! Introspection good for the soul! Find problems and fix them! Find positives and accentuate them! Shizuo and Izaya need to introspect, and we help them! Then they perhaps look at each other anew."

Tom pressed his hands together and shut his eyes. "Let's all pray for a miracle."

Simon and Dennis mirrored him somberly. Vorona recalled a few times as a child in church where she'd seen everyone pray like this. She hadn't understood what they were doing, but they all seemed so serious about it she'd done the same. But to her, pressing her hands together and shutting her eyes meant nothing.

"God, I know I bet against it, but I'm asking you for a reconciliation. It's in everyone's best interests, so this isn't a selfish request. Let Ikebukuro remain peaceful for once, and maybe give Shizuo the peace he's looking for."

"And give Izaya new purpose," Simon added. "Purpose not harmful to others. Maybe helpful, if not asking too much."

"As much as Simon dragging them into the restaurant to break up their fights added to our business, I'd rather they come here together on more friendly excursions. Happier customers have bigger bills, after all." Dennis opened one eye and met Tom's open eye. Tom shook his head, but he smirked.

"I am not religious person," Vorona spoke up, "nor am I certain in existence of God or higher power. But if exists, please give Shizuo all love and happiness he desires and deserves."

"Amen, our friends' happiness is our own," Tom said when the others had opened their eyes. "So far, so good, all things considered. Now, since Shizuo's stormed off, will you help me finish the day's work, Vorona?"

Vorona nodded, and the two bid Simon and Dennis good-bye.

As they walked out, Simon followed after them waving a slip of paper. "You forget to pay bill, Mister Tom! Is ironic for debt collector to accumulate debt!"

Tom hurried off with Vorona at his heels.


	4. Progress and Parties

**4\. Progress and Parties**

Celty had gathered the crew for an update. Each group had appointed a representative for the meeting, so for this meeting, Mairu, Tom, Anri, Akabayashi, Namie, and Kyohei had gathered. Since Izaya was at Celty's, she had met the others at Anri's place while Shinra kept him distracted.

She hoisted up the dry-erase board and wrote a greeting on it.

 **[Thanks for showing up, everyone. How is everything going?]**

"Well, Hollywood met with Shizuo and told him Izaya was in town. He broke a glass and scared a bunch of owls and a waiter, but it went pretty well all things considered." Mairu tilted her head, a cheerful smile on her face.

"Owls?" Anri asked.

"Ikefukurou," Akabayashi answered with a grin. "It's like a cat café but with owls. It's the new fad."

"Izaya seems different," Kyohei said. "He's really subdued. When Erika opened her big mouth about Shizuo, he said he feared him now. Whatever happened in that fight, it changed something. Dunno if it's for better or worse yet."

 **[I've noticed this too,]** Celty wrote **. [Since he lives with Shinra and I, I have had a lot of time to watch him. It's been a week, and he hasn't left the apartment. He finally got on the computer though. Has he been up to any of his old tricks?]**

"He hasn't been in touch with me," Namie denied with a swift shake of her head. "And I've heard nothing about him other than what you've all told me."

"The only things he does online are use the chat room and read the news," Akabayashi said. "But he's gotten back into the chat thing with gusto."

Anri nodded. "He's talking to all of us as Chrome now. He seems to have saved Kanra only as an admin user."

"That was fun to watch," Tom added, shaking his head. "At least on my end. Trying to talk Shizuo through creating a profile and even how to maneuver the keypad and mouse has been a challenge. He's still used to the mouse from school and has issues with the touchpad, and he still types with one finger on one hand. It's like watching a turtle type with its nose. Hell, it'd probably be faster."

 **[But Shizuo has no idea he's talking to Izaya, and vice-versa?]**

"Doesn't seem to," Tom answered. "He's a little flustered because Izaya's pretending to be a chick who's really forward."

"Izaya might know it's him," Namie said. "But he's playing nice so far. If he has an angle remains to be seen."

"I gotta ask, since I'm relatively new to the chat," Akabayashi spoke up, "does Izaya always use that persona?"

"Yes," Anri nodded, "he seems to enjoy posing as a cute girl."

 **[Weird, I know, but as long as it's harmless. How are we going to keep Shizuo from finding out Izaya's Chrome? If he does, it'll make things even worse!]**

"Keep Izaya from finding out Taiyo is Shizuo," Namie answered. "We'll feed him false information. Maybe Akabayashi or I can imply Taiyo is another person."

"Akane's into RP," Akabayashi said. "She'd be good at that. Maybe we can hack into Shizuo's user account and chat with Izaya that way."

 **[Smart thinking. As long as they're happy talking to each other when they really do talk, it'll keep them happier in real life. First things first, how do I get Izaya out of my apartment? I can't have him there 24/7! Shinra and I need a break!]**

"I offered to take him to Russia Sushi with the gang," Kyohei informed them.

"We could throw him a hotpot party there!" Mairu suggested cheerily. "He loves attention! How could he say no?"

"It would be a scenario ripe with human interaction," Namie said thoughtfully. "He'd be remiss to pass that up."

"It's too soon to bring Shizuo anywhere near him," Tom interjected before the question could be asked. "First you guys work on getting him to open up. I'll work on Shizuo with Kasuka and my crew."

"So let's have _two_ parties!" Mairu suggested. "At the same time, so there's no way they'll meet up! While Izaya's out of the apartment, let's have Shizuo over to Celty's. The suggestion of Izaya will help him get used to his presence in the city, like a dog smelling another dog in its territory."

"I'll have my crew take Izaya to Russia Sushi," Kyohei agreed. "Namie, you should come with Seiiji and Mika, too."

"It'll be a joyous thing to see that smug pig covered in mud," Namie agreed, in her fashion. She seemed all too pleased by Izaya's humbled position.

 **[Shinra will hate it, but I'll send him with Izaya as a literal and metaphorical crutch. I'll stay here and assess Shizuo.]**

"I'll go to the hotpot with Izaya," Anri offered. "I'll bring Mikado, and Masaomi, and Rochi might enjoy seeing Izaya humbled the same way Miss Namie will."

"And I'll bring Miss Akane to the party with Shizuo," Akabayashi suggested. "She can get a good read on Shizuo for her RP fodder. Plus, she jumps at any chance she can get to spend time with him."

"We'll go to the shindig for our brother," Mairu said. "But Kasuka and Ruri should be with Shizuo to keep working on him."

"Simon and Dennis will be at the restaurant, but I'll bring Vorona to Shizuo's thing," Tom added. The thought brightened his face and Celty's metaphorical heart.

 **[So, let's set a date for this Saturday if it works for everyone. 7 PM, my place: myself, Shizuo, Tom, Vorona, Akane, Akabayashi, Ruri and Kasuka. And Izaya will get a nice big get-together at Russia Sushi, Saturday at 7 PM. Simon and Dennis will be pleased with the profits. And for that we have Izaya, Shinra, Kyohei, Erika, Walker … Van Guy, Anri, Masaomi, Mikado, Rochi, Seiiji, Mika, Namie, Mairu and Kururi. Am I forgetting anyone?]**

"What about Shingen and his wife?" Namie asked, about as fond of Shingen as Celty was.

 **[Ugh. I only included them because of Shinra. The less involved they are, the better. I don't really know what value they add, anyway.]**

"Agreed." Namie nodded forcefully.

"Welp," Kyohei cracked his knuckles, "guess we oughtta get workin' on those invites."

The rest of the get-together was spent sending texts and making a checklist to insure all invitations were sent properly. Celty was looking forward to having a break from Izaya.

When she returned to the apartment and informed Shinra of the plan, he bemoaned a night apart from her. But she told him it was all in the interest of securing privacy for themselves later, and he couldn't argue with this logic.

Thus the party plans were set into place, and they went about their day with a feeling of purpose and anticipation.

 **Saturday, 7PM, Celty and Shinra's apartment.**

After assuring Shizuo that Izaya was out of the apartment, Celty had convinced him to attend the get-together. Its purpose, she claimed, was to celebrate Vorona's return from Russia.

"I had no idea you two were tight," had been Shizuo's surprised response. Followed by a logical observation (for him): "Isn't it a bit late for that?"

Vorona had returned two weeks before Izaya had. Celty had quickly explained that it was simply the first time everyone had been able to meet-up since then. Shizuo had dropped it after one last text: "You're sure Izaya's gone for the evening? What's he up to?"

Celty had insisted Izaya was gone and that Shizuo should trust her. He couldn't argue that, and she felt slightly guilty for involving him in this complex scheme.

She hoped he'd thank her later. Or at least not hold it over her head. Well, her _metaphorical_ head.

At any rate, she'd shaped her shadow into a little black party dress and set about making finger foods for the get-together. She'd done a little research into Russian cuisine for the sake of appearances. She'd made things like smoked salmon, borscht, dumplings, and she'd filled the bar with the ingredients for White Russians and Moscow Mules.

When her guests arrived, they were impressed by this assortment of delicacies. Vorona, especially, was appreciative of the nostalgic dishes. Shizuo was convinced to drink a White Russian by Tom, since he knew Shizuo loved milk and sweets. Akabayashi drank several Moscow Mules within the first half hour, and Kasuka had a drink or two. The ladies abstained but ate heartily.

Celty was pleased to have an apartment filled with good friends and good food, and was especially happy to have a break from Izaya's moping. He hogged the TV and laptop, and Celty had several episodes of her unexplained phenomena program to catch up on.

Still, she missed Shinra. She doubted she missed him as much as he was missing her, but that was nigh impossible.

"Smells like cheap cologne in here," Shizuo said after his third White Russian. He was sprawled out on the floor with Tom, Vorona, Kasuka and Akabayashi. Ruri, Akane and Celty sat on the couch and chatted amongst themselves while the men drank and Vorona observed with interest.

"Hey man, I'm not to blame for the cologne you buy," Tom said with a wave of his hand.

"I bought his cologne," Kasuka said. "It's definitely not cheap."

Shizuo waved his hand carelessly. "It's not mine I'm smellin'. It's the flea's. Celty, you got any room freshener or somethin'?"

Celty noted with dismay that Shizuo was inebriated. His tolerance was surprisingly low, but he might have been fooled by the sweet taste of the White Russians.

She typed a reply for Kasuka to read. [I'll rummage something up. Does it really bother you that much? I don't even smell it.]

"You wouldn't," Shizuo said with a snort. "Can you even smell? You don't eat, right? But somehow you see and hear."

[I can smell, sure. But I've never noticed Izaya's so-called cologne. I'm surprised you're so familiar with it.]

"Tcch. I've had about a decade's worth of familiarizing myself with the essence of that filth. If you had someone terrorizing you that often, you would have too, Celty." Shizuo wobbled to an unsteady stand that frightened Tom (and, not as obviously, Kasuka). "I need to take a piss. Bathroom?"

Shizuo's inelegant speech scandalized Ruri and Akane, who looked on him with wide eyes. Akabayashi snickered, while Vorona blinked, unfamiliar with the term. Tom simply shook his head.

Kasuka stood and held his brother's elbow, steadying him. "Miss Celty, where can I escort him?"

Celty gestured to the guest room, which had an adjoining bath. Kasuka bowed his head and guided Shizuo into the room.

"Ugh," Shizuo muttered, pinching his nose, "smells even stronger in here." He stumbled over something and cursed. "What the hell?"

"Seems to be a wheelchair," Kasuka noted.

"This where he's been sleeping? No wonder it stinks in here." Shiuzo stubbed his toe on something and cursed again. In the living room, everyone was wondering what was going on. "OW! WHAT NOW? Slob!"

"Crutches," Kasuka answered for him.

Shizuo flopped onto the bed and clutched his foot. Kasuka doubted it hurt all that much, but he did wonder if alcohol affected Shizuo's pain tolerance.

"Shit. Unless he's lugged all this along as part of some ruse, he's really fucked up."

"If it was a ruse, what do you think his eventual aim would be?" Kasuka questioned, trying to dig into his brother's mind and understanding of Izaya.

"He just likes messing with people, me especially. Probably trying to guilt trip me for what happened before he fled." Shizuo flopped onto the bed, his head hanging over the edge. From his upside-down vantage, he discerned a chair with a fuzzy edge. He reached out and grasped at it but was unable to grab it.

"Whassat, Kasuka?"

Kasuka sighed gently and went over to the chair. "It's Izaya's coat."

Shizuo snatched it from the chair and inhaled the fabric. "Yup. Stinks like him." He noticed something and slid a finger inside it. "Hole's still in it from when Vorona launched a knife in his gut. Stiff with blood, too."

"If it disgusts you, perhaps you should return it to the chair," Kasuka suggested, sitting beside his brother.

Shizuo, still upside down with his head hanging over the edge of the bed, held the coat up in the air. "Why would he keep such a thing? I didn't think he was so sentimental. It's an ugly coat, too."

"Perhaps it serves as a reminder of his defeat," Kasuka observed, curious as to why his brother still clutched the thing he so detested. "At your hands."

Shizuo stared up at the coat for a while. Then he tossed it back onto the chair haphazardly. "I didn't do him in. Vorona did. Would have. I thought about bashing his head in with a vending machine, but you know, I don't think I coulda."

"Why's that?" Kasuka asked.

Shizuo sighed and shut his eyes. "He's too pathetic to kill."

Not too long after that, Shizuo descended into a deep slumber, evidenced by his heavy snores. Kasuka tucked a blanket over him and returned to the living room.

"He's fallen asleep."

"Already?" Akabayashi asked as though he was scandalized. "How many of those Russians has he had?"

"Shizuo doesn't drink mixed drinks often," Kasuka said. He slipped into the seat next to Ruri while Celty cleared dishes in the kitchen. "He's sleeping in Izaya's bed."

Everyone perked to attention at this careless statement. Celty hurried into the living room with a dish rag in one hand and a soap wand in the other. Realizing she couldn't type, she returned to the kitchen and ditched them, returning with her PDA.

[Bring him some water and aspirin!]

"Does Shizuo not detest Izaya?" Vorona inquired, standing up. "If so, why sleep in Izaya's bed?"

"Alcohol does funny things to ya," Tom explained, trying to stand after her. He lost his footing and Vorona stooped to help him up. "Thanks, Vorona." He muttered, "What a woman," perhaps a bit more loudly than he thought.

"The sub-conscious is a tricky thing," Akabayashi said, standing along with the others. He held a finger out from his glass, a metal ring glinting in the light. "Some part of him wants to renew his interactions with Izaya. Right, Akane?"

Akane smiled shyly. "Well, from a woman's perspective, I'd definitely sleep in the bed of someone I longed to be close to."

Vorona folded her arms. "Does not make sense. Shizuo hates Izaya, yet wishes to remain close to him?"

"Keeps your friends close but your enemies closer," Akabayashi said with what was intended to be a wink (it was hard to tell this with one eye). He sighed. "I'm starting to regret what pool I cast my bet in."

"He won't be happy when he wakes up," Tom said. "He'll be surrounded by Izaya's things. His smell, his clothes, his essence. He'll be cranky as hell."

"So let him!" Akabayashi argued. "He's too old to be feuding with someone like this. He won-with Vorona's help, of course-but he needs to drop it. As long as Izaya doesn't start anything, he has no reason to hold this petty grudge."

"Let bygones be bygones," Ruri agreed. "Vengeance is a brief notion. To hold onto it does more harm than good."

"It's hard for my brother to let go," Kasuka said with the slightest of sighs. His hand covered Ruri's. "Whatever Izaya did to him, he'd never let go, even if Izaya wasn't here. Celty's absolutely right; the only chance for peace, for him, for Izaya, for Ikebukuro, is to help them."

"How to help them, though?" Vorona asked, helping Tom remain on his feet along with Akabayashi. "If Izaya had died, would Shizuo let go?"

[Only if he was the one to kill him] Celty typed. [Even then, he'd feel guilty. Remember the newspaper article after the events with Saika and my head? How the writer described everything as a form of 'twisted love'? Well, their relationship is exactly that. Not love, but just as passionate, twisted by hatred. If we play our cards right, we twist it into something else.]

"Celty, you're turning into Erika!" Akane exclaimed with a pink hue to her round cheeks. "But I have to say, I've never known Shizuo to be as passionate about anything as he is Izaya. If he can turn that hatred into love, think of all the things we could improve!"

"You of all people support this?" Akabayashi asked, visibly surprised.

Akane nodded. "The ultimate form of love is to desire happiness for your loved ones. Unless we resolve things for Shizuo and Izaya, Shizuo will have this hanging over his head. And since he can't kill him and doesn't want anyone else to, that must mean he has some sort of underlying, unresolved feelings for Izaya."

Akabayashi sighed. "You're quite the grown-up now, Miss Akane."

[Well, there's not much we can do now, since he's passed out in the guest room. I'll have to find a way to get him out before Izaya comes back.]

"As bad as that might be …" Akabayashi started to say, and everyone's eyes turned to him. "Imagine if a drunk Izaya returned to his bed to find a drunk Shizuo in it?"

Silence fell onto the entirety of the apartment while numerous thoughts spun like clockwork.

"Would be disaster!" Vorona said first.

[If Shizuo woke up, he would destroy my apartment!] Celty typed, shaking her head furiously.

"My brother sleeps for ten hours or more when he's drunk," Kasuka insisted. "Even if he woke up enough to notice Izaya was in bed with him, he'd be too out of it to react. As sharp as his reflexes are when he's awake, they're equally dull when he's inebriated."

"This is a crazy idea," Tom argued with a furious shake of his head. "The only way we should agree to this is if Shizuo has a safety net for when things go wrong."

It turned out that no one wanted to leave. The idea of Izaya coming home to find Shizuo in his bed and snuggling up to him was all too intriguing, despite the disastrous possibilities.

Celty, in the meantime, typed furiously. [THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA! No way! It's my apartment and I won't allow it! Either Shizuo would wake up and freak out, or Izaya would freak out at the sight of Shizuo! He has PTSD, you know!]

"That's probably a reasonable prediction," Tom agreed, "and a reasonable request. He'll have had enough of Izaya by the time he wakes up, anyway."

It was decided that the party was over. Kasuka and Ruri left together, and Akane and Akabayashi. Vorona supported Tom. When Celty looked through the window (like a worrying mother watching her children leave), she saw Kasuka driving Ruri away, and an ominous black limo picking Akabayashi and Akane up. Vorona hoisted Tom onto her bike behind her, and he was all too happy to grab onto her as they sped away. His stomach might not have been as happy.

When Celty looked in on Shizuo, she laughed inwardly. He was sprawled all over the bed and hugging onto the pillow. His mouth hung open and a little thread of drool had dangled out. Celty wondered if Izaya was as attuned to Shizuo's presence as Shizuo was to his, and if he'd comment on this to her or Shinra.

 _Should I make the bed when Shizuo leaves, or let it stay as it is? It'd be interesting for Izaya … no. I can't push Shizuo onto him if he's really frightened by him now._

 _Wow. Am I really being considerate of Izaya? Is that wrong of me? He's done so many bad things to people._

 _But he isn't now. And he's obviously been affected in some way. Or at least he wants us to think so._

 _How bad is it that even if he's really feeling like this, we can't even believe it? He can't possibly know how much damage he's caused!_

 _What if … hmm. Maybe he could apologize? Tell everyone he's turning over a new leaf? Then we could all help him find a new place in life, maybe even in Ikebukuro._

 _Even so, would Shizuo ever forgive him?_

 **Saturday, 7PM, Russia Sushi**

When Shinra and Izaya had arrived at Russia Sushi, Izaya had been completely surprised to find the entire restaurant occupied by familiar faces. This utter astonishment was something Shinra had never seen from him. He was trying to discern what he was feeling, but Izaya himself didn't even seem to be able to process what he felt.

 _Are all of these people here for … me?_

"Shinra," he whispered as he leaned in towards Shinra, "have you sold me out?"

"Huh?"

As Kyohei's gang gave them a friendly wave and Mairu and Kururi stood up to greet them, the others gave more subdued nods or smaller waves. Izaya hadn't interacted much with Rokujo, and not directly with Seiiji and Mika, but he was rather surprised to see Namie, Mikado, Anri, and Masaomi. Masaomi especially had an expression he couldn't place and didn't entirely like. Namie's face was cold, but not steely – like pity had softened her gaze.

"It's not exactly fair to let everyone get their revenge on a cripple," Izaya hissed to Shinra under his breath.

"We're all here to welcome you back!" Mairu insisted as she approached him. She flung her arms out to embrace him, but he flinched. He was walking but still relied on crutches to get around.

Mairu and Kururi stared at him like he was an alien. "Woah. Big brother isn't ... Mairu, I can't find the word."

"Shy? Scared? Jumpy?" Mairu filled in for Kururi.

Kyohei stood up and filed in alongside the girls. "Izaya, buddy, we won't eat ya. Even if someone here didn't have the best of intentions, me and my gang won't let them hurt you." He reached out to place a hand on Izaya's shoulder. Izaya jerked instinctively but eventually let him.

Kyohei smiled. "Trust me. Now let your sisters hug you. You need it."

Izaya realized that Kyohei was, sadly, right. Mairu and Kururi embraced him from either side so he was completely smothered, but with a tenderness that surprised him.

"Big brother, we're just happy you came," Kururi said quietly.

"You got beat up pretty bad, but maybe it was for a good reason," Mairu added, perhaps more chipperly than she should have.

"Welcome, Izaya!" Simon greeted once Izaya had been released by his sisters. "If you are weak, need eat sushi. Sushi make you strong!" He patted Izaya on the back and escorted him into the booth with the gang. The privacy screens had been removed to allow everyone to sit together.

Izaya sat with Shinra, Mairu and Kururi, and next to them was the booth that Kyohei's gang occupied. Next were Namie, Seiiji and Mika, and the last booth sat Masaomi, Mikado, Anri and Rokujo at it. Izaya was relieved by that distance.

 _I shouldn't be intimidated by these people. I used to have them all under my thumb. How is it I can talk to them online like nothing happened, but here in the flesh I can barely face them?_

 _Because now I'm weak._

"So why'd you come back?" Namie asked him point-blank.

Izaya tried to muster up a witty retort, but it took too much energy. "In the end, Ikebukuro is my home."

She couldn't argue with that. "Fine. But don't interfere with me and Seiiji anymore."

"I don't have the energy or inclination for that right now," Izaya assured her. His somber attitude was confusing a lot of them. This managed to mildly amuse him.

"He's here so I can help him," Shinra added helpfully. "He's made good progress in a week already!"

Simon brought out glasses and pitchers of water for all of them, stopping by Izaya's table first. "If mind strong, body will follow, Izaya. Strengthen mind first."

Simon had always been a peaceful powerhouse. Sort of what Shizuo aspired to be, Izaya mused to himself. Despite Simon's language barrier, Izaya knew he was wise – and this wisdom was what that bleached oaf lacked.

"Well, I'm here. That's progress already," Izaya retorted with a forced smile. "If it wasn't for Shinra and Kyohei, I'd have stayed in. They said there'd be a little get-together, but 'little' was a gross underestimation."

"You love people, right, Izaya?" Masaomi said. Izaya looked at him but found it hard to keep his eyes lined up with Kida's penetrating stare. "This should be right up your alley."

"Yes, well, it's all fun to be around people you love, but not to be around people who hate you," Izaya shot back.

"Maybe if you weren't so mean, people wouldn't hate you," Anri said firmly, though her voice was still quiet.

"You're the one who told me people are constantly bored and therefore constantly changing," Mikado added. "So you can change too. Everyone deserves another chance."

"Even you," Masaomi agreed with a roll of his eyes. "If the crutch thing is a bid for pity, though –"

"You didn't see what that monster did to me," Izaya hissed. "You know what he's capable of."

"But it's been so long," Namie debated, casting a quick, inquisitive glance at her brother and Mika. "After all of this time, are you still injured?"

"His body was broken," Shinra argued for him. "And probably his mind."

"And his heart," Erika said with an airy sigh.

"I can speak for myself, thank you," Izaya said sharply. "And what's this business about my heart being broken? Something like I'm sad because my beloved humans wouldn't love me back?"

"I was thinking of _one_ human …" Erika said, but Walker clapped a hand over her mouth before she could finish the thought.

"Listen," Kyohei said earnestly, leaning over so he could line his gaze up with Izaya's, "we're all here because we were curious. We wanted to see what you were like and know what brought you back. So now we see, and now we know. Personally, I buy it. You've changed. Maybe you don't know it yet, but I think it's for the better. And we can help show you that."

"Yeah, big brother!" Mairu agreed, smiling at him across the table.

"Seeing you like this makes us miserable," Kururi said, casting her gaze to her glass of water.

"If you really want to be here again," Masaomi said, standing up abruptly, "we need to believe you're not going to fuck shit up again. You can hardly blame us for doubting you."

"You hurt a lot of people," Anri agreed with a sharp nod.

"If you love us, you need to learn to show it better," Mikado said. Izaya had once considered him one of his favorite humans, but his dynamism seemed to have dulled down into a state of contentment. He was obviously dating Anri Sonohara, which lent a lot to that satisfaction. "You can enjoy people without hurting them. By doing things that make them react, but happily."

"Well, isn't this turning out to be a cute after-school special?" Izaya quipped, making a 'pfft' noise. Deep down, he knew they were right, but it didn't take the sting off of things.

"Izaya, it's time to grow up, damn it!" Kyohei snapped. "We're giving you a chance, so don't dismiss us so readily!"

"What do you want, an apology?" Izaya asked. Everyone looked at him expectantly, but he noted Masaomi and Namie's slight nods. "For me to admit I was a string-pulling asshole? That I found enjoyment in all of your suffering? Well, I didn't! I don't know how to explain this to you, but I can't relate to you. I can perceive you and understand you, predict you, even how you'll react to each other … but I can't involve myself in your lives any other way than by manipulating them."

"So you're disassociated from people and have a superiority complex," Namie said. "Big deal. We knew that. Myself most of all. But even you knew how much people mattered to you. See, to me, Seiiji is the most important thing in my entire life, and I'll do anything for his sake!" She embraced him and Mika instinctively groped his other arm. Seiiji was frozen in the midst of trying to eat the soup appetizers Simon had unobtrusively brought out earlier.

"You have to CARE about us," Masaomi said. "To realize we have feelings. We love, we laugh, we hurt. And I know you realize when and how to hurt, but what about making people happy, huh?"

Izaya suddenly felt like he was in the midst of a whimsical French film. He sputtered into a gentle laugh that surprised everyone.

"What could I possibly do to make any of you happy?" The thought was absurd to him. "If you want money, I don't have it. If you want to hurt me, take a look at me: Shizuo got to me first."

"Is all that matters to you money and power?" Shinra asked quietly beside him. "Because I never forgot what you did for me back in school. And ever since then, I've believed in you, even when no one else would."

Izaya suspected Shinra had told Celty about this incident, which he'd requested Shinra to keep a secret from everyone. It had been a true sign of his own humanity, and in a way he had wanted to obscure that weakness from everyone else. It had backfired on him.

People's fear only turned into hate.

"Money and power carried me far," Izaya said, drifting off into thought. "But I fell quite a distance as a result."

"There's nowhere to go but up, then," Kyohei said with a smile. "I know it's gonna sound patronizing, but it's the little things that matter. A compliment, a gift, a card, things that show you know and care about a person."

Izaya knew a good bit about what these people valued. Things such as Celty for Shinra, Ruri Hijiribe for the van driver, Kasuka Heiwajima for Mairu and Kururi, manga for Walker and Erika, Seiiji for Namie and Mika, women for Chikage, the essential friendship of Mikado, Masaomi and Anri … but those were mostly relationships. What were the little things? Their idiosyncrasies? Favorite colors, food dishes, animals? What were the nice things that could be said about them? And could he say them without swallowing back a bitter taste in his throat?

 _I could use my powers of observation for good. I could gain their trust. Maybe even their love. It would be nice to be loved back for once._

Izaya realized he was tired of being hated. And of being lonely. His life had become shallow and depressing. Doing something was better than nothing, and if he couldn't do what he'd once done, he could do something new.

It was actually somewhat exciting.

"Well, I'll pledge this to all of you, then," he announced after some debate within his own mind. "That I'll make it up to each of you in my own way. You'll never believe what I say, so I'll show you."

Masaomi laughed. "You mean like Pollyanna? Izayanna?"

Izaya frowned. "If you don't want to take me seriously, that's your prerogative. For starters, I'll cover the bill."

Rokujo pointed to the table in front of him, then the others. "THIS bill? For all of us?"

"As a gesture of goodwill to thank you all for coming out, whether it was to support me or to revel in my fall from power."

If it was a play, it was a very convincing one. Izaya had even come to doubt his own sincerity at times. Whether he'd find enjoyment in doing these nice things for others wasn't certain, but he would enjoy the challenge of discovering what he could do.

The looks on all of their faces now would have been priceless if he hadn't just agreed to buy all of their food and drinks.

Still, it was worth it.

Reinvigorated with purpose within his own mind, Izaya was able to relax and enjoy his meal and some sake. He even conversed with Shinra and his sisters, gleaning information about them. He spoke with Kyohei and his gang as well, and even caught up with Namie and Mikado's crew. They were guarded with some of what they revealed, but the more mundane aspects of conversation flowed freely.

As observant as Izaya was, he took away a good bit of information that night. He knew not everyone was convinced he'd follow through on what he'd promised, but he'd prove them wrong.

In the end, he'd make them all love him.

As he drank, those angry amber eyes flashed in his mind.

 _Maybe not him. I don't_ want _his love. I don't even know how I'd get it. What things does Shizuo like?_

 _Ugh. Why am I thinking about that? I suppose it's interesting. Something I don't know. Will I find things about these people that make me love them more intimately? That'll help me understand them?_

 _I don't know that I could understand him. He likes … sunglasses and cigarettes?_

 _Ah, who cares._

Izaya let his guard down around Shinra and drank up to the point where he feared he'd run his mouth too much. At that point, everyone thanked him for the meal and went their separate ways, apart from Shinra and the Russians.

When Izaya went to Simon for the bill, Simon surprised him. "No bill. Izaya's generosity inspired me. I be generous to you."

"All of it … free?" Izaya asked, wobbling on his crutches. The room was starting to spin a bit.

Simon leaned towards him. "A tip is highly encouraged but not required."

Izaya snickered and dug into his pocket, retrieving his wallet. He tossed a 1000 yen note onto the counter. "Thanks, Simon. See you again soon."

Simon grabbed the bill and waved it in the air after Izaya as Shinra helped him out. "Revelry is jolly, hangover is heavy!"

Izaya realized he was indeed rather likely to have a hangover in the morning. He and Shinra took a cab home, during which Shinra texted (Celty, no doubt) ceaselessly. He rested his throbbing head against the window and watched the lights of passing cars go by. He swore he saw a familiar yellow helmet – and a bartender behind it – but it was gone before he could confirm this.

 _I'm just drunk and paranoid._

When they returned to the apartment, Izaya noticed freshly washed dishes. Celty didn't eat. Had there been dirty ones when he'd left?

Shinra got him water and aspirin and helped him into his room. When he fell into the bed, he noticed a slightly unpleasant, dirty smell, like an ashtray. He also observed that his coat was draped over the edge of the bed instead of the chair where he'd left it. Had Celty done something in here?

 _Ugh. Why would she make it smell like ashes in here? There's no kind of candle or room spray that smells this bad._

He tossed and turned, fighting with his own drunkenness.

 _Sunglasses and cigarettes._

His eyes opened abruptly. Was he experiencing psychosomatic _smells_ now?

 _What a rotten thing. I have nightmares about him and lingering physical pain-now I have to smell his stink?_

 _Ironic that a man like that likes such sweet foods. This smell is so bitter._

 _Also ironic is my own fondness for bitter foods, then. Of course, maybe I just hate this smell because of him._

In the end, the smell never faded away. In fact, the more Izaya snuggled into his pillow, the stronger it got. Eventually he succumbed to a drunken, frustrated sleep, though it was unimpaired by nightmares.


	5. Gifts and Gab

**Author's note:**

Thanks for all of the encouraging reviews and constructive criticisms, everyone! I'm very glad you're enjoying the story thus far :)

 **5\. Gifts and Gab**

When Izaya signed into the chat room, he was pleased to see it was fairly full.

Chrome: Hello, everyone! How's it going?

Taro Tanaka: Hi, Chrome! Really great! My girlfriend and I got surprised by a day trip together to a spa!

Chrome: Oh really? That's so exciting! How was it?

Saika: So relaxing … there were wonderful smells and hot stone massages. And chocolates!

Taro Tanaka: Yeah, what was really weird was that I got a call from the local news saying it was because we'd been chosen as Ikebukuro's cutest couple …

Setton: I remember that. You were on TV a few years back, but it was ruined by Shizuo and Izaya fighting again.

Bakyura: Ah, yes, Ikebukuro's most volatile couple … heh heh.

Chrome: That's a warped perspective you have there, Bakyura. Let Taro and Saika enjoy the remaining wisps of their fragrant relaxation!

Bakyura: Yeah, well, me and my girl got a gift too. Tickets to fly across the world for New Year's.

Taro Tanaka: No way!

Saika: Did you win a contest too?

Bakyura: Nah. It's just guilt money.

Setton: How so?

Bakyura: Someone who did me way way dirty is trying too little too late to make up for it.

Chrome: Oh dear. And who might that be?

Bakyura: Who's at the root of all of Ikebukuro's woes? At any rate, I don't trust it.

Taro Tanaka: They say not to look a gift horse in the mouth, right?

Saika: Even if our gift wasn't really from the TV station, we really enjoyed it.

Setton: I'm so glad! Sometimes people really do try … the least we can do is let them prove us wrong. Give them one more chance, Bakyura.

 **San has entered the chat room.**

 **Kyo has entered the chat room.**

San: Hello, everyone.

Kyo: What's up? Looks like you've all been busy!

Chrome: Everyone was talking about some exciting gifts they received. Apparently, they've either been lucky or they're tokens of someone's regret.

San: Hmm. Interesting.

Kyo: San and I got interesting gifts too. Should we tell 'em, San?

San: Go for it.

Kyo: Weeeellll~ we're going to visit the set of Yuuhei Hanejima's next film!

Chrome: Wow, that's been a dream of yours for a while, right?

Kyo: Yes! I have a feeling I know who to thank, but I'll thank them in private later ;-)

San: Me, too.

As per their word, both girls popped up in private mode with Chrome.

Kyo: Brother, this is AMAZING!

San: Thanks so much.

Kyo: I don't know how you did it, but I'm SO EXCITED to visit a film set for the first time ever!

San: Yuuhei's especially.

Chrome: I said I'd do it, didn't I?

Kyo: You don't know how to be gracious, do you? L

San: Just say 'you're welcome.'

Kyo: We forgive you, because you knew how much we love Yuuhei and you went out of your way to do this for us, but c'mon and be pleasant about the nice thing you did!

San: It defeats the purpose when you're so blunt about it.

Chrome: *sigh* You're welcome. I hope you enjoy it. Please don't embarrass me.

Kyo: You? Embarrassed? Pfft! Who knew you felt such an emotion?

San: Who knew you felt emotions?

Chrome: Ah, keep at it and I'll take it away …

Kyo: You're amazing and super emotional, Bro!

San: A true empath who dabs his eyes during romantic movies.

Kyo: And weeps at videos of cute baby animals.

San: Who feels the flutter of warmth in his chest whenever he sees that special someone.

Kyo: Maybe we'll get you and Shizu a spa treatment, huh huh?

Chrome: I'm closing this window now.

And so he did.

When he returned to the regular chat, he saw that Gaki had entered. He highly suspected that Gaki was Mizuki Akabayashi, and the way he kept his own little gift under lids was befitting of this opinion.

Setton: You really won't tell us?

Gaki: You gotta keep some parts of your life a secret, right? It surprised me and made me pretty happy. Either someone knew me really well or knew someone else who did.

Bakyura: Sounds like that someone's been pulling a few of their old strings to get info.

Taro Tanaka: As long as it's for a purpose like this, I'm fine with it.

Saika: We all smiled when we got our gifts, right? I wonder what everyone else got?

Chrome: 'Everyone else' who? Is there a particular group of people expecting these materialistic apologies?

Saika: I … uh … just mean … the people I know.

Taro Tanaka: Bakyura said there's a lot of people this person has wronged. And the timing with the return of the infobroker is no coincidence. Chrome, I think you can figure it out.

Izaya knew at this point that Mikado knew this alias was his as well. Izaya highly suspected that more than just Mikado knew this. Kida certainly did – he was terrible at masking his disdain for Izaya and wanted him to know this in any way he could. Akabayashi probably knew, what with his organizational ties. Probably Celty too. Anri was shy but not stupid.

He sighed and sat back in his seat, making it creak. He'd just have to keep playing it off like he didn't know they knew. But he'd be careful about what he said – more than usual.

When that exciting new orange image flickered onto screen, Izaya leaned forward over the keyboard.

 **Taiyo has entered the chat room.**

Taiyo: Yo.

 _Ah, that uncivilized greeting. So reminiscent of my conversationally challenged foe._

Chrome: Well, hello there!

Setton: Hi! This is the first time I've seen you on here. So that's the name you chose? It suits you!

Taiyo: Hey. I dont mind it here so far. Whered you get your name from Setton?

Setton: A pistachio farm.

Chrome: Oh, there goes Setton with that deadpan humor of theirs! What a kidder.

Taro Tanaka: Did you get a gift too, Taiyo?

Taiyo: A gift?

Saika: A lot of us got gifts in the past week from mysterious sources.

Bakyura: More like ominous sources.

Gaki: Ominous or not, I'm keeping mine.

Taiyo: I didnt get any gifts.

Setton: Me neither. Guess I was bad this year!

Taro Tanaka: Was that a Satan reference?

Bakyura: Pfft! Haha what?!

Nobody but Akabayashi knew that he'd had a little too much fun with his illegally acquired administrator rights.

Setton: I didn't type that. Maybe it was auto-correct?

Chrome: Well, maybe if you were bad, it WAS a Satan reference. Hee hee! But I think you're probably just a hard person to shop for, Setton.

Setton: Not really. I'm really pretty ordinary.

Kyo: A nice pair of slippers?

San: A fluffy robe?

Saika: A nice dinner?

Taro Tanaka: A sight-seeing trip?

Setton: No, no … I mean, that's all nice, but I don't need it. I'd like something … that means more.

Chrome: See? You're the kind of person who takes effort. What about you, Taiyo?

Taiyo: I dont get a lot of gifts. I dont have too much use for things like that.

Izaya initiated a private chat with Taiyo. He maintained the other chat but held back a bit while the others tried to suggest gift ideas for 'Setton'.

Chrome: What if I offered you a gift? ;-)

Taiyo: Why would you?

Chrome: Because I like you!

Taiyo: You barely know me.

Chrome: I'm working on that :-P

Taiyo: What would you get me?

Chrome: Hmm … maybe something sweet?

Taiyo: I like sweets.

Chrome: Well, then you'd loooove me~

Taiyo: Why?

Chrome: Because I'm sweet! Ah, I know-I'll wrap myself up in a bow and give myself to you!

The lower right of the window showed 'Taiyo is typing' for a while. He must've kept hitting backspace.

Taiyo: We should meet before you say those kinds of things.

Chrome: I have to ask … you seem so familiar. Do I know you? That's why it's so easy for me to talk to you like this.

Taiyo: Well I dont even know who you are so how would I know if you knew me?

Chrome: Good point. Do I remind you of anyone? Anyone cuuute?

Taiyo: Not really. You talk like a girl but youre really outspoken. So Im not sure you are.

Izaya was surprised by whom he assumed to be Shizuo's astuteness, further casting doubt on this opinion.

 _Who else could it be? Is someone pretending to be him? Do they know it's me? Are they playing me?_

Izaya was momentarily stumped. He didn't know what direction he wanted to lead the conversation.

Chrome: Do you want me to be? Or would you mind if I wasn't?

Taiyo: Well you talk weird for a guy. But if you are one I dont really care.

Chrome: That's surprising! Would you still want to meet me if I was?

Taiyo: Why do you ask? Are you?

Chrome: I just want you to love me for my personality, that's all!

Taiyo: I dont think Id fall in love with someone I met online-at least not until I met them in person. Anyways youre putting a lot of weight on this. Lets just be friends. You dont have to flirt for me to like you.

Chrome: As long as you don't hate me, I guess! Maybe I was just telling you what I thought you wanted to hear L

Taiyo: You dont have to talk like that. Lets talk about normal things.

Chrome: You seem down. Is something wrong?

Taiyo: ah no. I was just reading the news.

Chrome: Oh, and what did you read?

Taiyo: there was a story about a woman who adopted a dog nobody wanted. They thought it was violent and wouldnt get along well with other dogs.

Chrome: Oh, that's sad!

Taiyo: Yeah. But it turned out the dog was really great with her and just needed training to be around other dogs. She had it for over ten years but then it got sick and she had to put it down. It made me kinda bummed out. Dogs are loyal and im sure it wouldve loved to have stayed by her side forever but she knew it was suffering. So she hurt even worse to save it from that pain. It just kinda made me think about sacrificing your happiness for someone else.

Chrome: Wow. I don't know what to say.

For once, this was true. Izaya didn't know how to reply to such an earnest revelation. This person, Shizuo or not, had expressed a degree of emotions Izaya himself had never experienced. Perhaps that was their aim.

Taiyo: I guess what im trying to say is that Im scared of hurting for someone elses happiness. But I still want to be loved.

That resonated with Izaya. Deep inside his chest, it heated and tightened. A lump formed in his dry throat.

Chrome: I think … I agree completely.

Taiyo: So thats why youre so forward? You want to be loved on a superficial level?

Chrome: No I … I want to be loved deeply. But I'm scared to be hurt, too. It's only human. In fact, it's one of the most human things there is.

 _Who IS this? My monster who's been human all along? Or a human pretending to be him? I've never known him to have these kinds of thoughts, let alone express them. But I guess I never gave him a chance._

 _Shizuo or not? Either way, I feel … odd._

 _This feels_ real.

Izaya realized this frightened him. It was the sort of fear thoughts of death inspired in him. It upset his stomach and rattled his very foundations.

 _I can't be weak. But … I already am._

He sighed and read Taiyo's reply with his fingers hovering above the keyboard.

Taiyo: Yeah I guess everyone wants to be loved. That's not weird of me right? That that story made me ache inside?

Chrome: Not at all. But you should know that the dog's pain would've only been superficial and temporary. The woman's is deep and will last her whole life.

Taiyo: Idunno. Ive seen shows about elephants and stuff. They mourn their dead and experience PTSD when they see their families get murdered by poachers. I think that ache lasts their whole life and is pretty deep. Some animals are more human than other.s

Chrome: Humans ARE animals. Love and sadness are some of the most basic emotions. We just rationalize them, I suppose. Perhaps we dwell on them. Do you think if a human lacked such things, they'd be LESS than human?

Taiyo: A human is a human. Feelings are feelings. Even if someone pretends to feel it's a human action. Maybe moreso because animals dont really pretend,

Chrome: This has gotten surprisingly deep, but I'm not complaining. Everyone else on the board just likes to gossip and talk about superficial things. So, to you, do things like gifts matter?

Taiyo: id cherish the thought more than the gift itself. It's a cliché but they say the act of giving is the gift itself. My –

At this point Akabayashi, who was surprised by how engaged he'd been in this exchange, was forced to delete the reference to Kasuka's gifts to his brother. (This was actually Shizuo writing, not yet Akane in his stead.)

Taiyo: Sorry. My computer is being stupid again. Anyway I was going to say that I love the gifts I have because of who gave them to me not because of what they are.

Chrome: Aw, Taiyo, are you the kinda guy who'd hold onto your child's drawings?

Taiyo: I guess I would be

Chrome: Or maybe the childhood clothes your mother made for you?

Taiyo: I actually do still have some of those, yeah

Chrome: I'm not surprised! So if I got you something, would you hold onto it forever?

Taiyo: Maybe. Yeah.

Chrome: Even if it was me in a bow?

Taiyo: Cmon!

Chrome: I was just kidding! I can't help it! You're so fun to tease … I'll bet you're blushing.

Taiyo: Yeah yeah. Youd like that wouldn't you?

Chrome: Ooh, now there's some sassy Taiyo! I like it!

Taiyo: You know … dont take this the wrong way … but if you keep talking like that … if youre a guy I wouldnt know how to take it.

Chrome: Hm? How do you mean?

Taiyo: I mean if youre a guy and we were talking face to face, I cant imagine you talking like that. I kinda don't like girls who talk all cutesy like that either.

Chrome: Hmm? Well, maybe I was laying it on a little too thick. You're less subtle than I thought at first. So maybe I'll calm it down and you can take it up a notch.

Taiyo: How so?

Chrome: If you want to meet me one day, you'll have to be the one to tell me. And we'll talk face to face and see how much you like me.

Taiyo: I dont want you to like me less in person. Im kind of shy.

He also typed 'And I have a bad temper' but Akabayashi thought it was best to remove this. Shizuo in turn expressed this bad temper by cursing loudly at the 'undeliverable message' error he was getting increasingly frustrated by.

Chrome: Well, I'm scared of the same thing. So let's take it slow and you tell me when and if you want to. And I'll try to be less bold, but you're so cute it makes it hard ;_;

Taiyo: Okay. I should probably get going for work. Well talk again soon.

Chrome: Have a great day! Think about what kind of gift you'd like and I'll get it for you!

Taiyo: You think of something. Whatever it is, Ill gladly accept it.

Meanwhile, Setton and the others were talking.

Setton: I wonder where Taiyo and Chrome disappeared to? I thought Taiyo was MY chat friend, but Chrome hijacked him!

Bakyura: Chrome's kinda known for that kinda thing.

Gaki: Hey now. If they've got a thing going, let 'em. We have plenty of company here.

Kyo: I ship it. I ship it SO HARD.

San: They'll be so embarrassed when they read this chat log.

Setton: Ha, they will! Still, it makes me smile.

Taro Tanaka: Change is good. If they become good friends, I'm happy for them.

Saika: Me too.

Bakyura: We'll see. What burns hot burns out fast.

Gaki: Oh, it's almost bound to be spontaneous combustion.

Setton: !That was on my weekly program! So scary!

Kyo: Isn't that when you erupt into flames?

San: And all that's left is your shoes and a pile of ashes?

Saika: Oh my gosh, that's so frightening! Is it real?

Setton: I'm getting freaked out just talking about it!

Taro Tanaka: I don't think you have anything to worry about, Setton.

Taiyo: Hey. Just wanted to say bye. Sorry I got caught up in private mode.

Bakyura: Oh, we know allll about you and Chrome …

Chrome: Don't embarrass him, Bakyura! Naughty naughty! Taiyo is a perfect gentleman.

 **Taiyo has left the chat room.**

Gaki: Ah, he exited before he could even read all of that anyway. Guess he only has time for you, Chrome.

Chrome: Oh, don't flatter me! Tell me, Setton, is this friend of yours good-looking?

Setton: A lot of people seem to think so.

Chrome: Give me a few hints. I'm dying of curiosity.

Setton: Uh … he likes hats.

Izaya conjured images of Kyohei and Chikage. He couldn't imagine it being one of them, but he didn't know Chikage all that well. He was a well-known womanizer though, and forward … but he could easily play shy on a chat log to get a girl to fall for him.

Plus, Celty could be feeding him false information purposefully.

In a strange way, Izaya hoped it WAS Shizuo. He was less fearful of a man that felt sorrow for a woman who put her sick dog to sleep.

Chrome: More, Setton! Pleeeeease?

Setton: He … uh … well, I don't want to give it away or he'll be mad at me.

Chrome: Hm. I know him then?

Setton: Not really, no.

Chrome: Ok. I know OF him.

Setton: Don't push it, Chrome. I won't budge an inch.

Chrome: I have an inkling, since you invited him to our little group. I'm not mad; I'm enjoying my conversations with him. Maybe you're just mad I 'hijacked' him from you.

Setton: Think what you want. As long as you're being nice.

Chrome: When am I not? J I should probably head out, too. Things to do. I'm a busy girl! Ciao!

 **Chrome has left the chat room.**

He'd actually gone invisible, but nobody said anything interesting after he left. When he tried to hack into their private chat logs, nothing popped up. He wondered if they didn't have any, or if someone else had placed a firewall on his own admin rights.

He leaned back in the chair, which stretched with a leathery creak as his wheels rolled back. He was pleased with the reactions his little peace offerings were getting, but even more pleased with the surprising conversation he'd had with Taiyo online. He was often amused and entertained by the things people said, but not provoked by them – especially not provoked to dig deeper into his own thoughts and feelings.

When Shinra walked out of his bedroom, he caught Izaya's gaze and grinned. "Hey, you look happy. What're you smiling about?"

Izaya hadn't realized he was smiling. "My efforts are bearing fruit."

"It's nice to make other people happy, isn't it?" he asked as he sank into the couch. Celty emerged from the room as well, done with her chat conversation. She waved a hand and joined Shinra on the couch.

"So what do you two want, then?" Izaya queried, linking his fingers behind his head. "You deserve a nice reward for putting me up and helping me out with my therapy."

Izaya heard Celty typing on her PDA. She let Shinra read it and he nodded firmly.

"Make it up to Shizuo."

Izaya bolted up in his seat and his smile faded. "THAT'S what you want? BOTH of you?"

They nodded, in sync.

"He nearly killed me! Why should I make it up to him? WHAT am I making up to him?"

"All of the times you nearly killed HIM," Shinra answered defiantly. "And framed him. For being a thorn in his side for almost a decade."

Izaya folded his arms, his eyes flashing. "He gave as good as he got."

"But he was provoked," Shinra debated, his arms hanging over the back of the couch. He rested his chin in them like a little child.

"A moth fluttering near his face would provoke him," Izaya protested. "A bird chirping in the morning. A traffic light on a timer. Getting a pebble in his shoe. Digging into a box of chocolates and finding out he'd grabbed a dark one."

"Well, yes, Shizuo is very easily flustered … but you took that tendency and twisted it to its highest degree. If you hadn't have pushed him, things never would've gotten so bad."

"He'll never forgive me. I might as well kill myself and have you place my body at his doorstep as this peace offering you're asking for."

Celty typed furiously and held up the PDA. Izaya rolled the chair closer so he could read it.

[If you make the first step, we'll encourage him to accept it. We're not saying he didn't react badly. The two of you need to work things out. It's for the best. Especially for you.]

"You just want him to finish me off so I'm out of your hair for good," Izaya denied caustically, knowing deep down this wasn't true but having a hard time believing in humanity's capacity to care for him.

"I wouldn't put this much work into you just to let Shizuo kill you!" Shinra yelled, banging a fist against the couch. Celty jumped back a little. Even Izaya was surprised.

"He damaged you, and he needs to know it! And you need to have this happen to get better! I'm not saying to do it now, but when you feel up to it – and don't say never – try for us. You're seeing how receptive everyone is being to your gifts, right? They know it's your way of apologizing, of trying to make amends. Shizuo's not as stupid as you think. If you mean it, eventually he'll believe it."

[You're not 100% right about any person 100% of the time,] Celty typed. [And that's why you hated him, right? Because you were never right about him? So who's to say this time will be any different? You're expecting him to reject your apology – maybe he won't. Give him a chance.]

Izaya ran over dozens of scenarios in his mind during a matter of minutes. 95% of these had an outcome that didn't favor him. The other 5% took him down some strange pathways that would almost be amusing. In the off-chance Celty and Shinra were right, and for the sake of psychological study, Izaya finally sighed and said, "I'll think about it."

When the two of them started to relax and sink back into the couch, Izaya added, "But if he tries to kill me or even throws a punch at me, I'm done. I'll have no choice but to avoid him entirely – or resume my attempts to eliminate him."

Shinra and Celty's shoulders tightened again. Izaya had no intent to eliminate Shizuo; he knew his clever machinations couldn't account for sheer unpredictable strength. But if he made this attempt and it failed, there would be no more.

For now, he continued with what was working for him.

As time passed, smiles continued to grace the faces of Ikebukuro's denizens. Saburo was stunned when he received a ticket to the next Ruri Hijiribe concert in the glovebox of his van – so stunned, in fact, he never questioned how it got there.

Erika and Walker received bundles of manga catered to their individual preferences – Erika got a copious amount of yaoi and shounen-ai (perhaps in an attempt to engage and distract those tendencies of hers from certain real life men) and Walker got space operas and magical girl sagas.

Kyohei received a variety of inks and parchments, which surprised and pleased him: not very many people knew about his habit of painting.

Akabayashi was still enjoying his mysterious gift, though no one knew what that was.

Akane Awakusu, whom Izaya knew was in some of form of 'love' or 'admiration' with/of Shizuo, received a book on understanding the psychology of people with anger issues called ' _A Walk in Their Shoes'._ Izaya himself had no desire to read this, as he felt he could come to the conclusions the book had on his own.

Rokujo and his harem of 'honeys' (something Izaya found amusing and distasteful all at once, like a sweet and sour candy) received a date at a fancy, trendy restaurant in town, since Izaya didn't think he'd wronged Rokujo much, if at all. But he supposed he should cover all of his bases.

Seiiji and Mika got sent on a field trip – all expenses paid – to track Seiiji's beloved head in America. Izaya didn't know its exact location, only rumors, or he might've just taken the damn thing back and let Seiiji have at it when he felt like it. And whatever made Seiiji made Mika happy. This was that strange form of sacrifice Taiyo had discussed with Izaya. It still puzzled Izaya.

Namie had also once gone to America, following Seiiji and Mika on their first unsuccessful hunt for the head. Izaya figured the demented, obsessive love Namie had for Seiiji would lead her after them again, so he supported her in this endeavor by informing her of their trip and paying for her fare and hotel stays. Izaya could think of nothing that would make her happier – at least that he could give her.

Vorona wasn't one of Izaya's favorite humans, but he didn't altogether despise her. Consequently, he gave her a certificate to purchase modifications for her prized Triumph Daytona 675R at the best body shop in town. He'd be damned if he supported yet another woman's fascination with Shizuo, plus …

He knew Tom Tanaka was quite fond of the former assassin. He wouldn't encourage her interest in Shizuo (Izaya didn't quite realize this, but he also found her interest in Shizuo much more vexing than Akane's), but he would help Tom out with his in Vorona. Consequently, Tom and Vorona were sent on a trip together to the Tokyo National Museum of Nature and Science. Izaya knew this would fascinate her, and Tom would be able to help answer her questions while simultaneously being impressed by her knowledge and beauty.

Simon and Dennis were each sent on a different fishing trip while the other minded the shop; Dennis went on a charted sea fishing trip, while Simon got to have an all day river fishing excursion. The thing Simon didn't know was that Izaya had planted ample large fish in all of his destinations and provided him with specially modified bait. When Simon returned home with his large haul (both in size and number), he was pretty pleased with himself. Izaya let him believe his own skill and patience had been rewarded.

Ruri and Kasuka, whom were now living together in his apartment, were gifted with accessories for their most beloved, shared belonging: Dokusonmaru. Izaya wasn't immune to animals, and cats were a personal favorite, so he wasn't displeased to shop for one. Dokusonmaru had all sorts of new toys, treats, and one of the fanciest cat houses money could afford and that could fit in an apartment. Yet from what Izaya could tell, the cat still preferred to sit on laps and heads. This made him shake his head and smile.

As of yet, Izaya had yet to deliver on his promise of a gift for Shinra and Celty, as he hadn't decided on what exactly he could gift Shizuo Heiwajima with. He honestly didn't even know how he'd go about approaching him. Instead, he continued to probe Taiyo online, and he was starting to wonder who he really was. He'd listed some interests that didn't seem to match Izaya's idea of Shizuo, but he still felt deep down that it was him: the lazy way of writing and his anger at the frequent 'undeliverable message' errors were all-too typical of Shizuo. He would also abruptly leave conversations with simple sentences and seemed to get bored when too many words were used.

Since Izaya didn't know exactly what to get Shizuo, he thought he'd start sending him lots of small gifts. The thought of Shizuo coming home to find mysterious packages on his doorstep amused Izaya. Would he be surprised? Miffed? Pleased? Would he think he had a secret admirer?

In the end, this was such an exciting prospect rife with opportunity for observation that Izaya practically became a hand-rubbing villain with an equally mischievous smile.

Izaya was nearby to see when Shizuo arrived home to the first package. He sat in a nearby café with binoculars, wearing shades and a hat. It was the most basic of disguises, but Shizuo wasn't on high alert and was lackadaisically walking home with his hands in his pockets like usual.

When he saw the small brown package on his doorstep, he stopped and bent down to read the label. It was addressed to him with a return address of 'Kakure Fan,' which roughly translated, meant 'hidden fan' – akin to a secret admirer. Shizuo had so many he wouldn't know who it was from.

Izaya had also bugged Shizuo's doorway with a listening device so he could hear what he said. The first thing he said upon receiving his gift was, "Huh?" Then he shook it.

"Is this a prank?" Shizuo muttered. He looked around. Izaya ducked back in the corner of his booth and swapped his binoculars for a book. He glanced at Shizuo from the corners of his eyes.

Shizuo shrugged and entered his home. Izaya had been surprised that Shizuo had moved from his small apartment to a slightly larger and much cozier one room mansion. It was a nice little building right on the street, not too far from Shizuo's work. He must have moved to shorten his walk.

Izaya lost his visual at this point, but he'd taken the time to place other audio bugs around the perimeter of the apartment. It was rather ironic that Izaya didn't know he was being monitored by a few of Akabayashi's associates, nor did he recognize Anri in a bookstore that was near Shizuo's apartment. Both of them were, after all, still being monitored per Celty's request.

Celty, as a matter of fact, was enjoying the unimpaired use of her laptop now that Izaya had stepped out. Shinra, of course, had a million things that he wanted to do with her. They'd managed a few, but Celty was currently distracted by a text conversation she was sharing with Anri.

[So he's at a café catty-corner to Shizuo's place?]

{Yes. I'm two buildings away at the bookstore. He seems to be watching with binoculars. Shizuo received a package and walked inside with it.}

[Hmm. I hope it's a gift, not a bomb or something.]

{He shook it and nothing happened. Izaya's still sitting there with a little smirk on his face.}

[Well, he did nice things for the rest of you. But this IS Shizuo, so …]

(Hey, Celty, my guys checked it out. He opened it and nothing happened. No explosions, no gas, nothing shady as far as they can tell.)

[Oh, hi Mr. Akabayashi! So you're there too?] She sent this as a mass message, involving Anri in the thread.

(Nah, I'm out enjoying my gift, but I have eyes and ears there. Shizuo's pretty befuddled, but he's safe.)

[Will you ever tell us what that gift IS?]

(Maybe one day, if you're good :P)

[Can either of you tell what the gift is?]

{I can't see Shizuo anymore. Izaya's cackling like a witch though. Everyone in the café is staring at him.}

(My guys saw it. I don't think it's that bad, or that funny. But apparently Shizuo's confused by it. Izaya must have ears on him, too.)

[What is it?]

This was currently what Shizuo was puzzling over. When he'd opened the package, he'd seen what looked like a carton of cigarettes. They weren't his brand though, or any he'd ever heard of.

"Poison?" he'd wondered aloud, assuming someone meant to kill him. He opened the carton and immediately got a whiff of a sweet scent. When he unwrapped the plastic from the tray of cigarettes, the scent strengthened.

He pulled a cigarette out between his fingers. He was immediately surprised by how soft it was. When he put it in his mouth it tasted oddly sweet.

In fact, it seemed as if it started to melt.

Yet Shizuo went for his lighter and tried to light the tip anyway. He succeeded in melting it off.

"Huh?"

White fell in a little glob onto his vest. This irked him because it was now clinging to his clothes and not wiping away easily. It was sticky, sort of like candle wax.

He realized as the filter end within his mouth continued to melt that this was no regular cigarette. He bit down.

"Chocolate?" he muttered.

He ate the rest of it, feeling somewhat silly for chewing on what looked like a cigarette. But it was white chocolate with a milk chocolate tip. It was actually pretty good. So he sat down and ate seven of them.

Izaya giggled in delight at the images his mind conjured from Shizuo's irked and puzzled commentary. But in the end it seemed like the gift had been a success, even if Shizuo hadn't put too much thought into who'd sent it to him.

It crept into Izaya's mind insidiously: the realization that he'd just enjoyed giving Shizuo Heiwajima a gift. One that had made him happy.

Before Shizuo could blurt out that he'd gotten any gifts to Izaya, Akane had hijacked his chat handle and neglected to mention this to Izaya. Izaya had tried to ask if 'Taiyo' had gotten a gift, but Akane had denied this.

'Are you sure?' Izaya had typed as Chrome.

'Nope. Musta gotten lost in the mail,' Akane typed as Taiyo.

When Shizuo really logged on, Akabayashi worked with Namie to monitor their conversation and the threads Shizuo tried to type to Chrome about his gift were all deleted. Shizuo got so mad he simply hit the power button on the laptop and stalked away before he broke it. Unfortunately, he had broken the power button itself.

There was a short delay in further communications between Shizuo and Izaya, but Akane kept the relationship between Taiyo and Chrome going. She tried hard to type as if she was in Shizuo's shoes herself; Izaya's gift to her, unbeknownst to him, had aided in this deception.

But she also threw a few misleading things into the conversation. Mentions of family members that Shizuo wasn't known to have, of trips to places Shizuo wouldn't have gone to, of friends that Akane had completely made up. Her version of Shizuo said things _like_ Shizuo would say them, but not what Shizuo would actually say.

Izaya had concluded that Taiyo was possibly multiple people, or one person with a personality disorder, or maybe even a person who liked to pretend to type like another person. It had thrown him off, but he was still enjoying it. Shizuo was irked that he was unable to ask Chrome if the gifts he was getting were from them; every time he tried, the chat would crash. Shizuo was starting to hate the chat program because of this, which discouraged the gang who were trying to patch up his relationship with Izaya.

Consequently, Akabayashi changed it so the messages went through on Shizuo's end, but the error popped up on Izaya's. When Izaya started receiving messages saying 'unable to receive message,' he began to get annoyed.

"Celty," he would complain, "I think your computer has a virus or something. I can't get certain chat messages. Do you want me to get you an anti-virus?"

Celty denied this offer, knowing she didn't have a virus, but Izaya continued to get perturbed by the fact that he was being sent messages he was unable to read.

Shizuo received other gifts, like suntan lotion with a note that said, 'As much as red suits your temperament, you should protect your skin! :p' He also got nicotine patches and chewing gum with a note that said, 'Smoking is bad for your skin and voice, and I don't want you to get cancer and die! Try this for me, okay? J'

Surprisingly, Shizuo started to wear suntan lotion when he went out. He also wore patches under his clothes and chewed the gum rather abundantly. When he started to walk around without cigarettes, people talked. Was he quitting, they wondered? Was he sick? Did he have a girlfriend who didn't like kissing him with cigarette breath?

Eventually he got clothes (Izaya had figured out his sizes rather easily). 'You should wear things besides your work uniform. Who knows? You might look cute in them!' When Shizuo went on outings with friends, or out to purchase groceries, he wore these clothes: khaki board shorts and a clean, pale blue button-down shirt. It wasn't a huge change style-wise, but it was huge for him. Everyone started to think he was dating someone – everyone who didn't know the truth, that was.

Izaya didn't even know that anyone knew he was sending these gifts. This was partly why he so delighted in doing it. He enjoyed being a warped sort of Santa for Shizuo, and seeing if Shizuo would use and utilize these gifts. He was baffled that 'Taiyo' claimed not to have received any, but he'd come to the conclusion that Shizuo might've been too embarrassed to say anything.

Despite everyone's attempts, Izaya was either too attuned to Shizuo or wanted so badly to believe it was him that he innately believed Taiyo was Shizuo. Shizuo, on the other hand, had no idea who anybody was in the chat room other than Setton.

Shizuo suspected whomever Chrome was had been sending him the gifts, but he didn't mind. He had been confused at first, and maybe a little irked, but eventually he was pleased to find a little surprise at his doorstep. Soon he started to look forward to it, and it even brought a smile to his face. In a strange way, it was bringing him peace.

Finally, Celty called for another meeting. This time she and the representatives, Simon, Mika, Mikado, Akane, Kasuka and Erika, met at Kasuka's. Ruri was off on a photoshoot, but everyone was pleased to see an adorable cat, and Dokusonmaru was especially fond of Simon because he smelled like fish.

"Your cat like me, Kasuka!" Simon said with a wide smile as Dokusonmaru crawled up his leg. He grabbed the cat gently with one hand and placed him on his shoulder, where Dokusonmaru purred contentedly. It brought a smile to everyone's face.

 **[Thanks for coming, everyone. And thank you to Kasuka for hosting us today.]**

"No problem, Miss Celty," Kasuka acknowledged. "My brother is actually pretty happy these days."

"I think it's so cute!" Mika said with a dreamy smile. "He looks like how I imagine I must look while latched onto Seiiji's arm."

"Content," Akane agreed with a nod. "He's happy that someone cares enough for him to send him gifts. He's also enjoying talking to Izaya online a lot."

"Can you see what Mr. Akabayashi sees?" Mikado asked.

Akane shook her head. "He likes being one of the only two who can read their chat logs. He told me a little of what they talked about so I knew for my own conversations with Izaya, though."

"So what do you think?" Erika asked, the idea clearly making her giddy. "Are they falling into i-love?"

"I-love?"

"Internet love! I mean, what does Izaya ask? How does he talk to Taiyo?"

"Well, I think he might suspect it's Shizuo," Mikado said. "He's really astute when it comes to observing behavioral patterns. Even if Akane is clever, he talks to Taiyo the way I'd imagine Izaya would talk to Shizuo if he suspected Shizuo didn't know it was him."

"I agree," Akane said. "When it's me, he keeps the guise up, but he types less often. Mr. Akabayashi says he doesn't seem to stop when Shizuo is online for real."

 **[But that isn't bad, right? He's not saying anything mean or cluing Shizuo into his identity.]**

"I think he's enjoying it," Mikado said. "He probably gets off on the fact that he thinks – correctly – it's Shizuo but Shizuo doesn't know it's him. It's a way for him to control Shizuo he never had before."

"The gifts too," Mika agreed with an emphatic nod. "I used to give all of my crushes gifts like that. I mean, it's one thing to give the guy you like a gift or two, but he's given him at least four, and they're the kind of things I'd give: things that change the way they live their life, like they're showing them off. It's a way of control, too, dictating the clothes they wear, what they eat, if they take care of their body …"

"Mika is expert on this," Simon said with a firm nod. He tickled Dokusonmaru's chin. "Izaya enjoy control over Shizuo's life. But as long as Shizuo happy and Izaya happy, not bad, no? No one is hurt or angry."

"In a strange way," Kasuka said thoughtfully, "I think Shizuo is happy to go home and let someone else lead the direction his life is going. He's so used to using force in work and when he's around other people that he enjoys going home and not having to think too much. He enjoys peace and quiet."

 **[Sure, this is working from afar … but even if Izaya knows Taiyo is Shizuo and he's giving him gifts, he doesn't know that** ** _we_** **know. And Shizuo, if he ever finds out Chrome is Izaya and those gifts were from him … he'll feel betrayed. He'll think Izaya was pulling him along. Then there's no chance of reconciliation.]**

"Izaya's been doing such nice things for people, and I think he's enjoying it." Mikado smiled at Celty. "I think he's enjoying the interaction he's having with Shizuo – for the first time. And really, this is the first time Shizuo's ever enjoyed interaction with him. But it is tricky … We have to make Izaya realize he likes interacting with Shizuo. To make him believe it."

"Mikado's right," Mika agreed. "If he believes it, if he means it, Shizuo has no choice but to believe it too. I have no idea how he'll feel finding out that Chrome is Izaya, probably betrayed at first, but in the end he'll think back to those happy smiles and the feeling their conversations and Izaya's gifts inspired. He'll miss them if they go away."

"He's always wanted someone to care for him this way," Kasuka said with a smile, but no one could tell he was smiling. "In a strange way, Izaya is nurturing him. And I think Izaya is the sort of person who enjoys having an effect on people."

"Now that Izaya experience good feeling happiness give others, maybe he enjoy giving people happiness instead of misery," Simon explained, sitting and moving Dokusonmaru to his lap. "Including Shizuo. Both need friendship, and perhaps happy feelings influence Shizuo to forgive Izaya. Perhaps to help him understand that Izaya crave friendship too? Ouch! No knead, kitty!"

 **[You're right, everyone. We've got to open Shizuo up to the idea of Izaya changing. We need to explain to him that Izaya is a person too, a person who's changing and still discovering what they want in life.]**

 _Like I was …_ Celty realized. She experienced a sudden swell of unexpected empathy for the infobroker.

 **[Izaya's already doing a lot better. He doesn't need the wheelchair, and he's leaving the apartment on his own. And in a way, it's because of Shizuo. He's been a catalyst for Izaya, and Izaya was his own obstacle for happiness. So our duty is to say to Shizuo what Izaya would have a hard time saying. Shizuo trusts us, right?]**

"You're the best one to do it," Kasuka suggested. "He's never annoyed by you. I might not anger him, but he doesn't think I know Izaya well enough to mean what I say. You do."

"You're such a mother, Celty!" Erika insisted. "And if this all works out, you'll be a matchmaker too!"

"But Izaya talks so much," Mikado debated. "He uses words for everything. Shizuo is much more simple. He likes peace and quiet. Even if we get them to see eye to eye, in the end they're just not that compatible."

"Don't ignore the opposites attract trope, Mikabuu!" Erika argued back, holding up a finger informatively. "Izaya talks and Shizuo listens. At least he will once he cares about what Izaya has to say. Look at what's happening with them in the chat room, right? Besides, you're not talking all that much when you're making that sweet love!"

Celty flattened her palm against her helmet and shook her head, trying to force the images away. They were almost like a demon that needed to be exorcised.

 _What if I get possessed by that boy's love thing Erika's so into? I'll need to call in a priest!_

Celty was frightened by the concept of her mind conjuring images she couldn't control – images she didn't want to see. Moreso, starting to _want_ to see such images.

 _It'll never happen! Love is love, and it's great, and I want love and happiness for everyone, but I do_ not _need to imagine_ _ **that**_ _!_

"Celty?" Mikado asked, waving a hand in front of her.

"Uh oh, you were zoning out, Celchan! Off in a boys' love dreamland, huh?" Erika snickered. "I'll have yet another convert on my hands, heh heh …"

Celty shook her head fervently. **No, no! I just want them to be friends, or at the very least not want to murder each other anymore. I'll talk to Shizuo. In the meantime, Izaya will keep sending him gifts and they'll keep bonding online. I know it sounds weird, but I think we should start letting some hints slip to Shizuo that Chrome is Izaya. If he has the subconscious idea that he is, just like Izaya has about Taiyo being him, he may be more open to the reveal.**

"Eventually they have to meet in person," Simon brought up. "Should they meet before or after Shizuo realize Izaya talking to him online and sending him gifts?"

Simon had brought up a good point.

"Maybe … maybe they should be in a room together but not interact?" Mikado suggested. "Like we should engineer something where they bump into one another?"

"That's my job, right?" Mika asked. "Me and Seiiji and Sis?"

"And mine too," Simon agreed. "Me, Dennis, Tom and Vorona are supposed to engineer way for them to meet."

Mika folded her arms. "Hmm. I know it might be a lot of work, but it could also be a lot of fun: how about a carnival?"

"That's an excellent trope, too," Erika agreed, smacking a fist into her palm. "Carnivals are a great way to bring unlikely people together. It also provides plenty of situations for them to indirectly interact. They can walk right by one another without having to talk, or see each other buying sweets or playing games. Then they can stare at each other all day and we'll let the UST work itself out."

"UST?" Mikado asked.

"Unresolved sexual tension," Akane informed him.

Erika patted her head fondly. "I've initiated her into my ranks, as you can see. Soon, you'll be one of us too, Celchan!"

Celty sighed inwardly. **[A carnival sounds great, Mika. Let's all get together and plan soon. I'll talk to Shizuo then.]**

Celty was looking forward to the day she didn't have to plan so much. But she was also looking forward to the carnival. They'd get Izaya out of the apartment, and she could still spend time with Shinra.

After they left Kasuka's, she put her hands together and prayed.

 _Please don't ruin all of our progress, Shizuo._


	6. The Carnival Commences!

**6\. The Carnival Commences!**

It took a bit of time to get the carnival planned, but in the end, everyone was rather game for it. Akabayashi and Akane even managed to convince her father to contribute, and with his financial contributions and personal connections, they got rides set up. They rented the event space in front of the Ikebukuro Station West exit and set up within a week.

The men worked on helping with the rides; Simon proved especially valuable in this. The women helped work on the games and food stalls. Celty oversaw the project, and as it started to come together, her own excitement crescendoed to a peak. She was positively giddy about the thought of riding the rides, playing the games, and even the traditional calliope music.

She wasn't too keen on what was called the 'UFO' ride, but the bumper cars, carousel and ferris wheel were exciting to her. There was also a fun house, a duck pond game, a weight guessing game, darts and balloons, and the strength testing bell and mallet (which she was sure Shizuo and Simon would excel at). They had stuffed animals for prizes and a few food stands with things like cotton candy, yakitori, beer (they had fun getting approval for that), yakisoba, chocolate bananas, and corn on a stick.

Fortunately, they had plenty of helping hands. Ruri was an especially big draw, so she ran the ticket booth along with Kasuka. Tom, Vorona, Simon and Dennis worked at the food stalls, while Namie was the ride attendant for the carousel, Shingen was the attendant for the UFO ride (Celty did this on purpose so she could avoid both at once), Saburo was the bumper car attendant (because he enjoyed driving them so much), and Erika attended the ferris wheel.

Emilia ran the darts, Masaomi decided he'd guess weights, Mikado ran the fun house, Anri the duck pond, and Walker the strength test.

Kyohei, Rokujo, Akane and Akabayashi, Mairu and Kururi, and Seiiji and Mika attended to general things like maintenance and assistance, and they would rotate out with the others when they needed breaks.

Shinra's job was to escort Izaya, and Celty's was to escort Shizuo. These were the two most important jobs, as they were basically steering them around each other and needed to be in constant communication about one another's location.

When the day arrived, it was sunny and breezy – in other words, a perfect day. Mikiya Awakusu was more than happy with the turnout his investment had produced, especially since most of his employees were volunteers.

When Shizuo showed up to meet Celty outside his apartment (Shinra and Izaya rode with Shingen), he was dressed quite casually and his sunburned skin had mostly peeled away like a snake's skin. He had sunglasses on, a button-down shirt, and board shorts. He was chewing gum, Celty noticed with a smile on the inside.

 _Something good that Izaya did, finally._

"Yo," Shizuo greeted, climbing on behind her. "This is pretty exciting. I haven't been to a carnival in ages."

Celty nodded, focused on steering.

"Nice of you to invite me," Shizuo said along the way. "Anyone I know gonna be there?"

She nodded again.

"You'll have to tell me who when we get there."

He sighed, his hands digging into her sides. "I'm kinda looking forward to it."

His fingers tightened abruptly. "Will _he_ be there?"

Celty shrugged. She didn't really want to get into an accident right now.

Shizuo's fingers relaxed. "Well, whatever. It's been a month and I haven't heard a thing from him. Guess he's leaving well enough alone. If he is there, I'll try to keep my cool as long as he keeps away from me."

That was a relief to Celty's metaphorical ears.

In a way, it was sort of the beginning of Shizuo's acceptance of Izaya's presence in the city.

This was a good sign.

When they arrived, Shizuo got off of the bike and gaped. "Wow … you guys put all of this together?"

[With some help,] Celty typed. She had an impulsive idea that surprised even her. [It was Chrome's idea. They thought you'd enjoy it.]

"What?" Shizuo's brow furrowed and he stopped chewing his gum. "This isn't all for me. No way."

[Well, not _all_ for you. But it was Chrome's idea because they were thinking of something you might enjoy.]

Shizuo shook his head, dumbfounded. "That's … wow. Say, Celty, have they been sending me bunches of gifts too?"

Celty shrugged. [I can't say. I didn't even know you were getting gifts!]

 _I'm a terrible liar._

"Really?" Shizuo questioned as they approached the ticket booth. "I thought I told you. Oh well. Yeah. Oh, hey Kasuka!"

"Hello, Shizuo," Kasuka greeted in his usual cheery manner (Shizuo could tell, at least). "Two?"

"Yeah. Please. Hey, Ruri."

"Hello, Shizuo. Celty." Ruri smiled the enigmatic smile of a porcelain doll. She tore off two tickets from the roll. "No charge. Enjoy, you two."

"We'll try to get someone to cover our break and meet up with you later," Kasuka added, waving.

"Later," Shizuo said with the customary intimacy of a dialogue with his brother. But he smiled, and this was heartwarming to Celty.

[Where are you?] she quickly typed to Shinra.

A reply flashed back quickly. [Izaya wanted to grab food first. We're over at Simon's stall.]

[Good. We just got here. I'll circle around the other way. He's in a good mood; fingers crossed.]

[Izaya too, surprisingly. I got him to walk without crutches. He's holding onto me now and then, but I think he's doing a lot better. He's not being so cynical, either.]

"Who're you texting?" Shizuo asked as they walked.

[Shinra.]

"Cool. We meeting up with him?"

Celty wondered when she should broach the subject and decided she hated tension.

[He's here with Izaya. So maybe it's best to stay apart for now.]

Shizuo tensed. "Yeah? So you knew, huh?"

Celty typed a reply quickly before Shizuo's anger could rise. [I didn't want us to wreck then! Besides, Izaya's been really down lately. He needs to get out and have fun, too.]

Shizuo sniffed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I thought you hated him, too."

[He's changed a lot. He's been doing nice things for people to apologize for what he's done in the past. He … he was really injured by you. Mentally, too.]

Shizuo was silent while they took in the sights. He was thinking. Celty could see him chewing the inside of his mouth, or his gum inside it.

"If you say it, I guess I'll have to trust you. You're a good judge of character."

[I mean it. He's been here a whole month and the only thing he's done to annoy me is hog my laptop.]

She realized then she might've let something slip.

"Eh? What's he do on there?"

[Play games. Surf the 'net. You know, nerdy stuff.]

"It's not like him to not be interacting with people." Shizuo's observation surprised Celty with its accuracy – and that he knew this about Izaya. "You sure he hasn't been in touch with anyone? Up to his old tricks?"

[Not as far as I can tell. He's met up with mostly everyone at Russia Sushi a while back, but he mostly keeps to himself at the apartment. He eats dinner with Shinra and I and watches TV sometimes, too.]

"So he's basically an introvert now? And Shinra brought him out to get him around people?"

[Exactly!]

Shizuo grabbed his stomach. "I could use a drink. Mind if we head to the food stalls?"

Celty nodded, then sent Shinra a frantic text.

[He knows Izaya's here, but he's been surprisingly receptive. He wants a drink. Are you still there?]

[I'll convince Izaya to go play a game or something.]

 _Whew! I'll just keep talking to him while he gets something in his stomach. The beer will help loosen him up, too._

"So what do you feel like doing? Don't you want to hang out with Shinra?"

[Izaya's most comfortable around him. I don't want to make him uncomfortable.]

Shizuo smirked. "You're really mothering him, aren't you? You're too nice."

Celty cocked her head. [He needs it. When Shinra first told me he was coming back, I wasn't happy. But he's been polite and unobstrusive – other than hogging my laptop, that is. He mostly does therapy with Shinra and relaxes at our place. He hasn't bothered anybody else, either.]

Shizuo stopped walking abruptly. "Say, Celty – you said he was making it up to people, right?"

She nodded.

"By what, giving them gifts? Apologizing?"

Uh oh. He was connecting the dots.

[He's avoiding you on purpose. He's scared of you, you know.]

Shizuo's muscles relaxed. "Well, that's good. As long as he's not bugging me."

They walked over to the food stalls. Shizuo's face brightened when he saw Tom and Vorona. He waved in greeting.

"Hey! You guys are working?"

"Good to see you, man," Tom said with a lopsided grin. His hair was tied back since he was working the yakitori stand.

"Hello, Mr. Shizuo. I apologize for the other day," Vorona said, bowing her head.

Shizuo clicked his tongue. "Think nothing of it. I'm over it now."

"Are you chewing gum, man?" Tom asked, squinting. "You giving up cigarettes?"

Shizuo grabbed a napkin and spat the gum into it. "I only chew it when I get the urge for one. It helps with my temper, too."

"Is interesting. Perhaps repetitive motion of chewing helps with blood pressure," Vorona observed. "Shizuo is wearing new clothes. Also, now wearing sunblock after suffering hideous sunburn upon return from vacation."

Shizuo scratched his head. "Yeah. It was pretty bad. You like the new clothes?"

Vorona nodded. "Is nice change from bartender uniform. I'm not used to it, but is … refreshing."

"Speaking of refreshing," Shizuo went over to Dennis, "Can I get a beer, Dennis?"

While he was ordering, Celty texted a message to Tom and Vorona. [I have no idea why, but I told him Chrome had the idea to do all of this! Plus he knows Izaya is here.]

"And he's still here?" Tom whispered. "That's impressive. Must be your calming presence."

"What is 'Chrome'?" Vorona asked.

[It's an online alias Izaya uses in chat-rooms,] Celty texted. [He's been using it to talk to Shizuo.]

Vorona's eyebrows quirked. "I cannot picture this. They get along online?"

[Funny enough, they seem to. They get on rather well, actually.]

"Perhaps is Izaya's face Shizuo hates," Vorona mused.

Celty stepped aside as a line formed behind her. Shizuo returned to her with a beer in hand. "Ready to go? What you wanna check out?"

[It'd be pretty funny if you did the strength test.]

Shizuo snorted. "I'd knock the bell clean off. You really want me destroying what you guys all worked so hard on?"

[I suppose not. Well, how about a ride?]

"The UFO ride looks pretty fun …" Shizuo paused when he saw Celty tense. "Oh, yeah. I forgot you have a complex about that stuff. Maybe the carousel?"

Celty nodded empathically. [Yes, yes, it'll be just like riding Shooter!]

It was while Celty and Shizuo were on the carousel that Shinra and Izaya walked by them. Celty had been so freaked out by the idea of riding the UFO that she'd forgotten to text Shinra. Consequently, she was wondering why she felt like she'd forgotten something while the horses loped in circles attached to poles.

"Throwing darts might be good for your coordination," Shinra suggested to Izaya, but Izaya smelled something familiar.

He recognized the cologne as something he'd sent Shizuo recently. But Shinra didn't know this, nor did Celty. Then he saw a flash of light blue and blond hair in front of Celty's unmistakable helmet.

He nudged Shinra in the arm. "Is that … Shizuo and Celty?"

Shinra glanced up at the carousel. "Oh, you're right! Doesn't she look adorable up there? Like a sexy little girl!"

Izaya wasn't sure he'd ever heard Shinra say something that creepy before, but he was too distracted to criticize him. He was frozen in place, like a deer that had been locked onto by a predator.

He was tickled to see Shizuo in clothes and wearing cologne that he'd bought him, but he'd been comfortable with seeing him from afar. Suddenly the last time they'd been together echoed in his mind: the impact of his fists, the snaps and cracks of bones, the taste of blood in his mouth.

He reached out and grabbed Shinra's coat sleeve like a child clinging to his parent.

"You okay, Izaya? Look, he hasn't seen you, so let's just keep walking-"

Something strange happened while Shinra was speaking. The carousel seemed to slow so that everything but Shizuo was a blur. Then the calliope music faded out and something else played: a syrupy American song.

While the world slowed to the tune of this song, Shizuo and Izaya locked eyes for the first time in years. Mairu and Kururi crouched in the booth where they'd plugged in their IPod. They'd picked this song for just this moment, hoping to use it as a way to program the syrupy sentiments of it into their brother and Shizuo.

Why do birds suddenly appear  
Every time you are near?  
Just like me, they long to be  
Close to you

Why do stars fall down from the sky  
Every time you walk by?  
Just like me, they long to be  
Close to you

"What the hell is with THIS SONG?" Shizuo roared from the carousel.

Izaya stepped back, still clinging to Shinra for dear life. His heart thudded in his chest and his throat had dried.

Shizuo made a comical sight hopping off of a carousel horse with a beer in his hand, but Izaya was too frightened to appreciate the humor. Celty hurried after him, trying to run in between him and Izaya.

Kyohei, who'd been busing a table at the picnic area, paused and stared at the surreal scene. Rokujo, who'd been helping him (chatting more than helping, really) froze beside him.

"Shit's about to go _down_ , my man."

Shizuo walked up to Izaya and looked down at him. His eyes glazed over Izaya's shaking hand where it held onto Shinra's coat in a death grip. His skin had visibly paled, but he tried to force a smile onto his face. It came off as sheepish, and it took all he had to make his eyes line up with Shizuo's.

Shizuo wasn't infuriated by this smile. He was puzzled by it. He was oblivious to Celty's insistent tugging on his arm.

"You're walking," he said to Izaya.

"That's a nice cologne you have on, Shizuo," was Izaya's reply.

Shizuo was agitated by the change in subject, but Izaya's smile wasn't that shit-eating grin he was used to. He recognized fear – it was a common reaction to him – and he knew then that Celty had been telling him the truth.

A strange emotion overcame him at the sight of Izaya.

Pity.

"It was a gift," Shizuo replied. The cloying words of the American song started to take their toll. "What the hell is this song? I can't understand it!"

"I-it's a song about a girl who longs to be close to a guy," Izaya, who knew English, answered. "It's a silly song to play at a carnival in Japan."

Celty and Shinra exchanged a glance, realizing this was the closest thing to a conversation Izaya and Shizuo had had in real life. At least one where they weren't fighting.

Namie had a prime view of it from her spot as carousel attendant, and she was too distracted to care about allowing people on. Part of her wanted to see Shizuo destroy Izaya, but another part of her pitied him just like Shizuo.

"Yeah, it is," Shizuo agreed.

"I'm not here to cause trouble," Izaya insisted.

"I don't think you could if you wanted to, in that condition," Shizuo agreed. "But Celty here has been saying pretty nice things on your behalf. Are they true?"

Izaya nodded. "I don't have any interest in that kind of thing right now."

"Any more," Shizuo corrected. "You won't get into that kind of trouble any more. Or we'll have a problem again."

Izaya swallowed. "We don't now?"

"I settled that account when I owned your ass." Shizuo folded his arms. "And as smart as I know you are, you figured out it's best to leave me alone now, right?"

Izaya hesitated. "The 1%, Shizuo … do you think you can trust it?"

Shizuo hadn't broken their gaze or even blinked, and Izaya remembered the 6 second rule of eye contact. "I trust Celty. And she trusts you. So that means I want to. So if you have anything to tell me, you'd better do it."

Celty and Shinra looked at one another uneasily. It was a surreal atmosphere with the sounds of people screaming and laughing on rides and the smells of festival food. Not to mention the overly saccharine song that was now in its second chorus.

Izaya struggled with being put on the spot and his natural urge to protect himself with words, which he knew infuriated Shizuo.

"A-are you … Taiyo?"

Shizuo's eyes widened and Izaya instantly realized he'd been right the whole time. He also saw that Shizuo had experienced his own realization.

"You're Chrome."

Celty put her hands on her helmet, covering where her eyes would be.

A vein swelled on Shizuo's temple. "Did you think it was funny, fooling me like that?"

"I didn't know!" Izaya insisted. "Not at first. I only suspected. But I really enjoyed the conversation, so I kept talking to … to you." He was frustrated by his weakness, this weakness that was perpetuated by honesty.

"Did you go around telling everyone else about it?" Shizuo asked. He had no issues airing out his issues with Izaya in public. They'd been doing it for years.

"No. Those were really private conversations."

Shizuo looked to Celty, who nodded. In Izaya's mind they had been, at least. If Shizuo found out Akabayashi had read those, he'd never trust anyone again.

"So you cooked this up?" Shizuo asked, referencing Celty's impulsive fib.

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "Cooked what up, exactly?"

"Did you set this up so you could embarrass me in front of everyone?"

"No! You put me on the spot so I answered you!" Izaya finally let go of Shinra's arm. "Listen, there are some things I should probably tell you, but I don't want to do it here in front of everyone and embarrass the both of us."

"Fine. We'll go sit on that." Shizuo pointed to the ferris wheel. Erika, who was attending it, seemed to be feeling a mixture of bewilderment and excitement at Shizuo's decisive pointing.

Izaya stared beyond Shizuo's arm at the rotating machine. "Only if you won't throw me off of it."

"Don't piss me off and I won't."

"Well, don't get mad at irrational things, then. Like if a bug flies on you or something."

Shizuo grimaced. "Fine."

"Listen," Izaya said as Shizuo started to turn, "I can't walk really well on my own yet. You'll have to help me."

Shizuo looked taken aback. "Shinra, is this true?"

Shinra nodded. "Go easy on him. His legs are still weak. Today was the first day I had him walking without crutches. He needs support."

Shizuo sighed deeply and abruptly pulled Izaya's arm around his neck, slinging his own around his mid-section. Izaya flinched, but Shizuo's grip was firm yet gentle – for him.

So Celty, Shinra, Namie, and the rest of them watched something that for them was now more extraordinary than a headless rider or a red-eyed slasher: Shizuo Heiwajima escorting Izaya Orihara over for a ride on the ferris wheel.

Erika was so stunned by it that she didn't even ask them for tickets. Shizuo got frustrated by her gape-mouthed stare and strolled past her, sitting Izaya down in the bucket seat and flopping down beside him. Erika hooked their belts in and kept right on staring in disbelief, eventually shutting the gate. It was rare for her to be dumbstruck into silence.

 _Is my fantasy coming to life? The two of them, alone on a romantic carnival ride at sunset … they'll make up, realize all of that hate was deeply repressed love that made them feel frustrated, and have a passionate kiss!_

The escalating giggling that trickled out from her disturbed Shizuo, and even alarmed Izaya a bit. They were both relieved when she pulled the lever and the ride started to move.

"I'm glad that song ended," Shizuo commented as the calliope music resumed.

"You don't like it because you don't understand it? Sounds like you."

Shizuo glared at Izaya. "So tell me, what didn't you want to say out there in front of everyone?"

Izaya leaned forward and rested his arms on the gate, but Shizuo tapped at them. "That's dangerous. Sit back."

Izaya sighed. "You just want me close so you can throttle me if you don't like what you hear."

Shizuo snorted. "I'd throttle you no matter where you were. Go on."

"So, I've been Chrome since before I left Ikebukuro. Before that, I was Kanra, the chatroom admin. And –"

"Are you always like that online?"

Izaya was annoyed he'd been interrupted. "Like what?"

"Flirty," Shizuo said, looking up at the sky as they slowly ascended. "Or were you just messing with me?"

"Like I said, I wasn't sure it was you. I only suspected. Even so, some of the things you said … they surprised me. About sacrificing your happiness for someone else's. About hurting for someone else. About wanting to be loved." Izaya's earnest admission startled both of them. They looked at one another in silence for a moment.

"Did you mean any of it? What you wrote?" Shizuo asked eventually. Now he was the one to dangle his hands over the edge.

Down below, Simon had been wrangled from his stand by a horrified Celty, who was pointing up at the two of them, fearful one might go tumbling down at any moment. Of course, neither of them could see this from the height they were now at.

"I did. And I have changed. I know you won't believe me, but facing death like that … I faced my darkest fear. I almost died for what I did. And I couldn't keep on doing things like that, things that pissed people off enough to want to kill me."

"You tried to kill me first!" Shizuo shouted, gripping the railing hard enough to make the metal crack. "To make me suffocate on poisonous gas!"

Izaya backed away from Shizuo, pressing his back to the opposite side of the railing. "I was an asshole, okay? I'll bet you never thought you'd hear me say that."

Shizuo's hands relaxed – but only slightly. "No, I didn't. Go on."

"Anyway, you should know that the reason I did what I did was because I was bored and lonely. I'm still bored and lonely – or at least I was until we started talking online. It turns out I was going about trying to connect with people the wrong way, or so Shinra and Celty tell me. That's why I reached out and tried to apologize to them. And seeing how happy I made them – it was still a form of manipulation, it still made me feel good, but it made them happy too. So that's better, right?"

"Manipulating people isn't good. But making people happy is better than trying to kill them or make them kill each other, yes." Shizuo cast a sidelong, suspicious glance at Izaya. "Did you send me all of those gifts, then?"

Izaya cringed. "I was just doing for you what I did for everyone else. But it was so much fun watching you come home to them, and seeing you use them –"

"You just wanted to see how'd I react, huh? Thought it'd be funny to see me strutting around with all that shit you bought me, thinking someone actually cared enough to send it?" Shizuo stood up abruptly and snatched Izaya by the collar. Izaya inhaled and exhaled slowly in an attempt to regulate his heartbeat. He glanced back behind him and saw how high up they were, just past the peak of the treeline, and he instinctively wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck. The gesture threw Shizuo so much he didn't really do anything, but if Izaya had seen his eyes he would've seen them wider than he ever had.

"At first. But then seeing you happy started to make me happy. Shizuo, don't throw me over. I'm so scared to die. I'm scared of the void. I'm scared of you." Something in Izaya snapped, and tears started to fall until there was a steady stream of them sinking into Shizuo's shirt. He clung to Shizuo for dear life – ironic, he realized in that moment, to cling to the man who'd so very nearly brought his existence to an end.

"I've realized … the value of living. And I don't want to … do it alone. If I kept … being how I was … I'd die alone. I almost did."

Shizuo didn't like existential dilemmas or crying because he didn't have enough emotional depth to handle them. He lived his life on the surface of his emotions. But he'd never seen Izaya weak like this, and he knew Izaya was too proud to fake something like this. Not once had he ever seen Izaya cry. He couldn't remember a time he'd seen genuine emotions from Izaya; only that affected, self-satisfied smile.

He had no choice but to stand there and let Izaya cry. He was trapped on the ferris wheel and trapped in his arms. He didn't know what to do with his hands, like put them on Izaya, but he decided this would be too weird and he left them at his side.

He sighed deeply. "I really wish you'd been a cute girl."

Izaya laughed through his tears, vibrating against Shizuo. "I'm sorry. I hope you liked the gifts at least. And enjoyed some of the conversation."

"You know, if you really meant it, then fine. I liked it, and them. But if I find out you were pulling my leg, I'll never talk to you again."

Shizuo was too overwhelmed by the surreal quality of the situation to let anger overwhelm him. He felt like he was dreaming. Perhaps it was the beer. Or maybe the altitude. Maybe it was the music. Or maybe it was Izaya Orihara reduced to a crying, apologizing, shattered man.

Izaya broke away from Shizuo and wiped his face with his sleeve. He looked a little childlike, which made it even harder for Shizuo to be mad. He was starting to experience a little guilt for injuring him to the point he had, but then he remembered Izaya had tried to kill him.

"You owe me the biggest apology of all," he said. "For trying to kill me. Until then, I won't forgive you, but I won't try to kill you. At least as long as you leave me alone."

He watched Izaya's eyes move away from his. They were a warmer brown somehow, like his eyes were softer. They'd lost that hard edge, the taunting quality they'd once had.

"But we can still talk. Online, in person. If you keep buying me stuff, it might be a little weird though."

 _Damn, why was it so easy for him to convince me that he's changed? That he wasn't just fucking with me? Celty softened me up, that's part of it. But I guess deep down I want to believe him. I want to be done with this rivalry. If he means it, then I can be more at peace like I wanted. And it was kinda nice to get gifts from someone … things he thought of for me. I've been a little calmer since I stopped smoking, and it is smart to wear suntan lotion. Plus the clothes are comfortable and the cologne smells nice._

"If you put as much energy into finding ways to apologize to me as you did into trying to kill me, you might win me over," Shizuo conceded.

Izaya finally smiled. Not a cruel smile that didn't reach his eyes, but a sincere smile that lit them up. "I enjoy a challenge."

Shizuo smirked and shook his head. He sat back down and looked up at the orange and gold skyline and treetops as they descended. They were nearly to the bottom again.

"Did you really not have the idea to plan this? Why would Celty say that?"

Izaya shook his head and sat down next to Shizuo. "I have no idea who planned the carnival, but it wasn't me." They looked down at Simon, Shinra and Celty. Then both of them came to a realization simultaneously.

They looked at one another and Izaya said, "You know, I have a feeling that for once, _I've_ been manipulated."

"You think all of them wanted us to get along?" Shizuo asked. "That they wanted us to meet like this?"

Izaya nodded. "But not as a joke or anything. Because it'd be better for both of us, and probably all of them."

"I guess it's because they care about us," Shizuo said. "Fighting like that, well, it wasn't good for either of us."

"It's impressive, if you think about it. All the work they probably put into this scheme. And in the span of a fifteen minute ferris wheel orbit, we've made more progress than we had in years."

"We're not friends or anything," Shizuo said abruptly. "Not yet. But we should try to get along, for them. For the sake of all their work."

"What you said about the gift itself not mattering, but more-so the intent, I think that applies here." Izaya shut his eyes and let the wind caress his face. "They've given us a gift, you know. This moment right now, the sunset and the breeze against my hair, and this feeling of relief that you're next to me not trying to kill me … it's pretty priceless."

"As long as you don't annoy me," Shizuo started to say, making Izaya open his eyes, "we can walk around the carnival together. I'll help you."

Izaya knew this was Shizuo's form of apology. In a way, it was touching. He was surprised Shizuo even experienced guilt as an emotion. But he'd never been able to figure Shizuo out, not exactly. Now was as good a time as any.

"Their eyes will bug out of their heads when they see that," Izaya said with a laugh. "I wonder what they thought would happen?"

Shizuo's lips tugged up into a half-smile. "They probably thought I'd have finished what I started by now."

Izaya's smile shrank from a mixture of the reminder of his defeat and fear. Shizuo's intense gaze mellowed when he caught the change in Izaya's expression.

"This is weird. I'm not used to that expression on your face. You've got nothing to worry about so long as you don't piss me off." Shizuo stared off into the distance. "But for their sakes, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

The ride slowed to an end and Erika approached to let them off. She started for their belts but Shizuo brushed her off.

"I got it."

Izaya unstrapped himself and was surprised to find Shizuo's hands gripping his own hand and side to assist him to a standing position.

He didn't much like the wide-eyed stare Erika was giving them, nor the strange flash of heat that surged through his body. Was it embarrassment? That he couldn't even walk right now without Shizuo Heiwajima's help? The man who'd damaged him to this point to begin with.

"I had no idea those brutish hands could be so gentle," Izaya quipped to distract himself from his own thoughts.

Shizuo's hands tightened around Izaya's skin, making him cringe and groan. "Do you think I'm like that all of the time? I don't pick up my brother's cat and automatically crush it."

"Well, please don't crush me, then."

Shizuo's grip loosened. "Sorry. I can't tell when you're saying things just to get a rise out of me."

"Ah, you're so used to it that you're going to assume everything I say is with that intent behind it." Izaya pointed in the direction of the carnival games. "Maybe you should vent some frustration at one of those."

The people who didn't know them milled about enjoying themselves. Those who did were frozen in disbelief and fear, anticipating the bomb to explode at any second.

Celty and Shinra ran up to them before Shizuo could reply.

"Izaya, are you okay?" Shinra asked, visibly concerned.

This agitated Shizuo. "What the hell do you think I'm doing? Holding him captive?"

Izaya waved a hand to dismiss Shinra's concern. "Shizuo's helping me just like you were. You'd like to spend some time with Celty, surely."

Celty typed a message on her PDA. [That's sweet of you to consider, but we shouldn't burden Shizuo.]

Shizuo snickered. "I know you too well, Celty. You're scared I'll blow up and crush the – Izaya. This is what you wanted, right? For me to give him a chance? So let me do it."

"If you're sure, Shizuo," Shinra assented. He reached out to grip Celty's free hand. "I'd be more than happy to spend some time with my beloved Celty while you spend some with your … hm … what would Izaya be now? Is he still an enemy?"

Celty tugged her hand free and elbowed Shinra.

"That remains to be seen," Shizuo replied, readjusting his grip as Izaya slid a bit.

Izaya was unable to restrain a natural giggle. Everyone looked at him, curious.

"I'm ticklish there," he admitted reluctantly, pointing to his side, which Shizuo's hand had brushed. "Don't tell anyone. I'm weak enough as it is."

"If you piss me off, I'll tickle you," Shizuo said, trying to find a way to irk Izaya that wouldn't hurt him and concern Celty and the others. He'd seen the physical results of his strength before, but not a complete physiological change like Izaya was exhibiting. In other words, Shizuo was stunned a little silly by Izaya's broken will.

"See, Celty, all we have to worry about is a little tickle fight. And those can be fun, can't they?" Shinra asked with a creepy smile. Celty punched him in the arm.

[Don't you dare allude to anything personal, Shinra!]

Shizuo threw up a hand. "At any rate, I want to go drag Izaya over to the games. See you guys later."

Shinra and Celty watched them walk away. Celty would've rubbed her eyes if she had any; it felt like a mirage was glimmering before her.

Shinra had less trouble believing his own eyes. He slung an arm around her slender shoulders and pressed his head to her helmet with a sigh. "It's like watching our son go on his first date, isn't it? It's so hard to let go, but you're also so proud of him …"

Celty jerked away from Shinra. [Cut it out! I'm just scared something will go wrong. What do you think happened on the ferris wheel? I saw Shizuo almost push Izaya over, but then Izaya hugged him. I think? I couldn't see it all too well.]

"Sometimes people show emotions in funny ways," Shinra explained as Shizuo approached Masaomi, who was guessing weights. "Izaya's fear at that moment may have resulted in an impulsive drive to cling to life – by quite literally clinging to Shizuo. Also, Izaya may have theorized that such a thing would surprise and soften Shizuo's mood. Especially from him. I always thought that Izaya was the one who started things off on a bad foot, and Shizuo would've been friendly with him otherwise. So if Izaya acts differently with Shizuo, Shizuo will act differently with him."

"I DON'T WEIGH THAT MUCH!" Shizuo's yell rang out all the way over to where Shinra and Celty stood. Izaya laughed at Masaomi as he cowered and Shizuo huffed.

"Then again, some things about Shizuo will never change," Shinra admitted with a sigh.

"I can guess Shizuo's weight," Izaya said in an attempt to diffuse the situation. Normally, he might have egged it on, but he was going to prove both Masaomi and Shizuo wrong. "Shizuo weighs within 5 pounds of 150 pounds."

"How'd you know that?" Shizuo asked, turning his face from Masaomi's petrified visage to Izaya's self-satisfied one.

"I know a lot about everyone. It's a talent of mine. You're surprisingly light for a man of your height and musculature, though." He pointed a finger at Shizuo accusingly. "You need to eat better. Beer doesn't have enough calories and nutrients to constitute a meal."

He smiled at Masaomi now that Shizuo was distracted. "Guess my weight, Masaomi."

"Uh … a hundred … a hundred and thirty?" Masaomi was thrown by this smiling, warm version of Izaya, and the image of Shizuo Heiwajima supporting him.

"Once upon a time," Izaya said with a frown. "I've let myself go a bit."

Shizuo furrowed his brow. "You feel pretty thin. You mean you weigh less than that now?"

"I've lost the muscle I built in all those years running from you," Izaya replied, his smile fading. "You're about fifteen pounds off, Masaomi. It was a very good guess though; pretty close to what I weighed before I left."

"Tcch. Then you're not one to tell me I need to eat better," Shizuo fussed. "C'mon. Let's go over to another booth."

As Shizuo escorted Izaya away, Masaomi relaxed. He jumped when Rokujo walked up behind him and grabbed his shoulders.

"You survived, eh?"

"Shut up, _Rochi_!" Masaomi hissed. "I'm having a dream, right? Shizuo Heiwajima practically walking with Izaya Orihara arm-in-arm on a carnival date …"

"Love is love," Rokujo said quietly, waiting to speak more loudly until Shizuo and Izaya were out of earshot. "Even love that isn't quite love and was birthed from hatred. I guess I should say passion extends both ways."

"I guess I could say you'll be paying me some money pretty soon," Masaomi said with a snicker. "Now shoo. I've got a line to keep up with."

Rokujo squeezed Masaomi's side, eliciting a surprised cry from him. "Hm, I'd guess 130. More than my honeys but less than a typical guy your age."

Masaomi elbowed him and Rokujo scampered away with a cackle, returning to his harem.

Shinra and Celty had kept their distance from Izaya and Shizuo, but Celty, a bit like a concerned mother, had indeed tried to keep an eye on them from afar.

Shinra, as a result, was getting frustrated.

"Celty, pay attention to me! Izaya will be fine. There are plenty of our friends here. Plus Simon is keeping an eye on them. You know he'll be able to break anything up."

[I guess you're right. But I feel oddly responsible for Izaya now. Plus, I was the one talking to Shizuo … I don't want his anger to circle back to me.]

"No one could ever stay angry with as beautiful a soul as yours, Celty," Shinra insisted, embracing her side.

His words practically melted her into a puddle, and she vowed to loosen up and attempt to enjoy her time with her beloved.

The next stop Shizuo and Izaya made was in front of the dart game. Emilia wasn't familiar with either of them, so she greeted them in the way she'd been used to doing the entire day.

"Hello, friends! Hey, big guy, you win the prize for your cute friend?"

"Huh?" Shizuo wasn't sure how to respond to this query.

"She's asking if you'll pop the balloon for a prize," Izaya translated. "She thinks I'm cute and I should get a cute stuffed animal. Right, miss?"

"Hmm, how you say …? You are not appealing to me, but I think you are cute to him!" Emilia had assumed they were dating because of Izaya's reliance on being held by Shizuo.

Izaya was already amused by this, but the flustered expression on Shizuo's face brought that from a 10 to an 11.

"WE'RE NOT DATING!" Shizuo yelled. He grabbed the entire selection of darts and threw them all at once. If Emilia hadn't dodged, she would've been impaled by several of them.

He ended up successfully popping every single balloon.

"Wow, you really wanted to win, huh blondie?" Emilia exclaimed with a little gasp, pressing her hands together. "You must really want to make happy your cute friend, huh?"

"HE'S NOT CUTE AND HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!" Shizuo yelled again, but this time he had no darts to throw.

Izaya ignored this. "I want the cute cat, no not that one – there. And the elephant. Ooh, and this little dog here –"

Shizuo was distracted by Izaya's selection process and his anger dulled. He snatched at every single stuffed animal in sight before Emilia could get to them.

"I hit every single balloon. You can have 'em all."

Izaya turned his smiling face to Shizuo. His smile grew at the sight of a red and practically steaming Shizuo holding two armfuls of stuffed animals.

"That's considerate of you, Shizuo. But it wouldn't be very practical to walk around all day with an armful of those _and_ me."

"You can carry them too," Shizuo argued. "Your arms work, right?"

"Sure. But I was thinking it'd be nice to hand them out to our thoughtful friends. They're looking over here, so maybe they're envious." He was sure it was Shizuo's outbursts that had drawn so much attention. A small child had been distracted and his chocolate banana had fallen to the ground, and he was wailing.

"Fine." Shizuo glanced around. "Who gets what?"

"Well, the girls should get them. Let's give Anri over there the cute little cow. Hm, and Namie looks glum … let's give her the tiger since she's so fierce. I think Celty likes giraffes … isn't your protégé's partner a Russian elephant? Oh, you didn't know that? Let's give her that. Akane would like the pig, don't you think? You should hand it to her. Why? She likes you, don't you know? Erika over there should get the big bear … Ruri should get this cat, the one that's a Scottish Fold like your brother's … how do I know this? Oh, you know me. Ha ha! Hm, and Miss Harima would appreciate this stealthy leopard. Oh … them? You really think we should give my sisters these two? If you say so …"

Shizuo realized after all of this running around that Izaya was just as exhausting like this as when they were fighting. In the end, they were left with one stuffed animal.

Shizuo shoved it at Izaya. "You take it. I don't know what I'd do with it."

He avoided eye contact with Izaya. Izaya realized in this moment that this was, in his own odd little fashion, Shizuo's effort to give him a gift.

 _He must really feel bad about what he did. And for a while there, I felt he should. But really, I'M the one who should feel bad._

 _Did I just admit that?_

 _At any rate, he's not so bad like this. I'm sort of enjoying myself. It's fun watching him get flustered by everything – and not taking it out on me._

 _He's sort of a nice guy, as remiss as I am to admit it. Much nicer than me._

 _That's why people are drawn to him._

"Shizuo, the kind expression on that Shiba Inu suits you much more than me. Plus this golden color is closer to your hair." Izaya gently pushed it back towards him.

"Then you'll be reminded I gave it to you." Shizuo pushed it back.

From afar, it looked like they were having a fight over a stuffed animal. It seemed like a child torn between two parents.

The ladies all clutched their own gifts to their chests, surprised by the kind gesture. Even Namie had smiled at the offering, because only the iciest of hearts couldn't be thawed by a cute stuffed animal given as a gift.

Anri had a particularly good view from her spot at the duck pond. She held the cow in her hands and watched Izaya and Shizuo pushing the stuffed dog back and forth, and her mind filled in the dialogue.

 _"No, you should have it!"_

 _"But you won it!"_

 _"For you!"_

 _"But you deserve it!"_

 _"I want it to remind you of me!"_

 _"I don't need a stuffed animal for that!"_

She wasn't far off from the truth, but at any rate, she realized they were too stubborn to never get into a squabble. It was almost endearing.

 _I bet on friendship, didn't I? I wonder if I'll lose._

 _As long as they're happy, it's okay to lose a little money._

The victor ended up being Shizuo. Izaya had given in and had one arm curled around it.

"I'll sleep with it every night," Izaya had said, a little bitter that he'd lost. He wanted to agitate Shizuo. "And name it Shizu-chan."

The return of this nickname made Shizuo's hair stand on end. "Don't you dare! If you have to name it after me, don't use that name. I hate it!"

Izaya was pleased with Shizuo's reaction. "Very well. I'll drop it. Maybe I'll name him Taiyo. He looks like he enjoys relaxing in a little sunspot, don't you think?"

"It's a stuffed animal," Shizuo fussed. He dragged Izaya away. "Let's go there."

They wandered into the funhouse, where Mikado Ryuugamine stood attending. When he was confronted with the sight of the two of them, Izaya leaning on Shizuo and holding onto a stuffed Shiba Inu, it was all he could do to keep in a bewildered smile.

"Hello, Shizuo. Izaya. Are you going to visit the funhouse?"

"No, I just want to look at it," Shizuo snapped. He was still cranky over the mention of his much-hated former nickname. It had brought a bad taste back into his mouth.

"No need for such sarcasm," Izaya scolded. "Will I be able to make it through, Mikado?" He pointed to his legs.

Mikado knew there was a twisty tunnel in there, but he recalled all of the times Izaya had manipulated him and decided not to mention this.

"Sure. At any rate, Shizuo will be there to help you, it looks like."

"Let's go," Shizuo insisted, lacking patience. Izaya offered two tickets and was quickly tugged along.

At first there was the customary hall of warped mirrors. Izaya forced Shizuo in front of all of them, starting from short and going to skinny, fat, and ending with tall.

"This mirror makes you look like you belong in a freak show," Izaya said at the end.

"Tcch. You looked most at home in the short one. Like a squat little troll."

"I look silly in all of them. So did you." Izaya glanced at the stuffed dog in his arms. "I looked like a little child in the short one, especially with this."

"Yeah. I look like your dad or big brother or something."

Izaya snickered. "We don't look related at all. The only thing we have in common is our innate stubbornness."

It wasn't the only thing, but both of them had recognized that.

Izaya fought the urge he had to evoke another reaction from Shizuo – and failed. Old habits died hard. "If we held hands, maybe we'd look like a couple."

Shizuo's head snapped towards Izaya's. "Shut up! Why do you have to say weird things like that?"

"If I'd been a cute girl, would you have minded?" Izaya asked, his brows quirking.

"If it had been anyone BUT you I wouldn't have minded!"

"Tcch. You're awkward with everyone, not just me. Maybe you're just flustered because I AM cute."

Shizuo took one more look at the mirror. "Not in there, you're not. C'mon." He tugged them along further into the funhouse. Eventually they happened onto the warp tunnel, which was spinning and dark, coated in glowing stars. Izaya tensed.

"I'm not sure I can make it through that."

"Motion sickness?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya shook his head. "My legs. My balance is off."

"Why the hell else am I here for you to hold onto? I'll get you through it."

"We could just turn back."

Shizuo looked at him very seriously, with the expression of a movie star in the crucial moment of an action movie. "There's no going back. You're not going to be a coward anymore."

Izaya couldn't help but smile at this earnest, serious expression on Shizuo's face.

 _I like seeing his face make all of these new expressions._

"As long as you help me."

"It's just a tunnel. You used to run along buildings with ease."

 _I_ used _to. You're right. But that was running away from something. Now I'm going towards it – with it._

 _That's infinitely more terrifying._

But Izaya didn't let onto that fear. He decided to face it, and in fact clung to it. He grabbed onto Shizuo with a death grip, like a cat clinging to the arm of its owner in an attempt to avoid a bath.

"I'm going to fall down like an idiot," Izaya commented as they took the first step into the tunnel.

"I've seen you look like an idiot plenty of times. You just didn't realize it." Shizuo wrapped an arm around Izaya's back and held onto one hand as it gripped Shizuo's left shoulder. The stuffed dog was snugly nestled in between them, like they were shielding a child from the terror of the tunnel.

 _I feel stupid holding onto him like this._

Then he realized he was more scared of falling in the tunnel and looking like a weak fool in front of Shizuo than being held by the man who'd nearly killed him.

This was a huge revelation for Izaya.

 _I was scared of him because I was weak in front of him. But it's made him more receptive to me. If I get him to let his guard down …_

 _Why would I want to get back into that? I've been enjoying this. Talking to him, getting to know him. Making him happy, making him blush. Seeing all of these expressions I'd never had a chance to see on his face._

 _It's helping me understand him. Because I'm becoming closer to him. Before, I had created a barrier, and so had he._

 _What good would it do me to lead him on? He'd hate me even more. All of my effort with everyone else would be negated. They'd all hate me again._

 _This is better than being hated. I want to be loved._

 _This hand on my back, the hand gripping mine. They show he cares. He regrets what he's done. Do I?_

 _If he had died then, it would have been a great victory. But I would have been despised. All of the fun I had with him would cease to exist._

 _Would it have been wrong of me to have taken his life from this existence, especially when I'm such a coward, so fearful of death? Is HE scared of death?_

 _I never figured these things out about him. He frustrated me too much._

 _But now he amuses me. And I was just jealous … that everyone loved him and not me. I thought I deserved their love and he didn't._

 _Maybe he is a better person than me, in the end. Because he never would have gone through with killing me. He's not that kind of person._

 _"As long as you're not in Ikebukuro, I don't care what you do." "As long as you stay away from me." "As long as you don't bother me." If I had listened, it never would have come to that._

 _I brought it on myself._

 _I tried to kill him because I thought I hated him. But I hated what he made me feel: jealousy, worthlessness, frustration._

 _Instead, I should kill that part of me._

 _Life is too short to be so hateful all of the time._

While Izaya had distracted himself in thought, Shizuo had successfully led him through the dizzying tunnel. Izaya hadn't even realized it when they'd emerged.

"Hey. You did it. We're out."

The unspoken words were, "You can let go now." Izaya realized this when he looked down at the hands still had wrapped around Shizuo's arm. He inhaled a whiff of the cologne he had gifted him with, a light smell like sandalwood. It mingled with suntan lotion.

"You smell very tropical," Izaya blurted out.

Shizuo furrowed his brow. "What made you say that? Why're you smelling me?"

"I can't help it, being this close to you," Izaya answered, feeling a little like he'd been accused of something dirty or perverted. "Physically, I mean. Anyway, thank you."

He let go of Shizuo. A strange look overcame Shizuo's face, as he wasn't very good at hiding his emotions like Izaya was. It was a mixture of relief and disappointment, two emotions at odd with one another.

Izaya knew that Shizuo had enjoyed the experience of helping him. Was Shizuo the sort of person who was altruistic, or was this a way of enjoying some form of control over Izaya?

"It's nothing. You're not heavy or anything." Shizuo poked at the stuffed animal. "Did he survive it, or was he crushed between us?"

"Ha ha, he's fine," Izaya said, patting the animal's head as if it was real. "Let's get out of here. I'm starting to feel claustrophobic."

Izaya had the strange feeling he was being watched. He was correct: Mika Harima had used her stalker skills to tail the two into the funhouse, dragging Seiiji along behind her. It was partly her job to monitor them, after all.

What she ended up realizing was that she thought they made a really cute couple, even though she wasn't very familiar with them. Well, she hadn't been. She'd done her research when she'd gotten her assignment. Now she knew a good bit about them.

It was her way of lending assistance to an old but not forgotten friend, Anri Sonohara.

When the two emerged, Mika saw them wander over to the strength tester. What she would later tell Celty, and what Celty would find amusing, was that despite his reluctance to hit the bell in front of her, Shizuo eagerly went for it at Izaya's urging.

He sent the bell clear off of the pole and it sailed into the air like a comet. Shizuo and Izaya looked up with their hand shielding their eyes from the sun, Shizuo's other hand still holding the mallet. Izaya's gripped the sunny-colored dog.

"Was that show of strength an attempt to impress or intimidate, Seiiji?" Mika asked, clinging to his arm much as Izaya had to Shizuo in the tunnel.

"Hmm. I think he's already successfully intimidated Izaya. Therefore, I think he's trying to show off."

"Sooo, do you think you'll be owing me some money soon, Seiiji?"

Seiiji's indifferent face displayed slight dismay. "I may lose. Things are looking promising for your win."

Mika had no intent on collecting money from Seiiji. She smiled up at him, and the fact that such a creepy smile came from a face that so closely resembled his beloved Celty made Seiiji even more frightened by it.

By this time, the sun had set. Shizuo looked around. "I wanted to ride on that earlier, but Celty was scared of it." He pointed to the UFO, a rotating ride that went at high speed and lit up dazzlingly.

"I'm game." Izaya was looking forward to sitting; his legs hurt, but he wasn't about to admit that to Shizuo. He hated waiting in line, but he bit his lip and clung to Shizuo. The cologne he'd picked had matched with Shizuo's natural scent rather well.

Shingen wore his gas mask even now. "Well, hello Izaya! I haven't been by my son's lately, so I hadn't had a chance to see you yet. How're the injuries healing? It's good you're walking! Shinra said you needed a wheelchair for a bit there."

"Ah, yes," Izaya stole a glance at Shizuo, pleased Shingen backed up his injuries but displeased that a higher degree of his weakness had been revealed to Shizuo. "Shinra has been very helpful. As you can see, I can walk without crutches now – just not on my own."

"Let's sit before you wear yourself out," Shizuo said, leading him along. He disliked people like Shingen who talked too much.

Izaya experienced the feeling of anticipation he'd once felt as a child, strapped in and waiting for the breeze of a ride in motion. His stomach didn't suffer from the same queasiness that most did.

"Do you like rides like this?"

"My brother and I used to go on them together." Shizuo took his glasses off and slipped them into the pockets of his shorts.

"Then maybe you and your brother should ride a few after this."

"That would be fun. What will you do?"

"Oh, you've had enough of me for the day. It's been an hour or two. I'll find Shinra again, or maybe I'll catch up with Kyohei." Izaya gripped the metal bar, pondering how such a thing worked in tandem with gravity to keep them from flying out.

"I'll walk with you until you find them, of course."

Izaya turned to say what came to his mind naturally, but Shingen started the ride and they went whooshing away mid-sentence. Izaya careened right into Shizuo's shoulder, his grip on the bar not tight enough.

 _You're really quite sweet, Shizuo._

It was probably for the best Shizuo hadn't heard it, anyway.

Shizuo looked down at Izaya. "You okay?"

"Just lost my grip is all." Izaya straightened up and held onto the bar, his hair whipping into his face. Shizuo was a stoic rider; his blond locks went all over but he didn't yell or scream. He merely smiled.

Izaya did the same, watching the lights of the carnival go swirling by. All of the people walking around holding their finger foods, in line for the attractions, giggling and wailing on the ride along with them. It was a nice distraction. Izaya was enjoying himself.

Shizuo had a thought along the same lines. _Is it weird that I'm enjoying this? He's not annoying me all that much. He's not even running his mouth. Is this what it would've been like if we were friends?_

 _Well, I'm not to blame for that. But maybe he really has come to a turning point in his life._

 _If he led me along with that chat and the gifts and all that, I'll be pretty pissed off. But if he really enjoyed that … I dunno how I feel about it._

 _If I end up enjoying conversations with him, liking gifts that he got me, and spending time with him like this, does that mean our feud is over?_

 _At least it means the potential is there to be friends. Life's too short to hold a grudge. If he really shows me that he means what he says for once, I'll accept his repentance._

 _I'll even be friends with him if things go well._

 _Because right now, I'm smiling._

He glanced at Izaya, who had the stuffed dog snugly lodged between his knees. His expression was relaxed, a gentle smile on his face and a softness to his eyes. He looked content.

Shizuo's hands seemed to act on their own. They loosened from the support bar and he was pushed into Izaya by the centrifugal force of the ride.

 _Was I distracted? See, body, this is why I can't trust you!_

"What happened?" Izaya asked, hair blowing into his mouth as he turned his face towards Shizuo's.

Shizuo put a hand on the bench in between them and pulled himself up straight with the other gripping the bar. "Dunno. Slippery, I guess."

Izaya's eyes betrayed the fact that he didn't quite believe Shizuo but that he didn't mind. The subtle quirk of his eyebrows gave it away even more.

When the ride came to an end, Shizuo exited first and gallantly held his hand out to help Izaya down from the capsule. Both of them had badly messed up hair.

"Ah, what a gentleman," Shingen mused, holding a hand to his chest, "helping your date down from the UFO ride!"

Shizuo swiftly turned to glare at him. "Keep talking if you want me to rip that mask off with your face attached to it."

Shingen straightened up and moved his finger up to the mouth of his mask. "My lips are sealed!"

"If I know Kyohei, he's off having a drink with the playboy or one of his crew," Shizuo said. "We'll check over by the tables and the food stalls."

Simon, satisfied that no fights would break out, skittered back to his stall before Shizuo noticed he was gone. He'd been using the best of his assassin skills to stealthily hide and track the two. Mika was so stealthy that neither she nor Simon had noticed one another.

It was hard to say if Izaya and Shizuo would have been touched or annoyed by such diligent monitoring.

Indeed, all of the effort put into this was making everyone feel rather relieved by the decidedly positive outcome it had amounted to thus far. It had helped them develop a sense of camaraderie with one another, much like what was developing between Shizuo and Izaya.

On their way over, Shizuo recognized Akane and her father, along with Akabayashi. Izaya was forced over along with him as he went to say hello.

"Yo, Akane! Mr. Awakusu. And … sorry. Your name slips my mind."

"Shizuo!" Akane broke away from the two older men to embrace Shizuo, splitting him and Izaya apart. Shizuo reached out with one hand and snatched his arm so he didn't fall, all while Akane hugged him. It was impressive multitasking.

Akabayashi looked amused, but her father was less amused by the sight of her hugging a man almost twice her age. Shizuo wasn't intimidated by much, but the face of a protective father wasn't to be dismissed. He cut the embrace short.

"Good to see you. Fun carnival, isn't it?"

"I'm relieved it is; I put up the money for it," her father said, walking up next to her. "Akane, it's nice to say hello to acquaintances, but aren't there friends around here that are more your age?"

"Dad! I just wanted to say hi …" Akane hung her head.

Akabayashi patted her back. "Ah, it's embarrassing to be seen out with two old men like us. She just wanted everyone to think she associates with a couple of prettyboys like these."

"Prettyboy?!" Shizuo bellowed.

Akane giggled, her naturally rosy cheeks flushing.

"I'll take the compliment," Izaya acquiesced. "You should too, Shizuo, with your hair in that state."

Shizuo reached over and poked him in the side. Izaya giggled and swatted at his hand. To anyone that didn't know he was ticklish, this appeared rather strange.

Shizuo smoothed his hair back from his face and bowed. "I'll let you get back to your night. Always good to see you, Akane. Study hard and get good grades!"

Akane bowed back and was quickly escorted away by her father. Akabayashi leaned towards Izaya. "Thank you for the thing. I'm rather enjoying it." He smiled enigmatically, shoved his hands in his pockets, and followed his boss and Akane.

Shizuo looked at Izaya. "What thing?"

"It's a secret," Izaya said with a wink. "Ah, I'm famished. I think I'll get something to eat."

In a strange way, he wanted to show off to Vorona how well he and Shizuo were getting along. It was a sort of spite, he thought.

He was also rather surprised with Shizuo's patience. The fact that he'd put up with holding onto Izaya for so long, and of all people, showed that there were depths to Shizuo not yet unearthed. He was a veritable ocean of surprises.

Along the way, they spied Kyohei with Rokujo and his harem. They waved and indicated they'd stop by on the way back. Kyohei watched them walk off with a stunned look on his face that gave way to a slight shake of his head and a smirk. He was relieved they were getting along, but it was a strange sight to see them so close physically. He didn't know Shizuo would have such a tolerance for contact like that, especially with Izaya. His thinking was along the same lines as Izaya, as he too had a talent for observation.

"Hey, Tom, Vorona," Shizuo waved and walked up to the stall they manned. He nodded at Dennis nearby, and Simon, who was next to him. "Can I get a yakitori?"

Izaya opened his mouth, but Shizuo interrupted him. "Get him some okonomiyaki and corn on a stick. And cotton candy, too."

Izaya gave him a befuddled look.

"You need to eat."

Izaya wasn't used to someone ordering food for him, other than Namie ordering in.

Shizuo dug into his pockets to pay, but Tom shook his head. "Nah, man, it's on the house."

"Were you paying for mine, too?" Izaya asked, realizing how flabbergasted he looked and quickly relaxing his expression.

"Why not?" Shizuo muttered. "Is this your first time at a Japanese carnival, Vorona?"

Vorona nodded. "Yes. I enjoy it. Would be more enjoyable if I were to attend rides and festivities."

While Tom dug around fetching the food Shizuo had ordered, Izaya noticed the looks he cast at Vorona.

 _Ah. He likes her. Who wouldn't be attracted to a body like that? Still, her personality – or lack thereof – could use some work._

"Shizuo," Izaya said to him, leaning on the counter for support, "why don't you take over here so your friends can enjoy themselves?"

"Huh? Is not necessary!" Vorona insisted. "Tom took me to the museum, which I enjoyed. Did you know octopi have three hearts? Are complicated creatures. Very intelligent. There is one in Australia which so small but very deadly. Beautiful, with blue rings."

"Beautiful but deadly, just like you," Izaya said. "Right, Tom?"

"Vorona isn't deadly," Tom said, handing Shizuo his yakitori. "She's beautiful and intelligent."

"I do not need praise," Vorona insisted, but her pale cheeks flushed slightly. "Thank you, however. I am very … how you say? Flattered?"

Shizuo chewed his chicken and looked amongst the three of them. His eyes narrowed suspiciously at Izaya.

"Vorona," Izaya asked, his voice as smooth and low as a cat's purr, "do you like Tom?"

Tom froze and dropped the package of cotton candy he'd been about to hand Izaya.

Vorona tilted her head. "Of course! He is very kind to me."

"Hmm." Izaya rested his chin in his hands. "How should I explain this to a grown woman like you who still has such an innocent mind? Well, at least in matters of the heart …"

Shizuo chewed his chicken, actually rather interested in where this conversation was going. He was also ready to jump in in case Izaya attacked his protégé or made her uncomfortable.

"What are you getting at, information broker?" Vorona folded her arms. Her eyes weren't the innocent eyes of a child; she now had the steely gaze of an assassin.

"No need to get defensive, my dear. I'm not attacking you. I simply want to speed things along for you. Do you understand the concept of attraction?"

"Is when woman or man responds to pheromones, or to a display intended for mating."

"Well, it's more complicated than that." Izaya was delighting in her reactions. She really was rather interesting. "You know what magnets are, I assume. So picture the attraction of these two magnets, how they're drawn together. Magnity, privlekayushchiye."

"Magnets repel also," Vorona said. She glanced at Shizuo. He shrugged, implying he wasn't threatened by what Izaya was getting at. "Magnity ottalkivayushchiye. Go on. Why are Tom and I like magnets?"

Izaya tapped a foot, deciding to use her native tongue to avoid some embarrassment for poor Tom. "Pozvol'te mne v samuyu uproshchennym terminov dlya vas : yesli Tom dolzhen byl potselovat' tebya , ty pozvolish' yemu ? Vy by ottolknut' yego ili potselovat' yego obratno ? Ili stoyat' tam?"

In essence, he had asked her how she would've responded if Tom made a move on her.

Vorona glanced down at the countertop, where Izaya's arms were crossed atop it. "Ya by ne znal , kak reagirovat' . Tom ne nepriyatno . On khoroshiy. Nakhodyas' ryadom s nim , ya komfortno . No ya dumayu, chto eti veshchi Shizuo , a takzhe. Oni moi kollegi " .

Her response was that she respected and liked Tom, but she also felt this way about Shizuo.

"My only concern, dear Vorona, is that you don't waste your efforts on a fish flopping on land when you have a dog ready to hump your leg."

That went entirely over Vorona's head. "If I were to find a fish on land, I would cook and eat it. And what is meaning of 'hump?' Why would a dog do this to me?"

"Izaya, stop confusing her," Shizuo cautioned. "Or I'll call this truce off pretty quickly. I don't even understand half of what you're saying."

Izaya turned to Shizuo. "I'm only trying to help your friend. He likes her, right? I don't want him to waste his time on her if she likes you."

"I'm right here!" Tom insisted, shoving Izaya's food at him. "And your food's getting cold!"

"If you have a point, get to it quick, then," Shizuo said, folding his arms. "Then go eat your food with Kyohei so I can do what you suggested and let them take a break."

"Shizuo is already more tolerant of Izaya," Vorona observed. "Before, food stand would be in tatters. This is very interesting. Perhaps I was correct in assessment. Izaya, if you are to ask me about romance, I will ask you: why try to convince me I am not interested in Shizuo and that I should reciprocate Tom's affections?"

"Because I don't want to see either of you get your hearts broken," Izaya said, trying to sell it as best as he could. "As long as I've known him, Shizuo has been rather shy around women. Plus, he's too gallant to take advantage of your interest in him. He respects you."

"Is this true, Shizuo?" Vorona asked him.

Shizuo shrugged. "I've never been popular with women." His tone and eyes softened. "And while I'm flattered if you like me, he's right: I respect you as a colleague and as a friend. I'm not good enough for a smart girl like you."

Izaya cast a sidelong glance at Shizuo, realizing that he was softening the blow with flattery.

Shizuo reached over and patted her on the head tenderly. "Tom really likes you, though. He's probably the only guy I'd let get close to you, so if you're interested, I say go for it."

"Oh, man, this is embarrassing …" Tom buried his face in the corner of the small stand, groaning.

Vorona's eyes were warm when they looked up at Shizuo, but they hardened when they drifted to Izaya. "You may say you do this altruistically, but I know you have other reason. Leopard cannot change its spots. Object of your passion is same, only your feelings are changed. U vas yest' sil'nyye chuvstva k Shizuo . Oni razvivayutsya . Vy khotite , chtoby ovladet' im , razum i telo . Vy ustranit' lyubuyu ugrozu v vashem puti ." She looked back at Shizuo. "Drugimi slovami, vy budete delat' chto-nibud' dlya togo, chto vy zhelayete."

Izaya was impressed by the fluency and intelligence of her observations when she spoke in her mother tongue. "Podumayte, chto vy khotite. Ya budu zabotit'sya o nem . Yesli ya yemu bol'no , ya dayu vam razresheniye, chtoby popytat'sya ubit' menya snova. No vy by otritsat', yemu shans na mir?"

"Nyet. No ya ne znayu , naskol'ko uspeshno vashi popytki budut . Shizuo plotno . On , kazhetsya, ne znayet, chto on khochet . Yesli eto ty , ya poglotit moi slova , i pust' vy prodolzhat' delat' yego schastlivym . No ya ne uveren, chto vy znayete, chto vy khotite , libo. Ya ne doveryayu vam."

Vorona had let on that she didn't trust Izaya's intentions towards Shizuo, and that they weren't what he was letting on. He, in turn, asked her for the opportunity to prove her wrong and the chance to make Shizuo happy. If he failed, he allowed her the chance to kill him again. She agreed.

She then went over to pat Tom's back reassuringly, her small body and kind actions masking the coiled strike of a snake.

Izaya grabbed his food and looked up at Shizuo. Shizuo was biting something back, but he took Izaya by the arm anyway.

"I'll be back in a second, Tom. Vorona."

When they were out of earshot, Shizuo's hand tightened on Izaya's arm. "What the hell was that about?"

"I was just trying to help them along," Izaya insisted with a plaintive sigh. "It's so painfully obvious he likes her, and she likes him but is hung up on you. If I didn't say anything, it would've just hung there in limbo. At least it's out there now; the thought's swirling around in their minds."

Shizuo couldn't argue with the directness of this method, though he couldn't shake the feeling it was still manipulation of some kind.

"You really want them to be happy?"

Izaya shrugged. "I'm just curious to see if it happens. If it makes them happy in the end, what harm is there?"

Shizuo frowned. "Just try not to forget that people have feelings."

Izaya sighed. "Vorona's strong. She'll move on quickly like the little warrior she is. And if your friend experiences a little embarrassment before he gets what he wants, it'll be worth it."

"How'd you know she liked me? And that I wasn't into her back?"

"Because, in some respects, I do know you. I know people. It's what I do. It's a hobby, not a job."

"And what was the deal with all that Russian? How many languages do you know?"

"I just wanted to speak to her more directly, is all. And save her some embarrassment. I know Russian and English, as well as Japanese."

"How'd you learn all that?" Shizuo looked impressed.

Izaya puffed up with pride. "I taught myself. I can read both of them, too."

"Well, I'll drop you off here with Kyohei." Shizuo stopped and backed up from Izaya. "Can you stand on your own? Is it just walking you have trouble with?"

Izaya nodded. "I'll get better with time. I've just been sitting a lot for the past few years."

Shizuo frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I don't know whether to say I'm sorry or you deserved it."

Izaya smiled and shrugged. "You can say both. I did deserve it. And whether you believe me or not, I'm sorry too. Thanks for walking around with me. Everyone will undoubtedly be relieved neither of us is dead."

Shizuo snickered. "Yeah. Uh, anyway, I guess I'll catch you online sometime?"

Izaya nodded and turned to call out to Kadota, but Shizuo called out to him: "And don't talk like that. Online. Say what you mean."

Before Izaya could reply, the same American song from before interrupted the calliope music.

As Kyohei walked over to Izaya, Izaya had numerous thoughts flash through his mind. Chiefly among them was: _Someone is playing this song on purpose. Who would have a dumb idea like this?_

 _Mairu. Kururi._


	7. Night-Time Loneliness

**Chapter 7: Night Time Loneliness**

If Celty thought she'd get more time with her computer now that the jig was up with Shizuo, she was wrong. If anything, Izaya was on it even more. She resorted to chatting on her phone in these instances.

Bakyura: I'm still trying to drop all the weight I gained from that carnival food … ugh. It's crazy how it takes weeks to get weight off but you can gain it all back in like two days. It's been, what, two and a half weeks since that carnival and I've only dropped 3 lbs!

Saika: It sure was fun, though!

Taro Tanaka: I think it was a success!

Setton: Ugh. My roommate keeps hogging the computer. I'm stuck on my phone. It's super laggy, so I'm sorry if I fall behind in the chat.

Taro Tanaka: That's okay, Setton.

Bakyura: Where'd Chrome run off to, anyway?

Saika: Uhm, maybe they're in PM?

Setton: Of course. They stole my friend :(

Taro Tanaka: We're still here for you, Setton!

Bakyura: Speaking of friends, that was pretty wild, right?

Taro Tanaka: What was?

Bakyura: Orihara and Heiwajima at the carnival.

Setton: Bakyura!

Bakyura: What? It's not like they're on here :P

Saika: Do you think they're friends now?

Taro Tanaka: Who knows? They haven't been fighting though. That's a good sign.

Setton: No, no fighting. From what I understand, they've talked more since then. It seems they're getting along.

Saika: That's good.

Bakyura: -O?

Saika: What's that mean?

Taro Tanaka: I think it's dirty …

Setton: Bakyura, what sort of perverted symbol is that?

Bakyura: You don't know? Geez. It's a **** in a hole.

Setton: ! Wow! Why would you type that?

Bakyura: I was wondering if they were ****ing, d'uh

Taro Tanaka: I don't think so …

Saika: If they were, they might not want it to be known.

Bakyura: Secret lovahs! Heh heh heh

Setton: Don't go there, Bakyura.

Taro Tanaka: Yeah, Bakyura, we shouldn't talk about that here.

Bakyura: Well forgiiiiiive me for thinking this was the common chat room, you know for gossip and ****

Saika: Well, if they are, I hope they're happy!

Setton: They aren't! I don't think they've met in public since the carnival.

Saika PM'd Setton.

Saika: Is Izaya still staying in your apartment?

Setton: Yes! He goes out with us if we go, and once or twice with Kyohei, but most of the time he's on my laptop chatting!

Saika: Doesn't he have his own?

Setton: He says he only used it for work and that he got rid of it to break his bad habits. He still has the phone, though.

Saika: That's good, I guess.

Setton: Not for me! Ugh. I just really miss my laptop. I even watched TV and gamed on it!

Saika: Hopefully he'll go out on his own more …

Setton: You know, I'm starting to wish he _would_ go out with Shizuo.

Celty's prayers would soon be answered.

In private mode, Taiyo had just been discussing how his day had gone.

Taiyo: The usual. Shaking money out of people who dont want to give it up

Chrome: Sounds like fun. Not.

Taiyo: Tell me about it. But hey that thing you did with tom and Vorona kinda worked

Chrome: Did it really?

Taiyo: They went to lunch without me

Chrome: That's progress! Were you lonely? ;_;

Taiyo: Nah. Im good with it. as long as theyre happy

Chrome: Do you go out with anyone else?

Taiyo: I go to Celtys on occasion. Drinks with Tom after work sometimes at Simons.

Chrome: You don't come to Celty's now because of me?

Taiyo: For a while there. Can you blame me?

Chrome: No, no I don't. But now?

Taiyo: I guess id rather see you one on one than in a group. I dont really like large groups.

Chrome: You don't?

Taiyo: too many triggers set me off easier. But I think the gum helps

Chrome: Aww, you still chew it?

Taiyo: dont get too smug about it

Taiyo: Did you send me something else, btw?

Chrome: You've graduated to 'net acronyms, I'm so proud!

Taiyo: Stop ignoring the question Izaya. Did you send me the book?

Chrome: Guilty!

Taiyo: Then whered you think I learned the acronym? Geez

Chrome: I'm glad it's proved useful! :)

Taiyo: thanks.

Taiyo: So do you get out of the apartment much?

Chrome: Not really. It's hard to go anywhere without anyone to help me, and I don't like to pester them.

Taiyo: Im sure they dont mind

Chrome: I'm pretty sure Celty'd like her computer back.

Taiyo: haah, youre hogging it?

Chrome: I'm on it now :p

Taiyo: you should give it a rest then

Chrome: You don't want to chat?

Taiyo: we can do that IRL

Chrome: Really? Are you sure?

Taiyo: You told me that id be the one to ask to meet in real life, didnt you?

Chrome: I guess I did …

Taiyo: I know its easy for me to talk here because I dont see your face, so its like its not you … but I want to talk to you

Chrome: Is my face really that unpleasant?

Taiyo: only when youre smirking at me. then its pretty infuriating

Chrome: Hmm, really? So you don't mind it now?

Taiyo: you have to give me time to get used to you like this. Same as you needed

Chrome: Well, it's been over two months since we met online, and more than two weeks since we found out who we were really talking to.

Taiyo: BTW do you know who the rest of them are?

Chrome: I'll tell you, but only you ;) Setton you know. Taro Tanaka is Mikado. Saika is Anri. Bakyura is Masaomi.

Taiyo: Who are they?

Chrome: :9 You don't remember?

Taiyo: dont make fun of me. im not good with names

Chrome: I'm not poking fun! The high-schoolers. Leader of the Dollars, Yellow Scarves, wielder of Saika?

Taiyo: Still drawing a blank

Chrome: Ugh. You're hopeless :p Anyway, Gaki is Akabayashi, Akane's father's subordinate with one eye. And San and Kyo are my beloved sisters.

Taiyo: It turns out that Celty is still the only one I really know

Chrome: I suppose so … so what were you getting at? You want to talk to me face to face?

Taiyo: If you can get a ride over theres a park by my house. You know where that is. it's three blocks east. Lets meet there in an hour.

Chrome: Are you sure?

Taiyo: I asked you didnt i?

Chrome: Fine, fine. Don't get into a huff over it. It's a date.

Taiyo: its not a date!

Chrome: That's just a term … don't be so literal, Shizuo :p

Chrome: By the way, your namesake is sitting on the headboard of my bed :)

Taiyo: that's creepy

Chrome: Creepy?! I thought it would make you happy! Mean! ,

Taiyo: ill have to read the chapter on all those faces you keep sending me. I mean its just weird to think of something with my name above your bed

Taiyo: it doesnt make you have weird dreams does it?

Chrome: Weird dreams? Like what? Oho, what ARE you getting at, Shizuo?

Taiyo: Cut it out! Dont make me change my mind!

Chrome: *sigh* Fine fine. I'll see you in an hour.

Izaya signed out of the regular chat and popped into Celty's room nonchalantly.

"Celty, I need you to do me a favor."

She jumped, startled. She was still typing on her phone.

"You can use your laptop while I'm gone."

She typed a message to him eagerly. [Gone? You need me to drop you off somewhere?]

Izaya smiled at her enthusiasm. He was starting to read her physical mannerisms like Shinra did. "Do you know where Shizuo's place is?"

Celty nodded.

"The park nearby there, three blocks east."

[You're not planning to do anything to him, are you?]

"I'm not planning to, no." Izaya's innocuous smile turned into a sinister smirk. "If something does happen, that's entirely up to him."

He'd read the chat log before he'd signed out. Consequently, he'd decided to needle Celty with ideas of him being romantic with Shizuo.

Little tendrils of smoke flared off of her body. [Izaya! Don't tease him!]

Izaya sighed and leaned against the doorway. "I'm teasing you, not him. Anyway, I need to be there in an hour. I'm going to go take a shower."

Shinra was away helping his father with an errand, so Celty typed him a text message. [I don't know why I'm excited about this, but I have to drop Izaya off at a park near Shizuo's in an hour! He's taking a shower now. I'm so glad he's getting out. I get to use my laptop!]

Shinra was never far from his phone. One would assume this was because of the urgent nature of his job, but mostly it was because of Celty. {That's great on all counts, Celty! Should we send a few people to make sure they don't get into a spat?}

[I don't know … isn't that sort of invading their privacy?]

{We can't be sure they're where they need to be yet. Akabayashi won't tell us what they write online, but he says it's pretty trivial. But they seem to get along.}

[What would they do at a park at night?]

{I'm sort of curious about that myself.}

[Shinra!]

{I don't think it's that kind of thing! Who invited whom?}

[I have no idea, but it seemed like Shizuo did. Izaya seemed like someone who'd just been invited out. Sort of excited.]

{Send a couple of people out, just in case. Plus, I want to know what goes on.}

[Fine. I'll ask around. Or I could just hang around since Izaya will need a ride back too. But I'm really excited to use my laptop!]

Celty ended up getting Akabayashi and Anri to surveil the scene, and after she dropped Izaya off, she hung around just long enough to see that Shizuo was sitting on a bench with some sort of basket next to him.

She stared and thought, _It really_ is _like a date!_ _Like a night-time picnic in the park!_

She was torn between the thoughts that this was cute and bizarre. But her confusion was overwhelmed by the realization that she could now return to her laptop, so she zoomed away confident in Anri and Akabayashi's abilities.

"Celty drop you off?" Shizuo asked, standing up.

Izaya nodded and approached him. "This is a nice park."

"You're walking okay?" Shizuo asked, holding up his hands as if anticipating that Izaya would need help.

Izaya walked past him and gently pushed his hands down. "Don't worry about me. I've been getting better." He observed the mystery basket. "What's this?"

Shizuo sat on the opposite side of it and peeled the lid back. "Beer and onigiri. Sorry if you don't like the brand. I didn't know what kind you liked."

Izaya tilted his head and clicked his tongue. "Beer isn't a meal. What are you trying to loosen me up for?"

Shizuo frowned. "I'm not you; I don't have an angle. If you don't want it –"

Izaya snatched his hand before he could take the basket away. "It was a joke. A bad one. Thank you for thinking of me. Did you make or buy the onigiri?"

Shizuo looked down at Izaya's hand, which was small and pale compared to his own.

 _We look like the sun and moon. His skin is so fair it's reflecting the glow off of mine._

"I made it. Cooking is something I decided to try out. Sorry, you're the guinea pig."

"Ah, Shizuo's experimenting with _me_? What a turn of fortune!" Izaya let go and dug in to retrieve a beer. He had issues opening it, which Shizuo noticed. He popped the cap off easily and handed it back over to Izaya. Izaya hated beer, but he didn't want to insult Shizuo by not drinking any.

"Eat, too. You're too skinny."

Izaya snorted. "You sound like my mother once upon a time."

"I never pictured you with parents," Shizuo admitted as Izaya dug out a piece of onigiri.

"What, you pictured me emerging from seafoam like Venus or something?"

"Who?"

"The Roman goddess of love and beauty." Izaya bit into the onigiri as Shizuo stared at him, obviously still uncertain who Venus was. "This is good. Thank you."

"It's weird," Shizuo said, looking up at the night sky as crickets chirped around them, "but I don't mind your face or your voice as much as I thought I would."

"What's wrong with my voice?" Izaya fussed with a mouthful of onigiri. It was rather inelegant.

"Well, it was yours. And I hated you. I hated everything about you. Your face, your voice, that cheap cologne you wear. But even it doesn't smell half as bad now."

Izaya swallowed the onigiri. "So you believe in the 1% now?"

"Yeah," Shizuo admitted quietly. "And maybe it's because I'm simple and easily fooled. But I really hope you don't prove me wrong."

"I always thought you had the instincts of an animal," Izaya said, sipping the rather disgusting beer very slowly. "But when we talked about humanity and animals that night, I realized you were human, animal and monster all rolled into one. I once thought of you simply as a monster, and I was jealous of you because everyone loved you. I didn't understand it, and I didn't understand you."

"What are you saying? Use less words." Shizuo sighed. "Sorry."

"It's fine. It's you. I should know better." Before Shizuo could misinterpret that, Izaya quickly said, "Meaning I know I talk a lot and you hate it."

"What's funny is I don't mind it online," Shizuo admitted. He popped open a beer of his own. "So I might learn to not hate it in real life."

"Well, what I was trying to say was that I hated you then because you weren't someone I could understand or control. Obviously, you hated me because I messed around with you and everyone else. That's understandable. I've had a lot of time to think about how destructive I was. I thought I was so smart. But in the end, I lost out to your brute strength. So what I did didn't save me in the end. It nearly killed me. So I have come to respect your strength – and where it fits within your humanity - and I'm starting to respect you."

Shizuo turned his head to face Izaya, his eyebrows quirking. "That was still a lot of words."

Izaya sighed.

"But," Shizuo went on, "I know what you said. And I know it's not good for me to go on hating you, so I'm trying to forgive you. It's not as hard as I thought it'd be."

Izaya chugged his beer in anticipation of what he was about to say.

 _Suck it up, Izaya. It's time to move forward. You lost. Admit your defeat to the better man._

"In the end, you won. So I concede. I respect you. I think I've even grown to like you. Like all other humans, I may love you. And I'm sorry for all of it, from the first knife slash to the last."

Shizuo was silent for a moment while he absorbed that. A few moments, actually.

 _He says 'love' so trivially, like he doesn't even really know what it means._

"I never understood what you meant, that 'I love humans' crap. Like you're not? Do you love yourself, then? Any one person in particular?"

Izaya watched the sweat trickle from Shizuo's beer bottle onto his hand. "I only mean that I find them interesting, watching them. How they behave, how they interact. They're far more interesting than me. I'm a void without personality. A sponge soaking in everything around me."

"But you have feelings. Thoughts. Behaviors. You're human, too," Shizuo insisted, trying to figure out what Izaya was saying. "I'm not patient. I know it. I shoot off too easily. In my way, I soak everything up too. I'm not clever like you, and I know I'm supernaturally strong, but you had the endurance and agility to stay away from me for all that time. I hated it. But I also looked forward to having a reason to be angry instead of just being a freak."

"You're just as human as the rest of them, Shizuo," Izaya said quietly.

"Yeah, well you are too."

Anri wiped her eye, hidden behind the bushes next to Shizuo and Izaya. Akabayashi typed a message and showed it to her, trying to remain quiet.

[Are you crying?]

Anri nodded. {They're connecting and being so human together!}

Akabayashi. [Wanna bet on whether they end up kissing at the end of it?]

Anri smiled, her face glowing in the light of her phone. {They won't. But who can say they won't another time?}

Akabayashi smirked. [We'll have to get you a 'shipper on board' sticker to go with Erika's.]

He typed another message. [I'll say they either end up holding hands somehow or sharing some kind of confession. Trust me, I'm old. I know these things.]

{You're not that old!}

[Meaning's not in words but in-between them. Watch and learn, Missy.]

Izaya was still having trouble accepting that he was sitting next to Shizuo in a park at night drinking beer. Now they were connecting. For so long he'd watched others connect, the magnets attracted to one another. Now the poles for Shizuo and himself had reversed.

"Don't think I'm weird for saying this – or at least weirder than you already think I am – but I think I'd like to be friends with you," Izaya confessed, caressing his beer bottle because he didn't know what else to do.

Shizuo looked at him, his brow furrowed. One hand held his beer and the other toyed with the fabric of his shorts. "You'd better not be putting me on."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because if you make me like you and end up telling me it was all a lie, I might actually be mad enough to kill you."

Izaya took this threat seriously. Shizuo wasn't a flippant man like Izaya sometimes was. Ah, who was he kidding: like Izaya _mostly always_ was.

"It's lonely out here," Izaya said, looking up at the stars.

"It's peaceful."

"Do you ever look up at all of that and wonder what the meaning of life is?"

"I don't like thinking about things like that. I just live."

Izaya laughed gently. "I'm consumed by my thoughts to the point of overthinking, and here you are sitting here without a care in the world."

"If I wasted all my time thinking, I'd never be able to enjoy my life." Shizuo had moved onto a third beer by this point. "I'm a person and you're a person, and we exist in this world together. That's all I know or care about."

When Izaya realized the implication of what Shizuo was saying, he managed to eke out a reply: "You care about me, then?"

Shizuo kept staring up at the sky. "I care about my friends. If you become my friend, I'll care about you." He looked at Izaya with a stern expression. "That's what you want, right? Like I said, if you betray me, you'll have made me into an even worse enemy than I was before."

"Do you like me now, Shizuo?"

Shizuo broke their gaze. "More than I should."

[BOOM!] Akabayashi typed to Anri. [Confession time!]

{So cute … I feel like I'm watching an after dinner drama.}

"So what'd you want me to come out here for?" Izaya asked. "Beer and onigiri?"

"Just because it's a peaceful place, and I want you to realize what kind of a person I am. You might laugh at my ironic name, but I do want to be peaceful. I hate violence. I just want to enjoy my life without any stress."

"That's almost impossible."

"So was this. But here we are."

Izaya couldn't argue with that. "I guess this is what I want, too. To be able to sit and talk and connect with other people. So thank you for sharing this with me. The truth is, I became rather envious when you started making friends and I remained alone. I was jealous. But it wasn't your fault – it was mine."

Shizuo tilted his head to the side, facing Izaya. "Tcch. I still can't take those earnest words coming from _your_ mouth. But I guess when death looks you in the eye, you look back at your life."

For a while, they sat in silence, content in one another's company. The crickets chirped and the wind rustled the leaves, and above them the stars twinkled.

{I think Shizuo's falling asleep.}

Akabayashi peered out at them. [Yeah. One too many beers, seems like. Izaya's not doing anything, though.]

{Just sitting and looking up at the stars. They're comfortable around each other now.}

[Oh, look, here's some action -]

Izaya had noticed Shizuo had fallen asleep. He reached over, his hand hovering above the heat of Shizuo's arm. Despite all of the times he'd slashed into it, there were no scars present in his tan flesh.

"I never even left a mark on you …" Izaya murmured.

Eventually he grasped Shizuo's arm and gently shook it.

"Shizuo, you fell asleep."

Shizuo's eyes fluttered open. "Huh?" He rubbed them and sat up. "Did you drug my beer?"

Izaya recoiled. "No!"

Shizuo's stern expression melted into a smile and he shook his head. "I'm just kidding. I know you didn't. For once." The look he gave Izaya now was similar to the patient expressions he usually reserved for Akane and Vorona.

When he was like this, Izaya could see why they would fall under his spell.

Shizuo broke it by yawning. "I should probably head back. I have work early in the morning. But I'll sit here with you until Celty comes to pick you up."

Izaya texted her, the contagion of the yawn passing to him. "If I can tear her away from her computer …"

A grin slipped onto Shizuo's face. "She's really attached to that thing. It took a while for Tom to teach me how to use it. Kept breaking keys and the touchpad. I was never really any good with the one at school either."

"Well, I think insular people prefer them," Izaya explained. "It gives them an opportunity to connect from afar. Which, in this case, worked out better than it might have the other way."

"True."

"So, do you use the computer for anything but chat, Shizuo?"

"Nah. I can't figure out all that internet stuff. Tom taught me how to work the chat so I stick with what I know."

Izaya smiled. From outside, one might have classified it as 'fond'. "You're so simple."

Shizuo's head snapped left. "That an insult?"

Izaya sighed. "Just an observation. Like you saying I talk too much, or argue in logical circles."

Shizuo ran his hand through his hair and Izaya briefly wondered what shampoo he used. His hair was surprisingly silky for something treated repeatedly with dye and bleach.

"Do you think of letting your hair go back to its natural color?"

"Why?"

"It might look good."

The tendrils had planted. Shizuo tried to picture the hair from his middle-school self on his adult face. "I'd look like a teenager again. Besides, everyone's used to this."

Izaya caressed his chin, deeply contemplating Shizuo's hair in a way that made Shizuo vaguely uncomfortable. "I think it might make you look more gentle. But I guess that's bad for business. Still, you've already built up such a reputation … and they all know to fear the bartender outfit."

 _Like I did._

"I see you ditched the coat. It was gaudy anyway. You still carry that flick knife around?" Shizuo was noting Izaya's casual dress. He'd kept the black V neck and trousers, but he'd been unable to wear the faux fur-lined coat or any of its variants. It didn't feel like it suited him any longer.

"I still feel like I might have some people who'd want to hurt me."

"You don't need it around me," Shizuo declared, eyeing Izaya's pants, where he assumed he kept it.

The implication of this was dual: that he wouldn't need to fight Shizuo, and that Shizuo would fight anyone who bothered Izaya.

This thought relaxed him, strangely. Who would ever come after him with Shizuo on his side?

 _I've been wasting a great resource all of this time. He could've been a bodyguard for me. Instead I turned him into the thing I most needed guarding from. How stupid of me._

 _But I do like a challenge._

"Will you be my bodyguard, then?"

"I already have a job-"

"You're so literal, Shizu-" The old nickname was on the tip of his tongue. Izaya bit it. "I was just being facetious."

"What's that?"

He really did have a vocabulary about half as large as Izaya's; a fourth, if one counted English and Russian.

"If you spend time talking to me, you'll learn what some of these words mean. I could even teach you some Russian to better communicate with your protégé."

Shizuo smiled gently, his eyes softening. "That's a nice thought. Especially since you don't much like her."

"What makes you say that? I love all humans. Even the ones who try to kill me."

Shizuo shrugged. "Just a gut feeling. Maybe I am a bit like an animal that way."

"Ty vsegda udivlyayet menya." Izaya sighed and looked at Shizuo, studying his features in the moonlight. But the moment was ruined by the sudden blaring of music over a speaker. Both of them whipped their heads around in search of the origin.

"It's the damn song from last week!" Shizuo yelled, standing up. "The one about the girl longing for the boy, or whatever, right?"

Izaya folded his arms and remained seated. "Someone I know thinks they're being funny." He waved a hand to dismiss Shizuo's anger. "Don't worry about it. Hear it enough and you may start to like it."

"How would I like something I don't understand?!"

 _I shared that sentiment with you once._

"You don't need to understand the words. Just appreciate the music and the atmosphere. It's a song about longing for something from afar. It's wistful and delicate. The sort of song a couple might dance to at a wedding." Izaya tuned into the words. "It's simple and rather saccharine, but underscored by melancholy."

Mairu and Kururi snickered at their brother's explanation of the song. Shizuo's half-puzzled, half-agitated expression was especially hard to look at without busting into laughter. Fortunately for them, Celty showed up before they lost it, and Shizuo's distraction afforded them an escape.

When Celty arrived, she tilted her head.

 _Romantic music? Shizuo really pulls out all of the stops!_

 _Isn't that the song from the carnival? Hmm. Perhaps he liked it enough to make it their theme song._

She laughed to herself. _What am I thinking? I can't imagine Shizuo with a love interest! Would he think of romantic things like this? The park must have a playlist. That's interesting._

{It's the same song from the carnival} Anri showed Akabayashi.

[Well, I saw two little squirrels scamper out of here when the Hulk was about to smash. Wanna bet they've engineered this little prank?]

Anri muffled a giggle. {Why this song, do you think?}

[Classical conditioning. It's a psychology thing. Don't know if they know that, though. They're hoping Shizuo will associate that song with their brother, and maybe vice versa.]

{Why?}

[Ah, because it's romantic.]

{Shizuo doesn't seem to think so.}

[Once he hears it enough, it might change his mind. He'll start to associate with Izaya, and if he starts to like Izaya, he'll like it. Izaya can teach him the words.]

{Hee hee. That'd be fun to watch.}

[Agreed. Now let's get outta here before they catch on. Celty's here. I'll give you a ride home.]

Celty approached Shizuo and Izaya, relieved to see nothing had been destroyed and that there were no cuts or bruises on either one.

[Hey, Shizuo.] She noticed he seemed a little unsteady. [Do you need a ride home?]

Shizuo shook his head. "I can walk."

Izaya walked over to Celty. "Are you sure?"

Shizuo furrowed his brow. "How the hell would I fit on there with you two?"

[Shooter can turn into something larger, like a carriage.] Celty pictured herself like the coachman and Shooter as a black pumpkin with Izaya and Shizuo in the back like Cinderella and the Prince. This brought so much amusement to her it looked like she was convulsing. Izaya knew she was laughing, but he didn't know why.

"Nah. Thanks. I need to walk it off." He bowed his head. "Night, Celty. Izaya." "Don't forget your –"

"You take it," Shizuo denied, referencing the basket that was still half-filled with onigiri and beer. "Eat."

Izaya grabbed it and watched him walk away with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe the beer had upset it. He strolled after Celty and climbed behind her, placing the basket in a compartment behind him.

[Have a nice date?]

As Izaya read her text, he shook his head and snickered. "Celty, is it a date when you hang out with Shizuo one on one?"

[Not really. I mean, a set upon time and day is technically a date, but we don't do things like have a picnic at night.]

"It wasn't a picnic," Izaya sighed as Shooter rolled away into the night. "Just beer and onigiri. I hate beer." He rested his head against her back, which was cool and smooth like a pillow. "Maybe I'll start calling you Big Sister," he mused, closing his eyes.

Celty realized Izaya was a bit inebriated. When he ceased to talk, she knew he'd fallen asleep. His snores were like little whistles.

 _He's made me care about him, the jerk. 'Big Sister,' huh? Well, I guess it's not so bad._

She ended up carrying Izaya up to bed. She was strong, but he was also small and frail. He did need to eat better, she recognized. She wondered when the last time he'd had someone to look after him had been. He must have been lonely all of that time. It made her a little sad.

After she settled him into bed and placed the basket at the foot of it, she wandered into her bedroom and threw her arms around Shinra.

"Hey, Celty! I heard you come in, but I guessed that you had your hands full with Izaya so I decided to wait for you. How was it?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck from behind him.

He touched the side of his head to her helmet. "You're feeling sentimental, Celty. What happened?"

[I just feel bad for Izaya. He's been so lonely for such a long time.]

"Ah, he did it to himself. Plus, he had me."

[No. I mean, he never had someone to make dinner for him when he came home. At least that didn't work for him. Someone who looked after his well-being. Someone who'd make him tea if he was sick. Or to sit there and watch his favorite show with him.]

"You're really such a gentle soul, Celty. You care so much about other people. You really _do_ love humans, not just say you do like him." Shinra caressed her slender arms gently. "He has us now."

Celty slid onto the bed beside him and took her helmet off. She rested her shoulder against his, smoke trailing above her neck. [He called me 'Big Sister'.]

"Hmm … would that make me his Big Brother?" Shinra pressed a finger to his chin. "That seems a little strange, since we're nearly the same age. But I guess I _am_ a bit older."

[It means we're his family now, Shinra. It's our responsibility to look after him.]

She'd tucked Izaya into bed like a mother would a child, slipping in the corners of the sheet and even wiping his bangs from his forehead. Celty hadn't realized what maternal instincts were before, or that she possessed them. But Izaya looked so small and alone that to her he might as well have been a child in her care. In a strange way, she wanted to make sure Shizuo's intentions were pure and to protect Izaya from anything untowards.

She jerked upwards. _What am I thinking? I should be more worried about Shizuo!_ _Besides, he'd never do anything like that … Although, he did get Izaya drunk._ _Ah, but friends do that. It's manly bonding. Next time, they should invite Kadota and Shinra. Then I can have some time with my laptop without Shinra bugging me._

 _I've spent too much time around those "Boys Love" girls._

 _Still, there's something … I can sense things in ways humans can't. A sixth sense. And it's picking up an electrical field between them._

 _Ah, I'm reading too much into it. Shizuo's my friend, and Izaya's my charge. As long as they both behave, I have nothing to worry about._

 _Still, as intense as that hatred was … could a friendship be as equally strong? The opposite of hate is love. Could they …?_ _No. Shizuo and Izaya? Were it to happen, I could be happy for them. But I would worry it was volatile. That if they were to fall in love, they would have arguments that would send them right back into the realm of hatred. If they loathed each other that much for no reason, how destructive would a lover's quarrel be?_

The thought made her shudder.

 _We've controlled it thus far. Should we keep on going, or trust in what we've propelled to keep going on its own course?_ _The intensity of those emotions existed for a reason. I have to trust in the possibility that Shizuo and Izaya could love each other as much as they hated one another._

"Celty, what's going through your mind?" Shinra asked. She suspected he could guess, but she typed a reply anyway.

[Will they become friends, or possibly even more, you think?]

Shinra looked up at the ceiling. "Well, I've known them both since high school. And I say that those feelings of hatred are as strong as those of love, potentially. Could you imagine the love they'd share? Being equal to their former rivalry? It would parallel and perhaps exceed our own."

[Woe to those who dare interfere.]

Celty half meant this as a joke, but Shinra took it more seriously. "Trust me: they could fall in love. As strong as that hatred was, a love could bloom in its place. Then there'd be no going in-between it."

[Isn't that dangerous?]

"Potentially. Can you imagine Shizuo protecting someone he loved above all others?"

Celty shuddered. [If he loved Izaya and anyone threatened him, the whole of Ikebukuro would be destroyed.]

"Exactly. And if Izaya came to love Shizuo, he'd find a way to eliminate Shizuo's enemies. In a way, if this exceeds friendship, we've created a monster."

Celty realized he was right. Shizuo was a man who strongly believed in ethics. And ethics dictated that you protect the ones you loved. And Izaya was a man who wanted to be have the upper hand at all times.

[We might make Shizuo into what Izaya thought he was all along. And Izaya might be worse than ever!]

"So we make sure no one threatens Izaya, ever. If Shizuo came to care for him, he'd be untouchable."

[Like Godzilla rampaging throughout Tokyo!]

"But maybe that would be a good test …" Shinra mused, switching gears completely.

[Hmm? What are you getting at?]

"The next time they meet up, maybe we should throw something at Izaya. If Shizuo protects him, that'll cement the reversal of Izaya's opinion of Shizuo: from threat to protector."

[That's dangerous!] Celty was concerned not only for Shizuo and Izaya, but anyone who dared to piss off Shizuo.

 _Does he care enough now to defend Izaya? Or would he let someone threaten him and revel in it?_

As if reading her mind, Shinra said: "If Shizuo wanted to see him suffer, Izaya would have suffered by now. The fact of the matter is, Shizuo doesn't mind him now. In fact, he's enjoying all of their chats. Izaya thinks he's deleting them, but Namie helped me retrieve these."

He walked her over to her laptop. Izaya was in his room with the door shut. She didn't see a light on. Shinra booted the laptop up and opened up every single chat log Taiyo and Chrome had shared in private mode. Celty stared in astonishment, a feeling coursing through her similar to discovering an exciting new website to browse or discovering she'd fallen in love with a book series. She leaned forward eagerly.

"Read those and get back to me about whether or not you think we should run that little experiment."

As Celty read (she was an incredibly fast reader at this point), she could sense the development and deepening of a relationship. She was also surprised and amused by Izaya's blatant flirting. Shizuo's writing was transparent; it wasn't totally astonishing that Izaya had clued into his identity. And all of Izaya's chat handles possessed the same enthusiasm and glee that Izaya expressed in real life. The problem with disguise was that it was still a self-portrait.

Even their chats after the carnival were surprisingly intimate. They discussed things ranging from the mundane nature of their day to childhood memories. Shizuo was starting to express himself better, and Izaya had lightened up on the flaky flirtations and teasing.

By the time she'd gotten to the invitation by Shizuo that she'd just taken Izaya to and from, Celty had decided that a true relationship was developing here. Izaya's gifts to Shizuo involved real thought and showed an evolving affection that she was certain went beyond Izaya's 'experiments'. Somehow, she doubted Izaya himself realized this.

 _He needs to see Shizuo's form of affection. Shinra's right; it'll make him realize Shizuo's not a threat to him anymore, and with the element of fear removed, he'll be more open to allowing positive feelings to develop._

Celty had refused to accept the image of the two of them walking hand in hand in a park, but she'd seen them sitting side by side in one. Was it that hard to picture it now? Either way, to see smiles on both of their faces would make her smile on the inside.

She turned to Shinra and answered him.


	8. Magnetized

**Chapter 8. Magnetized**

Izaya's sisters did their part in the plan. They initiated a private chat with a friend of theirs who didn't like talking with the others as much these days.

Kyo: Thanks for talking to us, Aoba!

San: Yes, thank you.

Pure Water 100%: No problem, my lovelies. What can I help you with?

Kyo: Oh, stop. You sound like Bakyura!

San: Or Mr. Chikage.

Kyo: No wonder Erika ships the two of them, ha ha!

San: Actually, she ships a threesome of Bakyura, Chikage and Kadota.

Kyo: ACTUALLY, she ships a foursome of Bakyura, Chikage, Kadota and Togusa! Ha ha!

Pure Water 100%: I'm not here to talk about ships, am I?

Kyo: Ha ha, no. Unless you want to ;p

San: We have a request.

Pure Water 100%: Anything for you, ladies.

Kyo: Great! Do you have a couple of lowlifes at your disposal?

Pure Water 100%: How do you define 'lowlifes'?

San: Thugs.

Kyo: We don't need 'em to beat anyone up. Just intimidate them.

Pure Water 100%: Is someone messing with either of you? I'll take care of it myself!

Kyo: No, not us. This is a favor. Sort of for a friend.

San: For our brother, too.

Pure Water 100%: I heard he's back. How's he doing?

Kyo: Better! And that's why we need your help!

Pure Water 100%: You want my thugs to beat him up again?

San: No, thanks. If we wanted to, we could do that ourselves.

Kyo: We need 'em to ambush him. But only pretend. Like, threats.

San: We should probably tell him everything …

Pure Water 100%: I'm already worried.

Kyo: Well, he'll be with Shizuo Heiwajima.

Pure Water 100%: What?! A. Why will he be WITH Heiwajima? And B. Heiwajima might mess my guys up! They'll never agree to that!

San: We'll pay you.

Kyo: With a date with _both_ of us.

San: We'll give you a good night kiss.

Kyo: We'll give each other a good night kiss ;)

Pure Water 100%: I'll find a way to make it work, in that case. You got a day, time and location for me?

San: Our sources tell us they'll be outside of Mode Off at approximately 1:00 PM this Saturday.

Pure Water 100%: A clothing store?

Kyo: Izaya needs new clothes. Shizuo's taking him shopping.

Pure Water 100%: What, are they friends now or something? Did Hell freeze over?

San: You heard it from us first.

Kyo: They chat online now. I'm pretty sure they've fallen in love.

Pure Water 100%: You're joking.

Kyo: 50/50.

San: Maybe one's completely in love with the other, or they're both a little in love with one another.

Pure Water 100%: You're putting me on. Who am I really sending these guys after?

Kyo: We're not kidding! Izaya and Shizuo, Mode Off at 1 Saturday. Make some threats but have them run if Shizuo goes all Super Saiyan.

San: If all goes well, we'll make that date.

Pure Water 100%: I have no idea what's really going on, but I've gotta find out.

Kyo: We'll tell you all about it if the plan's a success.

San: We're counting on you, Aoba.

Kyo: Hugs!

San: And a kiss ;)

Pure Water 100%: Sigh. Consider it done.

Celty had complained about having to launder the same few shirts and pairs of pants for Izaya, and suggested to him he ought to buy a new wardrobe.

Izaya had asked the two to take him, but Shinra suggested someone else do it so he and Celty could have a date night. This much was true, but he had an ulterior agenda.

Izaya knew this, but he didn't care. He did exactly as they wanted and slid the topic into his chat with Shizuo.

"Celty and Shinra are tired of washing my clothes for me."

"So wash them yourself."

"Ah. I should get new ones anyway. Where do you like to go?"

"I don't shop much."

"Do you need new clothes too, then?"

"Not really."

"Sigh. I'm trying to get you to take me, dolt."

"Then you shoulda just asked."

"I'm asking now. Would you mind incredibly, my dear friend Shizuo?"

"Fine. Just cut the false flattery."

"You're the best! I'll look up a place and get back to you about a time and place."

"Whatever works."

Thus the date, time and place were decided upon and this information given to the Orihara sisters by Namie. Izaya honestly had no inkling about it.

Celty dropped Izaya off slightly before 1:00 and sped home to her private time with Shinra (and her laptop). Shizuo arrived about six minutes later, just past 1:00. He was in casual clothes since it was his day off.

This was the first time they'd been together in public since their last big fight. But the signposts, vending machines and traffic lights were able to rest easy for once.

There was some idle chatter before a couple of goons ran up to Izaya. One waved a knife in his face. "Give up your money, man!"

The other backed him up with a bat, but he made the mistake of making eye contact with Shizuo. "Y-yeah. And the rings, too!"

Izaya recognized the two as Blue Squares. What were they holding over his head? Bad blood?

He held up his hands and sighed. "I'm just here to do some clothes shopping. What do you really want?"

"J-just give us your wallet and rings!"

They weren't very assertive thugs. Shizuo's eyebrows were furrowing.

"Fine. If you'll leave us alone and let me do my shopping." Izaya dug into his pants knowing full well that Shiuzo's fists were shaking in his pockets.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "You're not giving 'em anything, Izaya." His voice was colder than an iceberg.

"I just want to be left in peace," Izaya insisted to the thugs. "And I don't want you to piss off my friend here."

One of the two thugs, who'd taken drama in high school, took things a little too far: "Oh yeah? You mean your _boy_ friend?"

And his comrade, who'd always been a follower, joined suit: "You guys gonna go home and jerk each other off, huh? After you finish your little-"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence. A fist pummeled into his mouth and sent him flying into the crowd behind him. The other thug wailed and turned tail before Shizuo could land another.

A huge smile slid onto Izaya's face, but only because he wasn't in Shizuo's view. Shizuo huffed in front of him, his body shaking. "Yeah, you better run! Run after YOUR boyfriend, asshole! Or you won't have a dick to jerk off!"

Izaya reveled in the feeling of watching Shizuo go after someone that wasn't him – for his own sake. It was immensely satisfying and a little exciting.

Izaya stepped forward and grabbed Shizuo's raised arm. "Shizuo, you don't want a fight, right? They're gone now. Let's go in."

Shizuo glared after the two disappearing blots in the mingling crowd. If he'd been a bull, steam would've shot out of his nose as he exhaled.

"I wanna kill 'em."

"Why?"

"They were going to rob you. And they said all that rude shit about us."

"It didn't bother me." He still felt Shizuo's muscles tensing under his hands. His skin was at its boiling point, but remarkably smooth.

Izaya slid around in front of Shizuo and repeated what had worked last time: he threw his arms around his neck and went limp against him.

This relaxed Shizuo's muscles instantly and his hands went under Izaya's arms like he wasn't sure what to do with them.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

Izaya sighed into Shizuo's neck. "My legs got sore standing there. I needed a break."

Funny. Shizuo's anger seemed to be diverted rather easily by this sort of gesture.

 _Should I have just been hugging him all of this time? Then I could've just slid my knife into his neck._

Shizuo gently eased Izaya's arms away from his neck. "People are looking at us funny."

"That's because of who we are, not what we're doing," Izaya insisted. "It's hot out here. Let's go in."

He wobbled to perpetuate the lie (he was, in actuality, feeling much stronger). Shizuo stepped forward to catch his elbow and grabbed the door with the other hand.

They entered and all eyes fell on them. The customers and employees had witnessed the altercation outside, and the rather puzzling embrace that followed.

Izaya ignored them and went straight for the coat rack. "I need a new coat. What do you think suits me, Shizuo?"

"You like black."

"I do." He stared up at the various coats. "It's going to be Autumn soon. I'd better pick one that suits the Winter after. How about this one?" He pulled a knee-length coat down that had faux fur lining it, but it was black and silkier than his last coat.

He slid it on and threw up the hood. "Ah. That's comfortable. How does it look?"

Shizuo looked at him, screwing his mouth to the side. "It swallows you up and makes you look tiny."

Izaya chuckled. "I don't want to stand out. I'll take it."

He slid it off and slung it over his arm. Next he wandered over to the pants. "Black again. What cut fits me best, do you think?"

Shizuo shrugged. "I don't know why you wanted me to take you. I don't know much about clothes."

Izaya smiled. "For the pleasure of your company, of course! If you hadn't been with me, what would've happened with those thugs?"

Shizuo glared at him. "Did you hire them?"

Izaya's smile faded. "No. Give me a little credit. What good would it do me to piss you off?"

Shizuo's eyes softened. "Sorry. It'll take a while for me to stop doubting you."

Izaya sighed and fanned through the rack of pants. "Understandable. Don't feel too bad, Shizuo. Now, I have short legs. Lean. Not too much hips. What about low-rise boot-cut?"

"Why low-rise?"

Izaya's mouth, which always seemed like it was on the edge of a smile, slid into a smirk. "When I lift my arms, they show off my stomach. It's a nice one, don't you think? You've seen my shirt fly up plenty in our fights."

Shizuo's tan cheeks pinkened with embarrassment. "Why're you thinking about a thing like that? I wasn't staring at your stomach when you were trying to kill me, you know!"

"To be fair, I was mostly running _from_ you," Izaya debated, snatching up a pair. "I'll try this one. Now, onto the shirts."

He wandered over with Shizuo, snatching at a turtleneck that he couldn't quite reach. Without asking, Shizuo grabbed it for him and handed it to him.

Izaya held it up over his current top. "A turtleneck will go well with the coat and pants I've picked. This is a slim-fit. What do you think?"

"It suits you," Shizuo said. "But you'll look like a pimp."

Izaya laughed outright. "Is that a joke, Shizuo? I was a lot of things, but a pimp was never one of them."

He strolled over to the changing room. "Look around and see if there's anything you want. I'll buy it for you."

He entered the stall before Shizuo could reply, and Izaya saw his gape-mouthed face as he shut the door. He changed into the clothes, which fit him immaculately (he was a very good judge of his own size). When he stood in front of the mirror, he felt like he was looking at a different person. A smaller person, but still confident somehow. The coat did swallow him, but he didn't want to reveal how slim he'd really become.

"Those clothes work out okay?" Shizuo asked through the stall.

Izaya swung the door open. "I thought I told you to browse."

Shizuo eyed the outfit from head to toe before replying, "I thought you could help me. You seem pretty knowledgeable about clothes."

Izaya tugged his coat to straighten it. "How does it look?"

"Black."

Izaya lifted up his arms, the shirt raising with them. "Is that a nice little window of stomach?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I just want you to look at it," Izaya teased with a devious little smile.

Shizuo folded his arms and looked away. "It looks like you need to eat better."

Izaya sighed and lowered his arms. "You can take me to dinner after this."

"I can't afford it."

"Then _I'll_ pay," Izaya said with a belabored sigh. He went back into the stall to change into his old clothes. He could feel Shizuo's eyes on his back.

"Hey. I'll cook."

Izaya turned to face him. He angled his face down but lifted his eyes to Shizuo's and smiled coquetteishly. "You'd do that for me? I didn't know you could."

He rested his hand against the stall wall and left the other on the edge of the door.

Shizuo glanced away from him again. "I'm not very good. I don't cook for myself unless I'm broke. But it's nice to cook for other people."

"I'm sure it'll be delicious if you cook it with love," Izaya replied with a wink. He shut the door before Shizuo could reply.

 _I wonder if that's too much for him? Still, those little flustered faces he makes are so cute. He must've made them plenty when I was chatting with him online, at first._

He changed clothes and exited. "I'll buy these. Now, what do you like?"

Shizuo's jaw worked at his gum. "I don't really have a preference. I like comfortable, I guess."

"I know what you'd look good in." Izaya snatched his wrist and dragged him along.

"Your legs feeling better?"

"Oh, I just have little spells. How about this?" Izaya pulled up a pale lavender button-down with rolled up sleeves.

Shizuo screwed up his nose. "What's with that color?"

Izaya held it up against his chest. "It goes with your glasses. Plus, these rolled-up sleeves are so casual like you – and they show off your arms."

"I don't know-"

Izaya wandered off to the pants before Shizuo could argue, leaving the shirt in his grasp. Shizuo followed him obediently, though he shook his head.

"These!" Izaya held up a pair of rolled-up jeans that were a sun-bleached blue. "If you're going to keep that hair, these pants will make you look like a sun-tanned surfer. You're a beach kind of guy, aren't you?"

He pressed them over Shizuo's hips, but Shizuo backed away with that same peach flush to his cheeks. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Making sure they fit," Izaya answered, half-truthfully. He'd gotten the reaction he'd expected. "I won't bite you. Come back."

Shizuo made a little 'pfft' noise but obeyed. He grabbed the pair from Izaya and held them to his own hips, however.

 _What do you think I want to do? Cop a feel? You're so repressed, Shizu._

 _I've got to think of another name for him. Shiz? Zuo?_

"Why're you staring there, Izaya?!"

Izaya had zoned out and stared at Shizuo's waist for a bit. He leveled his eyes with Shizuo's after slowly trailing them up Shizuo's stomach and chest.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Shizuo." He maintained eye contact to see how long it too Shizuo to look away.

 _3 seconds._

"Let's go," Shizuo insisted, but he grabbed Izaya's arm and escorted him to check out.

"If you still want to cook me dinner, we should figure out how to get back," Izaya said after they left with bags in hand. Shizuo lowered his glasses over his eyes.

 _He'll look good in those clothes. The palette will compliment those damnable designer glasses and his honey-hued skin. I do wonder about that hair, though._

"It's not far to walk."

"I don't know," Izaya rubbed his legs. "My legs are sort of aching."

Shizuo looked at him for a rather long time – _5 seconds_ – before he came to an internal conclusion. He externalized it. "You're not that heavy."

Izaya's eyes widened as he realized with some glee what this meant. "You'll … carry me?"

Shizuo looked momentarily distrustful of Izaya. "If you're gonna look that happy about it, I might not."

Izaya placed his hand to his chest. "I'm just touched you'd do that for me, Shizuo." He furrowed his brow and smiled gently, glancing away with a faux bashfulness. "No one is ever that considerate of me."

Izaya looked back at Shizuo, who was clearly psyching himself up to do this.

 _Am I that threatening, even like this? Or is he just shy?_

 _Ah. A shy boy like Shizuo could love anyone who accepts him._

 _But what sort of love could he ever feel for me, the one who wanted to take away the most valuable possession he has?_

Still, Izaya couldn't argue that there wasn't something behind the arms that slid under his back and knees and curled him to that sturdy chest. It would've been just as easy – easier even – to call a cab.

Izaya let a content sigh slip through his lips. "You'll protect me from the world, won't you, my friend?"

He looked up at Shizuo's face, but Shizuo was focused ahead of them. "This isn't that bad. You're light. Too light. You've lost muscle, too. I feel your ribs." He squeezed.

It tickled, and Izaya chortled. He rested his head against Shizuo's neck, inhaling the subtle smell of the soap he'd used that morning. "Ah, yes. I've neglected myself. But I'm starting to feel better. Whatever you cook, I'll eat all you offer."

Shizuo was silent for a long time. Izaya looked between his face and their surroundings, privately pleased by the curious looks people were giving them. He curled his arms around Shizuo's neck for good measure.

 _I should have him be my bodyguard AND my transportation. This is actually pretty luxurious._

He was using Shizuo, but Shizuo saw it as being helpful. Consequently, he felt good about what he was doing. If a little funny. Izaya was light, almost girlishly slender, and his hair smelled sweet like some kind of flower.

 _Maybe he used Celty's shower gel. Not that she has hair to wash. Why does she even shower?_

Shizuo had to admit it was pleasant. But he was bothered more by the thought of the act than the act itself.

 _His legs … they're because of me, so I should help him._

 _Unless he's faking it for a kick._

 _That was a bad pun._

 _Still, his pain seemed real before. It's possible he's faking it now, though. Maybe to get me to do things like this._

 _Does he think it's funny, or …?_

 _Does he WANT me to hold him? Showing off his stomach like that! Who does that?_

 _It's like a girl begging you to look at her. "Am I pretty?"_

 _Yeah, you've got a flat stomach. Ivory white. But you lost those two lines of definition that –_

 _I suppose I did notice. All of the times he flashed me, of course I did. Was that on purpose, too? But for WHAT purpose?_

 _He's a tease. No doubt. It's him through and through, wanting to get reactions from people. He still does it to me. But instead of trying to piss me off, he wants to get me all flustered or something._

 _Something … "Cook me food with love." Sure, I'll cook you food with love. I want you to eat well, after all. But why say such a thing?_

 _Filling my mind with those sorts of thoughts. You want me to think about you like you were a girl, 'Chrome'? Is that it? Getting me gifts, shopping together, eating at my house … it's like dating._

 _I should see how he acts in a group with me. Maybe he'll be less … I dunno. Whatever the hell he's doing._

 _He thinks I'm too stupid to see what he's doing. But knowing him, he'd be surprised and pleased if I did. I should turn the tables on him._

 _How far would he be willing to go to keep up the ruse?_

"Izaya."

"Hm?"

"Should we invite some of the others over?"

Shizuo recognized a hitch in Izaya's voice – a tonal change that he quickly tried to hide. "That could be fun, but do you have enough food to cook for more than the two of us?"

 _Checkmate. He's good._

"Izaya."

"Yes?"

"Don't play games with me." Unlike Izaya, Shizuo was a straightforward person when he felt assertive enough. "Doing things like this because you think it's funny –"

"I just want your attention," Izaya insisted, his fingers clenching the fabric of Shizuo's shirt. "That's my way of getting it. Do you not like it?"

"Sometimes you just act like a girl. Or a fox. Maybe they're not all that different."

"How on earth am I acting like a girl and a fox?" Izaya didn't have that all-knowing look in his eye for once.

Shizuo smiled, pleased with himself for achieving this. "Cunning. Going for what you want indirectly."

"I'm telling you what I want," Izaya denied. He frowned.

"I know you better than that. You always have a hidden agenda."

Shizuo's apartment was close. His arms didn't ache, but his nose was filled with Celty or Izaya's shower gel. Izaya was also quite warm, which was making him sweat a little.

"You'll never trust me, huh?"

Shizuo put him down gently, Izaya using Shizuo's shoulder for support while he stood. Shizuo unlocked the front door, but Izaya's fingers trailed down and curled into the bottom of his sleeve.

"I mean it. If you can't trust me, don't let me into your apartment. I'll call Celty."

Shizuo looked down at those desperate fingers and back up to that doll-like face, which was delicate like porcelain and almost too pretty for a man – and definitely too pretty for a man like him. Or the man he'd been.

This irony had infuriated Shizuo.

"Don't be like that."

"Like what?"

Shizuo opened the door and gravity pulled it to the side. He pried Izaya's fingers from his sleeve. "Desperate. It doesn't suit you."

Izaya followed Shizuo inside, pondering the meaning of those words. Shizuo was sharper than he'd given him credit for. Slow but sharp.

"I just don't want to be a burden to you. I really want us to connect –"

"Then be genuine with me," Shizuo snapped his head towards Izaya. He shut the door behind him and locked it before facing him. "Do you like me, or do you like messing with me?"

Izaya licked his lips and parted them. Shizuo looked at them, expecting an answer. He said nothing. Instead, Shizuo looked into his eyes, which were almond but double-lidded and almost European in that respect. They also broke away from Shizuo's – something Izaya usually didn't do. He used eye contact like a weapon, a form of intimidation.

"I like messing with you BECAUSE I like you."

"The hell kinda sense does that make?!"

Izaya's eyes shifted back to Shizuo's. "I enjoy watching you react. The smiles my gifts brought to your face, the sight of you in those casual clothes I bought you, the smell of the lotion on your skin, the absence of those disgusting cigarettes … The way your eyes glance away and your cheeks flush when I say something you don't know how to respond to. And I swear to you, I didn't hire those thugs, but watching the way you stood up for me impressed me. That you went from chasing me to stepping in between me and my enemies …"

"Hell, you don't even know what real feelings are," Shizuo remarked, realizing this about Izaya. "You don't know how to describe them. They're new to you, right? Like a kid discovering them?"

Izaya realized this wasn't inaccurate. He had feelings, but there were new ones flooding in that he couldn't put to words. This aggravated him. That, and Shizuo was more knowledgeable about something than he was.

"Do you still hate me? Will you always?"

"If I hated you, you wouldn't be standing here in my apartment." Shizuo smirked. "And we wouldn't have bags full of new clothes. But give me some credit; I'm not as dense as you think."

"I know." Izaya's smirk matched Shizuo's. "It's a pleasant surprise."

"You really think I'll look good in these?" Shizuo pulled the clothes he'd gotten out of the bag.

"Put them on and I'll tell you, Mr. 'I Don't Trust Changing Room Mirrors'."

Shizuo chortled. "You gonna try to assassinate me while I'm changing?"

Izaya's smirk lifted. "You know me better than that, don't you?"

Shizuo shook his head, though he was still smirking. "Asshole."

"You could just change here in front of me if you're worried," Izaya offered with a slight raise of his eyebrows. "You don't have anything I haven't seen before."

Shizuo couldn't fight back the rush of blood into his cheeks. "Shut up! You don't need to see that!"

He stalked into the adjoining bedroom and slid the door closed. After a moment, he slid the it open to a crack to make sure Izaya was behaving himself. He was changing too.

Shizuo felt compelled to watch. It was like a snake shedding its skin, those layers of black coming up over his head and down over his feet. He did it in graceful motions, slender limbs glowing fish-belly white. Shizuo could see a scar in his side where Vorona had hit him with the knife.

 _He's too skinny. Whatever he says, there's proof he's lost weight. I don't think he's lying about the pain. Shinra and Celty believe him, and they see him more than me._

 _I WANT to believe him. I'm tired of his deception._

He looked so small and vulnerable. Similar to a woman or a child even. No – too lean and angular to be a woman, and too developed to be a child. It was strange to see him so close to bare. Shizuo supposed he'd never let anyone close to him before, that he'd never allowed any intimacy – whether consciously or not.

 _Anyone who ever tried to befriend you would be let down. And you wondered why you were so alone?_

 _Hell, you even made it hard for your sisters to love you._

 _You were your own worst enemy, Izaya. Which is why I hope I defeated that part of you._

 _Then I can be close to you._

When he realized he wanted this, Shizuo was a little stunned by his own level of introspection.

 _Why would I want that?_

 _Because it's nice, the things he's done. Thoughtful things, actually._

 _The conversations are pleasant. Trivial at times, deeper at others._

 _The only time he bothers me is when I wonder if he's faking it. But if he means it, I don't mind it._

 _I can even tolerate those weird comments he makes – the ones to get a reaction out of me._

 _Is it possible, the meaning behind it … that he would go so far to get it … the love he wants …_

 _Why me?_

 _Why would he want such a thing from me? To prove to himself he can get it?_

 _He could make anyone care for him with enough time and effort._

 _Why's he spending so much of it on me?_

 _I'm not that interesting. If he's trying to prove a point, at what lengths will he go to get there? And when will he decide he's gotten what he wants outta me?_

Izaya knew full well that Shizuo was looking at him. His heightened sense had detected the slight wooshing of the door sliding on the track. He'd taken his time removing his clothes and had done it as artfully as possible.

 _How is it a seduction if I don't know I'm doing it, right?_

He wriggled into his new pair of pants and turned so Shizuo could watch him button them up. Then he pulled the turtleneck over his head and rolled it down languorously, again stretching to test the gap he wanted. Finally he pulled his coat on, gave it a good tug, and turned his face towards the door.

"You've been in there a while, Shizuo. Are you okay?"

Shizuo changed into his clothes in a hurry and slid the door open. His hair was a mess and his cheeks were flushed, and he'd lined his shirt buttons up all wrong so that it was lopsided. Izaya noted with a smile that he'd also forgotten to zip his pants.

"Oh, dear. It looks like you got a sunburn again," Izaya said as Shizuo stepped out. He pressed a finger to Shizuo's pink cheek. "You should make sure you put the lotion on your face, too."

He moved his hands to the buttons on Shizuo's shirt. Shizuo grabbed them before he could loop the top one free. "What are you doing?"

Izaya looked up at him innocently. "You buttoned it all wrong."

Shizuo worked on fixing this himself. Izaya cleared his throat.

"What?!"

He pointed down. "Also, you forgot to zip."

"Why are you always looking there, huh?!"

"I observe. It's what I do." Izaya tilted his head. "That sunburn is getting worse by the second, dear Shizuo. We really should moisturize it."

He turned and chortled to himself. After he'd given Shizuo time to readjust himself, he turned back and reached up towards Shizuo's face.

Shizuo caught his wrists. "What now?"

"Your hair." Shizuo released his wrists and Izaya ran his hands through Shizuo's messed hair, straightening it into artful layers. It was soft and cool, but had a few to be expected split ends.

He was surprised Shizuo had let him do this. It was almost a motherly gesture, definitely strange for Izaya to do. He thought about trailing his hands down the side of Shizuo's face, which had a day's worth of stubble, but for once sided with restraint over boldness.

Instead, he dropped his hands to his sides and nodded. "Now you look good. Casual Shizuo, ready for a day at the beach. Sun-kissed and youthful."

"You look …" Shizuo examined the new attire. "You look like yourself, but different. I like it." He gave it a nod of approval.

Shizuo's compliments needed work, but at least they were earnest.

Izaya felt a strange little twinge, but he wasn't sure where in his body it had originated. The tips of his finger tingled a little. But he wasn't scared.

"Sit down. I'll cook."

"I can help –"

Shizuo looked over his shoulder as he walked into the kitchen. "Rest your legs. Sit."

They didn't hurt all _that_ much, but Izaya obeyed him. He flicked the TV on and a wrestling match came into view.

 _Huh. He watches that? Boring._

He changed the channel. The news was not exactly new. Cooking shows were predictable.

 _Oh, I like this._

He settled on an investigative true crime program. However, he figured out what was going on within the first five minutes and tired of it.

Eventually he settled on something that now evoked a feeling of nostalgia within him: Celty's _Unexplained Mysteries of the World._

 _I wonder if she's watching that right now? Or if she's with Shinra? Or maybe on her laptop?_

He texted her on a whim.

{Celty, what are you doing?}

She texted back within five minutes.

[I'm watching TV with Shinra. Do you need me to pick you up?]

{Believe it or not, Shizuo's cooking me dinner. I'm at his place. What're you watching?}

[My usual program.]

{Me, too. I saw it and thought of you. That's why I texted.}

[Izaya, are you bored?]

{No. Why?]

[You never text me unless you need something.]

{I just thought of you with a fond smile on my face when I tuned into your program.}

[Well, I'd rather you think of me with a fond smile than something else. Are you having a good day?]

{Heaps. Shizuo's fun. He's even unpredictable, at times.}

[Be nice, Izaya.]

{I helped him pick out clothes. I even offered to help him cook, but he made me sit down and I got bored so I watched TV. I hope he doesn't cut himself.}

[Well, it's better that you don't distract him in that regard. Hey, what do you think about Mothman?]

{An elaborate hoax.}

[Really?] They texted back and forth while the episode played.

Izaya had just cemented his bond with Celty and didn't even realize it. Shinra experienced mild jealousy when he learned who Celty was texting so much, but he convinced himself that Izaya was far more interested in Shizuo.

Of course, Shinra knew Izaya better than Izaya thought.

Outside the building, Masaomi and Akane peered in through a window from the bushes.

"He'll kill me if he finds us," Masaomi told Akane, ducking down while Shizuo chopped a tomato with deadly precision.

Akane still peered over. "He won't hurt me. It's so fun watching him … He's so focused. You can tell he really cares about what he's doing."

"Now's no time to jones over Shizuo!" Masaomi hissed, trying to tug her down. "What's Izaya doing?"

"Texting and watching TV."

Masaomi had been surprised beyond words when he'd seen Shizuo lift Izaya into his arms, carrying him like a new bride. He'd taken a break to laugh maniacally on a bench while everyone around him stared. Akane had sighed with a mixture of envy and happiness. Shizuo looked happy, which made her happy.

Love truly was selfless, she was learning.

Masaomi peeked back into the window. "I can't believe he's cooking for Izaya. I can't believe Izaya's at his place. I can't believe Shizuo CARRIED him here. Somehow, I CAN believe all of the weird little things Izaya says and the weird touching he does."

"You've known him a while," Akane remarked, peeping beside him. "Is it possible he likes Shizuo?"

"He hasn't tried to kill him yet, and he doesn't exactly seem scared …" Masaomi ducked back down. "If he has a plan, he's taking a while to do it. Either Shizuo's Heiwajima's stoic charm has finally won him over, or he's working on some elaborate revenge scheme."

"I think he's growing," Akane said. "He just took a little longer than most."

"He tried to get you to kill Shizuo!"

"He knew I wouldn't." She shrugged, a surprisingly forgiving girl. "He just wanted to tease him a little. Besides, I'm happy he did it: I got to meet Shizuo."

"All the ladies and some of the dudes love him, man," Masaomi sighed. "And he don't even know it."

"He'll make a wonderful husband," Akane said with a wistful sigh.

"Yeah?" Masaomi snickered. "Izaya'll make a terrible bride. Ha!"

Akane ducked down and sat beside him. "You bet on that outcome. You must secretly believe in it."

"I picked it because I'd get a kick out of it. I hope to hell Shizuo's a top who's as passionate in bed as he is in his fights."

Akane's cheeks flushed. "W-why's that?"

"Then Izaya'll feel some _real_ pain," Masaomi said to her with a demented look in his eye that made her retreat from him.

"R-really? It h-hurts?"

Masaomi's sunny demeanor returned just as quickly as it had disappeared. "You have nothing to worry about. It works differently for men!"

He was lucky Akabayashi was the one to hear this conversation and not Akane's father. His job, after all, was still to look after her.

Akane peeked through the window once more, unable to tear her eyes away for long. "It looks like he's done." She giggled.

"What?"

"Izaya leaned back to look into the kitchen and lost his balance. He flopped onto his back like a top."

Masaomi snickered. "Except he's a _bottom_!"

His phone went off in his pocket. When he checked it, it read: [Watch that sex talk in front of her, Kida. I'm watching you.]

He glanced around but was unable to spot Akabayashi. Regardless, he ceased the dirty talk.

"Shizuo's bringing food in. Aw, he's wearing an apron!"

Masaomi took in this sight with a broad, lopsided grin. "How domestic. This one's getting filed away in my mental photobook."

Shizuo and Izaya set up their dining trays and knelt in front of the TV. Shizuo seemed to ask Izaya what he was watching, and then changed the channel. Izaya made a cute face at Shizuo.

"He's asking to change it back," Akane described. "I use that face on my dad sometimes."

Shizuo gave in and the TV went back to some sort of white, devilish creature walking on a road.

"I think Celty watches that show," Masaomi commented. "Wonder if he was texting her."

"We can ask her."

"He's really going all out to make nice with people." Masaomi shook his head. "Knowing him, though … I don't know if I buy into it."

"Uh oh, something spilled."

Shizuo stood up. His bowl had tilted over somehow. He lifted it up again and made as if to throw it against the wall, but Izaya stood up and grabbed his wrist.

"Oh, shit. What's about to go down?"

Masaomi was expecting some broken dishes, a kicked over tray or two, maybe a broken screen door, or worse yet a ruined TV – but his eyes widened when he saw Izaya calm Shizuo in the way he'd learned worked best.

He hadn't been around for the incident in front of the clothes store – Akane had monitored it while he went to the restroom. When she'd told him, he'd laughed it off. A teenage girl's fantasy. Well, he guessed she'd told him the truth.

"That really seems to work …" he muttered. "I can't believe he doesn't shove him away."

"This one's longer," Akane said. "I wish I had a soundtrack for it. It's like a scene out of a drama."

"No shit."

Izaya let go and went into the kitchen. Shizuo followed. They returned to the living room with paper towels and cleaned up the spilled noodles and salad.

"And like that, he goes from a full-on meltdown to a smile," Masaomi eked out quietly. "Izaya's having the opposite effect on him than he used to. Am I in some sort of weird reverse world?"

Akane sighed again. "Wow. Izaya has found an abort button for Mr. Shizuo's temper."

"He saved the world," Masaomi quipped. "No explosions. At least until they wind up in the bedroom."

He swallowed when he recalled Akabayashi's warning. He turned and bowed swiftly.

Shizuo and Izaya had returned to their dinner. They sat cross-legged and their knees would brush gently now and again. Every once in a while they'd turn their head just enough to glance at one another.

 _Shit. I might actually win that bet. Is it fucked up I'd actually want to spy on the first time they go to bed? Just for shits and giggles._

 _If Izaya's playing Shizuo, that's fucked up. Whatever the case, Shizuo's happy for now._

 _I'm not close to Shizuo, but do I hate Izaya enough to wish he WAS playing Shizuo? Just so I could see him die for real?_

When he looked back at the two contentedly eating their food and watching Celty's favorite show, Masaomi realized he was, at his core, an optimist who wanted others to be happy – even at the expense of his own satisfaction.

He kept his last dirty thought to himself.

 _I hope he fucks you as hard as he fought you. But you'd probably like it, you twisted weirdo._

Inside, Izaya had a sneaking suspicion they were being watched. Probably by someone who was involved in the plan to fix his relationship with Shizuo to begin with.

He played the part they wanted him to.

But at what point did fiction and reality merge?

He grabbed the remote and returned the TV to the channel wrestling had been on.

"Watch what makes you happy, Shizuo."


	9. Even Though Our Love is Doomed

**Chapter 9. Even Though Our Love is Doomed**

Izaya sat across from his former employee eating okonomiyaki. "Namie, I figure you'd understand more than anyone."

He looked to the people seated next to her. "Except for possibly the two of you."

Seiiji and Mika were crammed into the same side of the booth as Namie. Seiiji was sandwiched and had very little room to eat. His elbows constantly banged into sides and breasts.

"It means doing anything for them."

"Without a thought for yourself!"

"Utter devotion."

"So," Namie added, "you went from wanting to kill him to wanting to kill for him?"

Izaya's lips slid into a smile Namie was familiar with. "I don't have any plans to kill anyone. That's never been something I was truly interested in."

"Except for him."

"He's still the only thing I'm truly interested in," Izaya divulged.

"You're obsessed," Seiiji commented, glaring as his elbow bumped into Mika and his food tumbled out of his chopsticks.

"I can relate," Mika said with a broad grin.

"You want to know how you know, right?" Namie asked.

Izaya linked his fingers and placed them in front of his chameleon's smile. "Tell me, dear Namie."

"Everything you do, you do for them."

"Every thought in your mind that isn't necessary to every day living is for them," Seiiji added.

"You'll learn everything about them." Mika clung to Seiiji like a barnacle.

"Your main goal is their happiness." Namie smiled at Seiiji, but her smile shrank as she eyed Mika.

"Even if it makes you miserable, it's only for a little while. When you see them happy, their happiness becomes yours."

"I'd be happy if I could eat without my food falling," Seiiji said firmly.

He ended up next to Izaya while Namie and Mika were at the far ends of their bench.

"Is this really about Shizuo?"

Izaya looked into Namie's icy gaze. "You know I've always been passionate about him."

"Passionate about killing him."

"What's your agenda?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "Not that I don't appreciate the gifts you obviously gave us, but I've known you for a regrettably long time."

"Celty and Shinra wanted me to make it up to him. I have been. In that process, I've learned I enjoy it. So I want to continue to enjoy it, increasingly so."

"You want to take it to the next level?" Mika asked eagerly, her milk tea straw stuck in her mouth with a pearl still lodged in it.

"Not in the way you're suggesting." Izaya smirked. "Girls these days are so dirty-minded!"

Seiiji stopped eating and aimed a chopstick at Izaya. "Don't insult my girlfriend."

"But Seiiji, you let him insult your beloved sister for so long!" Namie whined, softening as soon as she looked at him.

Seiiji poked Izaya's arm with the chopstick. "Don't insult my sister either."

Izaya looked down at the chopstick with an amused grin. "What could you do with those? Poke my eyes out? Then I could go around saying, 'Love is blind!' How tragic."

"Yes. Very Shakespearian." Namie narrowed her eyes at him. "Listen, I know you're not stupid. You've probably figured out that we're all rooting for you to fix things with him."

Izaya nodded and rested his back against the rear of the booth. "Go on."

"We'll all do anything in our power to help you achieve that."

"Why?"

"So you'll finally focus all of your attention on him, and he can focus all of his attention on you. With you two consumed by one another, Ikebukuro will finally be peaceful and safe for Seiiji and I again."

Izaya sensed there was more, and Namie knew him well enough to see he had picked up on this.

"Plus, not that I care about her, but Mika and I bet on you two hooking up."

Seiiji shook his head. "I only bet that you'd be friendly. They want to push you further."

This was news to Izaya. He leaned forward again. "A bet, huh? Money's riding on this?"

Namie nodded.

"Who bet on what?"

"Why? Are there people you want to lose? You can't let this influence whatever it is you're doing."

Izaya was secretly thrilled by the thought of people being invested enough to place wagers on this. "There's three outcomes, right? Death, neutrality, and love. Did Shinra and Celty bet? Since I have a feeling she masterminded this whole thing …"

"Not Celty."

So Celty was truly a good person – the truest of ironies, given her supernatural nature. Not that placing bets made the others bad – but Celty had only wanted for him and Shizuo to make up all along.

His love for her was surpassing his love for other humans. He recognized this growth and it pleased him. He even considered his own internal development a form of observation that intrigued him.

"Namie, as an esteemed former colleague, I want to know what you think."

"Why?"

"Because I value your input."

Namie recognized his false smile, but his intense gaze was less jovial than usual. There was an element of truth to his answer.

She honored this with what he wanted. "Heiwajima is simple. He wants to be loved. You're giving him what he craves. What you want is to influence people. You're influencing him. So there's a truth and an intensity to your actions. However, you grow bored quickly."

"I'm not bored yet."

"And when you're bored," she continued, "you'll resort to other means to produce other results. You'll try to bring out the monster again."

 _I don't want the monster. I want the man._

"Your assessment of me is impressive but not entirely accurate." Izaya slid his eyes over to Mika's literally bright but figuratively dull gaze. "Tell me what you think."

"I think love always wins out in the end," Mika replied without hesitation. "As long as you know it's there."

"Love is such an abstract concept," Izaya said with a sigh. "Which returns us to the initial point of the conversation and our reason for being assembled here."

"Look," Seiiji spoke up, "all you talk about is this guy. You're obsessed. Obsession is a form of love. Another aspect is devotion. Giving yourself to your love and becoming its vessel. I don't care one way or another if you love a guy, or even if you want to screw him, but you'd better not break his heart – because then you'll break my sister's and Mika's."

"Seiiji!" they gasped simultaneously.

"Will you come after me with your chopsticks?" Izaya said in a condescending tone. "Will you poke me in the legs with them like you poked pens into Shizuo's?"

"Worse."

Izaya believed it.

He still didn't understand the act of love, but the concept was starting to form in his mind.

 _So I love him. Just like all of my other beloved humans. Everything I do for them, I do for him a thousand-fold. But first I masterminded schemes to kill him. Now I have to mastermind a scheme that shows him the depth of my love._

 _Devotion, huh?_

 _What's the ultimate form of devotion? At least in his eyes._

 _A declaration._

"You've all been very helpful. I'll take care of the bill."

Izaya put his plan into motion.

Izaya sent a mass e-mail to everyone from Celty's group, including Shingen and Emilia (to her dismay.)

 **To All,**

 **You're cordially invited to a gathering paid for by me, Izaya Orihara. This is to thank you for your continued acceptance of my renewed presence within the city, and a show of faith in this path to my redemption.**

 **Perhaps some of you don't believe in me, and that's okay. To the rest of you, I won't let you down. Regardless, I love all of you equally and will be providing your meals for the evening – drinks are unlimited, alcoholic or not.**

 **Your presence will honor me. If you're ambivalent about attending, I can ensure you will be missing out on something you would later regret.**

 **This is not a threat, FYI.**

 **Simon and Dennis, you've continually encouraged me despite my mischievous manipulations within your beloved city. All of the profit will go to you as I ask you to host this gathering at your establishment, should you have room.**

 **The mind I possess is mine, and it has the capacity to do good as much as it did evil. Or such as you perceive it. What I did was a show of interest in humanity, a love letter to all of my beloved humans, but I recognize this didn't translate. My error was in my communication.**

 **Therefore, let it be known that I intend to show my love in much more positive ways. Those of you who supported me the most will be rewarded in the most personal ways I know.**

 **Bear with me as I continue to grow. As I continue to learn. And know that, above all, I am an observer. It is because of my innate interest in you that I became involved with you. Sometimes, to watch is just as intriguing as to act.**

 **After all, why is porn so popular?**

 **Just kidding.**

 **Please join me this Sunday at 7:00 PM, if your schedules allow and the interest is present. If Simon and Dennis permit, of course.**

 **Thank you and sincerely,**

 **Izaya Orihara**

He sent a message to Shizuo within the private chat.

Chrome: Shizuo, come to dinner with me Sunday at 6:30, Russia Sushi. My treat. Enjoy the latest gift I sent you. Izaya

Shizuo responded: Sure, thanks. See you then

Wonder of wonders, he'd learned how to use emoticons.

That tingling feeling returned to Izaya's fingers. His stomach felt uneasy. He suddenly felt a little clammy.

 _Anxiety? Is that what this is? Nerves?_

 _Ha. What do I have to be nervous about? I know what I'm doing._

 _Of course, when there's a variable in the equation, the result is unforeseeable._

 _Numerous variables, in fact. Numerous possible answers._

 _Ah, but I'm no mathematician._

 _Still, I know people._

 _Not him, though. I'm trying. I know more and more about him with every interaction, but what lies at the heart of him?_

 _This is the point of no return. We'll soon see if your investment pays off literally and figuratively, everyone._

 **[He's planning something big.]** Celty had gathered everyone involved in the plan for a briefing. **[Are you planning on going?]**

"And pass up free unlimited booze? Damn skippy I'll be there," Rokujo said with a tilt of his hat.

Akabayashi grinned. "You're speaking my language, friend."

"Of course we'll be there," Mikado agreed. "To support you, Celty. After all, you masterminded this."

"And it's going so well!" Anri put in.

"I wouldn't miss it," Masaomi said with a smirk. "What I've seen surprised me. It's going better than we ever coulda hoped."

"Izaya has developed an abort button for Shizuo's temper," Akane declared. Everyone looked at her, awaiting the reveal. "A hug around the neck. It seems to either surprise him or calm him. Either way, we saw him do it twice."

"He did it on the ferris wheel, too," Erika agreed. "I saw it. I knew then I'd be winning big money."

"I have to say, I'm kinda shocked," Kyohei said. He removed his bandanna and wrung it in his hands. "A, by Izaya's personal progress, and B, by his success with Shizuo. It makes you wonder how much could've been prevented if we'd just decided to do this long ago."

"It doesn't matter," Rokujo said with a wave of his hand. "I know you have a gentle heart and a steely exterior, my friend, but what's done is done. Now we go on."

"I still do not trust Izaya," Vorona said. "But I want to, for Shizuo. So I will attend."

"Me, too," Tom added immediately. "He's my friend after all."

"I will be there for the moment that is undoubtedly intended for my brother," Kasuka said. He held Dokusonmaru, who mewed impertinently in an attempt to get free to attack bugs. They were at the park outside Celty's apartment. Izaya had gone on an outing with Shizuo – a thought they were all still getting used to.

"The thought of Izaya's determination directed into showing his love to Shizuo is almost as scary as his relentless attempts to kill him." Shinra shuddered. "That's the only thing I could think would warrant a gathering this big."

"He's figured out we did this," Namie revealed. "This may be his way of trying to involve us. Possibly to thank and reward us, if we're thinking generously, or to embarrass all of us in one fell swoop, if we think realistically."

"Aw, Sis, think positive!" Mika said with a friendly smile but a deadly twinkle in her eye.

"At any rate, there's no way we'll miss this," Shingen said. "I haven't been that involved in it, personally, but I _am_ very intrigued."

"Blond man very red in face when I suggested to him short, slender man was a bed friend." Emilia's Japanese failed her yet again. "He expanded all of my inflatables!"

"I think you mean, 'popped all of your balloons,' dear." Shingen replied. "And he missed two of them."

She giggled. Celty threw up a little inside.

 **[So, everyone's in? Raise your hand.]**

Everyone did. Mairu and Kururi were positively giddy.

"We've been waiting for so long for big brother to settle down with a nice whoever!"

"He's the 30 year-old virgin."

Masaomi and Rokujo echoed one another's laugh.

Erika snickered. "There's two more soulmates for you right there." She noticed Kyohei and Saburo's scornful glares. "Oh, are you two jealous? I'll make it a foursome: Saburo loves Kyohei, Kyohei loves Rochi, and Rochi loves Kida. Like a Gordian knot of love!"

Kyohei said something he never thought he'd say to her: "Please focus on Shizuo and Izaya."

 **[Simon, Dennis? We're good to go?]**

"Da! Sushi is good for everyone!" Simon agreed.

"We'd never turn down that much bread," Dennis said. "I don't how much Izaya held onto, but we'll make it happen."

 **[Well, everyone, thank you for all of your hard work and I'll see you there!]**

The energy was palpable as everyone departed, talking amidst themselves and bidding Celty and Shinra farewell. Everyone was curious what fruits their efforts had borne and how much Izaya had really changed. The project had also bonded them together in a deeper way, so at the very least, they could take comfort in this.

They'd have to if this failed.

When the day came, Russia Sushi was the most packed it had ever been. Izaya had gotten there earlier with Shizuo and they'd settled in to order when the first guests came in: Akane and Akabayashi.

Shizuo didn't know why they were there, but he was happy to see Akane so he didn't mind when Izaya invited them to join them. Then Masaomi and Rokujo walked in and sat at the booth next to them. Shizuo's eyes slid over to them when they waved, but he didn't seem terribly bothered.

Then Mikado and Anri filed in and sat with Masaomi and Rokujo. Shizuo thought they were there to join Masaomi and Rokujo, so he ignored it.

Then Namie, Seiiji and Mika sat at the booth to the right of Izaya and Shizuo. Shizuo was starting to wonder if there was a special going on at Russia Sushi.

When Shingen and Emilia wandered in and sat with Namie and co (Namie threw some intense shade at her uncle), Shizuo was really starting to think Izaya had invited him here to take advantage of a cheap offer. He opened his mouth to ask when Mairu and Kururi bounded in and flopped down next to their brother. Their gleeful greetings drowned out Shizuo, but then his own brother and Ruri walked in and Shizuo knew SOMETHING was up.

Akabayashi and Akane moved to make room for them, sitting with Shingen and Namie's crews. Then Tom and Vorona showed up and came to say hello to Shizuo. The crowding was starting to overwhelm him.

By the time Kadota's crew blew in and sat at yet another booth, Shizuo was overwhelmed with chatter and body heat. He looked at Izaya in a wild panic.

"What the hell is this, Izaya?"

Finally, Celty and Shinra showed up. Izaya ignored Shizuo and stood up to wave to them.

Shizuo reached for his pants leg to pull him down, but snatched air as Izaya went and HUGGED Celty of all things.

Celty and Shinra squeezed in next to Mairu and Kururi. Shizuo looked amongst everyone, counting 27 people including himself.

He put his hand on the table to raise himself up, but Izaya pushed the abort button.

"Thank you for coming," he said, his face pressed to the side of Shizuo's. "I'm actually impressed all of you managed to make it."

Shizuo's baffled face and the sight of the Abort Button Maneuver drew everyone's attention to him and Izaya. He calmly removed Izaya's arms from his neck.

"Why are you all here?"

"I invited them," Izaya answered. Simon and Dennis hurried over to get everyone's orders. They had kitchen help and servers as well, in preparation for the crowd.

Shizuo watched the frenzy of activity and felt rather like he was lost amidst a sea of people. He wasn't claustrophobic and didn't suffer from anxiety, per say, but he definitely wasn't a fan of huge gatherings like this.

He didn't hate any of the people here. Hell, he couldn't even remember most of their names or some of their faces.

So the question was …

"Why?"

Izaya leaned in and pressed his lips near Shizuo's ear. "They're the ones who wanted us to make up."

"Ah." No doubt Celty and Shinra were the driving forces. Overwhelmed by pity for their wounded charge, they'd endeavored to find a way to fix him. And Shizuo was the instrument that had both opened the wound and could fix it.

 _Somehow I'm the key to this. Why? Why would Izaya invite all of them here and not tell me?_

 _I don't like it._

He turned his face towards Izaya's, which was rather close. "Iza …"

"That a new nickname, Shizuo?" Shinra asked.

Shizuo shrugged. He'd let it slip out on occasion. In turn, Izaya had called him Zuo now and again. The memory of the loathed 'Shizu-chan' was fading.

It would take a lot longer for the others to be absorbed into the grey matter of his brain.

Shizuo had downed three shots of sake and felt a little woozy. Izaya had also had several. Liquid courage? Or something meant to loosen him up for deception?

Shizuo sat at the end of the table with Izaya squeezed in next to him. On their left sat Kasuka, Ruri, Tom and Vorona.

On their right was Celty and Shinra, and Mairu and Kururi. Izaya should have moved to the opposite end, but he was attached to Shizuo.

Shizuo slid his hand under the table and gripped Izaya's knee. "Iza, please tell me what's going on."

Shizuo's earnest plea softened Izaya, who was enjoying being surrounded by so many people with such varying relationships. He'd resolved to draw this out, but seeing Shizuo like this, resorting to practically clinging to Izaya for dear life, weakened him.

"All right, all right, I won't draw out the suspense, for Zuo's sake," Izaya drawled, standing up. All eyes moved to him.

"Firstly, thank you for coming."

"Thanks for the free dinner and drinks," Shinra replied. Several of them held up these aforementioned drinks. Mairu and Kururi giggled at the sight of Kasuka across from them. Ruri didn't seem bothered in the least by this.

Saburo ogled Ruri from two tables over. Kyohei kept having to remind him to drink, or at least shove something in his mouth to keep it shut. Erika suggested something, but Walker shut hers.

"Secondly, I'm sure you all know of Zuo and mine's storied past. It's part of the mythology of Ikebukuro now." He held his drink and cut through the air with his other arm, risking a spill atop Shinra's head. Celty sat on the edge of anxiety, wishing he'd put the drink down or sit down.

"We both know that every single one of you came here for two reasons: to get free drinks, and to see what would happen."

Seiiji was suffering from crowding again. Shingen's gas mask was strapped to the top of his head, allowing him to eat. He looked remarkably young for being Shinra's father. Perhaps the mask was the key.

Kyohei's table had quieted down enough to listen, as had Mikado's (though Rokujo seemed to be flitting between this table and Kyohei's, fueling Erika's fantasies).

"Also, we know about the plan."

That silenced them. Izaya smiled.

"I don't mind. Do you, Zuo?"

Shizuo shook his head but remained silent.

"The fact that you all cared enough to do this means a lot. So I figured I'd honor your efforts." He swigged back the rest of his sake. "And I know how much of a stake you have in the result."

They all remained silent, on the edge of their peaked curiosity. Celty was relieved his drink was empty, at least. But then she started to worry about the cup falling onto Shinra's head and breaking.

"It's been three months since I returned, and I feel quite happy with how things have developed. I'm nearly healed, a little plumper, and a lot less despised. The ability you have to forgive is remarkable. I know there's no forgetting, and I certainly won't forget what I've done. Do I regret it? Not necessarily. I don't think we should waste energy on regret. Accept it as a mistake and move forward, learning from it. It's rather delayed, but I'm learning. I've learned more about love, selflessness and human understanding from the people I've met in this great adventure than I ever did in the cutthroat world in which I spent my life."

Celty clasped her hands together, proud like the Big Sister she'd become.

Shizuo's silence was either out of consideration for Izaya, or because of some sort of tension within himself. Perhaps a combination of both.

"I was a villain. A schemer. I manipulated, pulled strings, played games. And in those moments, I learned things about all of you. Mikado, you impressed me most of all with your ascent to leader of the Dollars and your desire for a life outside the ordinary. Yet here we both are, more appreciative of this ordinary life." He set his cup down and Celty relaxed – but then he filled it again.

"Next to us, we have people we care about. You, wielder of the demon sword who loves people as much as I do – you finally attained your own identity, your own capacity to love. And your love has given Mikado the extraordinary element he craved."

"Masaomi, I know what I coerced Saki into doing was a terrible thing. Still, allow her to accept some culpability for accepting my idea. Just kidding – that's what you thought I'd say! No, I'm to blame. It was a terrible thing to do, manipulating children like that. But I was a child myself. Let's grow together, hm?"

Masaomi arched his eyebrows and lifted his chin, but all the while he kept thinking of Izaya getting a sound pounding. This brought a smile to his face.

"If I went into every wrong I have ever done you, we'd never get to the point," Izaya said, a splash of sake raining down on Shinra's head. "But know this: you're all here today to receive my gratitude for what you've done for me. You've helped me accept love and find it within myself to show my love in healthier ways. Without that capacity, I was alone, miserable and bitter. Most of all, I resented those who I didn't deem worthy of love."

He furtively glanced where everyone anticipated him to – everyone but the focus of this glance.

"But I see now why you love this person. I thought he was impatient, out of control, irrational, idiotic, unpredictable – but he has patience when he isn't pushed, and controls himself far more than he lets on. He sees things for how they are on the surface, but this uncomplicated nature can be truer than mining the depths for what might not be there. His intelligence is subtle, not flaunted like a weapon. Yet he's still unpredictable, and this does still intimidate me."

"All he has to do to set my nerves on fire and stir my gut is to look at me. That much hasn't changed."

Shizuo's eyes shifted up to Izaya. "Iza, you're drunk."

"You've realized I'm talking about you, surely." Izaya lifted his drinking hand and a fountain of sake narrowly missed Shinra. Celty quickly flung a cloth napkin over his head. He sat there with it tolerantly, tugging it just enough to see.

"What are you getting at? Why are you saying all of this?"

"I have to continue to atone for the suffering I caused, and that'll take perhaps longer than I have, but I'll give it my all. Because my ingenuity can be used to that end as well as it was the other. And for you, Shizuo, I'll do anything you ask."

"Sit down." Shizuo tugged on his pant leg, but there wasn't much fabric to tug. They fit quite snugly.

"I will. But first, everyone, the confession you wished for."

Shizuo sighed and moved his hands to his lap. He wanted to go home. He wanted Izaya to drink water and go to bed. For Celty to get him home safely. He wanted to sleep.

There was a lot to think about, and he didn't want to think just yet.

Izaya held out his hands and spread them dramatically, the cup flying behind Shinra's head and clunking into the wall. "I love all humans, each and every one of you – but I love you, Shizuo Heiwajima, most of all!"

The jaw of every single customer in the restaurant dropped. But the only reaction he cared about was Shizuo's. He honed in on Shizuo's face like a tight zoom in a film, everyone else's faces blurring on either side of his.

Some expected Shizuo to blow up. Others expected him to destroy the table he sat at. The rest timidly hoped he might reply to this declaration.

Izaya was, for once, sincere and direct with his feelings. And he was rewarded by Shizuo standing up and calmly and quickly waltzing out of the restaurant.

The building was silent.

Everyone looked at Izaya, unsure of what they'd see.

His brow furrowed and his mouth tightened into a taut frown. His brown eyes dulled and he swallowed.

They wondered if he was going to go after Shizuo, or if one of them should.

Was it best not to interfere any longer?

Had they guided Izaya into a love that would break his heart, the heart they'd only recently come to discover he had?

Izaya's pride had been shattered. He slumped to the ground like a slinky returning to its original form. Utterly defeated, he rested his head against the booth and let out a drawn out sigh that was almost like a groan.

"You finally succeeded in killing me, Shizu-chan."

 _That's it!_ Celty stood up abruptly. _We've worked so hard to get him to this point; I'm not giving up!_

Shinra grabbed her arm. She typed and shoved her PDA towards him.

[Look after Izaya. I'm going after Shizuo. That IDIOT!]

Her feelings for Izaya and Shizuo had completely switched in the moment she saw Izaya's face fall and Shizuo so coldly, wordlessly walk through the door.

She tracked him easily. He'd chewed so many wads of nicotine he'd spat them out and left a trail. Plus, she knew where he'd go.

She found him at the park near his house, sitting on his usual bench. She couldn't make out his expression from far away, but in the dim moonlight she could see better as she approached: complete neutrality.

He didn't care? Or maybe he'd been stunned silly.

Celty wished she had a voice so she could yell at him. Instead, she yanked a rock out of the ground and hurled it into the spot beside him, which Izaya had occupied on occasion. It tore clean through the wood and Shizuo leapt to his feet.

"Izaya!" He lifted his arm, his hand balled into a fist. But he dropped it when he saw Celty. "Celty?"

She stormed up to him and slapped him hard in the face, leaving a red welt. He was so stupefied he didn't retaliate.

[WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? IDIOT!]

"Why the hell am I an idiot?" he asked. His voice raised an octave. "HUH? WHY DID I DESERVE THAT?"

[Deserve what? The slap? Or that confession? You didn't deserve that, I'll tell you that much!]

"Don't you see, damn it? He got everyone there to embarrass me! He lowered my defenses to get me to trust him, then he gathered everyone so he could make fun of me. He wanted me to what, fucking kiss him right there in front of you all and then reveal it was all part of some fucking plan of his?!"

[No! Don't YOU see? He wanted to prove to you that he meant it! To declare your love in front of all of your friends takes serious conviction!]

"If he wanted to tell me a thing like that, he should have told me in private!"

[It's easier to fool one person than twenty. He thought you'd only believe him if every else saw. We believe him. I can't believe _you_.]

"The hell, Celty?"

[You walked out on him! How hard do you think it was for him to develop those feelings! To recognize what they were? After all these years, the two of you were on the verge of something else. Something equally as passionate as your former rivalry. And you crushed it. You crushed _him_.]

"He's fine. He doesn't feel like we do. Hell, he doesn't understand love."

[People like you are the reason he was so lonely! You know what he said when you walked out? 'You finally killed me, Shizu-chan.' You're going to bring him full circle back to hating you unless you apologize!]

"He just has a flair for drama, fucking …" He wanted to say 'flea' but it didn't feel right anymore. He sighed.

[Shizuo, as your friend, a friend who can keep your confidence, tell me: have you ever been in love?]

"Celty, I don't even know what the hell love is. Not really."

[Love is sharing a toothbrush. Love is taking turns on chore duties. Love is making them tea when they're sick. Love is writing them a letter for their birthday. Love is making them dinner, or picking up food for them when they're too tired to cook. Love is letting your loved one pick the TV channel-]

"The hell does that apply to love? That's fucking general stuff!" Shizuo was frustrated by his inability to understand.

[Fine. You want to know what love is? Going back into that restaurant and apologizing. If you want to tell him how you feel in private, or that you need time to figure it out, you can – but TELL him. Don't just stalk out of there and leave him in the lurch!]

"Is he still … He's still there?" Shizuo's softening expression gave Celty hope.

[Right where you left him.]

"It's going to be so embarrassing …" Shizuo ruffled his hair and looked at the ground.

[How do you think **he** felt?]

"Shit. Damn. Fine." He started to walk away, but he paused and pointed a finger at Celty. "I don't know that I love him, but I care about him." He lowered his finger and his defiant gaze relaxed. "Damn it. I let my guard down."

Celty walked up next to him. [So did he. Let's go. He can't leave unless someone agrees to take him home. I think they're all hoping you'll walk back in.]

Shizuo was silent the rest of the walk back. When he finally stood in front of the door to the restaurant, he looked over at Celty.

"They're going to think I'm a damned fool."

[They already do.]

Something in Shizuo's eyes gleamed in the reflection of her phone.

He did something entirely illogical: he shoved his hand in his pockets and kicked in the door. Celty threw up her hands in shock, nearly dropping her phone.

"III~ZAYA."

Everyone stared at him, some with mouthfuls of food, some with chopsticks aimed at their mouths. Others spat out drinks or spilled them.

Izaya lifted his head from the table and his eyes moved up to Shizuo's.

Shizuo removed his hand from his pocket and pointed at him. "You want dramatic declarations, huh?"

There was absolute stillness and silence. All eyes were on Shizuo.

"I care about you, damn it. And I'm sorry I walked out. I believe you."

Everyone swallowed or set down their chopsticks, spoons and cups. Izaya's eyebrows knitted together and he bit his lip.

Shizuo flipped his hand over and beckoned to Izaya. "Don't sit there looking fucking sad and cute. Get up and let's go."

Someone giggled but it was quickly muffled.

"If you don't, I'll come in and carry you out of here." Shizuo pointed with his other hand to the doorway. "I'll carry you over the threshold like a bride. That dramatic enough for you?"

"So passionate …" A girlish voice murmured.

"Total bottom, I told you." This voice was easily identifiable as Masaomi's.

"Shut up!" Shizuo shifted his pointing finger to Masaomi while still holding the curled hand towards Izaya. "I'm talking to Izaya, not you!"

In truth, Shizuo was possibly the only person present who didn't know what a 'bottom' referred to. Even Simon knew.

Izaya stood up slowly and all eyes shifted to him. Celty remained beside Shizuo like a best man.

"How can I trust you anymore?"

Shizuo dropped his arm and cursed. Then he took a step forward and everyone gasped.

"No damage restaurant any further, Shizuo!" Simon pleaded.

Shizuo ignored him, his eyes focused on Izaya.

"I killed you, huh? You dead inside?"

Izaya pressed his back to the wall. Shinra started to stand up, but Celty shook her head.

Shizuo walked right up to the edge of the table. Everyone that was seated at it pressed their backs against the wall. He walked right on top of it instead, kicking off dishes that stood in the way to his most direct path to Izaya. They landed in some laps, others clattered to the floor. Simon cried inside.

Celty walked into the restaurant, trusting in Shizuo. Shinra looked at her and trusted her own confidence implicitly. He stayed out of it.

Shizuo stepped down and snagged Izaya by the collar as he started to edge away.

"If you want me to breathe life back into you, I will. Mouth to mouth, or however the hell you want."

This bold statement made a few jaws drop in utter awe. Erika leaned forward, on the edge of her seat in the most literal way.

The two of them were locked into a completely familiar image, but the circumstances were utterly different. It was surreal to say the least.

A familiar song started to play from a cell phone.

Shizuo snapped his head in its direction. "NOT NOW."

Birds suddenly disappeared.

Izaya reached his hand up to Shizuo's. "Let go and let's go, Shizuo."

Shizuo let go of his collar but snatched him by the hand instead, leading him out. He walked right back over the table while Izaya gingerly avoided the spilled dishes along the right. Simon died a little inside with every ceramic crunch.

"Celty, let me borrow Shooter." Shizuo said as he walked next to her. She stepped aside with a nod. Shinra, along with everyone else, hurried to stand up and crowded around her.

"Any of you follows us, I'll kill you," Shizuo threatened without looking behind him at any one of them.

Every single one of them took that threat very seriously.

Celty and Shinra stood at the doorway with everyone else squeezing in behind them to watch Shizuo and Izaya depart. It was in a rather inelegant way, as Shizuo couldn't drive a car or ride a motorcycle. It had been a long time since he'd ridden a bicycle.

Shinra looked at Celty once they were out of sight. "Celty? How are we going to get home?"

There was a collective exhale as everyone released the tension from the scene. Simon hurried over to the ruined table. "Ah! Love is a broken table!"

"Lyubov' zla . Eto zastavit vas vlyubit'sya v kozla." Vorona's proverb was slightly demeaning in Izaya's case.

Tom had been studying Russian. "Love is cruel? It makes you fall on a cow?"

Vorona smiled at him. "Love is evil. Will make you fall into love with goat."

Akabayashi cleared his throat. "Well, the gift Izaya gave me will be a gift to all."

Everyone looked at him, intrigued.

Akabayashi smiled. "Let me get us a few cars and I'll take everyone to see it."


	10. And The Winners Are?

**Author's note:** This is the final chapter, sans an epilogue to follow. Warnings for slight smut. Enjoy, and thanks for all of your wonderful feedback!

 **Chapter 10. And the Winners Are …?**

Everyone stood anxiously at the Awakusu-kai HQ. Within it, Akabayashi had attached his gift, a portable video/audio surveillance device, to the multiple monitors the Awakusu-kai had set up. The audio played from the speakers, and everyone had plenty of screens to scan. There were multiple angles of every room in Shizuo's apartment.

[Did you set these up at my place too?] Celty typed, dreading the possibility that Akabayashi might've seen her and Shinra …

"Nah. I can only do one place at a time, but I figured tonight, if anything were to go down, it might be at Shizuo's. Since Izaya lives with you, there's no way they woulda gone there. And the park is too public. So here we are." He pointed. "And there they are."

They'd arrived in time to catch Shizuo and Izaya's return into the apartment. Shizuo crashed through the door with Izaya behind him, their hands linked (not fingers, though).

They broke apart and Izaya flung his coat to the ground. "You got twigs and leaves all over it!"

"Sorry I suck at steering a bicycle made out of shadows!"

"They're both a little drunk still," Tom observed. "Damn. Izaya runs his mouth even more when he drinks."

"And Shizuo quieter." Vorona watched with interest as Shizuo stormed into the kitchen. He pulled out a pitcher of water and drank straight from it.

"Don't you walk away from me!" Izaya yelled after him. "Not for a second time tonight!"

"He's pretty fearless _now_ ," Rokujo commented with a little grimace. "He'll end up with a punch to the schnoz like me."

"Why the hell'd you go and say that in front of everyone? Why couldn't you tell me here, or the park, or fuck all anywhere else that TWENTY-FIVE other people weren't at?!" Shizuo yelled from the kitchen.

"I thought it would show you I meant it! That we should show them they were successful!"

"Were they?!"

"You tell me! I thought so!"

"Aw, Izuo's first argument," Walker said with a grin that was wider than it had any right to be.

Erika beamed next to him. "The angrier they get, the better their make-up sex will be! Besides, I think Shizaya's a better portmanteau."

Kyohei turned his head towards her slowly. "Stop talking over them. You're ruining the flow of their dialogue."

Shizuo started to walk out of the kitchen just as Izaya started to walk in. They both stopped, at an impasse. Shizuo's face fell. "Shit, I don't know. I thought it was an angle, for you to prove yourself to them. That instead of killing me, you'd lead me on, make me care about you, make sure everyone else knew I did, then drop me and throw it in my face that I was the asshole that fell for yet another one of your tricks."

"Did you fall for it?"

There wasn't a close-up camera, but Shizuo's tone was tense. "Don't fucking tell me-"

"I fell, I fell hard." Izaya crumpled to his knees. "I fell all the way to the bottom, you know. You beat me down. Every bit of it was true. I was crushed. My bones, my body, my spirit. Celty and Shinra helped to build me back up, and the gift they wanted was for me to make up with you. So I decided I'd try to give it to them, that it'd be fun. An experiment, a challenge-"

"That's all I am? You're still messing with me after all of this time?!"

Izaya looked up at Shizuo with a bitter expression on his face. "Look at me, here at your feet. Do I look happy about it? Every endeavor in my life is an experiment. I was pleased with the results of this one. You were happy. I was … developing feelings for you. Different ones. I can't explain them. They're new to me. I care what you think of me. I care what THEY think of me. That's why when you left, I was crushed. Love is allowing yourself to be hurt by others. I hate it. I used that word so liberally but never knew what the meaning was. I never opened my heart because I was afraid it would break, and look what happened to me!"

Shizuo folded his arms. "Izaya … I never know what's truth and what's a lie with you. How can I trust you?"

Izaya wiped his face with his arm, an expression of sincere anger and frustration shaping it that no one had seen before. "TRUST THE 1%!"

Shizuo knelt down in front of him. "I want to. But with everything that's happened … fuck. The things you wrote to me when you suspected it was me, you can't say those weren't meant to fluster me. They did. You still do it. You touch me, you look at me, you just … you're looking for a damned reaction all of the time. What do you want?"

"I wanted to see what would happen. I didn't know what I wanted _to_ happen. Or so I thought. It turned out I knew. So I was trying to make it happen without even knowing it. Trying for every possible outcome, hoping for that one. It turns out I'm not confident enough to go for things directly. The drive I have to maneuver other people doesn't apply to myself. My games didn't involve me – I was the player. I was so removed from them I felt detached. I'm a part of this; I'm involved, I'm at the core, and so are you. Push me. Make a play."

Shizuo scratched his head. The better part of Celty's gang were also puzzling over Izaya's cryptic dialogue.

"Izaya … why'd you have to make me like you?"

Shizuo fell back on his rear and pulled his knees up, resting his face on them and wrapping his arms around his head with a deep sigh.

"Revelry is jolly, hangover is heavy," Simon repeated.

"I don't understand what really happened between us …" Izaya admitted. He curled up into a fetal position across from Shizuo. "I want to know you, but you won't let me. Not completely."

"Of course I have a guard up around you. You … you know I'm not oblivious, right? Shit, I've never had a girlfriend, but I can read the signs. I just don't know _why_ you started throwing them at me. And then that word? Love? How can you say it to me? Putting me on the spot like that. I don't know what it means, either!"

"So why can't we discover it together?"

Erika elbowed Walker but kept her mouth shut, apart from a restrained squeal of delight.

Shizuo looked at Izaya for a long time, completely silent.

 _7 seconds. Either he wants to kill me again, or …_

Izaya took a chance on the latter. "Maybe love is a hurricane. The rays of the burning sun. A thousand drums beating at once. Your cologne, the one I bought you and you still wear. Your smile and the light that shines in your eyes. The way the roll of your jeans sits just above your knee, and the little scab etched into it that tells a story of one of your clumsy misadventures."

Shizuo moved over next to Izaya and reached out to grab the bottom of his shirt. He tugged it down gently.

"That bit of stomach … it was showing again."

It was obvious Shizuo was completely at a loss for how to respond to what Izaya had said. And that this was, for him, a way of showing love.

"The problem is, I think, there's no middle for us. It's all in. It's always been strong, right? The thread between us." Izaya looked up at Shizuo, who then laid down next to him.

"I just want to know that you care about me and you're not trying to screw me over. Then I'll trust it. The 1%. That when you said that, back there in front of everyone, you'd say it again and mean it. In front of everyone or just in front of me."

"If I was lying to you, I wouldn't be here curled on the floor like a baby with tears in my eyes, would I? I'm a director, not an actor."

Shizuo reached out to touch his face, just to make sure the tears were there. Izaya blinked and they rolled down onto Shizuo's fingers.

It was a hard role to play.

Izaya hated this vulnerability. He was like a target open for any arrow to shoot.

"Don't hate me. Ever again." Shizuo turned his hand so that his knuckles brushed the tracks of tears away. "And don't you dare lie to me. And if you have something to tell me, tell me. Privately."

"I love you most of all, Shizuo Heiwajima."

Everyone in the viewing room held their breath. Unbeknownst to them, Shizuo's caught in his throat.

 _I want this more than anything. Someone who wants me. Who knows what I am and doesn't care. But him? I never …_

But looking at that face now, once a prideful expression with mirthful eyes and a twisted sneer, it was hard to deny he felt affection for it. Izaya's eyes were caramel brown and lost, searching Shizuo's. Shizuo moved his fingers to the dip in Izaya's top lip.

"Do you know how much I hated hearing you talk?"

Izaya was silent.

"But it was what you said. Now, I don't mind it."

 _That face is more attractive than it has any right to be. Such soft features. Do they actually reflect what's inside him now? If he gets back what I took from him, will he return to that flea I despised? The one that wouldn't leave me alone and I didn't even fucking know why? Taunting me, teasing me …_

As if reading his mind, Izaya spoke: "Are you admiring my face? It's hideous with these tears pouring down it."

 _We go all in, he says. Fuck it. There's only one way to know._

In both his apartment and the Awakusu-kai HQ, you could hear a pin drop.

His hand smoothed back Izaya's hair and he moved his face closer to the delicate nose and those ripe, curved lips. Izaya didn't move; he just looked at Shizuo, regarding him curiously, wondering what he'd do.

 _I always thought his sleeping face was cute. Relaxed, not warped by anger. But then I hardly ever had a chance to see it any other way._

 _This face is cute, too._

Izaya shut his eyes.

He felt warmth against his mouth and the tickle of breath. Soft lips pressed against his own – but before he could react, they retreated and he opened his eyes.

Shizuo had hastily turned his back to Izaya. "I'm tired. Going to sleep now. Good night!"

 _Shy. Just like I thought._

 _But sometimes surprisingly bold._

 _Was_ he _testing me?_

"I THOUGHT IZAYA WOULD INITIATE IT BUT I WAS WRONG!" Erika finally let loose the unbridled, pure excitement she'd swollen up with. "Shizuo has a hidden assertive side!"

"Of course. He's a top!" Masaomi declared.

"Huh? No way! They're versatile!"

Before the argument could commence, the audio warbled through the speakers again.

"Shizuo, did you just kiss me?"

"I'm drunk. Sorry. You're drunk too. Imagining things."

"Aww, I liked it. Don't be embarrassed."

Shizuo remained where he was, but they could see his eyes were wide open.

Izaya moved closer and placed his hand on Shizuo's back. "Zuo! Your heart's pounding!"

"Of course it is. I'm alive, aren't I?" Shizuo screwed his eyes shut.

Izaya smiled even though Shizuo couldn't see it. "You're cute when you're embarrassed like this. I can forgive you for earlier. But only if you let me cuddle up against you."

Shizuo's silence wasn't an objection, so Izaya slid an arm under Shizuo's and rested his nose against his shoulder. He curled his leg against the inside of Shizuo's.

"We're alone. You're not dead. All I'm doing is touching you. Is that okay with you?"

Shizuo nodded quickly.

Izaya's hand wandered onto Shizuo's buttons. "You can't sleep in this."

Sheer panic caused Shizuo to turn back towards Izaya. This was a mistake. Izaya snatched his face in his hands and finished where Shizuo had left off.

"I'm going to faint!" Erika proclaimed. Walker held her up as she fanned her face dramatically.

"If they only knew we were watching …" Kyohei muttered. He was struck dumb too.

Mairu held her sister's hand. "Big brother finally gets his first kiss. I'm jealous. Give me one, Kururi!"

 _He'd better watch himself!_ Celty thought about Shizuo. Then she realized, _Oh, what am I thinking? He's opened the doors for Izaya to go even further. He's the true predator, here._

 _And here I was horrified of the image of them together like this._

 _It's actually kind of sweet. Because they care about each other._

 _Because of those little smiles that play at their lips now._

Shinra recognized the release of Celty's muscles as a form of happiness. Her hands were latched together in front of her chest.

Shinra himself was less surprised than he ought to be, judging by everyone else's awed expressions.

Vorona's face was as indifferent as ever, but she found herself wondering what that experience was like. To answer her query, she spun Tom's stunned face to her and pressed her lips to his.

 _This is it? Is not special. Lips touching lips._

 _Oh. They move? That's interesting._

 _Much nicer._

 _The warmth is … spreading. And the softness, it melts me._

 _Shizuo, are you happy to do this with Izaya?_

 _I am happy to do it now, with Tom._

 _Hm? What's that down there?_

Vorona was learning a lot more about cause and effect.

"Vorona learns from Shizuo even now," Simon observed, nudging Dennis. "Our little girl, she is trained by Shizuo for all things."

"He can't train her for _all_ of them." Dennis smiled and shook his head.

During all of this, Shizuo hadn't bothered to let his embarrassment get the best of him. His body had responded to the trigger. The monster had been released.

Izaya infinitely preferred this version to the former model.

In his head, he rolled right over atop Shizuo and pulled his shirt over his head before undoing the buttons on Shizuo's. Things would escalate quickly from there.

But he exercised some restraint by breaking them apart. He caressed Shizuo's warm cheek. "So much for friendship."

"I have plenty of friends," Shizuo said a bit breathlessly. His hand gripped the back of Izaya's neck. "So do you."

"Shizuo, honestly, I had no idea you … I just teased. But I like-"

"This is one of those times where I prefer you to keep your mouth shut," Shizuo said hastily, kissing him again. "Well, not shut. Just … no words."

"The dam broke and now it's flooding," Rokujo commented, glancing at Masaomi. "So, now that we know who wins the first bet, let's start a new one."

Everyone turned their heads to face him – but only for a second.

"Top, bottom, or versatile? Who does what?"

"Ah, we won't find out tonight. They're going to wear themselves out necking and pass out." Akabayashi shook his head. "But, I can leave this set up. Izaya's gift to me, my gift to you."

"The gift that keeps on going, and going …" Rokujo added. "Geez, they're both almost 30 now. Haven't they ever even kissed anyone before? It's like when you're so hungry that you just wolf everything down; no time to savor it."

"They're also drunk," Walker said, making the symbol for 'just a little' with his thumb and index finger.

Surprisingly, the one to once again exercise restraint was Izaya.

"Shi-Shizuo," he broke them apart and looked at Shizuo's flushed face, which appeared various shades of blue in the moonlight that streamed in through the kitchen window. "Maybe we should hold back for now. Both of us had a good bit of sake … We don't want to do anything we regret. Turning back from this isn't so hard."

Shizuo slid his hand from Izaya's neck to his chest. "Your heart's pounding too. You really wanna turn back?"

"No." Izaya shook his head as much as the floor allowed. "Just to pause. I'm still trying to process everything. It's a lot to take in, you have to admit."

"I'm having trouble thinking," Shizuo said with a befuddled grin. "But shit, not thinking is nice sometimes, isn't it?"

Izaya sat up. His head spun. He had the instinct to pinch himself because everything felt like he was floating through a dream. His overactive mind conjured up some complex, vivid ones at times.

Shizuo sat up as well and reached out to pinch his leg.

"Ow!"

"You thought you were dreaming, right? I wanted to snap you out of it."

The place where Shizuo had pinched throbbed as if to say, 'You're awake, dumbass!'

"Shizuo, you won't regret all of this, will you?" Izaya asked, his hands in his lap. He was feeling a bit out of sorts; all of his earlier boldness had flown out the window. He was having a hard time thinking clearly and couldn't look Shizuo in the eye.

Shizuo grabbed his chin and forced his eyes onto him. "Hey, if you're feeling guilty, just remember I kissed you first."

This was true. And still surprising, in retrospect.

"And I don't feel guilty. I could tell you were into it. Only, I don't know if it was another one of your experiments. Have you ever kissed anyone before? A … man?"

Now Shizuo glanced away and scratched the back of his head, like the 'shy manga guy' trope.

Izaya smiled; though Shizuo's predominant expression was bashfulness, a slight hint of jealousy crept through in those amber eyes.

"I was never interested enough in anyone to conduct an experiment like that. I was content to watch others from afar and conjecture what it was like that way. There was no one I was ever drawn to … though there were those who were definitely drawn to me. I've been told I'm quite good-looking …"

Now that Shizuo was feeling awkward, Izaya was able to regain some of his confidence to compensate. "I'll hazard a guess and say you never have, either. Too scared of your own strength and hurting others, therefore thinking you were undesirable, that sort of thing."

"Yeah. Something like that." Shizuo's gaze returned to meet Izaya's. Something surprisingly sentimental suddenly slipped through his lips: "The moonlight really compliments your skin."

"With a silver tongue like that, it's a wonder you saved all of it for me," Izaya replied. His shoulders shook with laughter as Shizuo recoiled, his eyes widening.

"I-I didn't mean … Was it-? Was it bad?"

Izaya shook his head. "Surprising? Yes. Bad? Rather the opposite. If you could see the images that ran through my mind, you might run screaming from your own apartment."

"I wouldn't get very far; I told Shooter to go back to Celty." Shizuo leaned back on his hands and rolled his head onto his left shoulder. "Guess I'm stuck here with you."

"We should probably sleep on it," Izaya said with a reluctant sigh. Restraint had never been his strong point. "I can have Celty come pick me up."

Shizuo stood up and held his hand out to help Izaya up. "No need to bother her any more. She already had to come after my ass. Just tell her you'll stay here tonight."

Izaya accepted his hand. "Shizuo …" He was pulled up like Shizuo was lifting a feather. "What if I try to kill you in your sleep?"

Shizuo furrowed his brow. "Don't joke like that. I'll frisk you. I told you to ditch the knife, right?"

Izaya held out his arms. "Go right ahead. My coat's on the floor."

Shizuo's eyes flitted along Izaya's body, and Izaya saw his nostrils flare slightly. "An offer like that won't help me with control."

"Neither will sleeping next to each other. I'll stay out here."

"I need to be able to keep an eye on you."

"Sure. _That's_ what you want to keep on me," Izaya retorted with a 'tch'. He lowered his arms to the bottom of his ebony turtleneck and pulled it up over his head. "I don't have anything to sleep in." He tossed the shirt to the ground and hooked his hands into the waistband of his pants.

Shizuo's breathing was shallow and rapid. "It _is_ hot out still." He unbuttoned his shirt with clumsy fingers, looking down at the buttons while Izaya watched him.

"You'll look really good with brown hair, I think," Izaya said randomly, thinking about the hue of Shizuo's skin and what the color of his body hair was. "I've never seen you with it, you know."

"What, you want me to grow it out or dye it?" Shizuo asked, rolling his shirt down his arms. "It'll look weird if I have brown roots and blond tips."

"Nah. Everyone will think, 'Look at this guy with two-toned hair; he doesn't give a damn about his roots!' And they'll know to stay away from such an irrational man."

"Don't be silly," Shizuo said with a shake of his head, but he was smiling. "You gonna dye yours blond, then?"

"No way. I'll look like an albino."

"Ha! No. It wouldn't suit you."

Izaya wrapped his arms around his torso. "Darkness hugs me like a shadow and the sun kisses your skin." His pants had been kicked aside to lie in a pile with his shirt.

 _I'd rather you do that_ , Shizuo thought, but his inhibition made him keep this to himself. Izaya would've smiled, no doubt, but Shizuo didn't want to let on just how attracted he was to Izaya. He was still somewhat startled by this himself.

 _Maybe it will go away when I sleep. I'll wake up sober and that'll fix it._

 _I'm not really sure it's a problem … maybe a complication._

 _But he doesn't seem to mind. So why should I?_

 _Because I'm afraid of what happens after. It could ruin things. He was right to slow down._

 _If he really wanted to embarrass me, he would've encouraged my passion. Could it be that_ he _was embarrassed?_

 _Him? Disgusted? No. He enjoyed that as much as I did._

 _So … he stopped because he cares. Because you take things slow with people you're interested in. Especially in this case, where it's a first for both of us. At least, I assume it is for him. I know that girls admire him … but strange enough, I believe him when he says he was never interested in anyone._

 _Why me? Why am I special?_

 _Am I the ultimate conquest? Does he want to conquer me entirely? Weaken me enough to get me to that point, then …?_

 _No. He stopped it. Why delay it, then?_

 _Shit. I have to stop thinking. I have to stop questioning everything he says and does. I'll become him, overthinking everything._

 _I just gotta go with my gut. And my gut says, fuck it, he's genuine for once._

"What are you thinking about, Zuo?"

This new nickname inspired an entirely different reaction than 'Shizu' had. For one, it wasn't said mockingly, with the intent to annoy him. This was more endearing, fond. Consequently, Shizuo's guard was lowered by its use.

"We should go to bed." He pointed to the kitchen. "You need water?"

Shizuo had been too shy to take his pants off. Izaya had a strange thought that he looked like a grown Huck Finn with those rolled up jeans on and no shirt.

Izaya shook his head. "I'll follow you in."

Shizuo led the way and opened the door to his bedroom, which had a modest amount of space with a full-sized bed in it.

They both had the same thought about the lack of space and what potential situations could be encouraged by this compromising position.

"I'll sleep on the floor," Shizuo offered.

Izaya thought about how hot it would be to be pressed against Shizuo in that tiny bed on a summer night. It would be a sticky situation in all manners of the word.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm putting you out so I will."

"You're the one who's still healing."

"It's your apartment."

"I sleep in the bed every night."

"Well, so do I, ordinarily."

Their argument reminded both of them of Taiyo, the golden Shiba Inu.

"Does Taiyo still sit on your headboard?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya nodded, grinning. "Sometimes I even sleep with him."

"I never pictured you as a cuddler," Shizuo remarked.

"I never knew you pictured how I slept," Izaya retorted with a lift of his eyebrows.

Izaya could see Shizuo's face darken even in the dim light of the room. Shizuo yanked a pillow from the bed and threw it onto the floor beside the bed. He flopped onto it with his arms behind his head.

"Go to sleep."

Izaya crawled into the bed. It smelled just like his bed had that one night at Celty's. He'd had her wash it the next day and had been relieved by the absence of that bitter, ashy smell.

A realization came to him like the figurative light bulb turning on. "You slept in my bed."

"Huh?"

"At Celty's. I came home from Russia Sushi and my bed smelled like ash and my coat had been moved. Why were you in there?"

"Oh. Sorry. I drank too many White Russians and passed out. Kasuka tucked me in. I don't remember about the coat."

"You probably drooled all over my pillow," Izaya said with something between a laugh and a sigh.

"Why'd you ask?"

"Oh, just smelling the pillow. It smelled just like my bed that night. But there's a bit of cologne and shampoo mixed in here. That cuts the acidity of the ash." Izaya curled onto his side, looking over the edge of the bed at Shizuo. "You really should wash your sheets more. Do you jerk off in here?"

Shizuo's head snapped towards Izaya, who was leaning over the edge of the bed with a leer. "No!"

"I think I'll bottle this smell and call it 'Essence of Shizuo'."

"Shut up!" Shizuo said, turning onto his side. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep now."

Izaya kept right on talking. He was one of those people that laid in bed staring at the ceiling thinking for thirty minutes to an hour before he actually slept, while Shizuo shut his eyes and usually drifted away easily.

Eventually, Shizuo's eyes opened. "Why do you keep talking to me? I'm not even responding."

"Because I like you. Plus, you just responded, didn't you?"

Shizuo shut his eyes. "Keep at it and I'll come up there and shut your mouth for you."

"You certainly know how to tempt and tease, Zuo."

Shizuo tried to imagine multiple nights like this, where he tried to fall asleep and Izaya chattered on and on. Or maybe he'd read a book with the lamp on and Shizuo could wear an eyepad. Or maybe they'd watch TV then both fall asleep. Or maybe Shizuo would just have to wear Izaya out before bed …

Shizuo had a sudden surge of energy at this thought and he was suddenly alert. "Iza, I-" He turned to look at Izaya and saw that his eyes were shut and he'd curled up in the bed, his back to Shizuo.

Shizuo was infuriated. _He kept me awake and now that I'm up, he falls asleep? That asshole!_

But it was hard to stay mad at the small, slim body that curled up in Shizuo's blanket.

Still, he couldn't fall asleep. The floor hurt his back, and he kept tossing and turning.

A sleepy voice eventually said, "Zuo, jus' sleep up here. Too tired to do things. Comfortable."

Shizuo accepted the invitation and crawled into bed with Izaya. Izaya flipped around and flung an arm and a leg over Shizuo, who stared at these foreign limbs with bewilderment. He didn't know what to do with them.

Izaya made a sound that was almost like a purr and he stretched his arm and leg before tightening them against Shizuo. He finally relaxed with a contented sigh and fell back into his deep sleep.

Shizuo could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He was a little ashamed that such an innocent, sleeping person could bring such excitement to him. He quickly rethought that.

 _Since when is Izaya innocent? He knows what he's doing._

Regardless, Shizuo placed his hand on Izaya's arm and shut his eyes.

He simply didn't care anymore.

Innocent or guilty, this was nice.

[He forgot to text me.] Celty looked down at her phone then back to the screens that were now still. Shizuo was snoring with one arm and one leg hanging over the bed and the others trapped by Izaya, who curled against him like a cat with its claws in something.

[I don't know if I should leave him there. What if he thinks I forgot about him? Or he knows that I somehow knew he stayed at Shizuo's? I don't know how he'd take it if he knew we all saw that, but Shizuo would definitely be mad!]

"Try not to worry about it, Celty," Shinra assured her with a gentle hand upon her shoulder. "Izaya is a grown man. He's right where he wants to be, and it isn't your responsibility to take care of him."

[I know. I've just gotten used to it.] Celty's shoulders slumped. She'd fallen into the role of Big Sister more deeply than she thought she would've. She felt an emptiness inside her, like Izaya and Shizuo would leave her for each other like couples sometimes did.

 _Wait – I just thought of them as a couple. Is that really what they are? Maybe they'll wake up, horrified at what they find! Or they'll regret it and drift apart._

 _They seemed pretty into it, though. Based on what I know about human behavior, all the signs were pointing to go before Izaya put a stop to it._

 _I really thought Erika, Akane, Mika, Mairu and Kururi were about to pass out. And Namie was so unreadable – it was almost like she'd transported herself somewhere else. The guys weren't disgusted – they were too stunned to even look away. And Shinra had a creepy smile on his face the whole time. Does he like that kind of stuff? I never knew._

When it seemed like the action had ceased – unless Shizuo's snoring counted as action – everyone turned their still-dumbfounded expressions to one another.

"Did I dream that?" Mikado asked, splitting the silent air. "Because what a weird dream that would be for me to have."

Anri shook her head. "We all saw the same thing."

"Witnessed right here together, live at the Awakusu-kai HQ: Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara drunkenly making out so passionately that they fell asleep!" Masaomi said in a faux announcer's voice. "Not everyone's a winner tonight, but I sure as hell am!"

"Hey, they could still kill each other," Rokujo argued. "Would that void the win for you, then?"

"I still can't believe it …" Tom said, slack-jawed. "I've known Shizuo since middle school. When he _had_ brown hair. And now Izaya Orihara, of all people, is convincing him to stop dying it blond?"

"Forget that – what about the whole kissing thing?" Masaomi asked. "That's gotta be some surreal shit for you!"

"I am just happy they did not procreate," Vorona said. "Wait – I use the wrong word. Fornicate. I did not need to see such awkward fumbling with naked limbs."

Tom touched his lips, recalling Vorona's experimental kiss. It would have been unforgettable at any other time, but it was hard not to be distracted by what they'd been watching at the time.

What was an unbelievably intimate experience for Shizuo and Izaya had become a shared one for the rest of them.

"As much as I'd love to see how they react in the morning, I think I need to hit the hay myself." Akabayashi yawned and stretched. "I'll leave this set-up at Shizuo's place, but I gotta take my device home or I'll get in big trouble with the boss."

The surreal quality of the night followed everyone home, right through their slumber, and into the morning.

When Izaya woke up, he remembered everything. Therefore, he wasn't surprised to see Shizuo's sleeping face next to his. It was still cute.

Izaya was easily bored and had never liked waking up before everyone else at childhood sleepovers. He stretched and kissed the tip of Shizuo's nose.

Shizuo scrunched it and crinkled his brow. Slowly, his eyes opened and he looked around groggily.

Izaya felt the briefest moment of panic – would he freak out and do something aggressive? – but Shizuo managed a sleepy smile and squeezed Izaya's side.

"You sleep okay?"

Izaya exhaled and relaxed. "You remember everything?"

"Yep."

"And you're okay with it?"

Shizuo pressed his nose into Izaya's hair. "Yep." He inhaled slowly as if trying to make sure he was really awake.

Izaya lifted his head up to level it with Shizuo's, but he placed a finger on Shizuo's mouth before Shizuo could make any moves. Izaya could see he'd been contemplating it.

"Don't start anything you're not willing to finish. At any rate, I'm hungry."

Shizuo slid out from under him and stood up, stretching. Izaya took the opportunity to admire his musculature in the afternoon sun. The sun really did kiss him.

"I'll make breakfast."

"I can help –"

"Stay here. Relax." Shizuo turned and gave him a smile that was almost as charming as the one he'd given Akane when he'd lied to her about Izaya being his friend. But of course Izaya didn't know this. It was for him, however, the most charming smile of Shizuo's he'd yet seen.

His own dreamy smile slid onto his face without his willing it. He slid back into the covers as Shizuo walked out and started clanking around in the kitchen. He held the cotton to his nose and inhaled a whiff of cologne – with an unpleasant afterthought of ash.

 _He's washing these before I sleep in them again._

 _Wait. Why did I think that? Am I already foreseeing myself sleeping here again? With him?_

Izaya's mind started to go a mile a minute and it was beginning to overwhelm him. He was experiencing at nearly 30 what most people experienced in high school: a first crush.

 _Does he like me? Of course he does. Why would I even wonder that? Would I be here if he didn't?_

 _But what if he stops? I don't want this to go away now that I have it._

 _What will happen next? Will it progress to THAT one day? What could the outcome possibly be? Will it end?_

 _Should we tell anyone? They'll all find out eventually. I have to tell Celty, and probably Shinra. If I spend more time with him, they'll ask questions._

 _Do I WANT to spend more time with him?_

 _Ugh, I do. I really do. I feel this strange panicky, gut-sick sensation when I think about going back to my life before this. I can't imagine not talking to him now. And after this, I can't imagine not doing that again._

 _I've opened Pandora's box and brought all of this onto myself. Well, really, Celty and Co. handed me the box, wrapped in a shiny ribbon._

 _But I took the bait. And now …?_

 _Now I'm in Shizuo's bed, smelling his covers and listening to him make me breakfast._

 _And I already don't want the day to end. But he has work, I assume. What will I do? I suppose Celty can pick me up._

 _Ugh, I'll be so_ bored _while he's working. Maybe I'll think of things he'd like to do._

 _Geez. If anyone could hear what I was thinking, they'd think I'd lost it. Mooning over_ him _of all people like this._

 _I think I'm more surprised by it than anyone else could possibly be._

By the time Shizuo had returned with a tray of food and orange juice, Izaya had decided he would absolutely not give any indication that he'd fallen as hard as he had. He felt silly enough in his own eyes; he couldn't show Shizuo this weakness.

Shizuo, holding the tray and offering it to a smiling Izaya, whose ebony hair glittered and ivory skin glimmered in the light, was having similar thoughts.

 _Huh. I've never made anyone breakfast before except my family. I'm feeling kinda funny. I must be hungover._

 _But when I was in the kitchen I felt fine. A little excited, actually. Was I smiling for no reason like a dope?_

 _Well, not for_ no _reason. I was remembering last night. Shit. I liked it. But he did too, so it's okay._

While Izaya accepted the food and started to eat it, Shizuo turned on his heel and grabbed his hair and messed it, completely at a loss.

 _Gah! I'm acting so stupid! I fell for it, hook line and sinker. I keep expecting him to reveal the punchline of the joke, but he keeps dragging it on._

 _I'd be happiest if he never revealed it. I just want to know it's not a gag. That I'm not being put on. He says it's not, and I want to believe him, but it's hard._

 _Being happy like this, you always expect the rug to be pulled out from under your feet._

 _But I wouldn't mind doing more of what we were doing before. The chatting, hanging out, the other stuff too …_

 _Does that mean I like dudes? Or just him?_

 _No, I definitely liked women before. But I could look at a guy and admit he was good-looking._

 _Hell, I always thought he was and I hated it. He didn't deserve such an angelic face for such devilish expressions._

 _I wanted so long for someone to want to get to know me, to accept me, someone who could stand toe to toe with me. Someone who's my equal. Sorry, Vorona, you could have handled me – but I was always going to be more damaged than you. You need a guy who'll treat you tenderly, who won't blow up like me. Tom's good for you. He's a regular guy. A nice guy._

 _I'm a monster._

 _But even he says I'm human now. He sees me as one of his beloved humans. He loves me – at least in his weird way. That doesn't mean he's_ in _love with me. I don't know if he'd know if he was, and I don't know if I would either._

 _In a strange way, I feel more comfortable with him because of our past. He's seen me at my worst, and I've seen him at his. There's no further to fall, like he said. So the only way to go is up, and that's what we've been doing._

 _I'll get so high at this rate I'll be floating._

"Zuo, did you fall asleep in there?" Izaya called in a sing-song, teasing sort of tone. "This is delicious and all, but you're an even tastier dish!"

Shizuo could imagine the glint in Izaya's eyes and the crooked smile on his face. He shook his head, not sure what to say to that.

"You can come out when you're done," was what he settled on. Very exciting.

Eventually, Izaya wandered out, his hair sticking up at all ends. Shizuo took one look at him and felt the same sensation one would feel watching a baby doing something cute for the first time.

He wasn't very good at repressing his urges, so he went and smoothed Izaya's hair. Then he did something else that instantly came to mind: he kissed the top of his head.

 _Well, that was lame. I'm acting like I'm his mother or something._

Izaya didn't know what to make of this gesture, but he felt a little flutter in his stomach. It was the feeling of being loved, but he didn't know this.

Izaya was out of his wheelhouse now. He was treading water, trying to stay afloat. He couldn't decipher his own emotions – the familiar ones or the new ones. Nor was he used to such gestures from Shizuo.

When Shizuo was content, he could be quite gentle.

Caring?

Attentive?

Izaya's face was hot, but Shizuo was too embarrassed to notice this – he'd already turned away and gone back to cooking his eggs.

What Izaya and Shizuo didn't understand was that their boldness from last night had been enabled by alcohol. Their inhibitions had returned, making them doubt every action and thought. They were simply overwhelmed with the newness of everything, and the intensity of it.

Simply put, they were excited and happy and terribly frightened of losing this adrenaline high they were on.

But Shizuo thought he was hungover, and Izaya thought he was simply confused.

They were now in the realm where they would overthink their own actions and every gesture the other made – every word, every look, every action would be deciphered.

It was that dreadful feeling in the pit of one's stomach where they fear the person they're so enamored with isn't as enamored with them. It was the easy smile that grew and the warm flush of the face that swelled with every affectionate word or sign the other offered. It was the feeling of panicked butterflies colliding in the stomach at the thought of being unable to see them or speak with them. It was the blush of love.

But how was someone who'd never been in love supposed to know what they were experiencing?

When you fall in love for the first time, you experience a million new, unfamiliar sensations in a short period of time. You're overwhelmed, overstimulated. It takes a toll on the mind and body. Your identity is compromised. It begins to merge with your loved one, becoming a two-headed monster that's as unstoppable as Godzilla, wrecking everything in its path.

When you don't know this is what's happening, you panic. You question every thought and feeling. You start to think you're going crazy. Who am I? What do I want? Why am I feeling this way? Do they want me back? Why do I want them so badly? If they don't want me, I don't know what I'll do with myself!

Fortunately, sometimes this feeling is mutual and the two are able to communicate these feelings to one another.

"I think I have a hangover."

"Yeah, my brain feels a little fuzzy."

These were the simplest ways for them to describe all of the complicated sensations going on within them. But at least they were experiencing them together.

Shizuo finished cooking and they went into the living room to watch TV. It felt remarkably ordinary and therefore comforting to the two, who were in need of a respite from their complex, intense feelings and thoughts.

"Do you have work today, Shizuo?"

Shizuo nodded, swallowing a mouthful of fried egg. "I have to be there in two hours. I bet Tom and Vorona will have plenty of questions for me."

"Same for me with Celty and Shinra." Izaya leaned back on his hands, stretching out his legs. "What should we say, do you think?"

"That we were drunk and fell asleep and don't remember what happened. It'll keep them from asking more questions."

"You think they'll believe that?" Izaya asked.

"I won't give them a choice. What goes on between you and me is our business. They don't need to know we –" He paused. Saying it made it that much more real and infinitely more bewildering.

"Oh, I'm not ashamed, if that's what you're worried about." Izaya shrugged. "I never labeled myself, and they're fairly accepting. They might not even believe me if I told them."

 _I'm having a hard time believing it myself._

"I'm not ashamed. It's just … It's private."

"I'll stick with your story, then," Izaya assured him. It would be hard to lie to Celty, though.

 _She's sharp. Plus, she's been around me for months now. She knows my patterns. What it means when I make certain expressions: lifts of the eyebrow, flares of the nostrils, the speed and depth of my breathing. It's dangerous when a creature with human connections and understanding has supernatural senses._

Also, he confided to her lately, in his way. He'd noticed Shinra growing jealous of this bond, but it was harmless. He'd dismissed the idea of Celty as a Valkyrie who'd select him as a warrior. He'd grown out of these grandiose delusions. Shizuo had yanked him right back down to the ground that night.

 _And here I am discussing with him whether or not we should tell our friends we kissed._

 _The irony of it all is amusing._

He snickered.

"What?"

"Nothing important. We don't have to watch this show."

"You like it."

" _Celty_ likes it. What do you like besides wrestling?"

"Movies, usually. And cooking shows."

"Well, you can put one of those on. I'm up for anything, really."

Shizuo turned the TV off. "I don't want you to think I regret anything or that I'm ashamed. I don't want you to leave here thinking I don't want to talk to you or see you again."

Izaya was impressed by Shizuo's candor. "That's sweet, Zuo. Of course I'd never think that of you, though." Deep down, however, he was relieved to hear it. "When you come home, we can chat."

"Call me," Shizuo said earnestly. "I'm sure you know my number."

Izaya was surprised: he'd tried to keep a barrier up for Shizuo by sticking to the chat, which he knew Shizuo was comfortable with. Now he was stripping that away?

"Sure. If you really want me to. When do you get off?"

"8." Shizuo looked at the rug like he was intently studying its pattern. "What happened, I don't want it to change anything. Let's keep seeing each other and talking like we were. Maybe more often. I like to have my space, but I …" He couldn't get the last words out.

 _I'll start to miss you._

Izaya was attentive enough to fill in the blanks. He latched onto this emotional vulnerability Shizuo had exposed by letting his head fall onto Shizuo's lap.

He looked up at Shizuo's surprised face and grinned. "You'll get tired of me eventually."

 _But I don't want you to._

Shizuo smiled at him with gentle eyes. He reached a hand over and swept away Izaya's bangs. "You need a haircut."

"I'll get one when you dye your hair brown."

"Are you serious about that?"

Izaya reached up and snagged a lock of Shizuo's hair. "You'll look much more mature."

Shizuo frowned. "Are you saying I look young?"

"You have a thug's hair color, and you're not a thug. You've built up enough of a reputation to ditch the middle-school hair dye. People know your face now." Izaya caressed this grouchy face, which quickly softened. "Some of them even like it."

Shizuo was getting lulled into a sort of haze. He forced himself out of it and gently moved Izaya's head from his lap before he stood up. "I gotta get ready."

Izaya pulled his phone out of his pants, which were still in a pile on the living room floor. The battery was nearly dead. He texted Celty.

[Can you come pick me up, Big Sis? Pretty please?]

Celty replied while Shizuo went to take a shower.

{Are you at Shizuo's? What happened?}

[Yep. I'll tell you later. Obviously, everything is fine. I'm not dead, and he's having a shower before work.]

{I'll be there in about 15.}

[Thanks a bunch. See you then!]

Izaya had an idea zip through his mind that he needed a shower too, but he decided it was best to wait until he was at Celty and Shinra's. Shizuo might have a heart attack if he wandered in there naked and asked to join him.

Still, it was an appealing thought. And amusing.

Izaya clicked on the TV and watched cooking shows instead. Celty's arrival coincided with Shizuo's exit from the shower, so she got to see him crossing the hallway wrapped in a towel. This fueled her already inquisitive mind.

[Hey, Izaya, you didn't …]

Izaya laughed. "Do you really think Shizuo would go for that?"

Celty had seen what she'd seen. But she had no idea what had happened after she'd gone home. Her mind had gone a mile a minute. Erika's fantasies and what she'd witnessed had infected her – she'd had a dream about what might have happened.

When she'd woken up, she wasn't sure if she'd enjoyed that dream or not.

[Did you make up, at least?]

"You could say that."

The little weasel was egging her on! He knew what she was thinking. If only he knew what she knew!

[Let's just say good-bye to Shizuo, then we'll head back.]

"He's getting dressed," Izaya said. "Shizuo, Celty's here! She wants to say hello and good-bye before you leave!"

Shizuo cracked open the door to his bedroom. "Hey, Celty. Thanks for picking him up. See you later." Then he shut it.

It cracked open once more. "Bye, Izaya. Remember to call." Then he shut it a final time.

Celty was amused by his brevity. He didn't want to tip her off because he knew she'd pick up on it.

 _Wow. There's really something there between them._

 _It could be cute, or turn out horribly. Who knows with them?_

They went home, and that night after dinner Izaya excused himself and hurried into his room. He was gabbing away on his phone for hours. Celty took the opportunity to use her laptop.

Poor Shinra had been looked over for a laptop. As much as he loved his friend, he wanted Izaya to move out eventually so Celty could have regular usage of her laptop and he could resume his regular time spent with Celty.

He knew who Izaya was on the phone with, but he wondered what they could possibly be talking about. Shizuo hated talking. He got mad at Shinra for saying too much even when he wasn't saying anything mean. How could he listen to Izaya shoot off for so long?

There were a few silences where he imagined Shizuo would be talking, then a little snicker or giggle from Izaya. It was amusing to him that a man who was nearly 30 was acting like a girl half his age.

Then there was his lover, who was hundreds of years old, typing away with college kids on an internet chat room.

It was a strange feeling being the most mature person in the room for once.

"Shinra keeps asking when I'll move out," Izaya said on the phone to Shizuo. "He's not being subtle at all."

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Pretty much. A twinge now and again. Nothing a quick visit couldn't fix. I guess I'd like to move out eventually, so I should look for a place. But I've used a lot of my funds, so I need to look for a job first."

"You're not going back to what you did before, right?"

Izaya flipped over on the bed, swinging his legs in the air. "Oh, no. I've had enough of that. But I still want to keep my skills sharp."

"My boss always needs people with a sharp tongue and a good mind for planning."

"What – you mean you'd talk to him for me?"

"It's a legit job. 11-8 with an hour lunch break. He wants someone for research. To find people in hiding, that kind of thing."

Izaya was excited by several aspects of this offer. "Would I get to work with you?"

"I don't want you in that kind of position. It's too dangerous. But we'd be based in the same office."

"Would I be able to have lunch with you?"

"Sure. Sometimes I have it with Tom and Vorona –"

"Oh, she works with you again?" This bothered Izaya, but he wasn't sure why.

"Yeah. But I think something happened with her and Tom. I seem to be the third wheel a lot lately."

"You're always my number one!" Izaya assured Shizuo in a cheery tone. He'd managed to play off a lot of these genuine sentiments by professing them in a joking manner.

"I know. Thanks. So, you want me to put in a good word for you?"

"If you think it'll work out. I'll love you forever for it!"

"Yeah yeah. I'll see what I can do. No promises."

"No worries! Did you see the episode today about American cuisine? Wow, it's soooo fatty, isn't it? There was a burger on donuts instead of a bun!"

Izaya had gotten into the habit of watching cooking shows with Shizuo. Then watching them with Celty and Shinra when Shizuo was working. Or just Celty when Shinra had a patient. Celty was also enthusiastic about them, as she enjoyed cooking for Shinra.

Honestly, Izaya flitted about between Shizuo's and Celty's so often that Shinra was almost back to having his regular amount of time with her. But Izaya had already decided to move out, as he missed having a space of his own.

Celty clung to him both literally and figuratively when he told her the news two weeks later.

[What? You got a job with Shizuo's boss? And you want to move out?]

"That's great, Izaya!" Shinra said, giving him an encouraging embrace. "So you're seeing him _and_ you're working with him?"

"I really don't know what you mean by 'seeing' him," Izaya said with a lift of his eyebrows, "but yes, I spend time with him and I'll work in the same building as him."

[How will you get there? Do you need me to take you?]

Izaya frowned a little. "I hadn't considered that. I was so excited at the prospect of the job that I somehow overlooked the means to get to it. Well, for now, if you don't mind. I can try to stay at Shizuo's, since it's within walking distance, but his place is so small."

[You sure he's okay with that? You're there enough as it is. And you still won't tell me if there's anything more to it!]

"I don't need to tell you what you can figure out on your own," Izaya said, as he always did. He shoved his hands into his pockets with a smug smile. He enjoyed letting them hang.

They, of course, were completely up to date on what the state of Izaya and Shizuo's relationship was. Two months after the first night Izaya had spent at Shizuo's, it was safe to say they had firmly surpassed the conservative label of 'friends.'

Celty and the others had monitored this a good deal, for the sake of satisfying their curiosity and trying to see who would win the new bet. There hadn't been enough activity to decide that, but there'd been enough to make Rokujo comment: "Are we talking foreplay or the real deal? Because I've seen quite a bit of versatility in the foreplay."

In short, all of the bases had been reached, but they were still waiting for a home run. And they had no idea who the pitcher and catcher were.

Erika would have lived in that little surveillance room if she could have.

Vorona asked a lot of questions, like, "Why do that there? Does that feel good for a man? Does that have any effect with the underwear still on? Does pineapple really affect the taste?"

They were, needless to say, quite awkward to answer. But Rokujo and Masaomi were all too happy to give it a go.

Akabayashi had banned Akane from participating, as it felt unethical to him – plus he didn't feel like getting killed by her father.

At any rate, Celty was going to miss watching _Unexplained Mysteries of the World_ with Izaya. And she'd even started teaching him how to cook, and how to ride Shooter. And the three of them read the same books as a sort of mini book club.

Celty threw her arms around Izaya. He interpreted her little shakes as silent sobs and knew she was going to miss him.

His hands went to her back. He was going to miss her too.

"Aw, Celty, we can still see Izaya," Shinra assured her, hugging her from behind while she embraced Izaya. They made an odd little hugging sandwich. "It might even be better to see him less so you really treasure the times you do see him."

Celty and Shinra were Izaya's best friends at this point. He also spent some time with Kyohei, who'd agreed to teach him how to paint and work on calligraphy. He'd gone on a fishing trip with Simon once, and went to lunch with his sisters, who'd taken to calling him, 'Nicezaya.'

His efforts had paid off, and nearly six months after his return, he showed no signs of slipping back into his callous, cruel former self. He'd bonded with the humans he loved so much, after all.

Izaya was finally starting to understand the meaning of the word he'd once used so loosely.

It was indeed those small moments. Going to concerts with his sisters; discussing the world's mysteries with Celty; sharing laughter over hot pot with Shinra; listening to Kyohei's patient advice on his calligraphy progress; and having deep discussions with Simon in his native tongue, which suited him far better.

Love was sharing life with friends, connecting with them, helping them, feeling happiness or sadness with them, caring what happened in their lives. Making things happen for them that made them happy.

With Shizuo … It was almost like being with him validated Izaya's own existence. Like Shizuo made him a person. Seeing a friend smile or laugh made Izaya smile or laugh himself, but seeing Shizuo do it – knowing he could make him do it – made Izaya feel deeply and completely satisfied.

All of the effort that went into trying to annoy and anger Shizuo was now expended on trying to make him happy and to give him the peace he craved.

Izaya had discovered selflessness.

And honestly, it made him happier than being selfish ever had.

By the time Celty and Shinra had let go of him, Izaya had a serene thought come to mind that he voiced: "I love both of you very much. More than almost anyone else."

Celty's hands balled up and went up to her chest. It was her equivalent of 'Awww!' She, of course, knew who the 'anyone' was.

Shinra smiled and wiped his eye. "Izaya, I had hoped to be able to help you when you called me six months ago, but I had no idea you'd heal this much. That you'd get back to the person you were and surpass it."

"You know why it is. Because of your tough love and tenacity."

[No. It's because you listened. You learned. We're so proud of you.]

"Thank you for saving me then," Izaya said to her quietly. "And thank you for saving me now."

Celty was unable to restrain herself: she threw herself onto him again, and Shinra flung himself onto Izaya's other side. Now Izaya was the middle of the sandwich.

The doorbell rang and ruined the moment.

"I'll get it," Shinra said. He broke away and went to the door. He made an excited little sound as he opened it. "Hey! What're you doing here, Shizuo?" He hadn't seen him in a while. "You look different … wait – your hair's brown! You dyed it?"

Celty looked up from Izaya, who felt the same little stutter in his heartbeat he'd gotten accustomed to when he came into contact with that man.

"Yo, Shinra." He stepped into the apartment with his hands jammed into the pants of his work attire. "Hey, Celty."

His tone changed entirely when he said, simply, "Iza …"

Some of the shyness had left him, but Shizuo remained electrified by Izaya's presence. In fact, Celty and Shinra could feel it in the air, sort of like lightning had just struck and left little shocks of static.

It wasn't really as surprising as it had once been to Celty and Shinra; they were more touched than anything. They hadn't seen Shizuo or Izaya this happy since they'd known them.

"What're you doing here, Zuo?" Izaya was conservative around company, but he would've greeted Shizuo with something akin to the Abort Button Maneuver had they been alone. "Not that I'm not happy to see you."

"I was thinking," Shizuo said, clearly still considering how he was going to phrase this, "that there's no telling how long it'll take to find a place, and it'll be hard for you to get to work from here."

"Celty said she could take me –"

"That's why I wanted to be able to talk to her. And Shinra too. You guys did a lot for Izaya. You really helped him out. So, in my way, I'll help you out. Celty, there's no need to take Izaya to work. And he'll be out of your hair before you know it."

Izaya caught onto what he was about to say before he said it.

"You're going to ask me to stay with you?"

"Tcch. You knew I would. But I knew you'd know that, too." Shizuo smiled with an expression of warmth that threw Celty and Shinra for a loop. "So?"

"Why'd you come here to ask me that?" Izaya asked.

"Because I knew what your answer would be. I'll help you get your things."

Shizuo strolled into the guest room while Izaya's eyes followed him, a bemused smile growing on his face. Eventually, he shook his head with a little laugh and went after Shizuo.

[THEY'RE MOVING IN TOGETHER!] Celty shoved her PDA in Shinra's face abruptly. [Hey – did they shut the door?]

Shinra looked over. "It seems that way." He looked back at her with slightly wider eyes. "I don't hear them talking."

Celty wandered over to the door and pressed herself to the wall at the edge. She was able to amplify her hearing easily with her smoke.

She didn't hear talking.

She did hear something, though.

Fabric rustling?

A sort of muffled groan?

"Not … here …"

"Don't … want to … wait …"

"Do that … at your place …"

Then she heard more ruffles and a squeak of bedsprings. She ran back over to Shinra, terrified of being caught. But they remained in the room until they finished packing. When they walked out, Celty and Shinra were casually sitting on the couch in front of a powered off TV.

"What show is that?" Izaya quipped. "Reflections?"

Shizuo snorted.

Celty and Shinra got up and saw everything packed up into bags, and a stuffed dog under Izaya's arm.

"Do you need the medical supplies?" Shinra asked Izaya.

Izaya shook his head. "You'd make better use of them than I would at this point."

Celty and Shinra were still having trouble getting used to Shizuo with brown hair. He looked older, somehow. More mature, maybe. Definitely calmer.

Shizuo didn't care much about his own appearance, but he cared what Izaya thought about it – which was why he had no issues doing what Izaya suggested.

Not only that, he hadn't smoked in four months. But he would never lose the shades.

"Thanks for putting him up, and for putting up with him," Shizuo said to Shinra and Celty. "I want to get home – I have a cab waiting. But you should come over when we're settled in."

Izaya gave him a funny look. "We?"

"It was starting to get a little crammed in there with you over so much," Shizuo said with a shrug, "so I found a bigger place. It's still close –"

"That's it!" Shinra exclaimed, pointing. Shizuo didn't much appreciate being interrupted OR pointed at. He tensed. "You're definitely a couple!"

Shizuo's face shifted to red like a piece of litmus paper. "WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS?!"

"I suspected you were dating casually, but this – this is relationship level. Moving in together? Finding a new place just for Izaya and you? Am I going to be going to a wedding soon?"

Celty covered her face. _I can't look! Shizuo looks like a lobster just out of the pot!_

Shizuo lifted an arm to hurl a bag at Shinra. "I DON'T NEED TO GET MARRIED TO PROVE HOW I FEEL! WANT TO SEE THE DEPTHS OF MY FEELINGS, HUH SHINRA?!"

Izaya pressed the abort button. Shizuo nearly deflated like a balloon. All of his tensed muscles went lax. "Zuo, Shinra's just being supportive."

"He's being nosy …" Shizuo muttered, placing his hands on Izaya's hips. "Sorry. It's my fault for blurting that out in front of you." He moved Izaya aside with the tenderness someone might've used to handle a treasured glass ornament.

"This is all really exciting!" Izaya had been unable to hide the depth of his feelings from Shizuo, who'd learned to read him too well. Shizuo had also developed an Abort Button, of sorts, for when Izaya was withholding his true feelings. But this was better saved for private moments. "If you were going to do something like that, I sort of wish we could have looked together, but I guess you know me well enough to know what I'd like so it's okay …"

Shizuo snagged him by the arm. "You can talk to me about it tonight. Remember?"

"Oh, yes, that. Well, we'd better hurry home then." How quickly and easily Izaya had adapted to referring to Shizuo's as 'home.' "Celty, Shinra, thanks for everything. We'll be in touch."

They popped out through the door and out of Celty's apartment forever. She ran to it and watched them walk to the elevator. Izaya was talking a mile a minute while Shizuo listened with a tolerant smile.

When he tired of this, he silenced him with a kiss. Then they stepped into the elevator and were out of Celty's view.

She shut the door and ran into Izaya's room. It was so empty now without him and his belongings there. Only one thing remained: folded up neatly on the bed (which wasn't as neat) was his bloodstained, fur-lined coat.

Celty looked at it and wanted to cry, but she had no real tears.

Instead, she sat on the bed and took the coat into her lap.

 _I feel like a mother whose child just moved out with their partner._

 _Almost like I've been abandoned._

 _I know it isn't like that. But it's like a little part of me left with him._

 _It's different than when Shinra and I have to part for any reason. Not as bad as the time I tried to leave Ikebukuro, of course … but this hollow feeling's like a little nugget of that feeling._

 _He left a part of himself behind. A farewell to the Izaya Orihara that I first met. And now I'm saying good-bye to the Izaya Orihara I grew to love._

 _Little Brother Izaya Orihara._

Shinra stood in the doorway. "He's really gone. It's hard to believe."

Celty looked up at him and nodded.

Shinra noticed the coat in her lap. "Oh, wow. He left that? I almost never saw him without it. It's almost like he died."

Celty found it in her to type. [He did die. Shizuo killed him. Then he brought him back to life.]

"You helped," Shinra assured her. He sat next to her on the bed. "And in their own way, each and every one of our friends contributed as well. This was the outcome we were hoping for. We knew he'd leave here eventually, and we wanted him to leave here a better person. Healed. He is."

[Off to live and work with Shizuo. You think they'll get sick of each other?]

"If they do, I'm sure we'll hear about it." He grabbed her hand. "Let's hope we don't."

After about 10 minutes, her phone went off in the other hand. It was Akabayashi.

[Hey, I think we might be about to find out who wins this bet. Hurry over if you're interested.]

Shinra peered over her shoulder at it. "Of course. They're feeling emotional because of the big step they're taking. So-"

Celty stood up and hurried out to put on her boots. Shinra was compelled to follow her.

It had been incredibly difficult for Izaya and Shizuo to restrain their enthusiasm on the taxi ride over, which led to a great deal of tension building within them. If Izaya's stuffed dog had actually been alive, he would've squeezed the life out of it.

 _How remarkable! Shizuo, doing all of this for me? He's really a loving sort of person. The type who's loyal to a fault once that loyalty's earned._

 _And somehow, here I am, ascended up the path of redemption and standing at the peak of the mountain._

His hand reached out to snag Shizuo's impulsively, as if reminding himself this was real.

Shizuo, who'd been staring through the window with Izaya's belongings at his feet and in his lap, was pondering the situation with equal disbelief.

 _What the hell am I doing? Now I'm going to have him around me basically 24/7. I won't regret this, will I?_

 _He's had time to pull something over on me, and he hasn't. At this point, it's just me who has doubts in myself. I need to get over this. I can't let it get in the way of my own happiness._

 _I can be happy with him. Hell, I'm happy now. I'm just scared it'll go away._

He gripped the small, warm hand that had reached for his.

 _I won't let go. You're not going anywhere._

They'd both thrived in the attention of one another, as if they'd plugged in the gaps that had been open within them for a long time. Izaya finally had the connections he'd so craved, and Shizuo finally had the one person who'd seen him at his worst – and now his best – and had the insight to be able to put the brakes on his temper. As good as Izaya had been at setting him off, he was just as good at shutting him down.

Of course, he'd also learned how to push other aspects of Shizuo's limits, which was why the hand within his suddenly crept under the suitcase on his lap.

Shizuo swatted at it, but Izaya was looking at him with a suggestive little grin and lustful eyes. Shizuo gave in and lifted up the arm that had been resting in the window, pressing his fist to his mouth.

Izaya had a knack for being able to fill the cup just to the point before it spilled.

He withdrew his hand and covered his mouth with it as he yawned.

Shizuo glared at him with bright red cheeks and shallow breaths still escaping through his slightly parted lips.

Izaya shot him an ebullient smile. "Ah, we're here. How exciting! I feel like I'm off to camp!"

They paid the taxi and unloaded Izaya's baggage. Shizuo carried most of it while Izaya held the stuffed dog in front of him and addressed it in a whimsical tone. "Look, Taiyo! You get a new home for a little while!"

Shizuo set the luggage down in the living room and swiftly turned to Izaya. "Put that down."

"Hmm?" Izaya gave him a curious glance, though he knew exactly what was on Shizuo's mind.

He set it down obediently and let Shizuo take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom.

"Are you gonna finish what you started?" Shizuo asked, sitting on the bed. He undid his bowtie and started working at the buttons of his shirt.

Izaya slid his coat off. "Wouldn't you like it if I take your clothes off for you?"

"No, because you like teasing me …"

Izaya knelt down in front of him. "But you like it."

Shizuo glanced away with a frown and huffed. "Keep telling yourself that." But the telltale pink flush in his cheeks gave him away.

Izaya nudged Shizuo's knees apart and pushed his body against the edge of the bed. Then he looked up at Shizuo, not breaking eye contact while he slowly undid each button on both the shirt and vest. When this was done, he raised up slightly and pulled them down Shizuo's arms.

Shizuo took this opportunity to wrench Izaya's shirt up over his head, jerking his body to him so they both collapsed on the bed.

Izaya looked down at Shizuo, now accustomed to the extent of Shizuo's passion. He sat atop him, reminded again of it. "What does my Zuo want, hm? You're so generous with me, I should give something back in return."

Shizuo ran his hands along Izaya's smooth chest, which was still slim but not as unhealthy as it had been when he'd first returned. Shizuo had made sure of that. His eyes were almost glassy with affection for the delicate body atop his own. Still, he knew this deceptive shell masked wiry muscles that enabled fast reflexes and impressive agility.

"You're sure you want to do this?"

Izaya ran a hand along Shizuo's chest absently, trailing his fingers along it like he was miming to the 'Itsy Bitsy Spider.' "You're ready for that step, hm?"

Shizuo's flush deepened. "N-not that! Moving in with me, I mean. Working with me."

Izaya leaned down, his face inches from Shizuo's. "I want to be involved in every aspect of your life. It's better that you agree to it, anyway."

"If I didn't, you'd still be keeping tabs on me?"

"I always did," Izaya murmured, pressing a finger to Shizuo's lips and tracing along their outline. "Even then, I had an unnatural fascination for you. Now I actually appreciate you, and that fascination's even stronger."

"You're saying I'll never be rid of you?"

Izaya shook his head, still smiling.

Shizuo's lips transformed into a smile of their own. "Good." Then he pressed Izaya's face to his with a forceful hand against the back of his head.

Back at the Awakusu-kai viewing room, many of them were unprepared for what followed. A few of them had the sudden realization that they'd been watching something tantamount to porn. This was a slight niggle in the back of some of their heads, but too many of them were still having trouble believing it was really happening. This was their way of reminding themselves of the reality of things.

"Well, we'll be right back to third base soon," Rokujo said with a sigh. They'd all settled into metal chairs and the room looked like an absurd theatre. "Who's doing it this time, do you think?"

"Hey, they could always take turns and do both. Or both at once." Akabayashi shrugged. He was very experienced and unjaded by sexual matters.

All of them were now adults at this point, but Mairu and Kururi would watch between their fingers. "Ooh, our own brother doing such a thing! That perv!"

Kasuka politely looked away. "I don't exactly enjoy watching my brother make such faces, either. It wasn't so bad when they were testing things out, but now-"

"They've really gotten skilled at it!" Erika was tapping her feet and her hands were clasped. "And they have no restraint! It's marvelous!"

"That's not the word I'd use for it," Kyohei said quietly. "It's hard to look them in the eye knowing what they get up to. Not that it's wrong – it's natural, and I'm glad they're enjoying themselves …"

"Technically, they're enjoying each other," Walker corrected.

"I'd think it was funny if I couldn't tell Izaya so obviously enjoys it," Masaomi said. "He's infuriating even in his sex life."

"It's odd to think he didn't have one before this," Anri said, glancing away as her blush rose.

"Which explains why he's going all in," Mikado added, though he was also looking away and flushing slightly. They happened to lock gazes and looked away from one another to other points of the room.

"I'll try anything once," Rokujo said, "but I like boobs too much, man."

"Have any of you done this?" Akabayashi asked. "Messed around with the same sex?"

"That's private, dude!" Masaomi scolded. "Besides, they're in luuuurve, right? So that's an entirely different case."

"I still feel guilty watching," Tom said, shaking his head. "Guilty, and a little shocked."

"I find it very fascinating," Vorona remarked. "From female perspective, I am unable to experience what they are experiencing. I am wondering what it is like. Obviously, it is enjoyable."

[Tell me when it's over.] Celty requested of Shinra. [I can't look. Hearing it's bad enough.]

The speakers worked surprisingly well, and surrounded all of the gang with very vivid exclamations and other assorted sensual noises. For someone watching them as they watched (and listened to) Shizuo and Izaya, it would've been incredibly amusing to see their assorted reactions.

There were a lot of wide eyes, some that were covered, and some who didn't know whether to cover their eyes or plug their ears.

When there was a lull, Mairu whipped out her phone. "Do it, Kururi!"

Kururi swiped open the contacts and hit Izaya's icon. His phone rang from his pants, which were on the floor. A familiar song starting playing: the same sentimental one about birds suddenly appearing.

"The HELL IS THAT DOING ON YOUR PHONE?!" Shizuo blew up, sitting bolt upright in the bed so fast that Izaya nearly tumbled off of it.

Izaya hopped down and bent to pluck it free. "This isn't my ringtone. Ah, the culprit's calling me to rub it in. What timing. Almost like she knew what I was up to …"

He surprised her by answering. "What's up, Sister?"

His voice echoed out of the speakers and back into his own ears. He held it away from his ear. "Where are you? Your connection sounds bad. I can hear myself."

"I just … uh … heard that you were moving out of Celty's, is all. And that you got a new job. I wanted to wish you luck!"

"That's considerate of you. Is Kururi there with you?"

"Hi, big brother," Kururi called over the receiver.

"Yep. I'm out of Celty and Shinra's hair already. Once I get permanently settled in, I'll catch up with you." He held the phone away again. "That backfeed is really unbearable. I'm hanging up now. I'll text you."

He hung up and tossed the phone back onto the pile of clothes.

Everyone else let their withheld breaths escape.

"Shizuo never did grow to love that song as much as he grew to love Izaya, did he?" Mairu mused.

Kururi nodded. "We'll keep trying."

Izaya looked at Shizuo's agitated face. "I'll change it back, don't worry. Did that kill the mood?"

Shizuo shrugged, still agitated.

Izaya sat next to him and slung his arms around his neck. He kissed his ear, then whispered into it, "I'll get you back into it."

Shizuo turned to kiss him, but Izaya sprung up nimbly. "There's something I want to try, if you're up for it." He glanced down. "So to speak. I'll be right back."

He flung something at Shizuo then wandered out of view into another room.

The group in the viewing room leaned forward, trying to make out what exactly Shizuo was holding in his hands. When he realized what it was, his head jerked in the direction Izaya had gone.

"Are you sure about this?! I don't know how … I've never … I've never even used these things!"

"I _thought_ I was missing some!" Shinra said under his breath.

"This is it, folks," Akabayashi said, cracking his knuckles. "Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Or leave the room, if you've got a complex about it."

Izaya, who'd gone into the bathroom (the one area Akabayashi had felt it inappropriate to bug), reemerged into the bedroom. "Don't you have a sense of adventure, Zuo? Imagine how nice it must feel for you."

"I'll hurt _you_ , though," Shizuo insisted. "I don't know how to do it, and I'll probably get too into it and go too hard or something."

Izaya shrugged. "Another fun experiment. I trust you. That's why I wanted to try it with you."

"I can't hurt you again …" Shizuo murmured, though he was clearly wrestling with his desires. "If it hurts for women, won't it hurt even worse for you?"

"It only hurts at first, I hear. Then it feels good." Izaya leaned down and tilted Shizuo's face up to him by the chin. "Don't you want to make me scream your name the way you used to scream mine?"

Shizuo bit his lip. "I want to …"

"But something's holding you back, for once?" Izaya asked. "It's me, you realize. And I'm telling you to go for it. I want you to. I want _you_ to do it, no one else."

Those were very hard words to not be stimulated by. _Very_ hard for Shizuo, in fact.

"Iza …"

"Do it because you love me. We can't be any closer than in that moment. You can quite literally be inside me …"

Shizuo pulled him onto the bed and straddled him. "I want to hear you scream my name. I'm going to make sure you remember this for the rest of your life."

Izaya looked positively thrilled by this promise. He gripped the sheets beneath him, twisting them up in his hands while he gazed up at Shizuo. "I'm yours to do with as you please."

"BOOM!" Masaomi yelled abruptly. "Shizuo tops!"

He was immediately drowned out by Izaya's elongated, half-agonized, half-pleasured groan. At this point, everyone but Erika looked away – but they heard every bit of it.

"You can't say they're not versatile!" Erika argued. "Maybe Shizuo will want to try bottoming, too!"

"I can't see anyone _wanting_ to do that," Masaomi said, cringing. "Other than Izaya, obviously, because he's a twisted fuck."

"Well, obviously it's starting to feel good! He's making all sorts of moans and groans!" Erika covered her mouth. "It's so intense! Shizu-Shizu is so passionate! The way he's looking into Izayan's eyes, and the way he tenderly caresses Izayan's face while he plunges –"

"Ah, Erika, c'mon!" Kyohei objected. "I'm looking away for a reason. I don't need a blow by blow account!"

"They already did that," she pointed out helpfully.

"Don't remind me!"

Celty was kneeling in the corner of the room while Shinra patted her back. "Our Izaya's a big boy now. It's only natural he'd do something like this with the man he loves."

"Shizuo sound like wild animal," Simon said. He was also looking away, shaking his head with wide eyes. "So scary!"

As if to reinforce this comment, Shizuo let out a guttural cry that reverberated throughout the room. A speaker hissed and popped like it was about to blow out. Some of them gasped, startled.

He ended up falling atop Izaya breathlessly. Izaya wrapped his arms around him just as his legs remained wrapped around Shizuo's.

"Was that enjoyable?" he asked Shizuo.

"Whaddoyou think?" Shizuo muttered, trying to regain control of his breathing. He lifted his head and caressed Izaya's cheek. "You okay?"

Izaya had already experienced pain so strong it made him wish death was around the corner, and this was at Shizuo's hands – but he wouldn't tell him this. This had been much more bearable, if a little uncomfortable at first. He dug his hand into Shizuo's hair. "I liked it enough to want to do it again."

Shizuo gave him a little half-grin. "Good." He rolled off of Izaya. "What sucks is it really makes me want a cigarette."

Izaya flicked his nose. "No cigarettes for you, except for the chocolate ones, of course. Go take a shower."

Shizuo sat up and ran a hand through his sweat-matted hair. "Take one with me."

Izaya rolled onto his side and leaned his head against his hand. "There's no room!"

"So you'll be pressed against me the whole time. What's wrong with that?" Shizuo's eyebrow's quirked as a little smile played at his lips.

Izaya sighed and sat up next to him. "I've turned you into a monster again …" He burrowed his face in between Shizuo's neck and shoulder, sucking his salty skin. "But that's okay as long as you're _my_ monster."

"You trying to get me going again? 'Cuz it's working."

"Of course you'd have unrelenting stamina," Izaya mused. "But I can think of plenty of things I want to try, as long as you're willing to try them with me."

"Anything," Shizuo said without hesitation. He stood up and pulled Izaya up by the arm. "Now we'll do something _I_ want to try."

Izaya followed after him, still sticky with sweat and aching all over. But after that, he felt more wrapped up in Shizuo than ever. His mind was burning through ideas of things he wanted to try with him: sexual things, and also more mundane things. Would Shizuo like this restaurant? What would Shizuo think of this movie? Maybe Shizuo'd enjoy an out-of-town trip? Would Shizuo go to an arcade, or prefer to game at home? If he did game, what type of game would he like?

Izaya, who achieved satisfaction from the reactions of others, was never more satisfied than when he learned new things about the one person who'd ever eluded his understanding. He was utterly consumed with creating scenarios with which to learn new things about Shizuo.

Shizuo enjoyed all of the attention lavished on him. He felt appreciated and cared for. Izaya was always asking him questions: 'Do you like this, Zuo?' 'Would you like to try that, Zuo?' 'What would make you happy, Zuo?' And he took what information he gleaned to introduce new things to Shizuo, things that usually made him happy (he had not enjoyed the trip to the flower garden in which a persistent bee had followed him for the entire duration – even so, Izaya had said it was because Shizuo was sweet like a flower).

But Shizuo also lived for bringing a genuine smile to Izaya's face. 'That smile lights up his face,' sort of thing. What Izaya gave him he felt compelled to give back. He knew Izaya delighted in Shizuo's reactions, and this satisfied the desire within him to observe and delight in 'humanity'. But it was like what had once been the whole of humanity was now concentrated to Shizuo, and all of that love Izaya had to give was now focused on Shizuo as well. And he'd learned to show his love in the form of gifts and gestures that reflected the knowledge his observations had attained.

Both of them wanted to be loved, and because they felt loved, they'd learned howto show their own love.

Eventually, Celty's group learned the versatile manner in which they showed it.

Considering no one had thought Izaya would top, and very few thought Shizuo would ever share this duty with him, a very small pool won the bet.

But she was surprised when Rokujo said something that all of the other winners echoed: "I feel kinda like this is dirty money. I mean, we earned it watching two people at their most intimate. They didn't even know it, either."

"Aren't their happy smiles payment enough?" Shinra asked (he'd won along with Rokujo). "We achieved our goal: peace in Ikebukuro. We should continue to contribute to that."

"We should take a load off our conscience," Akabayashi agreed (he was also a winner). "By using this money for something else."

"In a way that still makes us happy," Mika agreed (yet another winner).

"We can definitely achieve happiness from continuing to contribute to theirs!" Mikado had become an astute observer of humans, much in the way his unintentional tutor, Izaya had been. He'd also won the bet.

"My brother's been complaining about needing more dishes for cooking," Kasuka remarked. He and Ruri had both profited from the willingness of his brother to compromise. "Perhaps we could buy him some."

[A housewarming party!] Celty typed. She'd abandoned the dry-erase board since they'd reached their goal, but she hurried off to retrieve it. Party-planning was a new hobby she'd recently learned she enjoyed. **Let's plan a party for them! Maybe we could go see the new place and have one there?**

"Would Shizuo go for that?" Kyohei asked. "He's still frazzled with all the changes in his life."

Izaya had fit right in at Shizuo's debt-collection agency. So well, in fact, that he somehow managed to get the debt collected, with interest, before Tom and Shizuo would need to be sent after it. Consequently, Tom, Shizuo, and Vorona had much less to do. Izaya's success had taken away from the need for their jobs.

When Shizuo had mentioned this to Izaya, he'd dismissed it as an issue. "Ah, Zuo, I'll be the breadwinner. You don't need to work."

"What about Tom and Vorona?"

Izaya had sighed. "I can find them other jobs. I've made new connections through my work."

"Then I'd just be bored at home while you worked!"

"Hmm. Yes, we'd see each other more if you kept working … I do enjoy our lunch breaks." He said this with a wink. "Well, I can try to scale back my ambition … maybe I'll hook Tom and Vorona up elsewhere and back you up instead."

"There's no way I'll let you do that! Taking care of dangerous people like that from a computer is one thing, but doing it in person is another!"

"In other words, you want to protect me by leaving me behind a computer?" Izaya asked. Shizuo nodded and folded his arms as though there'd be no argument.

"Zuo, if I was with you, tell me, would you honestly let anyone lay a hand on me?"

He was starting to argue in a logical circle. Shizuo began to feel agitated by this. "No. I'd kill them."

"So I'm in no danger at all if I'm with you. Plus, I can talk my way around a lot. I'll confuse them into giving up the money. Then it's more peaceful for you, right?"

Shizuo couldn't argue with that, but he was still annoyed. "Fine. So say you get Tom and Vorona jobs somewhere else-"

"With better pay," Izaya added. He wanted to encourage Vorona to spend more time with Tom and less around Shizuo. He'd learned he was rather possessive.

"Okay. With better pay. And you back me up instead. What happens to your intel job?"

"Oh, I can do both," Izaya said with a smile that slid into a leer. "I'm versatile."

Shizuo still looked grumpy, so Izaya had taken a step closer to him. "Tell me, what's wrong with this idea? I'm with you more, and Tom and Vorona make more money and get more time alone. Everyone wins."

"I just feel like you talked me into agreeing with you. That there's no way I woulda won the argument."

"There wasn't," Izaya agreed. He pushed the abort button before Shizuo could lose his cool. "But you don't mind me getting my way, hm? I let you get yours plenty, where it counts."

Once again, Shizuo had been unable to argue. Therefore, Tom and Vorona were informed of their new, higher-paying positions, and with a little convincing by Tom, Vorona had agreed. Izaya had even been a little sentimental and hooked them up with jobs at the museum, which was a bit out of the way (he was hoping they'd fall in love and move away, further from Shizuo) but Vorona loved it and Tom loved her, so they had no problem with it.

When a certain debt-owing person opened their door to the sight of Shizuo's scowl and Izaya's grin, it wasn't long before they gave it up. Izaya could talk mostly everyone into giving it up – all Shizuo had to do was stand there and look menacing, which he did well. And if they did run before Izaya could get to them, Shizuo happily took care of it.

Izaya kept busy and Shizuo got to be lazier. It worked out well for both of them. It was still a strange sight for people to walk by a café and see them through a window eating together.

The City Manager was personally quite happy with how much money he now seemed to be saving on replacing street signs and vending machines.

The corner market where Shizuo had purchased his cigarettes, however, had not been as pleased with their loss in profit.

Celty continued with her attempt to persuade everyone: **Izaya will talk him into it. He loves get-togethers, and Shizuo loves him, so … Wow, it's still weird to think of that, isn't it?**

There were synonymous murmurs of agreement.

"I saw them walking around together and I still froze in place, expecting a fight," Mikado said, shaking his head. "I remember when I first came to Ikebukuro. I saw Shizuo tear the street apart trying to get to Izaya. Now he seems happy to walk along behind Izaya while Izaya talks, and the streets are safe."

"I used to drag them into restaurant and make them to eat sushi together," Simon said. "But now they come in together without force. Take turns paying bill, and sometimes I hear them laughing. Once, I thought Shizuo laughing was sign of impending destruction! Now I become used to it."

"It's strange not to hear a random 'IIIIIIIIZAYAAAAAA!' while I'm walking around town," Masaomi said. He snickered and quickly appended, "But I guess he's just yelling it at home now."

"You know, I thought it'd be fun to surprise Izaya with a visit once," Mairu said with a finger to her mouth. "But when I was in the hallway to the apartment, I heard such a frightful racket that I ran away!"

"I didn't," Kururi said. "I kept listening. At first I thought they were fighting, but then I figured out they were f-"

"I've seen enough of that," Namie interjected. "I don't need to picture it anymore."

 **At least it's working out so far. Let's help them along. We can get them gifts and bring them to their place. I'll suggest it to Izaya, and he'll talk Shizuo into it. Plus, I haven't been yet and I'm dying to see it!**

"Should we call Tom and Vorona and ask them?" Kasuka asked. Tom and Vorona were out of town at work. "Their schedules are trickier to work with than ours. Plus, I have a film shoot two weeks from now."

"The one we're going to!" Mairu and Kururi held hands and grinned at Kasuka, who seemed indifferent to this.

"And Ruri has her concert soon, too," Saburo remembered thoughtfully. The truth was, he'd been counting down the days.

 **I'll text him now. Just think about gifts. I know it's strange to think, 'What could Izaya and Shizuo use?' But that's the world we live in now. And I have to say, it's the most peaceful mine has ever been!**

Everyone had to agree. Shizuo and work kept Izaya entertained, and Izaya kept Shizuo calm. With the two of them neutralized, Simon was able to live his own peaceful life. Celty was living her own domestic dream and was at peace with the loss of her head, as well as her own place within humanity. The Dollars had been abandoned by Mikado, and the yellow scarves disbanded. Rokujo was only in town now and again to visit with his friends and kept his gang business separate. Aoba was still a troublemaker with the Blue Squares, but the Awakusu-kai kept that in check.

 **Okay. I'll get back to everyone with the date and address. See you then!**

Celty texted Izaya once everyone had cleared out of her apartment. Shinra flopped down next to her on the couch and turned on the TV.

[Izaya, how do you feel about a housewarming party? Everyone would love to come over and see the new place. Plus, I miss you guys!]

"It sure is quiet without Izaya around," Shinra mused. It had been two and a half months since he'd left, but it was still a change considering he'd been there for nearly six. "Say hi for me."

{Hey, Big Sis! Oh, it's been so exhausting moving everything in! Thankfully, Zuo does most of the heavy lifting :p Once we're done, I'd love to see you … but who is 'everyone'?}

[Well … the whole crew. All-] she had to pause to count on her fingers [25 of us. Do you have room for that?]

{Sure. I made enough combined with Zuo to put down on a condo.}

[Oh? Mairu said you lived in an apartment, I thought.]

{We own the whole building. I sublet.}

Celty was impressed. [Wow. You really rebounded. See what you can do with power? It's not all bad!]

{I quite enjoy being a landlord, in addition to my work with Zuo. I like to keep busy, you know. That's why I haven't been in the chat-room. But I can always make time for you :)}

[That's so sweet! Well, when do you think you'd be able to host us? We'll bring food, so don't worry about that.]

{I'll talk to Shizuo. It'll take some convincing, but I'm very persuasive. Then I'll get back to you. You don't need to bring food. We both cook. Well, I'm trying …}

[How about I come over early and help you cook, then?]

{That would be fun! Shinra, too?}

[Only if you want him distracting you or burning something. If you give him something to chop, he'll cut himself.]

{Funny for someone who's so precise with a scalpel.}

[Ironic, maybe. Never funny :/ I'll give him something else to do to keep him busy. Besides, he might set Shizuo off.]

{Akane mentioned something to him about an 'Abort Button Maneuver'. Apparently I do it when he's about to blow. Funny how it has a name now. Maybe I should patent it? Haha!}

[I'm trying to remember if I saw you do that or not. If I didn't, maybe I'm better off not knowing what it is.]

{Aw, Big Sis doesn't like thinking about me doing the deed with Shizuo? Tee-hee, you're so modest! What if I have questions for you?}

 _If only he knew …_ Celty shuddered.

[I don't think I can answer anything for you that the internet can't, or maybe even Shinra. I'd prefer to stay out of that!]

{Big Sis, you ever wonder how aliens make little baby aliens? Hmm … they must not even have the same parts as us …}

[Eugh! Stop! That's scary! They probably have tentacles, like in some of those books I found of Shinra's.]

{Still a pervert, huh? Geez. Some boys never grow up.}

{Oh, hey, I've gotta go. Shizuo wants something. Not to do the deed, mind you, since I must protect your sensitive soul. I'll text you soon }

[Bye for now, Izaya! Text me more often once you're settled in!]

{:p}

Celty sighed and shut her screen off.

Shinra slid an arm around her shoulders. "Empty nest syndrome, eh, Celty?"

She nodded forlornly.

"Want me to take your mind off of it?"

Celty didn't know if he was being perverted or not, but she usually assumed he was and was correct 90% of the time.

[We should probably think about what we'd want to give them for the party. Oh, and I'm going to help them cook beforehand.]

"Want me to help?"

Celty shook her head swiftly. [You need to take care of your hands. Remember last time with the radishes?]

"I don't have to cut things …" Shinra said with a pout.

[I do need your help though. Since I'll be busy helping them, I'd like you to coordinate with everyone else. You can get a ride over with Kyohei or your father, maybe.]

"Anything you ask, Celty, and I'll do it!"

Celty pressed her helmet to his head to show her appreciation. She'd gotten used to wearing it again around Izaya. Truthfully, she felt self-conscious without it on in the presence of anyone other than Shinra.

She had the sentimental feeling associated with approaching the conclusion of a book she didn't want to end. But she convinced herself that she would have plenty more happy memories with Shizuo and Izaya, and everyone else. Then they'd return to their ordinary lives, and Shizuo and Izaya would continue their somewhat less conventional shared life.

When she thought about it, 'ordinary' was relative. What was normal for her was extraordinary for others, and what was extraordinary for her might've been normal to someone else. What she wanted was for everyone to find their own 'normal,' their own state of serenity.

 _Ikebukuro is my town. This is my life. These are my friends, and their lives are their own. Sometimes I have the privilege to share in them. In those extraordinary moments, I'm almost as happy as when I'm sitting at home with Shinra watching TV._

 _But I'm happiest knowing that my loved ones are happy, too. Gang leaders, members of the Yakuza, former Russian assassins, idols, students, monsters and masterminds … we all share this life in some way. We're all connected._

 _This is my little slice of the world, sitting next to someone else's slice. And theirs is next to another, and another … And if someone cuts away at one, eventually the others are next. I'm content in my duty to look out for everyone else's slice of happiness because it contributes to my own._

 _Thinking back to the beginning of this plan, I wasn't sure what result it would have. But I never could've imagined this – it exceeded every expectation! Izaya, Shizuo, you didn't let me down._

 _More importantly, now you're there to support each other._

 _Let us contribute to your happiness at least one more time. Ikebukuro is my town, your town, Mikado's town … it belongs to all of us._

She thought once more of the headline to that article.

 _There's never an end to this twisted love story._


	11. Epilogue - The Housewarming Party

**Epilogue: The House-Warming Party**

Celty had never in her long life pictured herself chopping onions in a kitchen with Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima. She'd volunteered to do it because, unlike the two of them, she didn't cry. Izaya informed her there was a compound in them called 'sulfur' that caused this reaction, not an emotional issue.

She knew a lot of things, but not everything.

When she'd walked up to the condo, she'd been impressed. It must've been quite an ego boost to Izaya to own an entire building. Of course he'd love having dozens of denizens under his thumb. She wondered what Shizuo thought of it. Knowing him, he didn't care as long as they left him alone.

She rang the doorbell to their place not knowing what to expect (they were on the top two floors of the four story building). Shizuo opened it with a smile.

"Hey, Celty. Thanks for helping out."

She was immediately struck by two things: his deep tan and relaxed expression. He also smelled a little like suntan lotion, or had some sort of beachy quality.

When she saw Izaya, she ran up to him and typed a message immediately. [You're so blotchy! Are those patches of sunburn? You need to wear lotion!]

Izaya had fair skin and some of it was now beet red in random spots. "Yes, I know. Thank you for your concern. I used 70 SPF – 70! But I guess I didn't apply it everywhere …"

"I told you to let me do it," Shizuo fussed. He sounded a little like he felt vindicated.

Izaya rolled his eyes. "You probably would've missed spots, too."

"I'm very thorough."

Izaya sighed. "I can't argue with that, I guess." He looked back to Celty. "You can hug me. Just avoid the spots that look burnt."

Celty embraced him, pleased that he had filled out to a healthy weight. [Okay. What do you need me to do?]

"Let me show you around, first! Shizuo's got it for now," Izaya insisted. "Unless you want to show her, Zuo."

"You care way more about it than I do," Shizuo called from the kitchen.

Izaya pointed in his direction. "That's where the kitchen is. Within it stands a grumpy Shizuo. Let's head elsewhere, shall we?"

He pointed out the 70" TV with the surround sound system, multiple gaming systems, and the leather reclining couch and loveseat. There was also a fancy lighting set-up with various dimmable bulbs and paper lanterns around them.

"Shizuo likes dim lighting inside," he'd explained. "Which makes no sense, since he loves sunshine. Our Shizuo's a contradictory fellow at times though, I suppose."

Izaya pointed out three bedrooms (one's for sleeping, another's a meditation room for Zuo, the third's … best kept a mystery), the open-plan kitchen that attached to the dining room, three bathrooms, and then took her upstairs to the top floor. It had a skylight above a pool, of all things, and looked exactly like she'd imagine a top floor penthouse to look. It was like an indoor beach.

[Was this where you got burned?]

"I thought I'd be fine with the glass barrier, but I guess I was an ant under a microscope." Izaya shrugged. "Live and learn, right? Even I don't anticipate everything."

[You did this for Shizuo, right? You don't like going outdoors much, but he does.]

"I keep my time in the sun minimal," Izaya arched his eyebrows, "for obvious reasons. But he likes relaxing in the sun by water, so I had this built for him. He gets bored easily when I'm busy, so he either goes into the meditation room or lounges up here."

[Are you working from home?]

"I do the bits from a computer that I can, yes, but I still go out with Shizuo." Izaya stretched, cringing when the burns bit back at him. "Ah, I do hate the sun. He's lucky it loves him."

[We should go help Shizuo. But this is very nice. I'm proud of you, Izaya.]

If she'd had her head, it would've been smiling.

"Thanks, Celty. I stay on my toes most of the time, thanks to work and Zuo. It keeps me out of trouble – well, the bad kind, anyway." Izaya headed for the stairs. "We can luxuriate more during the party. Shizuo'll probably retreat to his room, but I'll mingle."

[So everything's working out, then?] She hurried along beside him and held this up to him before they made it to the bottom floor.

"Work? The condo? Shizuo?"

[That sounds like everything!]

Something in his expression softened as he looked at her. "After everything that I've done, I'm happier than I have any right to be."

[It's not like you killed anyone, Izaya! Don't be so down on yourself!]

"I know … but the more I'm around him, the more I think … what if my plan had worked? If I'd succeeded at killing him? I don't think I would have changed. He wouldn't have defeated me, and I never would've crawled back with my tail between my legs for everyone to fix."

[The past is the past. Don't think about it. It doesn't matter what might've happened; only what did.]

Izaya's eyes glimmered and Celty realized he was trying not to cry. It was jarring to see the man who'd once kept such a confident mask on reveal the true face behind it.

"All of the love you and everyone else has shown me, despite what I did, has helped me learn to love myself. I was arrogant before, but I think I felt … unworthy of love. Even though I wanted it. The love I said I had for humans wasn't real love. I think it was admiration."

[And now you know what love is?]

"Love is just love; it can't be explained," Izaya said with a wistful smile. "I think that's a proverb Simon taught me on a fishing trip once. I really hate fishing – Zuo would like it much more – but Simon's really an intelligent guy."

[Well, love is relative to everyone, I think. So as long as you've discovered your own interpretation of it, it's correct.]

"You really are wise, Celty," Izaya said. Though his eyes sharpened on occasion, they were on the whole much softer than they'd once been. And that ever-present smirk now moved more freely between neutral to a genuine smile.

[Do you see this lasting?]

His eyebrows lifted and his eyes widened like he was a little thrown by this question. "I never tried to look at it that way. I just try to take each day as it is. That's how Shizuo sees things. It's helped shaped my own perspective. To a degree, I still anticipate things … but not so far ahead." He shrugged. "Really, anything can change in an instant. I could die tomorrow. Nothing is forever. But Shizuo said I should value each day instead of fearing my last."

[He's very insightful at times. I have a complex relationship with death. For obvious reasons. But I have to say, my existence points to more possibilities in death than just the end of existence. Isn't everything in life sort of miraculous? How gravity keeps us rooted to the ground, how the earth spins around the sun, how we're a tiny little speck of dust in the grand scheme of the universe?]

"You've been watching too much _Mysteries of the Universe_ ," Izaya said with a chuckle. "Remember the time my phone autocorrected that to _Mysteries of the Unicycle_?"

[I do! And I wrote that it was a mystery anyone rode one!]

"Ah, yes, and then I truly learned what a wry sense of humor you had," Izaya said. He slung an arm around her shoulder in a way that would've made Shinra tense. "I fell a little more in love with you then."

Shizuo, who was about to enter the stairwell to go looking for them, heard this and tensed in Shinra's place.

Then Izaya said, "But Shizuo will always reside in the largest chamber of my heart, so you can tell Shinra he has nothing to worry about."

Shizuo relaxed and leaned his back against the wall, feeling a little swell of pride within him. "Hey, you two gonna come help me or what?"

They hurried out, and Celty ended up with her designated duty of onion chopper. She was attuned to the activities of Shizuo and Izaya around her, and noticed they were falling into similar patterns to her and Shinra's. She saw this in Shizuo's requests for Izaya to sit down or at least go put lotion on his sunburns (only if you'll do it! Izaya objected), and the way he'd take over when Izaya was fussing about something boiling over or his inability to balance spices and herbs.

And when Shizuo would yell at something that didn't work exactly like how he wanted it to, she saw it in the soothing words and caresses of Izaya. Apparently, the Abort Button Maneuver had branched out into other things.

Izaya had learned, as a matter of fact, it was easier to say something like, "Well, that spoon was poorly made," if Shizuo broke it. Or, "The heat in this stove needs to be adjusted," if Shizuo left something too near a burner and it melted. Shizuo's blow-ups were reduced to him saying, "stupid spoon" and "stupid stove" this way.

On the other hand, Izaya would constantly praise things Shizuo did well (Celty had no way of knowing yet if these were truly done well), which encouraged him to keep pushing on. Izaya's skills in the kitchen were as a motivator and taster. He was also not bad at chopping, since he had some skill with a knife. But Shizuo was scared of him cutting himself, so this was left to Celty.

 _Thanks for worrying about whether or not_ I _cut myself, Shizuo. Geez._

It was clear to her that the project had ended with a resounding success.

She paused her chopping and typed something for both of them to read: [I just have to say, you two are so cute together.]

A thoughtful smile slid onto Izaya's face and Shizuo's cheeks darkened, but he didn't look angry.

"I guess. I mean, I never thought about it –"

Izaya interjected with a far more gracious, "Thank you, Celty. It's only fitting you should get to enjoy the fruits of your labor."

They finished with the food about an hour after Celty had arrived, but here wasn't much of a respite before guests started arriving. Shinra showed up first with his father and step-mother (yay, thought Celty sarcastically). After that, Kadota and his gang wandered in. Shizuo wondered why the girl kept looking at him with a weird leer on her face.

In fact, Shizuo still wasn't sure he actually knew everyone that had been invited. But it made Izaya happy, so he dealt with it.

They immediately settled into the living room while Celty showed Shinra and his parents around. Shizuo was relieved to see his brother next, along with Ruri, while Mairu and Kururi bounded in after (presumably tailing Kasuka).

All along the counter, Shizuo and Izaya were noticing gifts piling up. This made them rather curious. What could people possibly think of for them?

One after another, guests entered the condo. After all 25 guests had arrived and the pile of presents was precariously tottering, Izaya managed to drag Shizuo into the living room while Celty wrangled everyone.

"Wow, look at this turnout!" Izaya stood in front of the TV with Shizuo, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. "Shizuo's shy, so I'll make this brief: we'd both like to thank you all for coming, and for the completely unexpected gifts. There's a second floor you're all welcome to explore, and there are three restrooms. You're welcome to two of them. The TV is hooked up to a surround-sound system, so you can play music, watch TV, or play either of the game systems. The library's to the left, here. The second floor has a pool, a cabana, and longue chairs. We'll set up food on the dining room table, and you can take it along with you and eat it anywhere – but if you spill it …"

"I'll kill you," Shizuo said dutifully.

Izaya gave them a chipper smile. "Well, then. Enjoy yourselves!"

Mikado and Masaomi settled down to play a video game, while Anri sat between them contentedly. Saki, who still harbored some tense feelings towards Izaya, had stayed home.

Rokujo and Kadota's gang wandered up to the top floor and lounged by the pool with their mixed drinks. Akabayashi joined them (Akane had remained home due to her young age and the proximity of alcoholic beverages).

Ruri and Kasuka were playing a board game with Tom and Vorona, while Simon and Dennis had happily taken on roles as volunteer bartenders. Food was their life, and this habit was hard to break for them. Of course, they partook in a good deal of these drinks.

Namie was following Mika and Seiiji around while trying to avoid Shingen and Emilia.

Celty and Shinra were talking with Izaya and Shizuo. Shizuo looked around constantly, unnerved by the crowd. He'd always hated cities. His dream was to go live in the country, maybe the mountains or near the ocean, and to not have to rely on the trappings of city life. Izaya, however, seemed to thrive in it. But if it came down to it, Izaya was fine with maintaining social interaction from behind the screen of his phone or a computer. This was a discussion for another time, however. For now, it had simply been bandied about as pillow talk.

Mairu and Kururi had been sitting and watching their idol, Kasuka, until nature called and they went in search of one of the bathrooms. "Is it this door here?"

She turned the knob. "Hmm. Locked? Why would that be?"

Kururi whipped out a barette, their curiosity suddenly overwhelming the call of nature. "Keep watch. I'll pick it."

When she was successful, they opened the door.

"What is _that?"_ Mairu wondered aloud upon seeing what was within it.

"Red silk ropes?"

Kururi was about to go investigate, but before she could venture in any further, a voice boomed: "GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!"

A hand fell on Mairu's shoulder and she jumped. Izaya shut his eyes and gave her a jovial smile. "Shut the door and forget what you saw, or I'll find a way to take that gift I gave you back. Okay?"

She shut it. Kururi whispered to her, "Do you think that's a play-room?"

"They must have an adventurous sex life," Mairu muttered. "I don't know what else I expected from Izaya."

There was a point at the party where Izaya asked Shizuo to walk to the store to pick up more drinks, and Shizuo was all too happy to take a break from the overstimulation.

Of course, while Shizuo might've seen this as a courtesy from Izaya intended for this purpose, Izaya always had a secondary motivation.

Once Shizuo was out of earshot, Izaya gathered everyone and asked for their undivided attention. He stood in the center of the living room surrounded by the group that had gathered.

"Well, this was a nice idea. I feel so honored to have all of you here showing your implicit acceptance of mine and Shizuo's rather nonconventional relationship." Izaya gestured to the countertop, where the assorted gifts were arranged. "These weren't necessary. How considerate of you …"

Something in his expression shifted, a hardening of the eyes and an upward tilt of the lips that reminded them of the Izaya of old.

"However, it's only fitting that all of you should give us these gifts. After all, wasn't it the guilt money you won from your bet that bought them?" Izaya smiled and spun in a 360 circle around the room, pointing. "Every one of you watched to see who'd win, right? Don't think I didn't notice the cameras set up in Shizuo's spread."

The entirety of the room was silent. Guilt and shame transformed their previously curious expressions.

Izaya held a hand to his chest. "Now, coming from my perspective, I'm not at all bothered by it. I know things about you that you probably don't even know I knew. And you never will. I think it's only fair that I exposed the most vulnerable part of myself to all of you."

He quieted his tone conspiratorially. "But Shizuo? He doesn't need to know. If he did find out, I can't promise you that you'd manage to keep your lives. So for everyone's sake, let's continue to let him live on blissfully unaware of your deception. He doesn't even know about the bet."

The gleeful smile on his face didn't match the malicious glint in his eyes.

"He and I have a good thing going, partially thanks to you, and there's no way a word of this will slip out to him. Got it?"

Everyone nodded. Shizuo's strength remained feared, as was the return of Izaya's latent tendency to gain power via threats and manipulation. He was, indeed, rather frightening when it came to the defense of Shizuo.

"Good. But just so you know, if one of you does anything to upset either of us, some of this information may find a way to slip out." He tilted his head and a deceptively cute smile lit up his face. "That said, if from now on you continue to contribute to our shared happiness and abstain from further surveillance, we don't have a problem, and our mutual friendships can continue."

Within that statement was the implicit agreement that Izaya scarcely considered anyone a true 'friend,' and that although he would no longer go out of his way to mess with any of them, he still didn't trust them.

"Ah, Celty," he said with a sigh, "I know out of all of them that you alone never placed a bet on the outcome of this plan you engineered. Your interest was in the good of Ikebukuro itself, which is completely admirable. And I know you didn't enjoy the act of spying on Shizuo and myself. When you say we're cute together, I know you mean it. Therefore, you will remain my Big Sister."

Celty was relieved. She'd been wracked with guilt over prying into their personal lives all for the sake of controlling them. She'd been scared of them hurting one another, but once there was a certainty this wouldn't happen, she should've left them alone. But group mentality had sucked her into its fold.

Celty had just learned about the ramifications of peer pressure.

"I know you read all of our private chats, too, by the way." Izaya pointed to her, Akabayashi, and Namie in turn. "Mind you, I found all of this out just before I moved. I found a record of mine and Shizuo's chat logs on your computer, and then I decided to hack into all of your PMs. You all put quite a bit of work into this plan, mm?"

[Izaya, we just wanted to make sure you weren't going to hurt Shizuo …]

"A completely reasonable explanation. Like I said, I accept it. But it will never happen again, understand? If you want to know the state of my relationship with Shizuo, just ask me. Now, consider all of our relationships officially rebooted."

Nobody had ever thought they'd feel guilty in regards to Izaya Orihara, but here they were with their heads fallen just like they'd gotten scolded by their parents.

"Sorry, Big Brother … it was just really entertaining."

"We were just curious, Big Brother. We're sorry."

Everyone else started to offer their apologies, but Izaya lifted his hand to halt them.

"Don't waste your breath. I already know why you did it, remember? And I forgive you. But I won't forget. Just keep that in mind."

The growth of love within Izaya had turned him into an even deadlier force to be reckoned with.

But ultimately it was better that he focused all of his attention on protecting Shizuo and leaving them alone. Even if they all now looked like untrustworthy voyeurs in his eyes.

"Ah, here's Shizuo now." Izaya ran over to the door as the lock clicked open. Shiuzo opened it and stared at the room with an armful of bags.

"Huh? Why's everyone standing there?"

Izaya grabbed a bag from him. "We were just about to open our gifts, but of course we were waiting for you."

Shizuo set his bags onto the counter. He suddenly had the feeling Izaya had sent him away for a deliberate reason. Everyone in the room had either a fearful or guilty expression on their face, save Celty. But even she seemed to be slumping a bit.

Shizuo decided to trust in Izaya. If he wanted to tell Shizuo something, he'd do it later, in private. Besides, maybe after the gifts were opened, the party could finally come to a close and he could relax.

The partygoers had experienced a loss of enthusiasm as well. Thinly-masked threats from Izaya and the lingering feeling of guilt made everyone want to return to their own comfort zones – their own little slices of pie, as Celty would put it.

"I'll go first!" Izaya said with a clap of his hands that startled everyone. Music was playing, but it was a resonant gesture regardless.

"Oh, who is this from? Hm, little Akane? Did you bring this for her, Mr. Akabayashi?"

Akabayashi nodded, craving a cigarette. He watched as Izaya tore open the cute mascot paper and pulled the pink ribbon away.

"Ah!"

Shizuo leaned his head over Izaya's shoulder, curious.

" _Honest Communication with Yourself and Your Loved Ones."_ Izaya smirked. "She returned the favor, I see. Ah, Zuo, you'll have to read. As much as I know you loathe it, it's good for you!"

Shizuo examined the book while Izaya went for another gift. "From Mikado and Anri … A gift from the both of you. How sweet."

He unwrapped the conservative paper and arched his eyebrows. "Ah, this will be more useful for you, Zuo, but still fun for me …"

He thrust a tube of massage oil and a plastic rolling massager out at Shizuo. "For those nights when you come home with a kink here and there, no?"

Shizuo flushed a little at the thought of a massage and what it often led to. "Very considerate. Thanks."

"Funny how these gifts are reflections of what I bought everyone," Izaya said. He pressed a hand to his mouth. "Oh, did I let it slip? Ah, well I'm sure you all had it figured out, anyway. I make good on my promises."

He went to the garish green paper that was poorly wrapped around something that was oddly shaped. "This looks like Kida's doing. Ah! I'm right. Addressed to me only? What, no love for Shizuo?"

"I don't really know him," Shizuo said with an indifferent shrug. He wasn't offended. The next comment reinforced this: "Which one's Kida?"

Izaya chortled as he tore the paper free. "A butt-pillow? I've never heard of such a thing. Is this because I sit so much at the computer?" Izaya's grin conveyed full-well that he understood the dual insinuation of why he might need a pillow for his sore bum.

Shizuo squeezed it. "It's comfy. I'll steal this from you."

Izaya slapped his hand away. "Ah, Zuo has a weakness for squeezing such soft things … I'll have to hide it from you."

The gift from Shingen and Emilia was also shaped rather oddly. "You open it, Shizuo," Izaya offered. Shizuo perked up; he'd always loved tearing open wrapping paper. It had been somewhat cathartic for him as a child. Of course, Izaya knew this.

Shizuo tore it open in one fell swoop. "A dartboard and darts?"

"You showed such skill at the dart game," Shingen explained. "Emilia was impressed!"

Shizuo's eyebrows quirked as he examined the gift. "I'll use it, for sure. Cool. Thanks, Shinra's dad and step-mom."

"Just don't throw the darts at me when you're mad," Izaya cautioned with a mischievous smile.

"This one's from your sisters," Shizuo said, handing Izaya a small, square-shaped object with hearts all over it.

Izaya had a sinking feeling as soon as he saw it. When he unwrapped it, he shook his head. "You two just keep going with this, don't you?"

"I can't read that," Shizuo said. "Who's that lady? Is that a CD?"

" _The Best of the Carpenters,_ " Izaya explained for him. "AKA the band that does the song you so loathe about the birds suddenly appearing as the young lady longs for her unattainable man."

Shizuo's eyes shifted to Mairu and Kururi. "You two were behind that?"

Mairu lifted a hand. "Guilty!"

Kururi bowed her head. "We're sorry. We just wanted you to associate it with our brother and develop fond feelings for him."

Shizuo folded his arms. "What a stupid prank. I don't even understand the lyrics! How can I associate it with him?"

Izaya patted his arm. "Aw, don't offend my poor sisters. They mean well. Mostly." He pointed to a large square package. "That looks like fun to open. Give it a go, Zuo."

Shizuo went for it, but Namie cringed and held out her hands. "Careful! That's fragile!"

Shizuo used as much finesse as he could muster. Izaya clapped his hands together as soon as he saw the brand name on the box. "Oh, Namie, you knew I wanted one of these! Fantastic!"

It was a brand new model of laptop that Izaya had been yearning for. Celty wished he could have had it a little earlier. Still, his face was like a gleeful little child's. It was cute. At least until she remembered his threatening speech from earlier.

"I'm gonna guess this is booze," Shizuo said of a long, thin bag with a golden bow on the side.

"Guilty," Rokujo said with a tile of his hat. "But I don't know you guys too well yet, so I stuck with something most people like. Hell, I know _I_ like it at least. A sweet red wine, great with dessert."

"We'll make use of it," Izaya assured him with a quirk of his eyebrows.

"Ours will pair well with Rokujo's gift," Dennis said, pointing out the envelope. Within it was a rather generous certificate to Russia Sushi, of course.

Izaya and Shizuo exchanged a look: it was a fortunate thing they both liked sushi.

"Well, we'll be in so much you'll get sick of us at this rate," Izaya said glibly.

"No such thing! Is good to have customers inside building; shows other customers food is good!" Simon insisted. Izaya could see his point.

"Now, what on earth could Mr. Akabayashi know about our interests? Hm … He wouldn't know too much, unless of course he was able to spy on us!" Izaya threw his head back and laughed in a way that made everyone except Shizuo cringe. Shizuo didn't get the joke, but Izaya sometimes said things like that where Shizuo would just stare at him with a blank expression.

"I was gonna get you a home security system, but you have Shizuo," Akabayashi quipped. This made everyone snicker because it was a laughable idea to imagine a robber breaking in only to be confronted by an angry Shizuo.

Izaya opened it. "Lessons at Rakuei Gym? Ohoho, you _do_ have some sense of humor, Mr. Akabayashi."

"Well, since you got your ass beat, it's not a bad idea to get back into shape and better learn how to defend yourself." Akabayashi beamed at him. He knew full well who ran the gym and that Izaya's sisters also attended.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes. "That where that girl you told me about works? The one who liked you?"

"Ah! Shizuo has jealousy towards Miss Mikage!" Mairu exclaimed.

"She's like an older sister type," Kururi explained. "More so than Izaya was an older brother for a while."

"Ah, she was just one of my followers for a time," Izaya assured him with one of his more sincere smiles. "I haven't spoken to her since I left town. I suppose I'll have to catch up with her now, though."

"Then I'll go to these lessons, too." Shizuo was obviously threatened. Mikage would put up a formidable fight against Shizuo; she'd even gone toe to toe with Vorona.

The thought positively excited Izaya.

"This one's got a funny shape to it," he said in an attempt to change the subject. "Open it, Zuo."

"From Mika and Seiiji? Oh, the kid who poked pens into me and the chick whose head looks like Celty's?" Shizuo had at least remembered them. He tore the wrapping paper free. "Huh? A scroll?"

He unfurled it to reveal the image of a snake coiled around a tiger.

"The tiger represents a ferocious nature, while the snake represents a refusal to let go of something. I figured it made sense for the two of you. Seiiji agreed." Mika smiled up at Shizuo. It was obvious which one stood for Shizuo and for Izaya.

"Thanks."

"Ah, only three left. Here, Zuo, this is from our coworkers." Izaya handed a basket to Shizuo. It was from Tom and Vorona.

Shizuo removed the tissue paper from the exterior. "Oh, wow. White Russian mix and chocolates?"

"Shizuo have sweet tooth like me," Vorona said with a gentle smile.

"And I figured you enjoyed those White Russians a while ago," Tom added. "Plus, they're sweet too. Sweet goes with sweet, right?"

"Thanks Tom, Vorona." Shizuo was excited by the thought of eating and drinking these delicious items. He was a much easier man to please than Izaya in many respects.

"Don't open ours yet," Kasuka said. "Our manager is on the way with the other part."

This intrigued Izaya, but he went for Shinra and Celty's gift. "Ah, a rice cooker. That's a staple housewarming gift. Quite useful."

He had expected something more from them, as they were rather sentimental. But he masked his disappointment well.

Celty caught it despite this.

Shinra smiled, holding back a laugh. "Izaya, open it to make sure everything's as it should be."

Izaya opened the box – but there was no rice cooker in there. In its place were two small pieces of paper: tickets for a luxury vacation to visit Mt. Fuji.

"Do you want us out of the city that badly?" Izaya quipped. When he spotted Shinra's face fall, he placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm just kidding, of course. This is so thoughtful and lovely. Shizuo'll love it."

"Are your legs good enough to hike up it?" Shizuo asked.

"Mm, I don't know. Maybe for a bit."

"Well, I'll carry you up," Shizuo dismissed. "Thanks, Shinra, Celty. I was actually thinking about taking a trip out of town. This'll be nice. Even with Izaya there."

Shizuo had learned how to joke, in his deadpan way.

The doorbell rang before Izaya could form a retort.

"Ah, perfect timing. That's our manager. Will you buzz him in?"

Before long, the blond, American man known as Max Sandshelt entered the apartment carrying a conspicuous container.

"Thank you, Max," Kasuka said. "Brother, Izaya, open the gift now, if you will."

Izaya was more focused on the strange parcel being held by the blond man. It was a carrying case of some sort with a blanket over it.

He connected the dots just as Shizuo tore the paper free.

"Huh? What's all this stuff? This some kinda weird joke, Kasuka?"

He pulled out a collar and a leash. Masaomi snickered.

Izaya approached the carrying container and lifted up the blanket. A little 'mew' trickled out and a paw pressed against the metal grate in front.

He should've been agitated that Kasuka and Ruri had gotten them such a thing without consulting them first, but Izaya wasn't immune to cute things; he'd fallen for the kitten at first sight.

Shizuo bent down next to him. "A cat? Are we supposed to keep it?"

"Pets are an excellent source of stress relief," Kasuka explained.

"You can bring him on playdates with Dokusonmaru," Ruri added.

Anri also held a weakness for cats. She knelt beside Shizuo and Izaya as Izaya opened the crate.

"Oh, wow! He's so cute!" Anri reached out for the black kitten as it rolled over on its back and mewed.

It quickly reached out and slashed her hand with its minuscule but quite sharp claws.

"Ah, quite the little slasher," Izaya remarked. The kitten allowed him to rub its soft belly. "Perhaps I'll call him 'Saika' in honor of you, Anri."

The little kitten, now deemed 'Saika,' stood up and approached Shizuo. It rubbed against his knee and mewed, looking up at him expectantly.

In that instant, Shizuo's heart melted.

He ran a hand along the tiny creature – a hand that was nearly the length of the kitten, in fact.

"You'll have to watch him for us when we go away." Izaya said, standing up. He'd been abandoned for Shizuo. Such was life.

 _Shizuo is somehow lovable to humans and animals alike. If it has a heartbeat, it's drawn to him._

 _It turns out I'm no different._

"Well, I suppose we should start getting things set up for little Saika and cleaning up here." Izaya stretched. "I'll bet you're all getting tired, at any rate."

This was their cue to go, and they took it.

"Thanks for all the gifts," Shizuo said, holding the kitten up onto his shoulder. Its purr reverberated within his ear and soothed him.

"Thanks for coming!" Izaya added, standing next to him.

[Are you sure you don't need help cleaning up?]

"So kind of you to offer, Big Sister, but I think we'll handle it. I'm sure Saika will be quite interested in all of the chaos." He leaned forward and embraced her, whispering: "You know what I've learned during all of this? You're a better person than any of us, Celty. Isn't that ironic?"

It was his form of a compliment. Celty accepted it, just as she had learned to accept him.

Shizuo leaned in and hugged her as well. "Bye, Celty. Thanks for everything. Take care getting home."

This was Shizuo's reserved way of expressing gratitude for the scheme he knew had closed the immense gap between himself and Izaya. She agreed that he should never learn anymore about it.

As she walked away, she glanced back once more at Izaya as he stood next to Shizuo, who had the kitten in his arms and was smiling at it like it was a cooing baby.

It occurred to her that this was as strange a sight as she must've been to the denizens of Ikebukuro the first time they'd seen her.

 _Ordinary is relative. One person's happiness isn't exclusive to them, however. I feel happy looking at them, at this warped suburban portrait._

 _No – at this perfect portrait. Perfect for them._

She worked throughout the night to resolve her own conscience and convince herself that, although they'd done some things that weren't entirely ethical, it had been for the good of her friends and the good of the town.

Okay, so some of it had been purely out of curiosity.

She pulled her helmet off and looked at it, seeing the reflection of her smoke within it.

 _So I'm curious. No wonder I picked a helmet like this._

In the meantime, Shizuo and Izaya had cleaned up and put things away. The kitten ran from room to room as if it had just had an energy drink or two, rolling in torn paper and ribbons.

In the end, Saika was just as exhausted as Shizuo and Izaya. The kitten curled up between them in bed, purring softly.

Never mind the times in the future where it would lie on Izaya's laptop while he worked, or knock Shizuo's drink over while he reclined outside by the pool.

Sometimes you just had to put up with the annoying aspects of something or someone's personality out of love.

No one can predict the future, and we can't always remember the past, but the present is a remarkable thing, reminding us that we're alive in the great big world – and that we aren't alone.

In the end, the lesson Izaya learned was that life was what mattered, not death, and that there was no enjoyment in living alone.

The small, warm bundle of fur next to him and the not-so-small man sleeping peacefully next to it made Izaya realize that he wasn't alone, and he was loved.

And he'd do anything to protect that.

In the end, perhaps he was the one who'd become a monster. Both monster and mastermind.

Author's note: Thanks to each of you for following and finishing this work. If you enjoyed my writing, please allow me to put in a shameless plug for myself: I have a series published that has similar humor, fantastical themes, and man on man love as my DRRR! fic. If you think you might enjoy, please check it out or follow me on my Tumblr!

Have a wonderful day, and all my best to you in your own little slice of life!

Books are at Amazon or Greyhart Press under 'The Lineage of Tellus'. My tumblr is lola-in-slacks-88.


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